Getting your ex back requires you to plan that will actually work for your particular situation.
All relationships are different, so you shouldn’t blindly follow random tips to get your ex back that you find online.
From this moment onwards, you need to make sure that you only use techniques that will work for you and your woman, rather than expecting her to fall for random tricks that you find online, which are only designed for a very small percentage of women.
From my years of experiencing helping guys to get women back, here is what works for almost all situations…
1. Stop saying and doing things that will further destroy her remaining feelings of respect, love and attraction for you.
When I help guys to get a woman back, one of the most common ways that a guy will be turning off his ex girlfriend, fiancé or wife is by showing signs of emotional weakness.
His ex will be able to pick up on his emotional weakness by looking at the way he texts her, listening to how he talks to her and observing how he interacts with her in person. She will also stop by his social media profiles (if she has blocked him, she will temporarily unblock him to have a look) and see if he appears to be emotionally strong or weak without her.
Emotional strength is an extremely important part of getting an ex back, because women are naturally attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, high-self esteem, happiness regardless of life’s challenges) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. insecurity, low self-esteem, depressed or demotivated when life gets challenging).
If you are serious about getting your ex back, you must ensure that you are no longer showing any signs of emotional weakness or insecurity (e.g. neediness, clinginess, feeling lost without her, accusing her of ruining your life, complaining that life is too hard, etc).
If you can show her an emotionally stronger version of yourself from now on, she will naturally feel more respect and attraction for you with each interaction. However, if you show emotional weakness, you will simply be pushing her further away.
Questions for you:
- Are you aware of the subtle or obvious ways that you’ve been turning your ex off over the past couple of weeks or months?
- Have you been needy or clingy when you interact with her in person, text her or talk to her on the phone?
- Have you come across as being insecure?
- Have you been bugging her via text in the hopes that you might be able to convince her to take you back?
- Have you been complaining about life and relationships when you make posts on social media?
- Have you displayed signs of low self-esteem when you interact with her in person?
From now onwards, it’s extremely important that you stop doing the things that will turn her off further and only display traits, behaviors and inner qualities that are going to make her feel respect and attraction for you (e.g. confidence, high self-esteem, charisma, fearless love, happiness, emotional strength, etc).
If you are not actively making your ex feel respect and attraction for you, she’s not going to be missing you and imagining that she would feel good to be back with you. Instead, she will be continually reminded why she broke it off with you in the first place and that will simply help her to move on with more certainty.
Watch this video to understand 5 classic mistakes that guys make when trying to get an ex back, which further destroy her feelings of love, respect and attraction…
As you will discover from the video above, your ex is only going to start to take you seriously if you actually improve your ability to make her feel the type of respect and attraction that she wants to feel when around a man.
If a guy is unwilling to do that, a woman will rarely be willing to give him another chance.
2. Start fixing the subtle issues that she probably won’t ever tell you about
When a woman breaks up with a guy, she will often say things like, “I need time to myself for a while” or “I don’t feel the same way anymore” or “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now.”
Some women will also add in some details about why they are breaking up with a guy (e.g. he was too needy, too controlling, took her for granted, etc), but outside of that, a woman will tend to keep things pretty vague.
Why? One of the main, subtle reasons why a woman will break up with a guy is that he simply hasn’t been enough of a man for her and she doesn’t believe he has the ability to do that right now.
What does it mean when a woman thinks that a guy isn’t enough of a man for her?
Essentially, it’s about him
- Not being emotionally strong enough.
- Lacking emotional maturity.
- Not having much purpose in life outside of the relationship and therefore putting way too much focus on her and then becoming needy, clingy or insecure as a result.
- Lacking masculinity in how he thinks and behaves around her, which then doesn’t allow her to feel like a feminine girl around him.
- Making her feel like more of a friend to him or as though she is more powerful and dominant than he is.
Women usually don’t explain these things because she doesn’t want to take on the role of teaching her guy how to be a man.
She doesn’t want to find herself in a relationship that requires her to continually teach a guy how to be a man throughout life, because that makes her feel like more of a big sister, mother or teacher figure.
She wants to feel like she is your girl, your woman and be able to look up to you and respect you as her man.
She doesn’t want to feel as though she needs to take on a teaching role or a more dominant, leadership role to guide you on your path to be a man.
It doesn’t matter what age you are right now, there is always a next level of maturity to step up to and if you are a few steps or more behind her in terms of emotional maturity, she’s going to feel like you’re not enough of a man for her.
As you will discover from the video above, your ex is going to need to see that you are capable of being the man she needs before she will allow herself to feel respect for you again.
You can get her respect back with a simple conversation, which I explain in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
3. Don’t try to get her back with pity or by pouring your heart out to her
You can’t really blame a guy for pouring his heart out (e.g. “I love you so much. I will do anything. Please don’t do this to me. My life wouldn’t be worth living without you in it”) if the woman he loves is breaking up with him and doesn’t want to get back with him.
Yet, pouring your heart out and seeking the pity of a woman isn’t what will get her back.
Why? Women are attracted to the emotional strength of men (e.g. confident, happy and forward moving with or without her) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. emotionally destroyed now that she isn’t there to make him feel safe).
When a guy shows emotional weakness during a break up, it makes a woman lose more respect for him and as a result, she loses even more attraction for him.
If you have made the classic mistake of trying to get her back with pity, don’t worry – there is something very simple that you can say to your ex to get her to forgive your behavior, which I explain in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
4. Become emotionally stronger than you have ever been before
As a man, one of the most important, long lasting gifts that you can ever offer a woman is your emotional strength.
A woman wants to be able to feel safe with her man by knowing that he will remain strong no matter how challenging life gets, or how many tests she puts him through (e.g. by throwing tantrums, showing less affection at times, etc).
She doesn’t want to feel as though she has to carry him throughout life and always be the one who needs to lift up his spirits, pat him on the back and tell him to keep his chin high and stay strong.
That’s the role of a mother or big sister, not a girlfriend, fiancé or wife.
When in a relationship, a woman wants a ready-made man who becomes emotionally stronger as the years go on. When her man is consistently emotionally strong, it allows her to feel more feminine in comparison to him (i.e. because she won’t be as emotionally strong and resilient as he is during challenging times in life), which then makes her feel a deeper sexual attraction for him.
When a woman is able to feel deep sexual attraction based on the vast difference of masculinity and femininity between herself and her man, she knows that she has found a real man. When she realizes that, she will never want to break up with him because she will know how difficult it would be to find another man like him again.
If you have never been taught how to be an emotionally strong man, that is not your fault. These days, many guys grow up under a father who is incapable of teaching him how to be a strong man, or they don’t have a father figure around at all.
The ideal type of father will instill emotional strength and emotional masculinity into his sons and they will then go out into the world with a strength that not only attracts women, but makes other men respect and admire them.
It’s not your fault if you didn’t get that type of upbringing, but from this day onwards, it will be your fault if you don’t step up and start becoming a stronger man than you already are today.
When your ex can see that you are becoming more emotionally strong every time she interacts with you or observes you on social media, it will make her feel a renewed sense of a respect and attraction for you in a way that she won’t be able to control.
She won’t be able to switch it off and ignore the fact that she is noticing how much stronger you are now and how much better it makes her feel. She will begin to wonder why she was so harsh on you and why everyone says that a man can never change, because clearly you have changed.
5. Improve your ability to make her feel respect, attraction and love for you when you interact with her
Just because your ex doesn’t have a lot of feelings for you right now and may have even told you to “Get away from me” or “I never want to see you again,” it doesn’t mean that she can’t feel respect, attraction and love for you once again.
So, how can you get her to have feelings for you again?
You must start by getting her respect back, which includes you becoming emotionally stronger and being able to apologize to her in a mature, confident manner on the phone and in person.
Getting her to have feelings for you again then involves you being able to actively trigger her feelings of attraction when you interact with her on a phone call and in person, but not via text.
You cannot get her to feel a renewed sense of respect, love and attraction for you via text because she’s not going to believe that you have changed until she can hear it in your voice and see it in your body language and behavior when she interacts with you in person.
Texts can be easily misinterpreted and if your ex doesn’t yet trust the fact that you have changed, she will most-likely read your messages in a negative light (e.g. assume you are still insecure, assume you are using tricks to try to get her back, etc).
If you are serious about getting your ex back, you have to get her on the phone and you have to get her to meet up with you in person to be able to make her feel real respect and attraction for you again.
When she feels those emotions, she will naturally begin to reconnect with her old feelings of love with you.
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man really works and how you can use it to get her your ex back…
As you will discover from the video above, you have a lot of direct control over how much or little attraction your ex will feel for you.
If you only interact with her in ways that make her feel respect and attraction for you, she will naturally begin to lower guard and reconnect with her old feelings for you.
If you are attracting her in ways that you never have before, she will also feel intrigued and compelled to explore her new feelings of attraction for you, which will result in her texting you, calling you and/or being willing to meet up with you again.
6. Don’t waste time with the No Contact Rule
The only time that a guy should use the No Contact Rule is when his ex really does love him and wants to get back together, but she simply needs a few days to a week apart to calm down after an argument or to realize that she doesn’t want to lose her opportunity to be with him.
In a case like that, the No Contact period will cause her to miss him. She will then contact him, want to meet up with him and want get him back before another woman takes him.
However, if your ex has dumped you and doesn’t want to get back with you because her feelings for you are currently destroyed, then the No Contact Rule will rarely change anything and will simply allow her to move on without you.
As you will discover from the video above, the No Contact Rule is usually a bad idea and simply allows an ex to move on.
7. Don’t act like you don’t care about her
A female friend of mine once said, “If a guy is still playing games with women, he is not ready for an adult, grown up relationship.”
I agree with her 100%. Women don’t always give the best dating and relationship advice, but in this case, she is spot on.
If you are serious about getting your ex back, now is not the time to be playing games with her.
Here is a recent example to show you what I mean…
I was coaching a guy via my phone coaching service and he had unfortunately come across some bad advice online, which told him to be very short and emotionally distant with his ex if she ever reached out to him.
After a week, she reached out to him via text with, “Hey – how are you doing?” and he replied with a short, emotionally distant text message of, “Taking time off for the holidays” and then left it at that.
He then sat around hoping that she would reply or call, but she didn’t. Nothing for an entire week.
He was advised not to call her or ask any questions and to just be short with her, because according to the person who was advising him, sending a text like that to his ex would make him look really cool, tough or attractive.
I really felt sorry for my client because he was a good guy who was simply trying to get the love of his life back, but he had come across some bad advice that was based on emotional weakness rather than strength.
If you use advice that is based on emotional weakness, you will turn your ex off even further. It’s as simple as that. You need to be strong. Acting like you don’t care about your ex is not the way to get her back.
A real man who is emotionally strong would simply reply to a text of, “Hey – how are you doing?” with something like, “Hey – I’m doing well. Nice to hear from you. I’ll give you call in a minute to say a quick hello.”
An emotionally strong man would perceive her message as meaning that she wanted to interact with him because she missed him, or she wanted to check how she would feel if she interacted with him on a phone call because she wasn’t 100% if she’d made the right decision to break up with him.
He would then call her, make her feel respect and attraction for him and then arrange a time to meet up.
On the other hand, an insecure man would think that she was only sending a message like, “Hey – how are you doing?” because she wanted to make him feel bad or check that he’s still the insecure guy that she broke up with. Based on his insecurity, he would try to act emotionally distant to make her think that he was fine without her.
A real man doesn’t waste time with games like that because he knows that he is naturally attractive to women based on his emotional strength and maturity. So, rather than sending her a short text like, “Taking time off for the holidays” he could have replied in a positive way and then simply called her.
If the woman’s ex had really changed the way that he talked to her (e.g. he now comes across as being more emotionally masculine and mature), she will enjoy hearing the difference in him and it will bring her guard down.
I know this because I’ve personally helped many guys through situations like this and I also heard back from my phone coaching client after I instructed him to call his ex and (as I said it to him) “cut the bullshit and just be real with her. Remember that you are a good guy and you have good intentions. There’s nothing weak about a man who loves a woman and is simply trying to fix the problems between them.”
He called her, got the meet up and (to quote part of his e-mail to me), she said, “You’ve changed. Why weren’t you like this before?” which essentially means that she feels more respect and attraction for him now.
She can’t stop herself from feeling the difference now that he has changed. It’s an automatic reaction that a woman has, even if she previously hated her ex.
It took him another meet up with her to get her back into a relationship, but he did it and that is what counts. Sometimes a relationship gets back together at the first meet up, whereas other times it takes 2-3 meet ups to properly get the relationship back together.
If you want to know exactly what to say to get your ex to meet up with you and feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, all of that is explained in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
8. Only text her to get her on a phone call with you
One of the worst tips to get your ex back is to send her loads of text messages in the hope that she will remember the good old times (e.g. lame texts called Green Eyed Monster texts), or waste time hoping that one of your texts will magically fix everything.
Text is the worst way to try to get an ex back, because if she currently has a negative perception of you, she’s not going to be amazed by your texts. Instead, she will most-likely look at them as being yet another annoying, unattractive thing coming from you.
So, don’t hassle her with texts and don’t try to be her friend via text in the hope that she will eventually want to be with you. Text is a horrible way to stay in touch with your ex and almost always makes things worse.
The only time you should be texting your ex is to get her on a phone call. Here’s why…
9. Get her to meet up with you
The purpose of getting her to meet up with you is to get her to experience the new and improved you.
Of course, you should not tell her that though! If you tell her that the purpose of the meet up is to get her to experience the new and improved you, she will most-likely reject you and say that she doesn’t want to get back together with you.
When you get her to meet up with you in person, you need to display personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities that are naturally attractive to women and that make women feel respect and admiration for a man (e.g. Confidence, the ability to charm her and make her laugh despite her potentially being cold or closed off initially, emotional strength, emotional maturity, etc).
There are many different ways that you can make your ex feel respect and attraction for you on a phone call and at an in-person meet up, which I explain in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
When you do make her feel respect and attraction for you, her guard will automatically begin to come down and she will look at you in a more positive light.
10. Get her to forgive you
One of the best tips to get your ex back is to get her to forgive you.
How can you do that?
Essentially, you need to tell her the truth that she will feel better and it will help her with future relationships if she sincerely forgives you for your mistakes. If she doesn’t forgive you, she will carry that baggage into her future relationships and it may cause unnecessary problems for her.
Yet, what she almost certainly won’t know about the psychology of forgiveness is this (don’t tell her this by the way!)…
When she sincerely forgives you, it will actually make her look at your past mistakes as being no big deal.
The negative emotions that she has been carrying around associated to you and the break up will fade away and she will automatically feel more willing to allow herself to feel a stronger, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
From that day onwards, she will think about you and look at you in a more positive light and she will be grateful for the weight that you have lifted off her shoulders by getting her to forgive you.
She will then be more willing to meet up with you in person and she will be emotionally open (rather than having her guard up), which will allow her to feel more respect and attraction for the new and improved you.
Forgiveness is an important part of getting an ex back, so make sure that you don’t skip that part. It really helps to get a woman’s guard down, so you can then make her feel a much stronger sense of respect and attraction for you when she talks to you on the phone and interacts with you in person.
Are You Willing to Do What it Takes to Get Her Back?
If you’ve enjoyed my introductory tips to get your ex back and you want to learn more, I recommend that you watch my proven to work system called, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
It’s a 7-step system, it is very easy to use and by the 7th step, you will be back with your ex in a new and improved relationship. The 7 steps may take you a couple of days, a couple of weeks and in extreme cases a couple of months, but the most important thing is that you actually get her back.
So, are you willing to give this a try? Are you prepared to do what it really takes to get your ex back?
If you are ready to do what it takes to get her back, don’t waste another moment thinking about it. Start now. After watching the 10 hours of video from my program, you will be ready to call her and get her to meet up with you.
If she isn’t answering your calls, I provide tested text message examples that are proven to work to get an ex on a phone call.
At the meet up, you will be able to get her to forgive you and feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
In difficult cases, it might take a couple of meet ups to get her back, but I constantly hear back from happy customers who tell me that they were able to get their ex back at the first meet up.
You can do this.
If you are serious about getting your ex back, get started now and I’ll show you the way.