The best advice to to get your ex back is to focus on triggering her feelings of respect and attraction for you again.
When that happens, she will naturally begin to reconnect with her old feelings of love for you. I’ve already helped hundreds of guys to successfully get an ex-girlfriend, fiance or wife back and I am ready to help you right now.
Watch this video to understand where guys go wrong when trying to get an ex back and what you can do instead to be successful…
As you will discover from the video above, your ex is really only going to take you seriously when you are able to make her feel the type of respect and attraction for you that she feels will justify giving you another chance.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he wasn’t enough of a man for her (e.g. he was insecure, needy, lacked purpose in life, etc), she’s going to need to feel as though that has now changed.
She will pick up on how much he has changed by listening to what he says, how he says it and how he responds to what she says and does.
Respect, Attraction and Then Love
To get your ex back, you need to go through a process with her of rebuilding her respect, attraction and love for you.
Using my techniques, you can get respect back on a phone call and then get her respect and attraction back when you meet up with her.
When she experiences those renewed feelings of respect and attraction for you, she will then open herself up to loving you fully again. When that happens, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you will get back together.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
One of the best pieces of advice to get your ex back is to not waste time with the No Contact Rule. If you look around online, most people will tell you to ignore her and move on and then hope that she comes running back.
However, that only works for about 10% of cases. 90% of guys need to get in contact with their ex and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction over the phone, rather than waiting around and hoping that she doesn’t move on.
Why Did She Break Up With You?
Something about your behavior, attitude, way of thinking or actions must have changed to cause your ex to fall out of love with you.
Relationships end for many different reasons (I explain the 70 reasons in my program Get Your Ex Back: Super System), but a woman falls out of love with a guy after she loses respect for him and then loses her feelings of sexual attraction for him.
It’s a standard process that happens, no matter what the very specific cause is for the break up.
So, the question is: What did you do to make her lose respect and attraction for you?
1. Did You Become Needy or Clingy?
When a guy becomes insecure and behaves in a needy, jealous or overly possessive way around his girlfriend, his insecurity and clingy behavior becomes a complete turn off. Why? Women are sexually attracted and turned on by the emotional strength in men and turned off by the weakness.
If you make your girlfriend the center of your world and abandon your own dreams and ambitions as a result, you become less sexually attractive to her because she senses that you’re hiding from your true potential as a man.
When she notices that other men are pushing forward in life and making their woman proud, she will look at you and wonder why you are still in pretty much the same position in life as when she met you. She may not know why she is feeling turned off, but she will feel turned off.
Instinctively, a woman know that she should be with a guy who loves her, respects her and wants her in his life, but doesn’t NEED her.
If a woman gets the sense that a guy needs her for his emotional security and sense of identity, she begins to feel like more of a mother figure to him, which is a sexual turn off.
A woman wants to be able to feel as though she is with a man that she can look up to and respect, not look down on with pity or disgust because of how emotionally weak he is.
Did you Take Her For Granted?
At the opposite end of the scale, it’s not unusual for guys to slip into taking their girlfriend for granted in a relationship.
This might mean slipping into patterns of behavior that lead to her feeling that her contribution to the relationship isn’t valued.
For example: Making a habit of changing plans at the last minute or adopting an attitude of, “We can do that some other time.”
If you the plans she makes with you aren’t important to you, it makes her feel as though you’re expecting her to just hang around until it’s convenient for you to fit her in. A woman doesn’t want you to devote 100% of your time to her, but she also doesn’t want to feel as though you don’t like spending time with her at all.
Taking her for granted can also include:
- Putting her down (e.g. constantly teasing her about her weight) or picking on her and then expecting her to just put up with that bad treatment.
- No longer looking at her as being your sexy girlfriend and spending more time masturbating to porn, rather that saving up your sexual energy for her.
- Thinking that she will stick by you for life just because things felt good at the start between you.
- Expecting her to cook, clean and take care of you, even though you don’t give her much love, attention and respect.
Did You Put Her in Charge?
A woman still wants to have her say and to be heard, but she wants her man to lead the way to a better life for the both of them.
She wants you to make her feel safe and protected by having a plan for your life and then following through on it with unrelenting determination.
She wants to be able to see that no matter how challenging life gets or how hard it is to achieve your ambitions and goals, you keep pushing forward as the strong one in the relationship.
This allows her to relax into being your woman, instead of being your “partner” who has to behave like a half-man, half-woman around you.
On TV, you will often see people referring to their spouse as their “partner” and if you hear that term often enough, you will think that it’s the right way to talk about a woman that you’re in a relationship with.
It’s not.
She’s not your “partner,” she’s your woman.
To maintain the sexual attraction in a relationship between a man and a woman, you have to be masculine and allow her to be feminine.
If you get her to behave like one of your male buddies, to think like a man and essentially hang out with you in a neutral way like a “partner” in life, then the sexual attraction between you and her will be cancelled out.
It’s just how nature works.
Just like there needs to be a positive and negative for magnets to be attracted to each other, there has to be a masculine and feminine for humans to be attracted to each other.
If you want to keep a relationship together with a woman, you have to be a masculine man and allow her to be a feminine woman (e.g. girly, free to be emotional and irrational at times, etc).
You can’t expect to be half a man and for her to remain excited and happy to be with you as your friendly “partner” in life. In the past, a woman would put up with an unhappy relationship for life because divorce and breakups were seen as shameful, but not in today’s world.
Regardless of the BS that random people say on TV, the truth is that a woman wants to feel like her man is the one in charge.
That does not mean you need to boss her around, decide on everything and do all the work.
It’s easier than that.
All you’ve got to do is be the one who is responsible for the direction you and her are heading and the one who protects her when life gets challenging. If you do that for a woman, she will be 100% more loving, affection and devoted to you than if you forced her to be half a man for you instead.
Getting Her Back For Real
If you’re looking for the best advice on how to get your ex back, I am ready to guide you through the process right now.
If you learn from me, I will guide you through my 7 step system for getting an ex back. By the 7th step, you and her will be back in a loving relationship and she will feel more respect and attraction for you than she ever has before.
You are about to learn how to make your ex feel respect and attraction for you in new and exciting ways. The process that you’re about to go through will transform you as a man and make you more confident, happy and emotionally strong than you ever been before.
I guarantee it.
Are you ready to begin the exciting process of getting your ex back?
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Dan,
I recently purchased the get your ex back system. Everything seems to be working well, I have identified where I went wrong and started fixing these issues. All the ex says is “it sux that you fixed all these things so the next woman benefits”. Any suggestions on how to make her see she could be the one benefiting from these changes?
Hey Steve
Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
By the sound of it, you are telling her that you’ve changed, which is the opposite of what I advise. What I advise is to show her that you’ve changed, not tell her. Please review the videos about contacting and meeting up with her and ensure that you use the approach I advise.
You’ve got to get to Step 5 of the system – it sounds like you’re at Step 4.
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
First and foremost, I want to thank you. I’ve benefitted so much from your teaching. I first purchased the Get Your Ex Back Super System, then watched Better Than A Bad Boy and Coaching Call Breakthroughs. I see the progress in my life, and its exciting and motivating.
I searched the blog for hours to see if anyone has addressed what I’m about to ask you, but was unsuccessful in finding anything. Maybe you can point me in the right direction.
The thing is, I’ve seen my ex on a regular basis since the breakup, usually 1-2 times a week. We attend the same church and we both volunteer with the youth group there. I’m very mindful of not demonstrating my needy/clingy behavior and instead being much more alpha. However, our community involvement makes it very difficult to say in a phone call “lets meet up to say goodbye in a mature way” because we both know that we’ll be seeing each other often.
I realize that distance makes the heart grow fonder (for her) so I’m trying to keep distance between us, and fortunately I haven’t seen her in almost two weeks because of her absence (work related).
Before I found your videos, I approached her in person after the breakup and apologized for my behavior and for the way I treated her, and I asked for nothing in return. It was almost a textbook example of what you would want me to say in an apology.
My dilemma is that I’m running out of ammo to use when arranging or at the meetup! 1. I can’t use the “one last goodbye” approach because (and I’m sure there’s other guys on here that work with their ex-girlfriends) we both know we’ll be seeing a lot of each other. 2. I’ve already apologized, so if I apologize again, I suspect she’ll be feeling like I’m just using that to get with her again (though I do have NEW things that I’ve realized I can apologize for…kinda) 3. My ex and I share the same values inasmuch as we won’t practice premarital sex, so I can only escalate things so far.
Well Dan, I hope you can at least get a chuckle about the pickle I’m in! I’d love to hear your feedback or the feedback of any other guys on the site.
Cheers,
Mark
Hey Mark
Thanks for your comment and for sharing your success so far.
In your case, you need to use the method in Step 3 of the system to make her feeling painful emotions. At this point, you’re only making her feel nice emotions. To be clear: You don’t have to do Plan B, but Plan A.
Since you have already made the correct apology (great to see. It shows that you have a very good understanding of women and people in general), you now need to move on to making her feel more respect and attraction for you as a man. Anything that you can do to show her how confident and forward-moving you are will be beneficial. Try to avoid any talk of getting back together unless she brings it up.
Instead, just show her love and respect, while also subtly letting her know that you’re happy with or without her. I know, it sounds horrible to even think that, but she needs to feel that coming from you to be shocked into feeling as though she is likely making a big mistake by losing you.
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
Thank you for your reply. Prior to reading your reply the following has occurred. I was really beginning to sense that she was avoiding me; that we were hiding from each other even when we were in the same room. It took a lot of will power and courage, but I went ahead and contacted her to arrange a meetup. I used one of the scripts you supply in the video “Step 4: Contact” and tailored it a little to fit my situation. She received it really well and even sounded excited at the chance to have a meet-up. There were times in the phone call where she tried to interrupt, like when I was saying phrases like “catch up one last time,” and “say goodbye in a mature way.” Perhaps her interrupting was her being afraid of losing me for good…
So we met up a couple days later and it was going swimmingly. It was fun, flirty, carefree, and enjoyable. About 15 minutes in, I said what I wanted to say in terms of an apology, and she thanked me for it. She then said, “So we’re still friends?” When I said that I think we’re both mature enough to be friends someday, she seemed really confused. To be honest, I was a little confused in the moment as well. The important thing was that she said, “You’re going to have to spell this out for me.” This was good to hear because that put the ball in my court, she was demonstrating that she needed my lead.
I changed the subject to something positive and the meetup was going great yet again. Maybe 15 minutes later I said, “Well we should wrap up, I want to respect your time…” “What? We haven’t even been here that long… its not even late yet” she says with the cutest smile. It was really reaffirming to see that she wanted to keep spending time with me. It proved to me that she was really enjoying herself.
Then a couple of her friends walked by (we were on a streetside cafe) and joined us. I hadn’t seen them in a while so it was actually a lot of fun to have their company. A third person joined (making 5 of us) and we all chatted ’till it got dark. Normally, this kind of unforeseen circumstance would have put me on edge, but thanks to your teaching, I just went with the flow and kept the energy high. There were numerous times that her and I had these private glances back and forth in the midst of the company there. The silent communication between us was very sexy, very energizing.
The time came when everyone agreed to head their head their separate ways and I walked with her toward her car. I said goodbye to the three that joined us. Then she said, “So then I’ll see you next week at camp…?” She had already asked me this a couple times during the meetup, and I hadn’t given a solid reply, since I wasn’t sure if my schedule would permit going to the event in question. Really, this was just a transition to a hug, which was more accurately a long-lasting embrace. It felt amazing to feel her squeeze me like that again. When I pulled back from the hug, I went in for a kiss, but she buried her chin and gave a barely audible gasp. I kissed her on the cheek anyway, and then we both said goodbye.
Well, I felt pretty confident about myself after that moment. Yet, as the days passed I grew a little confused about why she didn’t want to kiss, and whether my going in for one was a good idea. It’s behind me now, and now that I’ve read your reply I’m going to do my best to make her feel painful emotions. She is making a huge mistake if she doesn’t consider reconciling.
Thank you again Dan,
Mark B.
Hey Mark
COOL! Nice work man.
There is nothing better for me than hearing back from guys who put my advice into action. It’s such an honor to be helping you and guys like you. Well done man!
About the current status of your relationship: Well, you will have certainly gotten her thinking. In your case, all it likely take now is another meet up and, if possible, have a few drinks together. It sounds like she wants to give it another shot, but she is confused. A few drinks to loosen up the vibe and then some great sex that night will definitely get the train back on the track.
If you can’t do that and you and her see each other at the camp, just focus on making her feel attracted to you by being a confident, cool guy with everyone. Have a great time and be happy with or without her, so she feels drawn to you.
I hope to hear about more of your success.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan quick question I have been using Get Your Ex Back: Super System and I have a question. I couldn’t get the meet up because she was having trouble with me leaving her life she absolutely refused( before I said that she said maybe and she said before I moved by her I wouldn’t have given a shit about the meet up with her ). If I text or call her she responds very fast So I gave her a call out of boredom and had a quick chat and it seemed like conversation like we use to have and seemed like we were together. So I ended the convo and as soon as I hung up I get a text saying ” u got a new girl already?” As soon as we got off the phone ( I’ve been using the Fbpm). Any tips in next steps. Should I continue use the fbpm and build rapport though phone convo we were in a long distance relationship for a long time but know I actually live close to her now . I don’t really know what I should do next please help.
Hey Travis
Thanks for your question.
You’ve got to be persistent with the request to meet up. In your case, you need to use a bit of a different approach. Tell her that you want to meet her because you miss being able to hug her. Tell her you love her and at least want to meet up to see each other. Tell her that if she just wants to speak badly to you at the meet up, that is fine, but at least meet up.
BTW: I looked you up on Facebook and couldn’t see much of the FPFM. Add me here if you want me to take a closer look and make some recommendations: https://www.facebook.com/dan.bacon.modern.man
It’s important to use the FPFM, but make sure that you don’t delay too much. If you get her on the phone, the main purpose is to arrange a meet up. You have to get the meet up so you can then use the attraction techniques at the meet up.
Cheers
Dan
Hey dan I added you on Facebook you should be able to see them thanks for the help
Dan, im trying to decide weather or not to get your system I feel my situation is hopeless I was with a great amazing strong woman, and made consistent mistakes in the relationship and after I would take one step forward then two back I apologized for things in the right way then pushed it back its at the point where she herself was bringing up good memories of the breakup to console me I have presented myself as weak needy desperate and promised things that I never did. she even asked me to forgive my friend she is seeing because he was trying to end it. And I did I slipped right into the door matt thing. she has told me things like she isn’t the only one out there I have done all the wrong things again and again this has gone on two months you truly think if I apply your system I can get her back? I pushed her out completely all I would do is say the right thing then do the wrong because I didn’t give her the space when the breakup was fresh and make a plan. I see now I would make a good stem by saying I just wanted to be there for her emotionally and financially then would mess it up by ignoring a text sending her to another guy I really feel I wasted to much time please give me an honest answer she is the mother of my child I have to get her back before she falls in love with someone else but she really sees me as unattractive now she truly has moved on its gone back and forth for two months like I said
-Caleb
Hey Caleb
Thanks for your question.
In your situation, Plan A (the normal approach) from my system may not work because of how much you’ve turned her off and messed with her emotionally. You will need to use Plan B and then go through the rest of the system. I’ve personally worked with 100+ clients who have been in a similar situation as yours and have managed to get their ex back, so I know that Plan B from the system will get her wanting to give it another chance.
I welcome you to try it: http://store.themodernman.com/get_your_ex_back_super_system.html I am sure you will be more than happy with how quickly she begins to open herself up to you again.
BTW: The majority of guys who need help to get a woman back feel as though their situation is worse than other guys. Yet, what matters is using the techniques from the system to get her to feel the right type of emotions that will get her to change her mind. Watch this intro video for more info: http://store.themodernman.com/get_your_ex_back_super_system.html
Cheers
Dan