Okay, so you’ve been using the No Contact Rule for too long and now you want to get your ex back.
Here’s what to do…
Just call her and say hello.
Reactivate her feelings by using some humor.
Say in a joking manner, “Hey ex girlfriend…how are you? I thought I’d give you a call to say hi,” and then say, “Well, I thought you might come running back to me if I didn’t contact you, but I guess you’re completely over me then, right?” and let her answer and have a laugh with her about that.
Don’t be serious about what you are saying and how she is answering.
Just relax, be confident, be easy-going and be willing to have a laugh about it.
If you can get her to laugh at what you’re saying, you can then say, “Well, it’s good to see that we can still have a laugh. So, how have you been anyway?” and have a conversation with her.
During the conversation, let her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new and improved you and then get her to meet up with you in person.
When you meet up in person, you can re-spark her feelings for you by showing her (via what you say, the way you behave and the way you interact with her) that you’re a different guy from the one she remembered.
When you spark her feelings for you again, she will begin to forget all about the fact that you haven’t been in touch with her for a long time because she will feel good to be around you.
You can then start getting to know each other all over again with a clean slate, based on who you are as a man now, rather than who you used to be before she broke up with you.
3 Common Reasons Why Guys Don’t Get Their Ex Back After Using the No Contact Rule For Too Long
After helping 100s of men to get women back, I’ve realized something…
It’s never too late to get an ex back.
I’ve literally helped guys to get a woman back after days, weeks, months and even years.
There is always a chance to get her back.
Yet, the guys who fail at getting their woman back after using the NC rule fail for one of the following reasons…
1. He feels like it’s too late to contact her
Sometimes, a guy will cut off all communication with his ex after a break up and think, “If I give her some time to cool off, not only will she forget about how bad things were between us, but it will also give her a chance to miss me. Then, she will contact me, tell me that she misses me and wants to see me and we will meet up. We will then get back together.”
He might then ignore her for 30 to 60 days (in some cases even longer) and then when she doesn’t call, he wonders, “Huh? Why isn’t she calling me? Did she ever love me? Do I mean nothing to her? I thought using the No Contact Rule worked on women. What do I do now?”
The reason why she didn’t call is that the NC rule just doesn’t work in most cases. Why?
When a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because she’s reached the stage where her positive feelings of respect, attraction and love for him have been pushed into the background because of his behavior (e.g. he was insecure, treated her badly, took her for granted, was too needy, disappointed her again and again).
At that point, she will allow negative emotions such as anger, resentment, pain and disappointment to come to the front of her mind and fill her heart with a feeling that tells her she must break up with him and never look back.
When her ex stops interacting with her by going no contact, she just hangs on to the negative thoughts and feelings about him and moves on.
So, can he get her back?
When he interacts with her and actively reawakens her feelings of respect and attraction, everything begins to change and she suddenly starts to remember why she loved him so much in the beginning.
He can then get her back by confidently guiding her back into a relationship.
Yet, most guys don’t realize that, so they just give up and feel like they now have no chance of getting her back because they’ve been using the NC rule for way too long.
For example: A guy might say to himself, “It’s too late! I’ve been using the No Contact Rule for months and if I call my ex up she probably won’t want to talk to me, or she will have likely moved on. There’s nothing I can do now. I’ve missed my chance with her.”
It’s not too late.
There is no time limit for getting an ex back. Some guys get their ex back in one day, some in one week, one month, a year or several years later.
You can get her back, but if you want her back, you have to man up and do something about it.
Sitting around wasting more time and saying, “It’s probably too late to contact her now. What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?” is not going to change the situation.
You have to start interacting with her and making her feel SOMETHING for you again.
Even if all she wants from you at first is a friendship, being friends with her is better than doing nothing at all.
By becoming friends with your ex, you can regularly interact with her and use that time to actively reawaken her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
On the other hand, if you do nothing, you might find yourself all alone a year from now still wondering how you can get her back, while she will have likely moved on and possibly even gotten engaged to some other guy.
2. He feels unwelcome to talk to her
In some cases, a guy might eventually work up the courage to contact his ex after ignoring her for a long time, only for her to say something like, “Why are you calling me now? It’s been ages since we broke up and I’ve moved on. I’m seeing someone else now. What do you want?”
He might then think too himself, “Well, that’s it then. I gave it a try and she just isn’t interested in even talking to me anymore. Therefore, I can’t get my ex back and no-one can. I tried the No Contact Rule and it didn’t work.”
Little does he know that the NC rule only works in about 20% of cases.
In other words, it has an 80% failure rate.
That is why I’ve never recommended it.
If you want a woman back, you almost always have to go through this 3 step process:
Most guys don’t know that it’s possible to actively re-attract their ex, so they just go silent and hope that she comes running back.
Yet, it just doesn’t work in most cases.
Of course, sometimes it does work and sometimes, it doesn’t even matter that a guy has ignored his ex for a long time; he can still get her back.
There are many reasons why a woman might be unwelcoming when her ex finally calls her after weeks or months of ignoring her.
- He might have taken her by surprise and she is shocked to hear from him again and she doesn’t know how to react, so she acts cold and distant.
- He might have caught her at a bad time (e.g. she is hanging around a friend who doesn’t like her ex, so she tries to act like she isn’t happy to hear from him).
- She could be feeling hurt that it took him so long to contact her and she doesn’t want to come across as eager to hear from him.
- She might be feeling cautious about showing too much emotion because he might start ignoring her again.
- She could be playing hard to get so she doesn’t come across as being too desperate to see him again.
Regardless of her reasons for sounding unwelcoming the first time her ex interacts with her, it’s up to him to remain confident and focus on making her laugh and smile.
When a woman is laughing, smiling and having fun talking to her ex, it becomes difficult for her to maintain a cold, distant persona at the same time.
This is why you need to be persistent and make sure that your ex feels good when she’s interacting with you.
When her feelings of respect and attraction for you are reactivated, it becomes difficult for her to tell you to go away, and she then drops her guard and opens back up to you.
3. He sends her a text rather than calling her
Another reason why a guy might lose out on getting his ex back after using the No Contact Rule for too long, is by sending her a “feeler text” to see if she responds with signs of interest.
For example: A guy might text his ex something like, “Hey Jenny, it’s Peter here. I just wanted to say hi.”
He’s hoping that by contacting her via text (after ignoring her for 30-60 days) she will be more open to the idea of hearing from him again because it’s easier than a phone call.
He also hopes that she will then respond by texting him something like, “Oh, hi Peter. How have you been? It’s been such a long time since we chatted! Do you want to get together sometime to catch up?”
Yet, that’s not usually how it works.
Unless a woman has actually been sitting around desperately missing her ex and hoping that he will contact her, she will most likely just ignore his text and keep moving on with her life.
Even if a woman does respond though, it’s often because she just wants to find out what her ex has been up to, and if he’s moved on and found another girlfriend, or if he’s still missing her and feeling unhappy without her.
So, if you want to get your ex back after using the No Contact Rule for too long, don’t waste any more time randomly texting her in the hopes that she’ll give you a clear sign that she’s open to getting back together again.
You’ve got to her on a phone call with you, where you can actually get her smiling, laughing and feeling good to be talking to you again and then arrange a time to catch up in person.
In person, you will be able to fully reawaken her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you by showing her that you’re now a very different (i.e. more confident, mature, charismatic) man than the one she remembered.
What You Can Do if Your Ex Won’t Answer Her Phone
In some cases, a woman might not answer her phone right away when she notices that it’s her ex calling.
However, that doesn’t mean you can’t get her to answer your call at all.
Here’s what to do if she’s not answering your calls.
Just send her a text like, “Hey Jenny, it’s Dan here. We haven’t spoken in a while and there is something quickly that I’d like to ask you over the phone. I guess you’re busy at the moment, so I might try call you another time.”
Many women will reply to that and say something like, “Sorry, I was in the shower. You can call me now” and you can then make the call, or, “What do you want to ask me?” and you then just call rather than replying via text.
In some cases, a woman will just call back to find out what her ex wants.
If she doesn’t respond though, just call her the next day.
If she still doesn’t answer, just wait another day, call and if she still doesn’t answer, send her this text, “Hey Jenny – trying to get in touch to ask you something quick. I might try calling you again next week then. Have a great week,” and then call her a week from then.
In most cases, her curiosity will get the better of her and she will most-likely answer your call to see what you want, or at least text back to find out (if she texts, call her, don’t text your reply).
Once you get her on a phone call, you need to reawaken some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. by making her laugh, smile and feel happy).
When she can hear the confidence and sincerity in your voice, her guard will come down and she will then become open to meeting up with you in person again.
At the meet up, you need to show her, via your body language, conversation style, the way you’re interacting with her and the way you respond to what she is saying, that you’re at a different level now from the one you used to be when she broke up with you.
Initially, she might act like she’s not interested and possibly even say something like, “Well it’s nice chatting to you again, but what happened between us is over now,” but she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.
Deep down she’ll likely be thinking, “He’s really different now. It’s actually nice talking to him again. It actually feels good. Why am I feeling this way? Should I give him another chance? Maybe it will be fun to kiss him again and have sex like we used to. It might be fun. I heard that make up sex feels great. Yeah, maybe I should do it just to see how I feel.”
How Much Longer Are You Going to Wait Before You Call Her?
So, you’ve been ignoring your ex for weeks, months and possibly even years.
If you want, you can continue on saying, “It’s too late. I used the No Contact Rule for way too long. There’s no way that she’d want to hear from me” or you can take action right away to start the exciting process of getting her back.
If you begin the ex back process, you will find that it is life changing, confidence boosting, exciting and enlightening because you become such a better man during the process and you get your girl back.
The break up may have been painful for you, but things are about to get real good for you.
Even if you contact her and she initially says, “Go away! I’m over you now. It’s too late,” when you reawaken some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you, her resistance will fade and she will open back up to you because she will be feeling drawn to you.
On the other hand, if you just continue ignoring her, it’s highly likely that nothing will change.
You will probably still be missing her months or years from now and she will likely have moved on, forgotten all about you and enjoying her life without you.
So, just pick up the phone and call her…
It doesn’t really matter if your ex is going to be happy to hear from you again or not.
What matters is whether or not you’re actively interacting with her again and sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
Once you’ve re-sparked her feelings for you, the next step is to confidently guide her back into a relationship.
You can do that.
Guys all over the world get their women back every day and you can do it too, even if you’ve already wasted loads of time with the No Contact Rule.