When an attractive woman first gets into a relationship, she’ll usually still have a number of other guys who are trying to pursue her.
If she is serious about you, she will let the other guys know that she is no longer available because you are her boyfriend and she’s not planning on break up with you.
However, sometimes a woman will text other guys to make you jealous because she doesn’t feel like she has enough power over you, or she wants to test how confident you are in your attractiveness to her compared to other guys.
What Happened to Me and How I Fixed it (Personal Story)
Personally speaking, my girlfriend (who recently became my wife) was 20 when I met her and I was 35.
That’s her in the photo above. Obviously, she is hot, young and sexy, so it was no surprise to me that other guys were pursuing her around the time I met her.
When we first began our relationship, she had one particular guy (who she’d hooked up with a few months before) who was trying to pursue her via text and Whatsapp.
What did I do when I saw that he was texting her?
Nothing. I simply ignored it. From my perspective, I am a highly valuable guy and if a girl messes up with me, it’s her loss, not mine.
So, when I was sitting with her on the sofa during the first week of our relationship and some other guy kept texting her, I just let it unfold. I didn’t bother me at all because it’s normal for a hot girl to still have other guys hovering around hoping to get a chance.
I didn’t feel jealous or worry about losing her. Instead, I simply waited to see what would happen and just got on with being my normal confident, positive, forward moving self.
The only thing that crossed my mind was that I wanted to see if she’d eventually talk to me about it and ask me for advice on how she could get rid of him.
When she continued to see that I wasn’t reacting an insecure way to the texts and Whatsapp messages that kept coming through, she eventually said, “Hhh! This guy keeps texting me. He’s asking if you and me are serious. What should I say?”
We were in my lounge room at the time and I said in a confident, easy-going and sincere way, “Whatever you want. If want to be serious with me, then tell him that and if you don’t, then meet up with him. It’s up to you.”
She said something like, “No way! I’m not meeting up with him. I’m with you now. I’m just replying to his texts.”
It took about 4-5 days for her to get to that point.
Essentially, because she was a hot, 20 year old girl, it was only natural for her to want to text and get attention like that from another guy.
Although her and I have never discussed it since (I don’t care because I know that I’m much more attractive and appealing than any guy she’s met before), I know that one of the reasons she kept texting him was to see if I would get jealous.
The fact that I didn’t get insecure or jealous allowed her to be able to feel a deep respect and attraction for me that would have been impossible to feel otherwise.
She knew that I could easily attract other women (I had 4 other women in my life at that time), so she didn’t want to play hard to get with me and get dumped.
She’s a very confident girl who knows that she’s hot, so the only type of man who can truly match up with a girl like that for life, is a man who knows that he is attractive as well.
Bringing this back to your girlfriend…
If your girlfriend is attractive and could easily get another guy, you’ve got to make sure that you feel like you are more than good enough for her, rather than feeling like she is making a mistake by being with you.
Don’t ruin your chance at deepening your girlfriend’s respect and attraction for you by being unnecessarily insecure or jealous.
If she’s just texting this other guy to test you, then she’s going to want to see that you are confident in your sex appeal and value to her.
If you can honestly believe that the other guy is nothing compared to you, then you will naturally come across as more attractive and appealing to her because you will be confident and emotionally secure, rather than insecure.
Knowing that you’re better than him is not about putting him down or saying that you’re more appealing and attractive than he is. Instead, it’s just about knowing that you’re better than him because he said so.
Each man gets to decide his own worth in this life, so don’t make the mistake of deciding that you’re unworthy of your girlfriend’s attention, love and devotion.
Know that you’re more than good enough for her.
When you know that you’re more than good enough for a woman, you can smile and even laugh at any tests she tries to put you through.
When a woman sees that you have that kind of belief in yourself, it makes her feel a deep respect and attraction for you that she could not experience if you were insecure.
Women Don’t Always Behave Like We Do
Over the years, I have helped many guys understand why women behave in the ways they do.
Here’s a video to give you some examples about the differences between men and women…
As you will discover from the video above, women often think, behave and act in a completely different way than most men expect them to.
This is why, when a guy asks me, “Should I be worried that my girlfriend keeps texting another guy?” I have to explain that even though in certain circumstances it can be okay (e.g. when the guy is a very good friend she’s known for many years, if she’s working on a big project at work or in college that requires she communicate with this guy, or she’s just testing his confidence to see if he’ll become jealous), more often than not, her texting another guy is not a good sign.
Although it is fine for a woman to be social and friendly with other men at times, if she is flirting and texting with another guy when you’re in a long-term relationship, then there is a problem.
For example: Although I was completely fine to let my girlfriend slowly get rid of a texting guy when her and I first got together, I definitely wouldn’t accept her texting now.
She hasn’t ever done anything like that since (otherwise I wouldn’t have married her) and simply laughs at any attempts that guys make to try and chat with her (e.g. she still gets random guys trying to add her and chat with her via Facebook, even though her relationship status is set to married).
I don’t care if another guy tries to contact her via Facebook, because I know that she won’t flirt with him.
I’ve made her feel deep and intense respect, love and attraction for me from the start, to the point where she has literally said things like, “If you ever dumped me, I would be screwed. There’s no way I could ever find a guy like you out there again.”
Something like that anyway. She said it in a more romantic, loving way, but that should give you an idea of her mindset prior to us getting married.
She is 100% committed to our relationship and knows that being with me is much better than risking being stuck with a guy who doesn’t have half the attractive qualities (e.g. true confidence, the ability to make her laugh and feel girly, charisma, masculine vibe, etc) that I do.
Yet, how about your girlfriend?
Does she you as being better than other guys? Does she feel like she’s got herself an awesome boyfriend, or does she feel as though she might have settled for a guy who may not deserve her?
If you’re worried that she’s rapidly losing interest in being with you, what should you do that she is texting another guy?
You probably don’t want to become one of those insanely jealous, controlling boyfriends who forbid their girlfriend to talk to other guys, right?
However, if your girlfriend texting another guy is making you feel disrespected, it’s definitely up to you to make her stop, especially if you’ve been in a relationship more than a couple of months.
If your relationship is only beginning, don’t worry about it, but if you’ve been together for a long time, you need to stand up for yourself in a calm, confident way.
You have to get her to respect you, but don’t try to achieve that by getting angry and forcing her to show you respect. You have to tell her how you feel and give her an ultimatum.
For example: If I was in that situation, I would say something like, “Hey, we’ve been together for a while now and we’re a couple, but by texting other guys like that, you are showing me that you’re committed to this relationship and to us being together. I feel like you’re disrespecting me when you do that and I’m not going to put up with it. If you don’t stop texting him, then you and me are finished.”
If she keeps texting him after then, simply dump her and teach her a lesson.
If you’re worried about dumping her because you think she will run to him, then you’ve set the relationship up incorrectly.
For a relationship with a woman to be successful, you have to make her feel lucky to be with you.
If it’s you who feels like the lucky one to have her, then it’s only natural that she will begin to stray if you stop making her feel a sufficient amount of attraction to justify being in a committed relationship with you.
Watch this video to understand why being able to trigger a woman’s attraction and then deepen it in a relationship is so important for a guy’s success with women in life…
As you will discover from the video above, it doesn’t really matter what you look like in comparison to this other guy.
What’s important is whether or not you are making her feel attracted to your personality and who you are as a man.
If he’s making her feel more attracted to his personality, confidence and potential as a man, while you’re turning her off with insecurity and jealousy, then it’s only a matter of time before she breaks up with you.
Watch this video to understand the 3-step process that a woman usually goes through before breaking up with a guy…
Note: The video above is for guys who’ve already been broken up with.
Use the advice in that video to ensure that her texting doesn’t turn into cheating and then a break up with you.
What is Causing Your Girlfriend Turn to Another Guy?
Although it’s politically correct to say that a modern relationship is a 50/50 partnership, I can assure you that this is what causes most relationships to lose the spark and break up.
If your girlfriend is feminine, then you have to make sure that you are very masculine in how you think, feel, behave and take action in life.
You can’t be neutral like a friend and expect that the sexual spark will remain. You have to be masculine, which then allows her to be feminine.
Just like a magnetic force attracts with a positive and negative, humans feel attracted when there is a clear difference in masculine and feminine energy.
If your girlfriend is turning to another guy, you may have been making the mistake of being too neutral, too masculine (e.g. aggressive, cold, etc) or possibly too feminine (e.g. being cutesy, giggling like her, etc).
Although it’s important to be masculine, you have to make sure that you also love and respect her and don’t take her feelings for you for granted.
As a man, you’ve got to take on the responsibility of deepening the love, respect and attraction that your girlfriend feels for you over time.
You can’t expect her to do that and hope that it happens magically on its own. Love, respect and attraction deepens over time when a guy is confident, masculine, but also loving, caring and considerate.
It’s about being a man that she can look up to and respect, rather than being a sensitive, insecure guy that she feels she needs to take care of emotionally or a careless, asshole of a boyfriend who expects her to stick around because things were good at the start.
If a guy fails to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for him over time, the woman will gradually begin to lose interest in being in a relationship with him. She will slowly fall out of love with him and open herself up to the idea of being with another guy.
Of course, it hasn’t always been like that for men.
In the past, women had to stick with one man for life because it was shameful to get divorced (people got married, rather than being boyfriend and girlfriend), but in today’s world, a woman can break up with as many guys as she wants.
If a woman isn’t happy, she no longer has to stick around, which is why it has become essential for modern men to be able to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction over time.
If your girlfriend is texting another guy, whether behind your back or even right in front of you, she is clearly letting you know that something about your attitude or behavior in the relationship has changed, and it is causing her feelings for you to change.
From now on, you are either going to change your approach to her and get her to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, or you’re going to potentially ruin the dynamic further and lose her.
Now that you’ve managed to find my site here, you don’t have to sit around and wait for the day when your girlfriend comes to you and says, “It’s over. I’m in love with another guy and I’m leaving you.” If you do that, you’ll most-likely be back here again watching my video on how to get an ex back.
If you want to avoid getting dumped by your girlfriend because of this other guy, you’ve got to make some changes right now.
Here’s what you need to do…
1. Identify the real reasons why your girlfriend is losing interest in you.
If you have a think about it for a minute, you could probably come up with several reasons why your girlfriend is unhappy with you.
Although it would be nice if your girlfriend sat you down and explained exactly where you’ve been going wrong and exactly what you need to do to get her to feel enough respect, love and attraction for you, she’s probably not going to do that.
Why? A woman doesn’t want to have to teach her guy how to be a man. She wants him to figure that out himself and then simply be the man she needs.
If she has to spell it all out, she will end up feeling like his mother who has to teach him the rules of life – or in this case how to behave like a real man in a relationship.
So, the first step you need to take is to figure out what is really causing your girlfriend to lose interest in being in a relationship with you.
For example: Have you been behaving in any of the following ways lately?
- Taking her for granted.
- Being needy and clingy.
- Failing to rise through the levels of life and your true potential, because you’re hiding behind the safety of your relationship with her.
- Letting her wear the pants in the relationship.
- Lacking in self-confidence around her and in social situations.
- Feeling insecure about losing her to the point where you can’t control your jealousy.
When you know the real reasons why your girlfriend is losing interest in you, you can make the correct changes that will make her feel understood and happy again.
When she feels a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, the other guy will become less appealing to her.
On the other hand, if you don’t know exactly what she really wants you to change, you might keep making the same old mistakes, or you might try to change the wrong things.
For example: A woman might be losing interest in a guy because he is insecure and he’s not reaching for his true potential as a man. Yet, he will try to impress her by taking her out to expensive dinners, telling her how much he loves her and trying to be a nicer, more caring boyfriend.
Until he fixes the real issues that are causing her to lose respect and attraction for him, she won’t really appreciate all the other things he does because it’s not what she really cares about or wants to see from him right now.
2. Make the changes now, before it’s too late
There’s really no point in figuring out what is causing your girlfriend to turn to another guy, if you don’t then make a serious effort to begin improving your appeal to her.
Your girlfriend is only going to begin taking you seriously again, when she sees that you’re rapidly improving in the areas that were turning her off.