Nothing can be more frustrating than being in a relationship where you feel you’re walking on eggshells around your girlfriend (fiancé or wife) all the time.
When you find yourself saying, “My girlfriend nags me all the time,” and when nothing you seem to do is right for her, it’s easy to start thinking, “I can’t take this anymore” “Why is nothing I ever do good enough for her” and “I love her, but I don’t know what’s wrong with her all the time.”
Although it’s easy to just write it off as her being difficult or fussy, or even to just ignore it and hope that somehow she’ll miraculously stop behaving this way, when your girlfriend nags you, it’s her way of telling you, “I’m not happy with the way things are in the relationship. You’re not making me feel the way I want to feel and if you don’t shape up and make some changes, I’m going to break up with you.”
In a relationship, it’s the man’s responsibility to not only maintain the love, respect and attraction that his woman feels for him, but also to maintain the correct relationship dynamic.
If he fails to do that, she will gradually begin losing respect for him as a man, and she will start behaving in “negative” ways, like nagging him all the time, in an attempt to make him realize that she’s not happy in the relationship.
If he fails to take any action and make her feel understood, she will become irritated and frustrated by the relationship and will usually end up breaking up with him.
What Is She Trying to Tell You Every Time She Nags You?
A woman doesn’t just “nag” because she likes the sound of her voice, so to speak. Even if to you she’s being petty or unreasonable, like if she nags you to put the cap back on the toothpaste, or if she nags you because you came home late from work or college, to her these things pinpoint a deeper underlying issue.
A woman will nag a man because…
1. She feels more masculine than him.
In the past, men and women lived by clearly defined gender lines. The men had all the power and the women were forced to do what their father, and later on their husbands, told them to do.
In today’s world, women have become so confident and independent, that most men end up believing women no longer need a man to lead in a relationship. This is why so many modern men no longer know how to behave around women. Add to this the fact that the media is constantly bombarding us with confusing signals.
Take for example the lyrics in popular songs like Destiny’s Child “Independent Women”:
“Tell me how you feel about this
Try to control me boy you get dismissed
Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills
Always 50/50 in relationships” – Destiny’s Child
It almost seems like women want to think, behave and act like men and that guys have become an optional extra in their life. Yet, that isn’t what is really going on. Women are simply becoming stronger and more independent and they want men to become even stronger than they are.
Most guys end up feeling confused about the “right” way to behave around women because they don’t really know what their true place in a woman’s life is. Some guys respond by suppressing their masculinity and letting the woman “wear the pants” in the relationship because they think that’s what she wants.
Yet, regardless of how intelligent, strong and amazing a woman is, she still wants her man to be the man.
If you’re saying, “My girlfriend nags me all the time but I don’t know why” let me tell you why: It’s because she’s feeling more masculine than you. You are forcing her to be somewhat of “the man” in the relationship and she’s feeling the burden of always having to make the everyday decisions, or tell you what to do.
Her nagging you is her way of letting you know that she wants you to be mentally and emotionally stronger than her, so that she can sometimes relax into being a feminine woman.
She doesn’t want to feel pressured into being the man in the relationship, or have to “mother” you because you’re sitting back and suppressing your masculinity because you think that’s what she wants you to do.
If you keep forcing her to take on the masculine role, she won’t feel like a real woman and she will not enjoy being around you.
2. She feels he is taking her for granted.
For a woman to relax in the relationship and be a feminine woman, she needs to feel that her man is making her feel the way she wants to feel. It is the man’s responsibility to maintain and grow the love, respect and attraction that him and his woman feel for each other.
However, many guys who lack experience with women often assume that getting a woman to go out with him is where the hard work lies and once she’s “his” he can relax and revert to old (negative) patterns and behaviors. Add to this the pressures of everyday life, and it often leads to him becoming neglectful of his girlfriend (fiancé or wife).
When this happens, a woman naturally begins to feel taken for granted. She feels un-loved and un-appreciated and she resorts to nagging him in the hopes that he’ll notice how miserable she is and make changes in his attitude and behavior.
3. She feels like she has more purpose in life than he does.
A woman likes the idea of being with a man who is able to have his say in the world and who will ultimately be able to provide for himself, her and their children if they have any. The idea of being with a man who is going to struggle to put food on the table is not appealing to women.
Yet, a woman will be just as attracted to a man who has the potential to become more powerful and successful, as she is to a guy who is already powerful and successful.
When a woman ends up in a relationship with a guy she perceives as having potential to become more successful in his life, only to discover that he’s hiding from his true potential and using his relationship with her as an excuse because he actually lacks purpose, she will naturally feel turned off.
She will end up becoming a nag in the hope that he’ll pick himself up and rise through the levels of life like a real man. If he fails to do that, she will eventually lose respect and attraction for him and eventually her love for him will die.
When She Feels Heard She Will Stop Nagging
When a woman nags her guy, she will rarely come out and say what is actually bothering her. So, rather than say, “I’m tired of being in charge and I need you to step up and man up,” she’ll say things like, “Why can’t you ever make a decision” or “I’m tired of telling you to put your stuff away / take out the garbage / pay the bills” etc.
If you’re going to stop saying, “My girlfriend nags me all the time,” you’re going to have to improve your understanding of women. You need to understand what your girlfriend’s body language, actions and behavior is really saying. You need to “decipher” her nagging so that you can figure out what is really bothering her.
Once you know what is causing her to be a nag, you need to take action and fix those things in yourself. I’m not saying you have to become someone you’re not, but rather a better, more complete version of who you are right now.
When your girlfriend feels understood, she will naturally relax and open up to the idea of being your woman, because she can fully rely on you to be her man. She won’t feel the need to nag you anymore because she’ll be feeling the way she really wants to feel when she’s with you.