If your girlfriend thinks that you and her have grown apart, it can mean that:
1. She feels as though she’s now a lot more mature than you are, or that you are now much too mature and sensible for her.
2. She no longer feels attracted to you in the ways that she once did because she’s grown out of that type of relationship (e.g. a cute, puppy love type of relationship).
3. She is rising through the levels of life and reaching for her true potential, but you’re not reaching to achieve much at all.
4. You don’t seem to fit in with her new friends and she feels like you’re dragging her down, or holding her back from becoming a cooler, more interesting person or living a cooler, more interesting lifestyle.
5. The relationship has become more of a friendship, rather than a traditional man and woman dynamic where you are clearly the man and she is your woman.
6. She no longer feels interested in having sex with you because you haven’t been able to deepen her respect and attraction for you over time.
There are many different reasons why a woman might say that you’ve grown apart. Which of the examples above fits your situation the best?
4 Words That No Guy Wants to Hear From His Girlfriend
Your girlfriend most likely began the conversation with you by saying these dreaded four words, “We need to talk.”
Hearing her say that probably made you feel sick to the pit of your stomach because, instinctively, most guys know that when a woman says that she needs “to talk” it’s probably not going to be good news.
Fast forward a short while later and you’ve now found yourself in the position where you’re saying, “My girlfriend thinks we’ve grown apart,” and wondering what you can do to fix the problem.
You might be feeling as though you’re about to losing someone who is really important to you and your sense of happiness and well-being life and wondering, “Is it over between her and I now?” or “Is there anything I can do to change things…or is it already too late?”
She’s Not Going to Tell You the Real Reason Why Her Feelings For You Have Changed
Few guys really understand what a woman means when she says, “I think we’ve grown apart” because it’s not a very detailed, clear explanation of the real problems between you and her.
Growing apart can mean a lot of different things, as I pointed out at the start of the article, but what it means to your girlfriend isn’t necessarily going to be something that she wants to openly share.
In most cases, when a guy directly asks his girlfriend to explain what she means, she’s just not going to tell him.
Instead, she will give a fairly vague answer like, “We’re just too busy in our lives right now,” or “We just aren’t spending the same time together like we used to.”
However, if you tell her you can change this, she’ll more than likely brush you off with another classic statement like, “Maybe we should just take some time apart and see how things go from there. I think we’ve lost track of what we really want from each other.”
This is her way of letting you down easy without actually having to get into the details of what is causing her to lose love and attraction for you. A woman will rarely come out and tell you that certain attitudes and behaviors have been turning her off.
Instead, she will start off by giving you hints by saying things like, “I think we’re drifting apart,” in the hopes that you’ll get the message, figure out the deeper problem and then take action to fix it.
Why don’t women just come out and say what the REAL problem is?
Essentially, they don’t want to have to lead you through the situation and feel like your mother or teacher.
Your girlfriend doesn’t want to have to teach you how to be a man, because this will put her in the position of power in the relationship, which will not only put the relationship dynamic out of sync between you and her, but she will also end up losing respect for you as her man, which will then make her begin to fall out of love with you.
The good news is that you can fix the problems between you and change how she feels about the relationship. You just have to make her feel the way she wants to feel in the relationship and her feelings for you will naturally begin to come back to life.
Watch this video (for guys who’ve already been dumped by their girlfriend and are looking to get her back) to understand the process that your girlfriend is currently going through.
If you let things slide and don’t take action to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, she will most-likely say, “We need to talk” again sometime soon. Yet, this time around, she may want to break off the relationship with you.
Understand What She Really Wants You to Change About Yourself
If you’re saying, “My girlfriend thinks we’ve grown apart,” you might not really know what she really wants you to change.
In your mind, the relationship seemed to have been going along fairly well until she said that you and her had grown apart. While you were feeling fine and were happy to continue on as is, she wasn’t feeling what she wants to experience in a relationship.
To get your girlfriend to feel attraction for you and fall back in love with you again, you need to discover the real reasons why she believes that you have grown apart. You then need to make the correct changes to your behavior, attitude, conversation style and the way you treat her.
Consider the following…
1. Have you been taking her for granted?
This is one of the main reasons why a woman will stop feeling the way that she wants to feel in a relationship.
Certain behaviors (e.g. failing to take a genuine interest in the efforts she makes to look good for you, or not appreciating the nice things that she does for you, etc) can lead to her feeling unappreciated and under-valued.
Some guys feel as though once they get a girl as their girlfriend, she will stick around for life because the sex was great in the beginning, they both fell in love and they’ve shared a lot of good times together.
Yet, that’s not how it works in today’s world.
For a woman to want to stay in a relationship with a man for life, the man needs to be able to deepen the love, respect and attraction that she feels for him over time. He can just take her love for granted and expect that she will stick around because things felt good at the start.
Another common mistake that guys make in terms of taking their girlfriend for granted, is letting her down at the last minute after she has gone to a lot of trouble to cook a special dinner, or even just plan a quiet evening at home together.
Even though plans can and do change (and that is fine), if you cancel on her at the last minute repeatedly, she will naturally begin to feel unloved and she will start to feel as though you are “growing apart” and that she’s only there for your convenience.
2. Have you failed to move up the levels of life like a man?
In a relationship, a woman wants to be able to see that, if she sticks with you, life is going to get better, more interesting and more enjoyable over time.
She wants to see that you have big goals and ambitions that you’re working towards and that you have the confidence and drive to follow through and succeed, no matter what challenges life throws at you.
If a girlfriend feels as though her man is just sitting back and letting life pass him by, she will feel insecure in the relationship. She will begin to question her place in his life and she will wonder if they could have a great future together.
If a guy spends more time watching TV, hanging around in a dead-end job and generally drifting through life while his girlfriend is busy working her way up in the business world or improving herself through her studies, she’s going to feel as though they are growing apart.
She might put up with it for a while, especially in the early stages of a relationship where the sex is new and she still enjoys hanging out with the guy, but if it goes on for too long, she will begin to lose respect for him.
3. Have you stopped making her feel the way she wants to feel?
In the past, a woman had to stay with a man for life, even if she was unhappy. Women had to save their virginity for marriage, marry one man and stick to the vow of “Till death to us part.”
Today’s women can get up and leave if they aren’t happy. In case you haven’t noticed, there’s an approximate divorce rate of 50% across most of the developed world today, compared to less than 10% back in 1900.
In other words, you have to be able to deepen your girlfriend’s love, respect and attraction for you and take the relationship to the next level if you want it to last for life.
In a relationship, it’s the man’s responsibility to maintain and grow the attraction between himself and his woman. If he slacks off, her feelings for him will gradually diminish and she will begin to become open to partying with her single girlfriends again or flirting with guys to see what happens.
If you’ve slipped into a “comfort zone” with your girlfriend and aren’t really concerned with how she feels, then it will only be a matter of time before she pulls the plug on the relationship.
You can turn things around, but you have to be prepared to improve your ability to make her feel the type of attraction that she wants to feel in a relationship.
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction works…
As you will discover from the video above, you can actively reattract your girlfriend by beginning to display more of the personality traits and behaviors that women naturally find attractive about men.
You can also get her respect back by beginning to show her that you are rising through the levels of life and reaching for your true potential as a man and you are also paying more attention to her feelings and to making her feel loved, noticed and appreciated.
Love Doesn’t Die
Even though you are currently saying, “My girlfriend thinks we’ve grown apart,” and possibly feeling worried or depressed about the idea of potentially losing your girlfriend, you need to understand that love doesn’t just die.
Yes, it may feel like the love is dead right now and your girlfriend may even be saying, “I don’t feel the same way about you anymore,” but, what that really means is that she doesn’t feel like she used to feel in the beginning of your relationship.
It doesn’t mean that you can’t rekindle that love inside of her and make her love you the same way again. It also doesn’t mean that you can’t make the love stronger than it was before.
When you give her what she really needs, her feelings for you will naturally begin to change because she will be feeling the way she wants to feel.
Rather than looking at this situation as a bad thing, you can use it as an opportunity to not only make your girlfriend fall deeper and deeper in love with you, but also as a chance to fix any insecurities you may have and become a better, stronger and more complete man than you are right now.
You might be a great guy, but you can always do better. If your girlfriend feels as though you’re drifting apart, there’s no doubt that you can do a better job of being the man that she needs you to be.