If your girlfriend has told you that she likes another guy, it is either your fault or hers.
If it’s your fault, it means that you haven’t been doing enough to build on the attraction, respect and love that she feels for you. You may have been slowly destroying her feelings for (e.g. by being jealous, insecure, needy, etc) rather than building on her feelings.
If it’s her fault, it means that she is disloyal, untrustworthy or was only using you for a while because you were nice to her. She knew that she could control you in a relationship and secretly, she always intended to break up with you or cheat on you at some point and it has now gotten to that point.
So, what should you do if you’ve found yourself saying, “My girlfriend told me she likes another guy” and wondering what your next move is?
Should you put your hands up in defeat and watch her walk out of your life with the other guy, or should you fight to keep her?
If the fault rests with you, then you need to improve your ability to make her feel the type of respect, attraction and love that she needs to feel for you to justify staying with you.
If that is the case, then watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man really works…
As you will see in the video above, I compare two guys and explain why one of the guys will be seen as more attractive to women…even though the guys are identical twins.
If the blame rests with your girlfriend (i.e. she is disloyal, untrustworthy, was just using you for a while, etc), then you need to decide whether or not you’re going to keep putting up with her lack of respect towards you, or if you are going to dump her and move on.
If you were a guy who can easily attract other women, then you’d probably dump her and then begin hooking up with other women. However, if you know that it’s going to be difficult to find another hot girl like her, then you might try to hang on to her as long as possible, even though you know that she’s probably going to begin cheating on you soon.
What Caused Your Girlfriend to Fall For Another Guy?
Whether you feel comfortable to admit it or not, something happened (or stopped happening) in your relationship to cause your girlfriend to lose touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
Unless she is a habitual cheater or enjoys getting guys to love her and then dumping them, a woman doesn’t wake up one day and decide she’s suddenly interested in another guy and wants to leave her boyfriend.
For most women, this is something that happens over a period of time and mostly because she’s not getting what she needs from her boyfriend.
When a woman stops feeling the way she wants to feel, (i.e. valued, appreciated, attracted, loved, etc.), she will naturally start to feel unhappy in the relationship.
During that time, if she meets a guy who is charming, confident, masculine and interesting and who fills the gaps that she is missing in her relationship with her boyfriend, she will naturally open herself up to feeling attraction for him.
If she is a loyal, trustworthy woman and really wants to stay faithful to her boyfriend, she might try to fight her feelings of attraction for a while, but it won’t be easy if she has lost touch with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for her boyfriend.
This is why, if you’re saying, “My girlfriend told me she likes another guy,” the first question you have to ask yourself is, “What is this guy giving her that I’m not?”
If you dig deeper, you are likely going to discover that your girlfriend likes this other guy because he is filling the gaps you have been leaving open in your relationship with her.
For example: If you have been taking your girlfriend for granted by failing to notice and appreciate the efforts she makes to look good for you, or if you’ve been canceling dates with her on short notice and putting her in second (third or fourth) priority to your work, friends or family, it’s only natural she will feel that she’s not very important to you.
A woman definitely appreciates it when a man works hard to achieve his goals and maintain great relationships with friends and family, but not if he goes too far and takes her love, respect, attraction and commitment for granted.
After all, she is a human being and needs to feel loved, wanted, appreciated and desired too. She might be able to put up with being ignored for a while, but if it goes on for too long and happens too often, she will begin to feel restless.
Then, when she meets another guy who is much more attentive, interested and available, she will begin to like him because he is giving her what she is not getting from you and is making her feel the way she wants to feel.
Another thing that this other might be offering her that you are not is confidence and emotional maturity. For example: If you are being needy, clingy and insecure around her and he is being confident and emotionally strong, she’s going to feel a natural attraction for him compared to you.
Why? Women are naturally attracted to the emotional strength in men and turned off by the weakness. A girlfriend will often put up with her boyfriend going through a tough time emotionally, but if he doesn’t pick himself and use the experience as a lesson to become an even stronger man than before, she will lose respect for him.
Women want to be with the sort of guy who can take life’s challenges in his stride and keep growing and becoming stronger every day, week, month and year of his life.
If your girlfriend now likes another guy, he might be a more mature guy than you in that sense. He might be a guy who is rising through the levels of life by reaching for his true potential as a man.
On the other hand, maybe you are the kind of guy who has been using your relationship as an excuse to hide from your true potential in life. Instead of facing your fears like a man, you choose to “hide” away from life by watching TV, checking social media, playing computer games and hanging around your girlfriend all the time.
If that’s the case, then a guy who is more ambitious than you is going to be more appealing to her. She may feel like if she gets with him, she will be happier and he will lead both himself and her to a better life together.
The good news is that, given enough time, chances are very high that your girlfriend will realize that this guy is only filling in the gaps that are missing with you and her attraction for him will end.
If you do let her go or if she does leave you to be with him, he will most likely be a “rebound boyfriend.” 65% of rebound relationships fail within 6 months because the woman realizes that while the new guy certainly filled some emotional gaps, he doesn’t have everything that she is looking for.
However, you don’t sit around waiting for her to hook up with him and then break up with him. If you want to keep her as your girlfriend, you need to begin focusing on improving your ability to deepen her love, respect and attraction for you.
If you’re going to get her to see you as her ideal man, you have to show her that no matter where she looks, other guys pale in comparison to you. You can only really do that by:
Fixing the gaps that exist in your relationship with her (e.g. things like being needy or insecure, being unable to make her feel like a real woman, being unable to commit fully to the relationship, etc.)
Being the kind of man that she really needs you to be.
Showing her that you’re a better man and that no other guy (not even the guy she likes right now) can make her feel the way that you can.
Mistakes to Avoid
If your girlfriend has told you that she likes another guy, it’s completely understandable if you feel hurt by that.
However, rather than losing control of your emotions and saying or doing something that you will regret later on, you need to stay strong and do what it takes to make her feel the type of love, respect and attraction that she will need to feel to justify staying with you.
Here are 3 classic mistakes to avoid making in this situation…
1. Trying to compete with the other guy.
Trying to compete with the other guy in any way (e.g. by badmouthing him, showing off that you have a better car/job/bank account to him, etc), is only going to make you look like a petty, immature and childish sore loser in this situation.
Here’s the thing…
Your girlfriend is already comparing you to him subconsciously (and even consciously) and by trying to compete with him, she will actually see him as the better man.
She will see that you feel insecure about your attractiveness, value and worthiness compared to him. What she actually needs to see to feel respect and attraction for you, is to see that you’re not threatened by the idea of her liking another guy.
Now, that’s not to say that you need to show her that you don’t care. You do need to care, but just don’t be insecure and threatened by it. If you do become insecure, the other guy will automatically seem more attractive than you if he has been thinking, behaving and acting confident around her.
Rather than try to convince her you’re better than him, have the mindset that you already ARE better than him. If you believe in your attractiveness to your girlfriend and to other women, then your actions, conversation style and body language will come across in an attractive way.
Your girlfriend will notice that, regardless of what she says about liking another guy, you still believe that you’re much more attractive and appealing than he is and you don’t even need to try to prove it to her…you just know and she can see it in your body language, feel it in your vibe and see it in your actions.
When your girlfriend sees this, she will naturally feel attracted to you because women are instinctively drawn to strong, masculine men who believe in themselves no matter what life or anyone else throws at them.
2. Trying to make her jealous by talking about other women who like you
Tit for tat (an eye for an eye) might seem like a good idea, but unless you’re actually able to begin dating and having sex with new women right away, your girlfriend will see right through any attempts that you make to cause her to feel jealous.
3. Promising her that you will change if she gives you another chance to prove yourself
A woman will often give her boyfriend a few chances to improve or change before she makes the decision to break up with him, especially if she still has hope for the relationship.
However, if he never seems to change and ends up making her feel the same way after she has given him yet another chance, she will switch off her feelings for him and open herself up to other guys.
This is why making promises and telling her you that you change is not going to make her suddenly see you as a better option than the other guy. After all, if she has given you chances before and you still haven’t worked out how to be the sort of guy she needs you to be, how can she be sure that you will get it right this time?
If you want your girlfriend to take you seriously and feel committed to making the relationship with you work, then you are going to have to the fill the gaps that are causing her to feel attraction for the other guy, and show her that she matters enough for you to change.
If you aren’t willing to fix any emotional issues that you have (e.g. insecurity, neediness, jealousy, etc) and improve yourself, she will feel as though you aren’t taking how she feels seriously.
It’s up to you to show her that not only do you value yourself, but you also value her and the relationship. You can show her that by actually changing, rather than promising to change.
Make Her Feel Lucky to Have You
You can sit around all day saying, “My girlfriend told me she likes another guy” and feeling like you’ve already lost her, or you can take control of the situation and turn it around and make your girlfriend not only feel respect, attraction and love for you again, but also make her feel that she’s lucky to have you and that she’d lose if she ever let you go.
Then it will be your decision if you want to stay in a relationship with her, or if you would rather break up with her and find yourself another woman.