The reasons why women decide to have an affair are complex and many.
I could literally list more than 50 subtle reasons, but for the purposes of this article, I’m going to focus on the very obvious ones.
1. A Lack of Love, Respect and Attraction
It doesn’t matter if a relationship felt amazing at the start, or even if a woman said “till death do us part,” if the love, respect and attraction has faded away, she may begin to stray.
100 years ago, a woman had to stay with a man for life even if she was unhappy. It was shameful to get divorced and back in 1910 for example, the divorce rate in most of the developed world was less than 10%. These days, it’s usually around 50% for most developed countries.
In today’s world, a man has to know how to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for him over time, rather than expecting that his wife will stick around because they’ve “tied the knot.”
These days, a relationship is only as strong as the love, respect and attraction that flows through it. If you allow your marriage to turn into a sexless friendship, you can’t expect your wife to want to stick around for life.
2. Arguments That Don’t Lead to Change
When arguments are frequent and a day rarely passes without some degree of emotional upset in your relationship, a woman is going to start thinking of why she puts up with it.
Women of past generations had to put up with it and try to work through it, even if the husband responded badly and his behavior got worse as a result. These days, if a woman isn’t happy in her relationship or marriage, it has become somewhat socially acceptable for a woman to leave, or worse, have an affair behind his back.
Things are not always going to run smoothly in a relationship every hour and every day, but couples in successful relationships get through rough patches by facing problems and looking for ways to fix them, not running away and hiding from them.
One of the quickest ways to stop all the arguing in a relationship is to realize that neither you or your wife are perfect. No one is perfect.
Both you and her are going to make communication and behavioral mistakes around each other. However, for the sake of the love and your commitment together, you are going to always try your best to learn from your mistakes so you can be better for each other and have a more harmonious relationship.
When you and her have that understanding, you then don’t have be so serious about any miscommunications or behavioral slip ups. You can both be more patient with each other and allow each other to grow and improve in a more relaxed manner.
When you see that you both have each other’s back, you then feel more inclined to want to change, improve and grow to make the relationship even better than it is. However, if you’re always arguing and trying to pick each other apart, there won’t be much motivation to want to change for the happiness of the other person.
3. She No Longer Feels Sexy Around You
There are desperate men out there who actively prey on married women and women in long term relationships. They live by the old old saying, “Show me a beautiful woman in a long-term relationship and I’ll show you a man who is bored of having sex with her.”
Their approach to women like that is to give them lots of compliments, make them feel beautiful and slowly lure them into having an affair. Guys like that can rarely, if ever, pick up women who aren’t in need of a self-esteem boost, so they spend a lot of time and energy trying to convert a married woman into a lover.
To protect your relationship against men like that, you need to ensure that your woman feels sexy around you. You’ve got to look at her like she is the most sexiest woman on Earth in your eyes. Let her feel it in the way that you look at her, touch her and love her.
Most men are perfectly capable of making a woman feel sexy during the initial part of a relationship when there is plenty of romance and natural lust. Yet, after a while, they simply take the woman’s love and devotion for granted.
4. She’s a Woman of Bad Character
It’s not always the man’s fault.
Sometimes, a man ends up with a woman who is simply a bad person. She’s untrustworthy, disloyal and unloving. Maybe that is because of the scars she still wears after a horrible upbringing, or because she is the sort of person who likes to do bad things and hurt people.
The last serious relationship that I was in before meeting my wife was with a girl who actually enjoyed lying. I didn’t know that initially (because she was a good liar), but after a while, I realized that she wasn’t someone who I could trust.
After she told me a big lie about a year into our relationship, I dumped her right away. It wasn’t easy to dump her because she was a very sexy girl and we really enjoyed each other’s company, but it had to be done.
Despite her pleas that went on for weeks, I was able to go through with the break up because I knew that I could find a better woman than her. Had I not done that, I’d probably be a single dad right now, paying her child support and having to listen to more lies from her.
What I eventually realized is that if you’re going to marry a woman, she can’t only be beautiful with a great personality. She also has to be a woman of great character.
When I saw wife walk into the nightclub where I met her, I said to my friend, “Now THAT is what I’m talking about.” She was sexy and when I met her, she had a beautiful, adorable, confident personality.
Yet, I wasn’t completely sold.
It took me two years of being with her until I finally accepted her marriage proposal. Yes, she asked me to marry her. Why? Well, what I teach here at The Modern Man is how to be the sort of man that women desperately want to be with and then stay with for life, so it’s just a case of me talking the talk and walking the walk.
The moral of the story?
If your wife has cheated on you by having an affair, it’s not always your fault. I was such a great boyfriend to my ex-girlfriend, but nothing that I could have done would have ever stopped her from being the dishonest person that she was.
There is no doubt in my mind that she would have ended up cheating on me or having an affair at some point, because she was the sort of girl who enjoyed being naughty and lying about things.
5. You’re Not Being Enough of a Man For Her
I’ve been helping guys to get women back for years now and the most common reason I’ve seen for break ups is where the woman feels like her guy isn’t enough of a man for her.
This can mean that he is:
- Emotionally insecure.
- Lacing in ambition and life purpose.
- Not masculine enough in his thinking, behavior, actions and energy.
- Unable to make her feel like a real woman.
Unfortunately, most guys don’t ever get taught what it means to be a real man. Some guys are lucky to grow up with a father or male role model who can teach them how to be the sort of man that a woman will cherish and stick by for life, but most aren’t.
Most guys (including myself) enter adulthood and are still left wondering what women really want. Most guys end up getting lucky with a woman that they’re not truly compatible with and then trying to make it work, rather than actually knowing how to attract women so they can have their choice of women and choose the right one for them.