A lot of guys think that because them and their ex girlfriend (or wife or fiancé) used to have really great sex, if they can get her back in bed and she experiences the old sexual “magic” between them, then she will want to get back together again.
This might work for a short while if the woman isn’t very experienced with relationships, or if she can’t get herself another guy and wants to enjoy having sex until she does.
However, this will rarely last if he hasn’t really made any effort to change anything about himself. Basically, make up sex with your ex will only work if you’ve paved the way first by going through 2 simple steps that you can do right NOW to get her back!
1. Understand What Really Caused Her to Break Up With You
Watch this video by Dan Bacon (founder of The Modern Man and creator of Get Your Ex Back: Super System) to understand the process that your ex went through before breaking up with you…
A woman never wakes up one day and thinks to herself, “Hmmm, today looks like the perfect day to break up with my boyfriend (or fiancé, husband).”
For her to reach the point of breaking up, she goes through a long process of preparation. Over a period of time she will begin to give her man signals that she’s no longer happy in the relationship. However, she will rarely say what’s really bothering her.
For example: If she feels that her guy is neglecting her, instead of just saying, “You’re neglecting me,” she will say things like, “You’re always so busy with your work,” or “You’d rather spend time with your friends than with me.”
If her man doesn’t realize that what she’s actually telling him is, “If you don’t shape up I’m going to dump you,” she will then start to pull away from him emotionally. Gradually she will close herself off from him as she begins to lose attraction, love and respect for him.
In the meantime she will open herself to meeting and hooking up with another man who will give her what she really needs.
To get your ex back permanently, you need to discover the real reasons why she broke up with you and then make the necessary changes to your behavior or your treatment of her. A good way to figure out what caused her to break up with you is to ask yourself some of the following questions:
- Did you neglect her? Did you spend more time with friends / at work / playing video games / doing things by yourself?
- Did you take her for granted? Did you stop noticing her? Did you stop complimenting her and making her feel feminine and attractive?
- Did you become clingy and possessive? Did you smother her? Did you stop living your own life and did you use your relationship to hide from life?
- Were you unable to control your feelings of jealousy in the relationship?
- Did you have goals and plans for the future? Were you rising through the levels of life and reaching for your true potential?
- Did you continue to create attraction between you?
- Did you use sex as a way of solving your problems or to avoid facing the bigger issues in your relationship?
By your answers you will know what you have to change. You see, if you don’t know what really caused her to break up with you, when you talk to her again, you will most likely be offering the wrong things.
Even if she still has really strong feelings for you and in her mind thinks, “Maybe he’s changed, maybe I can give him one more chance,” after the initial thrill of make up sex, she will realize that you’re not offering her what she really wants and that you don’t really understand her.
When she realizes that, she will break up with you again and remain broken up with you until you get it right, or until she meets another guy and completely moves on from you.
2. Change the Things That Caused Her to Break Up With You and Improve Yourself
A common mistake that guys make after a break up is when he gets in touch with his ex hoping to get her back, he starts telling things like, “I’m so sorry. Let’s get back together and I promise to change,” or, “Just tell me what you want and this time I’ll be different.”
You can’t say to her that you WILL change or this time will be different. You actually have to already know what to change and then you have to make the changes.
Remember: Changing is not something that has to take months or years, it’s simply a matter of overcoming your issues and having an attitude adjustment about doing the things that make her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with you (Dan explains how to do all that in his proven to work program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System).
When you’re ready you can let her see you’ve changed when you meet her in person (or via your online presence on social media sites that you’re both using). If you’ve done things right, she will be the one making all the moves towards you and asking you to get back together again.
At this point, make up sex with your ex is exactly what should happen to re-establish the connection between you and make her even keener to get back together with you.
Give Her the Type of Sex That Will Completely Change Her Mind About the Break Up
Make up sex with your ex is what you do when all the issues from the past have been resolved. Why? In many relationships, a couple will use sex as a way to “make up” after a big fight.
Since they are really great in bed together, sex becomes a way of avoiding facing the real issues in the relationship. Also, make up sex is always fiery and exciting, so the fighting becomes a lure of its own just to get to experience the intensity of great sex.
In some cases, after a fight is the only time a couple has a great connection in bed. When this is the case it’s because the relationship is not really solid. However, if you show your ex that you’ve actually addressed her concerns and have taken steps to fix your issues, she will become intensely attracted to you again and she will want to connect with you sexually.
Do you now realize why make up sex with your ex is more than just about the sex? Basically, when getting an ex back, you need to understand the process a woman goes through before she will fully commit to getting back into a relationship with you.
By believing in yourself and by going through the process of becoming a better man, you are almost guaranteed to get another chance with her. The key is to go through the steps correctly so that she will want to stick around this time.
Make up sex can definitely have a great effect on how she feels about you, but you also must ensure that you are attracting her outside of the bedroom as well.
You need to make sure that whatever you are saying and doing outside of the bedroom is triggering her feelings of sexual attraction and respect for you…
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