The answer to the question of, “Is it okay to let your girlfriend go clubbing?” is that it depends.
It depends on what type of woman she is, how good your relationship is and who she will going to the club with.
Times when it’s okay for her to go clubbing without you:
- She truly loves you and is sincerely and fully committed to your relationship.
- She is going to a club with her girlfriends who are in committed relationships or married.
- She has to go for a work function or event and she isn’t allowed to invite people from outside the company.
Times when it’s not okay for your girlfriend to go clubbing without you:
- She doesn’t feel much respect, attraction or love for you and isn’t fully committed to the relationship.
- She’s going out to a club with her single girlfriends to get drunk and dance all night.
- She’s going with a guy or a number of guys, some of which will feel attracted to her and hit on her.
- She isn’t coming home that night and will be staying at a girlfriend’s house.
- She has cheated on you before.
- She often flirts with other guys in front of you.
Why Does She Want to Go Out Partying Without You?
The fact is, when a woman is happy in her relationship and is truly committed to her man, she won’t feel the need to go out clubbing without him.
Sometimes, she might want to catch up with her girlfriends by herself, which is totally fine, but if her girlfriends are single and going to be trying to pick up men, then there’s no need for your girlfriend to be there.
If her girlfriends want to go to a club and party, her number one prerequisite should be that you come along too. If she loves you, respects you and feels attracted to you, then she’s going to want to have you around all the time. She is going to feel better with you there because you are her man and she wants to have fun times with you.
Personally speaking, my wife (I recently got married to my sexy girlfriend that I met in a nightclub when she was 20 and I was 35 – see photo below) would laugh at the idea of going out partying without me.
She knows that without me there, guys would be trying to hit on her and she doesn’t want to be annoyed by that. She also doesn’t need guys to make her feel sexy, wanted or loved because she already feels that way with me.
Her and I have the type of relationship that most people dream of having. We’re completely in love, we respect each other, we are attracted to each other and we’re also best friends.
Yet, things weren’t always so good for me with women.
The reason why I created The Modern Man in the first place, is that many years ago, the girl who I thought was “the love of my life,” went out clubbing with her sister and a girlfriend, cheated on me and then dumped over the phone the next morning.
I was destroyed…for many years.
I lost a lot of confidence in myself and spent several years alone after she did that to me. I couldn’t believe what had happened. It completely turned me off having any other relationships with women because I felt betrayed.
The fear of being cheated on and dumped again felt worse than being alone, so I avoided women that I found attractive. Secretly, I didn’t think that I was worthy enough to keep an attractive woman in a relationship.
Eventually though, I got tired of feeling like a reject, so I decided to work out how to attract women when I met them, so I could have my choice with women rather than getting lucky like I had with the girl who dumped me.
Back when I met my ex-girlfriend, I didn’t even know how to attract women and I simply got lucky because both of us were drunk at a party. Yet, after the initial buzz wore off, she showed less and less affection and interest, which then caused me to become needy, clingy and insecure.
I also had no idea how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for me and I simply expected that she would stay with me because things felt good at the start.
Yet, that’s not how it works anymore.
In the past, a woman had to stay with a man for life even if she was unhappy because it was shameful to get divorced. In 1900 for example, the divorce rate was less than 10% across the developed world, compared with an approximate average of 50% in the developed world today.
In the old days, a woman had to put up with her husband and he could even get away with controlling her and being an asshole if wanted to. She knew that getting divorce would bring shame to her and her family, so she sucked it up and stuck by the old marital promise, “Till death do us part.”
Today’s women have the freedom to do whatever they want. They can sleep with guys that they meet a bar, get in and out of relationships whenever they want and settle down if they decide to.
They don’t have to get married and they don’t have to stay loyal to a guy, unless they feel like it.
The only way that a man can keep a relationship with a woman together for life is to deepen her feelings of love, respect and attraction over time. You cannot expect that a woman will stick around just because things felt good at the start.
Even if your girlfriend sincerely says, “I love you” and you have a history of good memories together, it doesn’t mean that she will stick by you if her feelings happen to change.
As bad as this sounds, the truth is that she isn’t yours and you don’t own her. She is an individual and she has the freedom to choose who she wants to be in a relationship with. In today’s world, she’s not yours for life, even if she’s your wife.
To keep a relationship together, you have to be the sort of man that she wants to stay with. It doesn’t matter that things felt great at the start or that you’re a good guy who really loves her.
What matters is whether or not she feels enough love, respect and attraction for you to warrant staying with you.
The couples that you see who are 30-40 years into a relationship and still madly in love is what is possible when you approach your relationship correctly. The only way to get to that point though is to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time.
You have to be a couple that love and respect each other and want to be in each other’s life. You can’t just ignore what makes her happy or be unwilling to compromise and go out and join her to party for a while.
Why Don’t You Go Out With Her?
Do you hate clubbing? Are you not interested in building up a relationship with her friends? Do you dislike her friends? Are you too busy to party? Do you hate the loud noise or the crowds?
Whatever your reason is, it’s most-likely not going to be good enough for her. If she really enjoys partying and you hate it, then it’s usually only a matter of time before things start to fall apart or she simply cheats and then breaks up with you.
Over the years, I’ve helped a lot of guys to get a girlfriend back. A fairly common reason for a break up (especially with younger guys) is that he meets a girl who enjoys partying, but he doesn’t go out with her because he hates clubbing or drinking.
Instead of having a good time and getting to know her party friends, a guy like this will often stay home and expect that she will just keep coming around to see him. He might also demand that she stop partying and start being more responsible like him.
After a while, the woman begins to feels as though they’re no longer a match because he doesn’t appreciate the type of life that she really enjoys. She starts to wonder why she is with him at all and then either cheats on him or breaks off the relationship and then hooks up with a guy at a club that weekend.
To avoid that happening with your girlfriend, here is what you need to do…
Go out partying with her all the time. Yes, all the time. Let her be the one to say that she is getting bored of clubbing and wants to spend more time with you. Don’t be the needy guy who tries to pull her away from what she enjoys because you want her to give her full attention to you.
Be the confident, cool guy who loves and appreciates who she is and what she cares about. Build up a relationship with her friends, get drunk and party together often.
This will make her love you, respect you and appreciate you so much more. When that happens, she will automatically feel less desire to party and more desire to start building a future together as a couple.
Yet, just make sure that you allow her to get to that point. Don’t force her away from partying because it will only make her resent you. If you are serious about your girlfriend and you want to the relationship to last, make sure that you love and appreciate who she is.
Get involved in her life and enjoy it together until she begins to feel the desire to spend more time doing boyfriend/girlfriend things and hanging out together with other friends who are relationships.
Will Your Girlfriend Be Drinking at the Club?
Did you know?
- Alcohol increases testosterone in the body which in turn increases libido in women.
- Alcohol increases sexual desire and arousal.
- Alcohol leads to a loss of sexual inhibition.
If your girlfriend does have a few drinks, she will naturally become more open to the idea of talking to random guys. She might even flirt with a few guys and talk to them, but if she is truly committed to you and wants to be in a relationship with you, she will reject any attempts that guys make to kiss her or get her phone number.
However, if there are problems in your relationship and she goes out with her single girlfriends to let her hair down, she may decide to drink a few too many drinks and then end up kissing a random guy just for the fun of it.
Is There a Serious, Fundamental Problem With Your Relationship?
Take a moment to ask yourself some serious questions about your relationship:
- Are you giving her what she needs? Do you actually know what she needs to feel happy with you?
- Does she feel excited to be with you?
- Have you lost the spark that was there at the start?
- Does she seem to enjoy getting flirting/sexual attention from other guys?
- Why is she looking for excitement away from you?
- Is she loyal and trustworthy?
- Is a third party trying to split the two of you up?
- Does she see you as a man that she respects and wants to stay with, or is she just staying with you until she can find a replacement guy?
If you’ve found yourself asking the question, “Is it okay to let your girlfriend go clubbing?” what you should start asking yourself is, “How can I be the type of man that my girlfriend would rather stay home with?”