It has been fairly-well established that human beings are weird.
We may be the brainiest species that walks the Earth, but we also never seem to fail at baffling each other with our unusual behaviors.
Now, with a platform such as Facebook, every little quirk becomes a public spectacle for all to savor.
Since The Modern Man is all about men in the modern world, I’ve put together an article outlining 7 weird behaviors you’re almost sure to see from your male Facebook friends.
If you’re looking to impress women on Facebook, don’t be like these guys:
1. The ‘I Take Lonely Photos of Myself’ Guy
There’s probably no faster way to say to everyone, “Hey, I’m lonely and don’t have any friends in the real world!” than holding your camera out in front of you with an outstretched arm and taking photos of yourself alone at home.
Likewise, when a guy is out in public situations and routinely holds out the camera to take a photo of him and his girlfriend, it can say a lot about his social confidence. Other women are thinking things like, “Does he not have the balls or basic social skills to ask someone nearby to take a photo for him and his girl?”
When posting things to your Facebook, remember that it is similar to a real-life social interaction: You are being judged, your social status is being affected by your actions and your true personality is being picked up on by those around you.
2. The ‘I Like What I Just Did’ Guy
This is the guy who spends hours scouring the web for inspirational quotes or quirky one-liners to put on his Facebook page.
He often clicks the ‘Like this’ button whenever he publishes a new Facebook status and does the same for articles and video clips he posts to his Facebook wall. This is narcissism at its best and usually comes from guys who laugh at their own jokes in person, or desperately crave to be praised by others.
Women pick up on this weakness. Remember: You are cool when other people say you are cool, not when you say you are.
3. The ‘Look at My Girlfriend’ Guy
Posting a picture of you and your girlfriend is absolutely fine. In fact, when done right – it will help increase your social status, make other women want you and make guys show you more respect on Facebook and in person.
However, some guys get it all wrong and publish a photo album comprising entirely of random snapshots of their girlfriend. Candid photos, mug shots and sometimes blurred imagery (that really should have been deleted from the camera!) make up the album.
The best solution for guys who want to show off their hot girlfriend: Post up photos of you and your girlfriend doing interesting things together.
Remember: The audience for your photos is your Facebook Friends and they want to look at the interesting things that YOU have seen or experienced in your life, not just snapshots of your girlfriend who they probably have never met or will never meet.
4. The ‘Pity Me’ Guy
This is the residential “Look at me – My life is so pitiful” friend you have on your Facebook list. He makes status updates like, “I have ulcers on my lips. Now I can’t eat!” or “Why is my boss such a prick to me?”
He joins Facebook groups on a regular basis, hoping that he’ll come across some new people who will lavish some pity on him when he makes a post to the Group Wall. If you ever try to tell him to suck it up, get a grip and be a man – you’ll give him exactly what he wants: Pity and attention.
Women smell this weakness a mile away and it turns them off at a fundamental level.
The guy is essential behaving like a girl by seeking for pity for random things (girls do this as emotional reaction to their lives, instead of reacting logically and trying to look for solutions. Men are expected to be logical, in control and seek solutions to their problems instead of be emotional like a girl).
5. The ‘Insta-Reply’ Guy
This is the guy who instantly replies to his own posts, before anyone has a chance to even look at them. This is perceived as the guy being insecure, lonely and in dire need of some attention, which is obviously not cool.
Greg Lawrence is going to mow his lawn in the sweltering heat. 10 seconds ago.
Greg Lawrence Likes This. 5 seconds ago.
Greg Lawrence: I hope I can survive the heat. 3 seconds ago.
This type of guy routinely updates his Facebook page and yaks about his day. Not only are we subjected to his childish thoughts, but we also have to watch as he engages in a mindless conversation with himself. Last time I checked, talking to oneself is a classic symptom of a psychotic disorder. Simply wait until someone replies to your wall post before you comment on it.
6. The Guy Who Still ‘Pokes’
‘Poking’ and turning your friends into vampires were crazes when Facebook first started to become popular. Everyone started poking around and it was an accepted behavior. No one was spared.
People even ‘threw cows’ at their friends and the friends reciprocated the gesture by ‘choke slamming’. People then made nice by serenading each other with a virtual song while sitting under the moonlight. But guess what? Poking on Facebook is no longer cool.
What is cool now? Being friendly with people, commenting on someone’s photo album when no-one else does, posting up cool photos of stuff you’ve done, cracking some jokes……..and most of all – not using Facebook TOO MUCH. If you want to be seen as a man, don’t post everyday like a girl. instead, be active (comment on other people’s stuff, post up something cool) on Facebook once or twice a week.
7. The ‘Overzealous Gamer’ Guy
No doubt, Facebook games have taken over the world in their own little way. In fact, many people log on to Facebook ONLY to indulge in games such as Mafia Wars, Café World, Farmville, Restaurant City and Bejeweled. Claiming the top spot has become a priority and obsession for some gamers.
They clock more hours playing these games than interacting with actual living friends.
Of course, how modern men choose to spend their own leisure time and working hours is entirely their choice, but it is pretty alarming how many guys are avoiding their desire to socialize and hook up with women to work on a virtual farm.