What is it about approaching women that scares men so much?
For many guys, the fear of what MIGHT go wrong is enough to stop them from walking up to a woman and starting a simple conversation. Having a quick chat with her and getting her phone number may lead to a sexual, loving relationship, but even though that is a likely outcome, it just seems so scary.
Well, for most of human history we lived in small villages and tribes. If you messed up, EVERYONE would know about it. Now, we live in a different world. If you mess up, no one cares! You are just another face in the crowd that they will forget 1-2 seconds later.
May modern men walk through life still feeling like if they approach a woman and it doesn’t work out, it will be the end of the world as they know it. Yet, it doesn’t even matter to anyone if you approach a woman and have sex with her, get rejected or get married. They just don’t care.
1. How to Approach Women
The best way to approach a woman is to use a natural, direct style.
There’s no need to put on an overly-confident act, try to extra funny or try to impress the woman. Women respect and feel attracted to guys who are confident enough to relax and be their true self, even if the woman is testing him by pretending not to be interested.
When you approach a woman, you need to allow her to experience your relax confidence and easy-going belief in yourself. Since women are mostly attracted to a guy’s confidence, the more of that you allow her to experience, the more she will be attracted to you.
Naturally, if you aren’t confident and instead force her to experience your nervousness or insecurity, then she will find it difficult to feel much attraction for you.
2. How I Overcame My Fear of Approaching Women
For years, I was afraid to approach women because I felt like I would be interrupting their day/night and they would get upset or annoyed at me. I didn’t feel like I have much to offer a woman, because I am just an ordinary guy.
I don’t look like the guys in the movies, I don’t have much money and I’m just an average height, so I figured that most women wouldn’t be that impressed by me.
Based on those insecurities, I steered clear of women because I assumed that they would simply reject me. Man, was I wrong! As I later discovered, women actually WANT you to approach them. When a man approaches a woman in a confident, easy-going way, it does two main POSITIVE things for her:
Increases her self-esteem: If a woman doesn’t get approached by guys, she starts to think she is ugly and that men just don’t like her.
Fact: Beautiful women usually only get approached by drunk or sleazy guys, which doesn’t count as a real approach in the woman’s mind. Women feel the luckiest when they get approached by a confident guy who is easy-going and who obviously believes in himself. In other words, a good guy alpha male.
Gives her another opportunity to find the perfect guy for her: Most women don’t approach women. It’s just not how things work in the dating scene. Sure, some women will approach a guy on certain occasions, but 99% of the time it up to us men to approach a woman and start the conversation.
So, don’t ever think you are doing a bad thing when you approach women. You are literally doing the woman a FAVOR by approaching.
3. What to Say When You Approach Women
My advice has been tested by me and the guys at The Modern Man, our 1,000s of clients (that we’ve coached in person or via phone coaching) and by our 1,000s of customers from all over the world.
You can rest assured that the approaching techniques you learn here at The Modern Man WILL work. You don’t have to learn from me in person – all of my programs are available here for you to watch, read or listen to right now.
For now, here’s one of my favorite conversation starters for approaching women in a bar environment, or at a party or social event of some sort. Simply approach a woman and say, “Hey, I thought I’d come over and be social and say hi – I’m Dan, what’s your name?”
As you can see, this is a natural, non-sleazy way to approach women. It also makes a woman WANT to talk to you. If she doesn’t respond to this conversation starter, she is being unsocial in a social environment – and nobody wants to be seen as one of those people.
Want to Learn More About How to Approach Women?
We have all of the answers to your questions about how to approach women. If you’d like to learn all of our tested techniques for success with women and dating, click and around and read some articles or watch some videos.