How can you get a stubborn ex-girlfriend or ex-wife back?
No matter what you’ve tried so far, she just won’t budge.
She won’t give you another chance.
You’ve tried telling her how you felt, you’ve tried telling her that you would change, you’ve tried all sorts of things and it’s just not working.
You can change how she feels and you can make her want you back.
The first tip is…
1. Stop chasing a relationship
Firstly, when I say stop chasing a relationship, I don’t mean give up or cut off contact for 30 or 60 days.
That isn’t going to help you.
What you need to do is stop chasing a relationship.
It’s about the vibe that you’re giving off.
It’s about the way that you’re coming across when you communicate with her.
What are the reasons why it comes down to a fundamental difference between men and women?
For example, imagine that you broke up with a girl and didn’t want to be with her anymore.
She then started begging and pleading and promising to do whatever you wanted to hopefully give her another chance.
She was willing to change and do whatever you want and be really good to you and treat you really nicely if you can just give her another chance.
Would you give her another chance?
Many guys watching this video would say yes.
Some guys will say no and say, “When I break up with the girl, that’s it. It’s final. I’m not going to get back with her.”
However, a lot of guys will say yes.
The reason why is that when a woman is begging and pleading and sucking up to a girl like that, it often empowers a man.
It makes him feel like, “Okay, cool. Now, I’m in charge. Now she’s going to be really good to me. I practically own this girl now. I can do whatever I want and she’s just going to put up with it.”
So, in many cases, a guy might feel attracted and might feel a bit turned on by the fact that his woman is begging and pleading and chasing a relationship with him.
He might enjoy that.
However, the same doesn’t apply for women when a guy is begging and pleading and chasing.
Some women will give a guy another chance if he’s begging, pleading and chasing, but most women feel completely turned off by it.
That’s a really big difference between men and women.
Whereas a man can feel turned on by how submissive and compliant his woman is now being because she’s begging and pleading and promising to do anything, a woman will feel repelled and turned off by how desperate and emotionally weak the guy is being.
What you need to understand is that the same fundamental rules apply whether you are picking up women in a relationship or trying to get your ex woman back.
For example, when picking up women, if a guy is trying too hard to impress a woman and be selected by her, she will reject him or play very hard to get.
On the other hand, when picking up women, if a guy believes in himself and makes the woman feel so attracted that she wants to be selected by him, then she will open up and make it much easier for him to hook up with her.
In a relationship, if a guy is trying too hard to impress his woman because he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for her, she will lose respect for him, begin to treat him badly, stop being as affectionate and lose interest in the relationship.
On the other hand, in a relationship, if a man believes in himself and builds on the woman’s feelings of respect, attraction and love, then she will try hard to impress him and maintain his interest while being a loving, affectionate and caring woman.
Now, when it comes to getting an ex back, the same fundamental rules apply.
If a guy is trying too hard to convince his ex woman to give him another chance and he’s sucking up to her, she will reject him, be stubborn about her decision to remain broken up or play very hard to get.
On the other hand, when getting an ex back, if a guy believes in himself and makes her feel so attracted to him again that she feels like it would be her loss if she didn’t get back with him, then she stops being so stubborn, opens back up and gives him another chance.
Women don’t behave in that way because they’re crazy or because they want to make your life difficult.
Women are simply reacting to their natural instincts.
It’s a woman’s natural instinct to want to reward confidence and self-belief in a man with sex, love and devotion.
A woman’s natural instinct is to not reward insecurity, self-doubt and desperation with sex, love and devotion.
This is why guys get rejected when they’re trying too hard to pick up women, it’s why women lose respect and attraction in a relationship and it’s why so many guys struggle to get their ex woman back.
Essentially, when a man puts the power in a woman’s hands and he’s hoping to be selected by her, he will almost always be rejected, dumped or left behind.
As I said, women don’t behave in that way because they’re crazy or they want to make your life difficult.
It’s simply a woman’s natural instinct to not reward insecurity, self-doubt and desperation in a man with her sex, love and devotion.
So, when it comes to getting an ex back, if a guy is chasing a relationship with a woman and begging and pleading and pouring his heart out to her and telling her how much she means to him and promising that he would change and do whatever she wants, then he’s less likely to get her back.
She’s going to be stubborn about her decision because she’s going to feel turned off by him.
She won’t be able to respect him because he’s being so desperate and as a result, she won’t be able to feel attracted to him.
So, what should the guy do instead?
Well, rather than chasing a relationship, a guy needs to believe in himself.
He needs to believe that he is worthy of her.
As a result, he will then start to behave in a more naturally attractive way to her.
He will be confident, he will have the balls to joke around with her, to mess with her, to flirt with her and to move in for a kiss if they’re talking in person.
Essentially, rather than chasing and putting that pressure on her, you need to attract her so she feels drawn to you and she naturally comes back to you.
2. Rapidly change and improve while giving her space
A common mistake the guys make is that they cut off contact with their ex-girlfriend or ex-wife and hope that it works.
A guy hopes that if he just cuts off contact and doesn’t do anything, she’s going to miss him and she’s going to want him back.
What happens in some cases is that when a guy cuts off contact, his woman eventually contacts him, but because he hasn’t improved his ability to attract her, he turns her off again and then she goes cold and doesn’t want to talk to him anymore.
So, what you need to get clear on is that while you give your woman a bit of space, you need to rapidly improve your ability to attract her.
Some guys can do that within 3 days, some guys can do it within a week, some guys can do it within 2 weeks or 3 weeks.
Whatever the case is for you, that’s okay.
However, what I recommend is that you get it done quickly.
Don’t waste too much time.
Don’t cut off contact for a month or two and assume that you’re just going to sit around waiting for you to contact her and she’s not going to move on and fall in love with a new guy.
So many guys contact me and say, “I cut off contact with my ex woman for 30 days or 60 days and she moved on. What do I do now?”
When a guy is in a situation like that, he can still get her back by re-attracting her, but he’s just made it a little bit more difficult for himself.
What I recommend is that if you give your woman space, you rapidly improve your ability to attract her.
So, say for example, a guy turned his woman off in a relationship because he was too emotionally sensitive.
In that case, he needs to quickly improve his confidence, his emotional masculinity, his emotional toughness.
Another example, if a guy took his woman for granted and basically expected her to be nice to him and respect him, but he wasn’t giving the same back to her, then he needs to become a less emotionally selfish man.
So, rather than everything being about him and he’s got to get, he’s got to have, everyone has to give to him and he’s not giving anything, he has to become a little bit more loving and giving and care and listen to people.
Just generally give a crap about people and things rather than being so selfish.
He doesn’t have to go out there and save the world, feed the hungry or fly over to a poor country and save everyone.
He doesn’t have to do that.
Instead, he just has to change from within and start being a more loving, caring, giving person in a genuine way.
It has to be sincere and genuine rather than an act.
The reason why is that if you have ever been interacting with someone and they were faking that they cared about you, you are most likely able to tell.
Likewise, if you were interacting with someone and they genuinely cared about you, you most likely were able to tell.
The same applies with your woman.
If you got dumped because you were taking her for granted and were treating her badly and then try to act like you’re not going to be like that anymore or you’re not like that, she’s most likely going to be able to tell.
What you may have noticed in life is that how you think and feel on the inside comes out on the outside.
So, for example, if a person is very negative on the inside, you will notice that their words and their behavior and their actions are very negative.
If a person is very positive, the same rules apply.
So, if you got dumped because you were taking her for granted and you were treating her badly, then you really need to change on the inside.
When you change on the inside and you genuinely become a more loving and emotionally fair man, then it will come out and she will pick up on it.
You don’t have to try to convince her on it, she will pick up on it.
So, just a reminder, if you’re going to cut off contact and give her a little bit of space, make sure that you don’t sit around doing nothing during that time.
You need to rapidly improve your ability to attract her in the ways that actually matter to her.
So, whatever really turned her off, you need to fix, improve, adjust those areas of yourself.
You need to get ready to interact with her and make her feel attracted to you again.
3. Make her want you back by attracting her in new, more interesting ways
For example, be emotionally independent, be more ballsy with your humor or be emotionally masculine rather than being emotionally neutral or emotionally feminine.
Being emotionally independent is the opposite of being needy.
When a guy is needy, he needs a woman to show him love, affection and interest in order for him to feel okay about himself.
When a guy isn’t needy and he’s emotionally independent, he feels confident, happy and is forward-moving in life regardless of whether the woman is supporting him, showing him interest and making him feel good.
He feels good on his own.
That is very attractive to women because women don’t want to feel like they are responsible for your emotional state.
They don’t want to be stuck with a boy, for example, that they have to look after like a mother would look after a son or a big sister would look out for when it comes to her little brother.
What a woman wants to have in a man is a man who is happy, confident and forward-moving regardless of what she says or does.
The next example is be more ballsy with your humor and I have a couple of examples planned for later in the video, so I’ll leave that to them.
The final example is to be more emotionally masculine rather than being emotionally neutral or emotionally feminine.
A lot of guys end up being emotionally neutral in a relationship where there really isn’t much of a spark between him and his woman.
He essentially treats her more like a friend and he isn’t actively being the man in the relationship.
He’s just sort of can’t be bothered, everything is boring and plain and, “We’re used to each other and it’s just neutral now. I don’t really know what to do. Let’s just hang out. I love you, you know that.”
That sort of approach doesn’t create a spark between a man and a woman.
The other thing that I mentioned there was emotionally feminine.
Not every guy falls into this category, but some of the guys that I’ve helped over the years do fall into this category, where they’re essentially being a bit of a big baby.
The guy is sulking about things, being emotionally sensitive or being a bit too soft and the woman is able to dominate him in the relationship and push him around.
Of course, there are some women out there who find that attractive like dominatrix type of women and things, but those women are the minority.
The majority of women want an emotionally masculine man who they can look up to and respect.
So, if your ex is being stubborn, a very important tip is to make her want you back by attracting here in new, more interesting ways.
Don’t try to get her back by using the same old approach to attraction that got you dumped in the first place.
Maybe you were very interesting and attractive to her at the start of the relationship, but somewhere along the way, you lost your way and maybe you forgot really how to attract a woman.
Maybe you lost your ability to do that.
You used to be really good at it, but somewhere along the line, you lost your way.
Whatever the case is for you, what you need to understand is that she’s not going to feel motivated and excited to get back with you if you’re using the same old approach to attraction that got you dumped in the first place.
You really have to be willing to step up and approach attraction in new and more interesting ways so she feels excited and motivated to give you another chance.
4. Let her feel like she is in control
So, this is where you attract her, but you don’t push for a relationship.
She wants you again, but doesn’t feel like you are forcing her into a relationship.
She wants it and is going to give you a chance for her own reasons.
For example, she wants to explore the new feelings that she’s now experiencing around you.
She’s feeling drawn to you now and doesn’t want to regret it and have you be the one that got away before she had a chance to see what would happen.
This takes some composure on your part.
If your ex has been stubborn up to this point and hasn’t been willing to give you another chance, you might feel tempted to seem really excited and push for a relationship when she begins to show interest again.
Don’t do that.
Let her really want it.
Make her feel so attracted that she really wants the relationship again.
She feels as though if she doesn’t get back with you, it’s going to be her loss.
You can achieve that by focusing on attraction, but not pushing for a relationship.
If you suddenly switch gears and start pushing for a relationship and changing your vibe and how you’re behaving and she sees that you’re going back to how you were before, then her guard is most likely going to go up.
She’s going to realize that, “Yeah, okay…I thought we had something going there, but no, I’m feeling turned off again. I don’t want to be with him. This really isn’t that exciting to me.”
You’ve got to give her the gift of really feeling attracted to you and wanting you and wanting the relationship.
If you do that, she will then feel like she is in control.
She is the one deciding that you and her get back together.
Yet, in reality, you are in control of the process.
You are making her feel attracted, you’re making her feel drawn to you again and she’s coming right back to you.
5. Get her to treat you better
Many of the guys that I’ve helped to get a stubborn ex girlfriend or ex wife back, have been making the mistake of trying to treat her better and jump through all of her hoops.
Whatever she says, he’s willing to do it.
If she says, “Don’t text me at 7pm, only text me at 7:15pm,” he essentially says, “Yes, ma’am,” and does what he’s told.
Yet, no matter how much he listens to what she says and does whatever she tells him to do, it never seems to be enough.
There’s always something else.
She’s never fully impressed and he keeps trying and trying and trying and she loses respect for him.
She looks at him as that desperate guy who is trying hard to get a woman.
As you would know, the same fundamental principles apply in pickup, in relationships and ex back situations.
For example, generally speaking, women do not reward desperation and neediness and insecurity with sex, love and devotion.
What women want is a man who knows that he is good enough, a guy who believes in himself and as a result, is more naturally attractive to her.
He’s able to be confident, joke around, allow his natural charisma to come through, be charming, flirt with her and so on.
He’s able to do all those sort of things that naturally make a woman want a guy.
So, if your ex is being stubborn, an important it is to make her treat you better rather than trying to suck up to her and treat her as good as you can to hopefully get a chance with her.
Now, some guys watching this video might think, “Well, how does that apply to my situation because I got dumped for not treating her good enough? I’ve got to treat her better now, right?”
Yes, you can treat her well, but you’ve got to make her treat you better.
You can’t allow yourself to be in the one-down position and be treated badly by a woman.
It doesn’t get rewarded with sex, love and devotion.
You’ve got to get back into the one-up position.
So, if your ex is being unreasonable about things, you’ve got to be able to use some ballsy humor and put her back in her place in a dominant, but loving way.
Say for example that a guy is talking to his ex-girlfriend or wife on the phone and he’s trying to arrange a meet-up with her.
She says (in a snappy tone of voice), “Well, look. Fine, we’ll meet up, but we’re only meeting up for 10 minutes.”
He can then laugh at her and say, “Okay, Little Miss Demanding. Alright, well look…we’ll meet up for 10 minutes and then after that, we won’t speak to each other again.”
Then at the meet-up, he should focus on making her laugh and smile and enjoy herself.
When it gets to 10 minutes, he should say to her, “Alright. Well, your 10 minutes is up. Get out of here. We’re not speaking to each other anymore.”
She is most likely not going to want to get up and get out of there and leave.
However, some women are a bit more feisty than others and they will test your confidence.
If a guy says that to a woman, depending on the woman, she might say, “Fine,” and get up and walk out.
What he needs to do at that point is not panic.
She’s going to be feeling respect and attraction for him by having the balls to say that to her. Women who are that feisty only respect men who don’t put up with their BS.
Women only respect, feel attracted to and stay in love with men who don’t hand over their power to them, who don’t come running after them and say, “No, no, no. I was only joking. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please, please, come back.”
Women don’t want a wimpy guy like that.
A woman who has the guts to walk out in a situation like that doesn’t want a guy running after her in a wimpy way.
Of course, not all women are going to say, “Fine!” and walk out.
In most cases, the woman is just going to laugh it off, she’s going to know that she doesn’t want to leave and she’s going to continue talking to him.
So, if your ex is being stubborn, don’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re going to get her back by being even nicer to her, by being more polite, more understanding, more patient and more giving. What you need to do is regain your position of power in the relationship.
One of the ways that you can do that is by using ballsy humor, having the balls, having the guts, having the courage to joke around with her and not hand it to her, not suck up to her all the time, to put her back in her place in a dominant, but loving way.
When you do that, a woman naturally feels respect and attraction for you and her behavior starts to change.
She starts to look at you as a guy that deserves respect, that deserves to be treated well.
However, if you’re sucking up to her and trying to jump through all of her hoops to hopefully get a chance with her, then she’s not going to see you as a guy that deserves respect.
As a result, she’s going to be stubborn, her guard is going to remain up and it’s going to be very difficult, if not, impossible for you to get her back.
So, rather than trying harder to treat her even better than you already have been, turn the tables by making her feel attracted to you and putting her back in her place in a dominant, but loving way.
Reclaim your position of power.
Make her want you.
Make her want the relationship and then allow her to have another chance with you.
Okay, I hope you’ve enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you’d like to learn more, I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System
When you watch the program, you will learn the quickest, easiest and most effective way to get a woman back.
When you use the techniques from the program, she will stop being stubborn and she will open back up to you and give you another chance.
Women Can Change How They Feel Quite Easily
One final point that I want to make for you in this video is that to get her to go from being stubborn to open and flexible, you need to focus on triggering her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction.
That won’t happen with begging and pleading, writing her a letter, explaining things via text, pouring your heart out to her and so on.
Those approaches don’t work and you most likely know that already.
What works is when you change your approach to attraction and begin attracting her in new, more interesting ways.
She suddenly feels drawn to you and is thinking about you and missing you.
She feels like you are going to be the one who got away and she’s going to regret it.
She then wants to get you back for her own reasons.
She wants to explore the feelings that she now has for you, it’s interesting to her, it’s appealing and it makes her want to be around you.
It makes her want to be in your arms, it makes her want to kiss you and be sexual with you.
She stops being so stubborn, opens back up to you and you then give her a chance to be with you.
She wants you.
She wants to be back with you.
The reason why is that she is feeling attracted to you in new and interesting ways.
You are making her feel like if she doesn’t give you another chance, she is going to regret it.
She does not want to live with that feeling of regret.
It is essentially you giving her a chance to be with you.
It’s no longer about you trying to hopefully convince her to give you another chance.
She feels attracted to you again.
The love is flowing again.
She wants to be with you and you simply allow her to be with you.
As you learned earlier on in the video, if you go against the fundamental principles of how attraction actually works, women will be difficult, they’ll play hard to get and they’ll reject you.
However, if you approach it correctly, a woman wants to be with you, she wants to be selected by you.
She wants to be around you and experience the exciting emotions that come with being with you.
She knows that she can only get that with you.
As a result, she naturally opens herself back up to you and you get her back.