One of the most common techniques to try to get an ex back is to cut off contact.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work, especially for men who are trying to get women back.
So, in this video, I’m going to cover 6 common misconceptions about the No Contact Rule to help you avoid making classic mistakes that will push your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife further away.
1. You have to do it for 30 or 60 days
The first common misconception about the No Contact Rule is you have to do it for 30 or 60 days.
Every breakup is different and every situation is different, so cutting off contact for 30 or 60 days in all situations just doesn’t make any sense.
The fact is that some guys get their ex-girlfriend or ex-wife back immediately.
Some guys get their woman back within days and some within a week or two.
You don’t have to cut off contact for 30 or 60 days after a breakup to get an ex back.
In some cases, it can be a good idea to cut off contact with your woman for 30 or 60 days, but in most cases what happens is that the woman ends up moving on.
Some of the reasons why she moves on are that:
- She just gets used to not having her ex in her life anymore.
- She wants to make herself feel better by hooking up with a new guy because her ex isn’t contacting her.
- She wants to seek revenge on her ex for not contacting her by hooking up with a new guy and letting him know about that, or;
- She was completely turned off by him at the time when she broke up with him, so there’s no motivation for her to want to come back at all. Instead, she simply moves on.
So, rather than making the classic mistake of cutting off contact for 30 or 60 days and it causing your woman to move on, what I recommend that you do is use an approach that fits your situation.
For example: In most cases, a guy doesn’t need to give his woman more than 3 to 7 days of space.
During that time, he should focus on improving his ability to make her feel attracted.
He should prepare himself to be able to make her feel attracted when he interacts with her after the few days to a week.
After the few days to a week of rapidly improving his ability to attract her, he should meet up with her and actually make her feel attracted.
While interacting with her, he focuses on triggering her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction.
He doesn’t try to get into long, deep and meaningful conversations or beg and plead for another chance.
He focuses on triggering those magical feelings that bring a man and a woman together and keep them together.
Those feelings are sexual and romantic attraction.
When those feelings are in place, the love starts to flow back into a woman’s heart.
Of course, some guys don’t feel like they can get ready within a few days to a week.
They feel like they might need a month or two to recover and get ready to be able to interact with her and attract her.
A guy can run that risk if he wants to.
However, what I’ve seen by helping guys to get women back for many years now is that guys who wait too long usually end up losing their woman.
She simply moves on.
So, just know that you do not have to cut off contact with your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife for 30 or 60 days.
Use an approach that suits your situation.
For example: Some guys are ready to get their woman back immediately, some within a few days, some within a week, some within a couple of weeks.
However, just understand that you do not have to wait 30 or 60 days to take action and re-attract her and get her back.
30 or 60 days is not a scientifically proven number that has been found after doing intensive studies or anything like that.
It’s simply something that people like to say because it’s a round number and easy to remember and easy to understand.
Yet, there is no scientific evidence to prove that waiting 30 or 60 days gets an ex woman back.
So, what you need to do is decide on which approach you’re going to use.
If you feel like cutting off contact for 30 or 60 days is going to do the trick and she’s going to come running back to you, then great.
However, if you feel like she’s going to move on because she’s no longer attracted to you then you need to focus on improving your ability to attract her and then interact with her and attract her again.
That’s how you will get her back.
2. It’s the only way to get a woman back after a breakup
Some guys just don’t know what to do after they’ve been dumped by the woman they love.
It’s a horrible feeling and often results in a guy behaving in ways that are completely out of character.
For example: He might start begging and pleading, writing long letters and emails expressing his love for her and trying to work things out, sending her loads of text messages, showing up at her door with flowers, gifts and so on.
It’s completely out of character.
None of those things work and women see them as a turn off because the guy is being desperate.
Additionally, with things like long letters and emails, most women see that as selfish because the guy is usually talking about his feelings, what he wants and trying to get her to understand his point of view.
Yet, what she wants him to understand is her point of view and that is, she’s not attracted to him anymore.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t understand that or they don’t understand how to re-attract their ex-girlfriend or wife so what else can they do?
Some guys think, “Well, all I can do now is cut off contact and hope that she comes back to me.”
Unfortunately, that doesn’t work in most cases.
If a woman doesn’t feel attracted to her guy anymore, she almost always just moves on.
She doesn’t feel much or any motivation to go back to him simply because he’s not contacting her.
Instead, she meets new guys, she feels attracted and she moves on.
So, a common misconception about the No Contact Rule is that it’s the only way to get an ex back after a breakup.
In fact, it’s one of the worst ways for men.
The best way to get an ex woman back after a breakup is to improve your ability to make her feel attracted to you.
You need to able to interact with her and trigger those magical feelings of sexual and romantic attraction that bring a man and woman together and keep them together.
That is what counts.
Rather than trying to tell her about your feelings and explain things and work things out, you need to focus on what matters most to her, that is, her feelings.
When she feels sexually and romantically attracted to you as you interact with her, her guard comes down.
She stops focusing on the problems that existed between you and her.
She starts feeling that there is hope for you and her.
She’s feeling sparks of attraction for you and the love is starting to flow back into her heart.
3. Every woman responds well to it
The third common misconception about the No Contact Rule is every woman responds well to it.
Every woman does not respond well to the No Contact Rule.
In fact, many women respond negatively to it.
For example: A woman breaks up with a guy because he was taking her for granted.
He wasn’t treating her well enough and she just got sick and tired of it.
He then doesn’t contact her and she looks at him not contacting her as yet another example of him not giving a crap about her.
He’s just not willing to put in the effort to make the relationship work.
Another example is where a woman breaks up with a guy because he was too emotionally immature.
She wanted him to man up because he just wasn’t man enough for her (e.g. he was too emotionally sensitive).
She then breaks up with him and he doesn’t contact her.
She may then look at him not contacting her as him not being man enough to interact with her, attract her and get her back.
Another example is where a woman breaks up with a guy and he doesn’t contact her.
She then looks at him not contacting her as him trying to play mind games with her.
He’s trying to mess with her head and make her miss him. So she thinks, “Alright, well I’ll show you.”
She then goes out, hooks up with a guy sexually and lets her ex know about it.
So, let it be known, the No Contact Rule is not something that every woman responds well to.
Some women will respond well to it, in that they will feel like they’re losing their ex-boyfriend or husband and then contact him.
That does happen.
However, just understand that not every woman responds well to not being contacted after a break-up.
4. Every guy will heal and get over his ex during the no contact period
It doesn’t matter if a guy waits 30 days or 60 days after a breakup.
Some guys don’t get over their ex-girlfriend or ex-wife for YEARS.
They do not heal from it.
Some guys, during the 30-day or 60-day no contact period actually lose even more confidence in themselves.
For example: A guy realizes that his ex-girlfriend or ex-wife hasn’t been contacting him.
While he’s sitting around cutting off contact for 30 or 60 days and hoping that it gets her back, he’s essentially just thinking about her and missing her.
He’s not healing from the breakup. He’s not getting over her.
He wants her back more than ever and that feeling of wanting her back doesn’t go away.
Of course, some guys will get over their ex-girlfriend right away.
Some guys will get over her within 3 days, a week, a month, a year.
Every guy is different.
Just understand though that the no contact period is not a guarantee way to get over your ex.
By the way…
One of the things that helps a guy heal faster, is having confidence in himself that he is going to be able to attract his ex-girlfriend or wife.
Then, interacting with her and attracting her and seeing how differently she responds to him.
He can then see that he does have a chance with her and it is working.
As a result, his confidence increases and she naturally feels more attracted to him because he is now more confident.
Women are naturally attracted to confidence in men and turned off by self-doubt and insecurity, so you can’t lose if you increase your confidence.
She will feel more attracted to you.
That’s a fact.
On the other hand, when a guy cuts off contact with his ex-girlfriend or wife and doesn’t improve his ability to attract her, he doesn’t have that kind of confidence in himself and his ability to make her feel attracted.
In most cases, after cutting off contact for 30 or 60 days, a guy will interact with his ex-woman and his self-doubt and insecurity will come across and turn her off.
Remember: Women are attracted to confidence, not self-doubt and insecurity.
So, if you are going to cut off contact with your ex for a week or more, just make sure that you are focusing on improving your ability to attract her.
What you want to do is prepare to make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you when you interact with her.
That is what counts and that is what gets her back for real.
Of course, you don’t need 30 or 60 days to do that!
Most guys can do it in a few days to a week.
They can prepare themselves and then interact with their ex girl and get her back.
5. Putting the ball in her court is the best way to get her back
Some guys assume that it will look cool and tough and masculine if they say, “Oh, well, look. Whatever. I want to be with you, but if you don’t want to be with me, fine. If you change your mind, then contact me.”
It might sound cool and tough to say that.
It might sound independent and like you don’t really care.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Women do not want to be the leaders in the dating and relationship dynamic.
This principle applies when you’re picking up women, when you’re on dates, when you’re in a relationship and when you’re getting your ex back.
For example: When picking up women, men can’t just stand around and say, “Oh, well, stuff all these women. If they want to talk to me, then I’m not going to talk to them. They’re going to have to come and talk to me.”
Obviously, it doesn’t work that way.
Women go out, the dress themselves up to look pretty and they hope that a man has the balls to come over and talk to them and make them feel attracted.
Women don’t want to go over and talk to a guy who potentially isn’t confident and then they end up with an insecure guy.
They want to have confident guys walk up and talk to them.
On dates, women like men to take the lead too.
Women are fine with choosing some dates and making some decisions, but for the most part, they want men to take the lead and lead the way.
Same with a relationship. A woman wants the man to lead the dynamic. She wants him to be in a one-up position.
The same applies with the ex back process.
You need to have the balls to interact with your ex and make her feel attracted to you.
You need to make her feel something for you again.
In other words, you need to trigger her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction.
When you do that, she opens back up to you.
However, if you just put the ball in her court and expect her to take the lead then you’re most likely going to be disappointed.
Most guys who put the ball in the woman’s court and expect her to come crawling back even though she’s not attracted, end up disappointed.
She just moves on.
Of course, sometimes it is good to walk away and put the ball in the woman’s court.
An example of when that is a good idea is when the woman’s just being a pain in the butt.
She’s just being unreasonable, being annoying and she is breaking up with him just to be a pain in the butt.
So, he just pushes her out of his life, doesn’t contact her and leaves it up to her to contact him.
In cases like that, the woman will most likely come back.
Of course, it’s not guaranteed, but the guy probably doesn’t care either.
However, for most guys who need help to get an ex woman back, it’s when the woman isn’t attracted to him anymore.
She’s over it, she dumped him, she doesn’t want to be with him anymore and if he leaves it up to her to come back to him, she ain’t coming back!
Finally, number 6. A common misconception about the No Contact Rule is…
6. It’s the best way to improve yourself
If a guy cuts off contact with his woman for a week after the breakup, that will usually be enough time for him to prepare to re-attract her.
He doesn’t need to spend any more time than that if he’s actually focusing on improving his ability to attract her.
The reason why is that if he does improve his ability to attract her, then he’s going to interact with her and create sparks of attraction.
She is going to feel differently.
She is going to be surprised by the way that she’s feeling about him.
He also needs to be able to follow through on that and guide her through the rest of the ex back process and get her back, but that’s what he needs to do to start the process of getting her back.
Just cutting off contact isn’t the solution to improving yourself and getting her back.
For example: If a guy got dumped because he was insecure, he didn’t feel worthy of his woman anymore.
He started being jealous and needy and clingy because he saw her as being more valuable than him.
She felt turned off by his lack of confidence in himself.
If he wants to get her back, he needs to fix that about himself.
If he just cuts off contact and doesn’t improve his confidence, then he’s going to turn her off when he next interacts with her.
So, he needs to focus on improving his feelings of worthiness.
How can he do that?
Here are three examples of what he can do. First, I’ll read them out and then I’ll explain them.
- Stop worrying about what she thinks of you.
- Stop seeing yourself as being unworthy of her.
- Know that she will feel respect and attraction for you if you are stronger than before.
1. Stop focusing on what she thinks of you
Start focusing on what you think of yourself.
Start focusing on your positive qualities and focus on the fact that you are becoming a better man.
You have already become a better man since the breakup.
You’ve been learning and improving.
That’s what you should be focusing on.
You are a better man now than you were when she broke up with you.
2. Stop seeing yourself as being unworthy
Whether you feel worthy or unworthy, comes down to what you think.
You have to decide that you are worthy of her.
You can’t be looking to her for approval of your decision that you’re worthy of her.
You can’t be looking to her for compliments and reassurance that you’re worthy of her.
You have to take that for yourself.
You have to say that, “I am worthy. I am good enough for her.”
You have to believe that.
If you do believe that, you will naturally come across as confident and she will naturally feel more attracted to you.
3. Know that she will feel respect and attraction for you if are stronger than before
When she experiences the strength of your newfound confidence, she will naturally feel attracted to you.
She will naturally respect who you have become.
She might not make that obvious because she wants to test your confidence, but she will naturally feel that in response to your improved confidence.
Okay, so that was an example there of how a guy can improve himself in a particular way while he is cutting off contact with his woman.
I don’t recommend that a guy cuts off contact for more than 7 days though.
I recommend that you be a man about your situation, you improve your ability to attract her, you interact with her and you get her back.
You do not need 30 or 60 days to heal.
You’re not soft like that.
You are a strong man.
You’re much more powerful and capable.
You can get this done now or very quickly.
You don’t have to wait 1 or 2 months before you take action.
In other words, you don’t have to wait 30 or 60 days before you begin the ex back process.
The fact is that most guys can get their ex woman back very quickly if they focus on improving their ability to attract her and then interact with her, attract her, hook up with her and get her back.
You can do that, too.
Okay, I hope you’ve enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you’d like to learn more, I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System
When you watch the program, you will learn exactly what to say and do to get her back.
She will feel naturally attracted to you again.
The love will flow back into her heart.
She will be looking at you with love and attraction in her eyes.
Her feelings about you will completely change and you will get her back.
Take Control of Your Situation
One final point that I want to make for you in this video is that, rather than focusing on cutting off contact and hoping it will make her come back, I recommend that men take control of the situation.
If you want to take control of the situation, you simply need to focus on attraction.
You need to interact with her and trigger her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction.
When you do that, you can skip through all the nonsense.
You can skip past all the mind games and you can just get her back.
She’s feeling attracted to you, she’s feeling like she’s in love with you again and you get back into a relationship with her.