When I first discovered the cocky funny approach, I thought it was the “magic bullet” for success with women and dating.
I thought that if a LITTLE bit of cocky made women feel attraction, then I should use a LOT of it all at once to make women feel intense attraction. Yet, it backfired. I used so much cocky and funny during my interactions with women that they couldn’t understand why I was being so arrogant and cocky.
A friend of mine would often joke and refer to me as Dangerous Dan, because I would get all worked up and say stupid things to women (that, at the time, I thought was cool) like, “This is my reality and you are a guest” based on the advice from an early dating guru in the seduction community.
It was a confusing time for me because some women were responding well to the cocky and funny approach, while others were responding very badly and even asking me to go away and leave them alone. So, I began to experiment with different styles of cocky and funny until I eventually worked out the right way to do it.
Achieving the Right Balance of Cocky and Funny
The right balance you need to achieve between cocky and funny is not so much about using certain percentage of cocky and a certain percentage of funny (e.g. 40% cocky and 60% funny).
The right balance is in understanding that you need to be playfully arrogant, rather than being arrogantly cocky. In other words, you are pretending to be arrogant and that is what women find funny, exciting and enjoyable.
Being very cocky and arrogant for real is not something that most people can vibe with, which is why most women will close off to you and even reject you if you’re approach is too cocky. However, being playfully arrogant is something that everyone can vibe with and laugh along with, which is why it pretty much always works.
Playfully Arrogant Humor
Playfully Arrogant Humor is a more advanced version of cocky and funny because it takes the following into account:
Many women have self-esteem issues: Not all women are confident. They may act like they are, but statistically speaking, most women have self-esteem issues (e.g. the Dove Cosmetics global survey on beauty discovered that 96% of women do not consider themselves to be beautiful).
Being very cocky (rather than using my approach of Playfully Arrogant Humor) will make most women feel uneasy around you, but being playfully arrogant around any woman will make her laugh and enjoy interacting with you.
Cockiness isn’t seen as cool by everyone: If you watch late night talk show hosts, you will notice that they are being playfully arrogant with their guests and with the audience.
Everyone laughs and sees it as cool and funny because it’s playful arrogance. However, when you see someone on TV who is being too cocky, most people turn against that person. Being cocky with women or with people is not the answer and if you go down that path, you will find that you piss a lot of people off and get rejected by most women.
Here are some examples of my version of cocky and funny called Playfully Arrogant Humor.
Playfully Arrogant Humor Examples
Cafe / Coffeeshop
Imagine that you’re at a coffee shop like Starbucks and a woman walks up to order her coffee at the same time as you. Instead of just letting her in front like a standard nice guy would, you can say the following in a playful way, easy-going way:
Her: [Looks at you to work out whether or not you’re going to let her go first].
You: Alright, you can go in front…as long as you buy me 3 café lattes and a piece of that chocolate cake there…
Her: [Laughing or smiling. Possibly asking you, “Really?” or looking confused].
You: [Smile and say in a relaxed manner] Okay, nevermind the 3 coffees. Just one coffee, a piece of chocolate cake and a cookie.
Her: [Usually laughing or smiling].
You: [Smile] Just kidding [and then say like a good guy/gentleman] …go ahead, you go first.
Her: [Will usually thank you].
This is attractive to women because in that moment, you are using your confidence, masculinity and social intelligence to slightly dominate her. You are “leading the dance” so to speak and that is exactly what women want to experience. It’s not about being overly cocky and disrespecting women, but showing them that you have the capacity to dominate them while also being a good guy at the same time.
Feeling dominated by you through conversation sets off a deep and primal attraction trigger and then seeing that you’re actually a cool, good guy then sets of her love trigger.
She looks at you as being a complex, interesting man with whom she will be able to experience a variety of exciting emotions. Compare that to a boring, nice guy who only has the capacity to make her feel a small variety of safe emotions.
Bar / Nightclub
Imagine that you’re at a bar or nightclub and are talking to some hot girls who are enjoying the conversation, but also playing hard to get.
To get their respect, you mostly need to not worry about getting their respect. Get that? What I mean is that when you’re worried about trying to get girls to respect you or like you, you’re usually going to be behaving in ways that will make them not like you. For example: You will appear a bit tense, you will seem to doubt yourself around her, etc.
Women are attracted to the confidence in men, so the more self-belief you have around women, the more they like you. It’s nice that we men get rewarded for believing in ourselves because that is really easy to do. Here are some things that I have said and that I have taught to clients that will demonstrate your confidence and ability to use humor:
Example 1
Her: So, are you going to buy me a drink?
You: Because I am such a gentleman, I will let you buy me one first. Ladies first as they say!
Example 2
Her: So, are you going to buy me a drink?
You: Sure, give me $10.
Example 3
Her: So, are you going to buy me a drink?
You: A glass of water, right?
Example 4
Her: So, are you going to buy me a drink?
You: Why, are you underage? Haha…you don’t have any ID!
Example 5
Her: So, are you going to buy me a drink?
You: Oh thanks, yes, I will have a scotch and coke…cheers.
Her: [Laughing] No! 🙂 I said you buy me a drink!
You: Oh, no…that wouldn’t be polite. I’ve always been taught that ladies go first.
Her: [Laughing]
Example 6
Her: So, are you going to buy me a drink?
You: Yes, as long as you take me out to dinner this week.
Example 7
Her: So, are you going to buy me a drink?
You: Sure, but the first round is on you okay? I’ll get the next round and will get you something special.
Example 8
Her: So, are you going to buy me a drink?
You: Sure, would you like a lemon in the water, or just a plain glass of water with a straw?
Example 9
Her: So, are you going to buy me a drink?
You: Sure, I’ll buy you whatever you want as long as you like me.
See how it works? You’re not being a cocky asshole who is trying to hurt women or put them down. You are being playfully arrogant in the way you respond to her. This is a much cooler, effective way of using the outdated cocky and funny approach.
At this point, some guys are probably wondering, “Should I then buy her the drink?” It really depends on whether or not she likes you. If she doesn’t like you (i.e. she’s not attracted to you) then don’t bother buying her a drink because there’s a 99% chance she won’t sleep with you.
However, if she is attracted to you, then there is a high chance you will be kissing her and then taking her home for sex after a few drinks, so go ahead and get the first round. As long as she pays for a round or two, all is well.
You don’t have to become too serious about taking turns to buy rounds – that usually spoils the fun vibe. Just go with the flow and enjoy your time with her. Make her feel good emotions and then move in for a kiss. When that happens, seduce her some more with your words and vibe and then pull her back for sex.
Some girls will buy drinks for guys and some won’t. You’re not a failure if they don’t buy drinks; it’s only natural.
The world isn’t black and white and when you’re out there picking up women, you shouldn’t ever feel down or defeated if some women react a little differently to others.
Instead, be the wise man who knows that human beings are complex and while many women will respond the same way to the exact same lines or behavior, not all women will and that is okay. It’s not her fault, it’s not your fault – it’s just the complexity of human nature.
Going to the Bathroom – Bar/Nightclub
At some point during an interaction with a woman at a bar or nightclub, she is going to excuse herself to go to the bathroom. This is another perfect opportunity to build some more attraction and add to the sexual vibe between you.
Example 1
Her: I’m going to go to the bathroom.
You: Wow, you’re forward. The last woman who hit on me at least took me out to dinner first, but you want me in the bathroom already?
Example 2
Her: Excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom.
You: Sorry, I don’t do it in the bathroom. You’ll need to buy me a few more drinks before I will consider going home with you.
Example 3
Her: Excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom.
You: I’ll wait here, but don’t get angry at me if there are other girls hitting on me when you get back. It happens to me all the time.
The Term “Cocky and Funny” Confuses a Lot of Guys
When I first began using the cocky and funny approach, I made the mistake of being too cocky and thinking that women wanted to experience my cockiness. As you would know if you’ve used the C&F approach, being too cocky turns almost every woman off and creates an uncomfortable vibe between you.
When I made the simple adjustment to being playfully arrogant instead of being a try-hard cocky asshole, I also began to realize that cocky and funny was not about making women feel bad about themselves, or bringing them down in any way.
Using cocky and funny is about showing women that you’re not a pushover, that you’re not desperate to get laid and that you’re actually a cool guy who doesn’t feel the need to impress everyone all the time.
Who Am I and Why Should You Listen to Me?
My name is Dan Bacon and I am expert when it comes to topic of cocky and funny because, unlike all the amateur “dating gurus” who aren’t even successful with women, I have gone beyond the initial “cocky and funny” routines, to create my own type of humor that I call Playfully Arrogant Humor.
Women don’t want you to be overly cocky to the point where you’re an asshole, but they do LOVE it when you are arrogant in a playful way.
Being playfully arrogant ensures that you are still likeable and you don’t cause unnecessary negative tension between you and the women.
To be playfully arrogant means that you’re pretending to be arrogant, which is what is so funny to women and people in general. However, if you are actually being arrogant and cocky, a lot of women just won’t be able to or have the desire to vibe with that.
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