Wouldn’t it be nice if a beautiful woman approached you and started chatting to you with the intention of asking you out?
Wouldn’t that be the ultimate compliment that women could actually see that you were a good guy who was worth getting to know? Wouldn’t it be so much easier not to have to always be the one to make the first move?
If you’d love to live in a world where women approach you, don’t worry – you’re not the only one.
Many men fantasize about women approaching first so they don’t have to face their fears of potentially getting rejected. Unfortunately, many movies and TV shows like to feed on these male fantasies by creating scenes where women basically walk up and kiss men all of a sudden or hand over their phone number and say, “Call me.”
So the question is: Do women ever approach men in real life? The answer it: It depends.
Some of the times when a woman will approach a guy include:
- If he is very handsome and wants to show off to her girlfriends by approaching him and getting him interested.
- The woman is drunk and is just walking around talking to people.
- The guy is sitting or standing next to her and she’s in the mood to start a conversation.
However, in almost all other circumstances, women avoid approaching men first. Why?
Not Approaching Ensures That She Has a Higher Chance of Meeting an Alpha Male
The one type of man that women are always attracted to is an alpha male.
A woman’s natural instinct to attract herself an alpha male is one of the main reasons why women don’t approach nervous men (lower ranking males) and give them a “free pass” to meet her.
Instead of potentially approaching a lower ranking male, her instinct will cause her to wait to be approached by an alpha male who has the necessarily social skills to talk to women.
Are You an Alpha Male?
To help you answer that question, I’ll explain what an alpha male is and how he thinks, behaves and takes action in life.
As it applies to the subject of approaching women, an alpha male is the guy who, without hesitation, approaches women that he finds attractive, instead of hoping that they take on the alpha role and come over to choose him.
When approaching women, he feels no fear or anxiety and is completely confident and at ease, even if the women temporarily test him by initially behaving cold or uninterested. He simply remains confident and relaxed because he knows that women will feel a natural attraction to his confidence and masculinity.
He doesn’t need to try to get girls to like him – they automatically feel attracted to him because of his alpha male characteristics. It’s a natural reaction.
Since he is an alpha male in his everyday life, he already knows that most of the women he meets like him and want to be with him anyway, so if a woman initially behaves as though she’s not interested to test his confidence, he simply remains calm and continues talking to her in an easy going way.
He doesn’t feel shocked, worried or insecure and start to doubt his attractiveness. He knows that women feel a natural attraction for him and he isn’t afraid of what other guys might see as an “awkward silence.” He just smiles, remains confident and relaxed and waits for the women to recognize that they are interacting with an alpha male.
After a few moments or minutes, the woman realizes that she’s interacting with an alpha male and then she opens herself and her heart to the situation. When that happens, a woman can’t stop herself from feeling intense emotional and physical attraction to him.
The alpha male might be overweight, skinny or have an average looking or even “ugly” face, but that won’t matter to her. She will say, “There’s something about him. He’s sexy!” If the alpha male is experienced with women, he’ll also easily be able to transition a simple conversation to kissing and sex shortly after.
As it applies to modern life, an alpha male is the type of guy who can take the lead in situations when needed, exudes self confidence, is emotionally and mentally strong, is socially intelligent and is driven and determined to succeed with whatever he is aiming to do.
He is the guy who knows how to make a woman feel like a real woman in his presence (i.e. he makes them feel girly in response to his masculinity), simply by being a strong man around her in terms of his thinking, behavior and actions.
Instead of putting on an innocent nice guy act, an alpha male will be the good guy that he already is, but he won’t behave as though he’s just interested in being a woman’s friend or doing a a lot of favors for her because he’s such a kindhearted guy.
Even though he is being nice to her, an alpha male will still make his intentions clear by saying things like, “You’re sexy” and she’ll love hearing it because she too feels sexual attraction for him, due to his confidence and alpha male qualities.
An alpha male doesn’t need to wait around and hope that a woman will approach and choose him, because he’s too busy enjoying the woman (or women) he’s approached and chosen.
If a woman sees that you’re too afraid to approach to her, even though she’s giving you obvious signals like frequent eye contact or smiling, then it will be safe for her to assume that you don’t have your pick of women and are hoping that she takes on the alpha role and approaches you. That’s not what a woman wants to do.
Why Do You Want a Woman to Approach You First?
It’s perfectly fine for any man to ask, “Do women ever approach men?” but if you’re asking the question because you’re afraid to approach women or don’t feel as though you’re good enough for the women you like, then you need to change that.
If you haven’t been taking on the alpha role and approaching women that you find attractive, what is the underlying reason why you are holding back?
1. Do you lack self-confidence?
As a guy, feeling nervous and insecure around women is an embarrassing condition to deal with.
Some guys are so fearful of being rejected that they become tongue-tied and anxious whenever they have to talk to, or be around, a beautiful woman.
As he interacts with the woman, he worries so much about her not liking him or about him making a mistake that would turn her off, that his palms might become sweaty, he can’t think straight and he struggles to let her experience his real, authentic personality.
Unless a guy has a string a positive experiences with women in a short period of time, his negative experiences will usually cause his fear of rejection to become so overwhelming that he’d rather not approach a woman at all, than have to face the possibility of rejection, humiliation or failure.
Instead, he will let life pass him by and will try to dull his desire for real women by regularly masturbating to the virtual women in porn.
He will feel down on himself for masturbating so often, but when his desire builds up again over the next few days, he’ll just go back to the “porn drug” and dull his desire once again. Anything to avoid the possibility of being rejected by a real woman.
2. Do you find it difficult to keep a conversation going with attractive women?
Great conversation skills allow you to make women quickly and naturally fall in love with you, have a group of people hanging on your every word and even turn a hostile person into a friend or an ally.
However, when you lack conversation skills, it feels like such a hassle to have to walk over and talk to a woman for long enough for her to like you. You might be the sort of good, kindhearted guy that she’d love to have as her man, but she doesn’t get to see that side of you.
Instead, you may feel so nervous or anxious in the moment that you stumble on your answers and try to focus the conversation on her by asking her question after question, until she ends up feeling like you are interviewing her.
At that point, she realizes, “Hang on…this feels weird…why is this guy asking me so many questions?” and she then tries to end the conversation. Instinctively, she knows that guys who lack social skills with women are likely to struggle in other social situations as well.
Since most of what makes two humans feel attraction for each other is the possibility of breeding with someone who will ensure their personal survival and the survival of any offspring they have together, lacking the ability to socialize with women in a confident, competent way sets off alarm bells in a her mind.
She might not know why, but it just won’t feel right to her so she will look to end the conversation.
Some guys have such a low self-image that they spend a lot of time talking about all the positive things about themselves, in the hope that a woman will be impressed. Yet, once again, a woman’s instincts will kick in and she will realize that he is trying to raise his value in her eyes because he lacks confidence.
If he knew that he was a good catch, he wouldn’t be in a hurry to tell her all the good things about himself. Instead, he’d just engage her in an easy-going, fun and flirtatious conversation and let nature take its course.
When a guy lacks conversation skills, he will often try to avoid women altogether rather than “make a fool of himself” and feel rejected by women yet again. He will let perfect opportunities to approach and talk to women pass him by while he waits and hopes that, one day, a woman might approach him and make it easy for him to hook up with her.
It doesn’t matter if a guy is successful in his career, good-looking or has plenty of money; if he lacks conversation skills, he will rarely get past a first date with an attractive woman.
Some women might be initially interested in his looks or material possessions (e.g. nice clothes, nice car, lots of money, etc), but if the interaction and conversation feels weird or awkward, the woman will lose interest and want to meet a guy who can make her feel attracted, happy and relaxed when talking to him.
3. Do you find that women just aren’t that interested in you?
Even if a guy is a good conversationalist, if he doesn’t know how to spark and build sexual attraction between himself and a woman, then the best he can hope for is to have a “friendly” chat with the woman he likes before she excuses herself and tries to get away from him. Mutual sexual attraction is the key to a successful interaction between a man and a woman; without it, the conversation is nothing more than a forgettable interaction. To create attraction, a guy needs to know how to flirt and use subtle, sexual body language to let her know how he feels about her. In response, a woman will also use subtle, sexual body language and flirt with him to let him know that she’s interested in a sexual way.
Unfortunately, most guys just don’t know about flirting and sexual body language, so they end up thinking that women don’t like them for other reasons. However, they’ve just been missing the signals women have been giving them and after a while, the woman thinks, “Oh well, I guess he’s not interested” or worse, “What a waste of my time. This guy doesn’t get it” and then she’ll quickly excuse herself from the conversation. Eventually, if these type of awkward “go nowhere” conversations keep happening to a guy, then he’ll usually become despondent and will wait and hope for a woman to take on the alpha role and choose him.
4. Are you insecure about your value to women?
Did you know? Even if a guy is valuable, confident and what women refer to as a “catch,” they will still test how confident he really is by playing hard to get with him.
In the end, women are looking for the most confident guy, not the most insecure one, so they always test to see who you really are deep own. Testing allows a woman to determine whether a man is mentally and emotionally strong enough to handle her and is also a good way to gauge how much she can push him around or control him.
If you’ve ever approached a woman and been snubbed, been given the cold shoulder or even been happily talked to one minute and ignored the next, then you have been at the receiving end of a woman’s tests.
Don’t take it as a sign that women don’t like you. Instead, it’s actually what women do to determine how much they like you. When you pass a woman’s tests of your confidence, she can’t help but feel a growing, intense attraction for you.
Most guys simply assume that they are being rejected and then give up and walk away. They go home alone once again and assume that it must be because they’re not good-looking enough, rich enough, tall enough, etc. However, the reality is that most of what it takes to be successful with women comes back to confidence and your ability to attract women during an interaction.
Watch this video to learn more…
Decide to Make the First Move From Now On
When a guy asks me “Do women ever approach men?” I often ask him, “Why would you want her to?” in an effort to find out whether he is trying to avoid the possibility of rejection or is hoping that women behave more like men and choose him.
As a man, it’s easy to give up on approaching women if you’ve had some bad experiences in the past, or if you feel shy and anxious around women to begin with.
It’s also easy to think that if a woman approaches you all your problems will disappear, your conversation with her will flow smoothly and you will live happily ever after. Yet, that’s not how it works.
The truth is, hiding from your fears of approaching women will never get you anywhere in life, but developing your inner alpha male and becoming truly confident will.
What you may not realize right now is that you are good enough for most women. All that women want is that you approach them with confidence and focus on making them feel attracted to you, before trying to get them to like you as a guy.
If you can do that, most of the women you meet will feel attracted to you when you approach them and you will get more sex, love and affection from women than you can handle.
When you are one of the rare guys who can attract women during an interaction, you will realize that is so damn easy to approach and pick up women. It’s literally one of the easiest, most exciting and rewarding things that you will ever do as a man.