When a woman says that she needs space in a relationship, a guy usually reacts in the wrong way because it can trigger feelings of insecurity, concern and fear, which then leads him to behave in a way that turns her off.
What a guy needs to do is relax and understand that her asking for space means that she’s no longer feeling enough respect, attraction and love for him.
From there, he needs to stop saying and doing the type of things that have been turning her off or making her feel smothered and start saying and doing the types of things that will make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.
Common Reasons Why a Couple Might Need Space in Their Relationship
Not all relationships last a lifetime, especially when they started on the wrong terms.
For example: If a guy doesn’t know how to attract women and simply accepts whatever he can get, he will rarely get matched up with his ideal woman. It might feel good at the start because it’s exciting to feel lust and have sex with someone new, but if she isn’t his real, true type, he just won’t be committed enough to put in the effort that makes a relationship work.
Here is a video that I made for guys who have already been dumped by their woman. Watch this video to understand the process that your woman is going through now…
Here are some of the common reasons why a couple might want to get some space from each other when in a relationship…
1. They realize that they are incompatible
A couple could be dating for a few weeks, living together or even be married when one of them suddenly realizes that they’ve made a big mistake by committing to a relationship with that person.
Personally speaking, I know a guy who got married to a woman because all of his friends were getting married and he didn’t want to be left behind. After having two children and being with her for 7 years, he then cheated on her and left her for a more compatible woman.
She then fell into a deep depression, gained a lot of weight and basically never left the house unless she had to. It destroyed her.
Likewise, I’ve heard many stories from guys that I help via my phone coaching service who have been dumped by women who seemed to like them initially, but later revealed something like, “I have never really loved you” or “I always thought we weren’t a match, but I gave it time to see what would happen.”
This is why, as a man, it’s extremely important that you are able to attract women, so you can then have your choice of women, rather than accepting whatever you can get. When in a relationship with a woman, you also have to know how to deepen her love, respect and attraction for you over time. If you don’t know how to do that, she doesn’t have to stay with you for life.
Relationships don’t work like they did 120 years ago when a woman had to stay with a man for life because it was shameful to get divorced. It didn’t matter if they realized that they weren’t compatible after getting married – they were stuck with each other for life.
Not anymore.
Today’s women are free to break up with whoever they want, even if it means divorcing a husband. For a man to be successful with women in today’s world, he has to know how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for him over time.
A guy can no longer rely on a woman sticking around for life because things felt good at the start. If she isn’t happy, she is free to break up with him and then go and hook up with other guys until she finds a better match.
2. They realize that they have different long term goals about life
When a couple first gets together, they often overlook the fact that they don’t really have the same long term goals about. It’s exciting to be with someone new and the feelings of love make the couple feel like long term life goals aren’t that important, as long as they have this amazing feeling of love in their life.
Yet, when the initial buzz fades away, the differences between them start to become more obvious. When one person realizes that the other isn’t on the same page as them as isn’t willing to compromise, fights begin to happen.
When a couple has been together for a while, the relationship has to eventually grow towards the next step (e.g. moving in together, buying a house together, getting married or having babies). If the relationship doesn’t proceed to the next level because one person doesn’t have the same long term goals, it just doesn’t feel right anymore.
The couple realizes that they have different goals and are just not right for each other.
Sometimes a couple might be sexually attracted to each other and get along in many respects, but if their interests don’t match, one of them may feel like they need space in the relationship to take stock of what they really want and how much they are prepared to compromise to stay in the relationship.
Some couples will live happily with their differences, while other couples will separate over the smallest thing. It really depends on how much of a truly, compatible match they are and how real their love is.
Common Reasons Why a Woman Will Want Space in the Relationship
If a woman begins to think in the following ways, she will be more likely to ask for space from the relationship so can have time to think about what she really wants…
- Is he really the guy that she wants to spend the rest of her life with?
- Does she still feel excited to be with him, or has he taken her for granted and become a predictable and boring guy to be around?
- Does he make her feel like a real woman or does she feel like more a male buddy or “one of the guys” around him?
- Have they stopped having sex, or have there been long dry spells between sex?
- Does he still find her sexy, or does he use his sexual energy to masturbate to porn instead?
- What will like be like in 10 years if she stays with him?
- Has he become more mature in the relationship? Does he still do the things that he did when he was single, such as playing video games, drinking heavily, spending all his time with friends and not enough time with her, etc? Does he assume that she’s okay with him not growing up and become more mature?
- Is she ready to make a serious commitment to him and their relationship?
Whatever a woman’s reasons for taking a break from the relationship, it is important that a guy gives her the room to make up her mind.
Common Mistakes That Guys Make When a Woman Asks For Space From the Relationship
When the woman that you love says that she wants space from you, it’s enough to make you feel sick to the stomach. However, no matter how much it hurts you, it’s important that you remain strong and start saying and doing the types of things that will make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Here’s where guys go wrong…
1. Using the No Contact Rule
This is the most common piece of advice available online when it comes to getting an ex back or preventing a woman from leaving when she asks for space.
The No Contact rule states that a guy should not contact the woman for at least 30 days. After a while, she will realize that she misses him and come running back. Although this advice may work if the woman is still very attracted to the guy, if she’s having doubts about her feelings for him, it simply gives her enough time to move on with another guy.
It’s very easy for women to get laid and find a new guy. All she has to do is open a Tinder account or add a profile to an online dating site and she will have 100s of guys willing to meet her immediately.
If your woman is asking for space, going silent and not contacting her isn’t going to fix the reasons why she was asking for space in the first place. You need to start working on your ability to make her feel attracted to you. That is what counts.
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man really works…
2. Not changing anything
Many guys make the mistake of promising to change and do whatever a woman wants, as long as she doesn’t leave. Yet, unless the guy actually makes some serious changes and fixes his issues (e.g. insecurity), the problems between him and her will simply pop up again.
If a guy wants to keep a relationship with a woman together for life, he has to be willing to improve himself and become an even better man than he is right now. If your woman is on the verge of dumping you, it means that she doesn’t feel like you are good enough for her as you are right now.
You’ve got to put in the effort to improve your ability to attract her and begin getting over your issues (e.g. insecurity, taking her for granted or being too needy, etc) that have caused her to want to break up with you in the first place.
3. Begging, pleading, whining or blaming
Some guys don’t know how else to react to a woman’s relationship rejection that to beg, pleading, whine or blame her or other people for his shortcomings.
If the guy resorts to begging or pleading, it simply makes a woman lose more respect and attraction for him. If he whines and tries to blame other people, the world, his boss at work, etc, she realizes that he’s not the type of man that is going to make her feel safe, relaxed and protected throughout life.
4. Sending her insecure text messages
When a woman has asked for space from a relationship, the only type of text that a guy should be sending is something that will make her laugh or something that will get her onto a phone call. On the phone, he needs to focus on making her feel attracted and happy (e.g. by making her laugh, flirting with her, etc) and then get off the phone call after a few minutes.
She will then feel good about interacting with him and will start to reconsider her request for space. In most cases, she will contact him within 24 hours and if she doesn’t, the guy should get her on a phone call within 48 hours, repeat the process of making her feel good on the phone and then arrange for an in-person meet up.
At the meet up, he needs to focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him. That is what counts and what makes all the difference.
How to Prevent the Break Up
To ensure that her request for space doesn’t end with her wanting to break up with you, it’s extremely important that you stop saying and doing the types of things that have been turning her off.
From today onwards, you have to make a conscious effort to being saying and doing the types of things that will make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
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