Guys make all sort of mistakes that lead to failure with women, dating and relationships.
Could one of the following mistakes be the reason why you haven’t been succeeding with women lately? As you read through each of the common reasons why men fail with women, you’ll see that most of them are completely FIXABLE or avoidable.
How many of these mistakes have you made with women?
10. Showing too much interest too soon
The best way to show interest in a woman is to allow your interest to rise and fall depending on how she treats you, what she’s like as a person and on any other criteria you decide that you like or don’t like in a woman.
Many guys make the mistake of showing 100% attraction and interest in a woman right away. It is fine to be 100% attracted to her, but it is not fine to be 100% interested in her unless she really earns it.
Showing 100% interest in a woman will usually make her feel as though she doesn’t to do anything else to impress you or maintain your interest. In many cases, the woman will assume that you might be desperate or that she is out of your league.
So, make sure that you only allow your interest to rise if she behaves in the ways you like. In other words, be a bit of a challenge…
If she is being mean and bitchy towards you, or not contributing much to a conversation, you should pull back your interest in her. Believe me, she will respect you so much more for doing that and in most cases, she will then try to impress you to get your approval.
9. Being too nice
When asked what she is looking for a in a guy, most women will say something like, “Well, he has to be nice…has to listen and actually care about me.” Many guys misinterpret that as being the keys to success with women and assume that the nicer they are to girls, the more that girls will like them.
Yet, that’s just not how it works. When a woman says “I just want a nice guy,” she isn’t referring to a nervous, extra polite nice guy who feels like he needs to pay for everything, buy her gifts all the time, do everything that she wants to do, always give in to her demands and try really hard to impress her. Instead, she is referring to a nice guy who:
- Is confident around her, other women, alpha males and people in general.
- Flirts with her and creates a sexual vibe.
- Makes her feel girly in response to his masculinity.
- Uses humor in an attractive way.
- Is respected by other men.
There’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, but it’s not what makes her feel sexually attracted to you. The approach that I teach here at The Modern Man is about being a good guy, but also being sexually attractive to women.
A lot of guys fail with women because they assume that being nice to a woman will make her “like” him and want to be with him. However, liking you as a person is completely different to feeling sexual attraction for you.
8. Not creating sexual tension
Creating sexual tension between you and a woman is a MUST. Being a woman’s friend is NOT the step before having sex with her. You have to use flirting to create sexual tension and then release that sexual tension via kissing and sex.
Many guys feel as though creating sexual tension will be seen as “too forward” or “sleazy.” Over the years, guys have said to me, “The girl I like isn’t like other girls. She’s nice. She’s conservative” and all that sort of stuff. What a guy like that doesn’t realize is that women choose their boyfriends based on sexual desire, regardless of how conservative they behave.
Just like he masturbates at home every week, women also masturbate almost as often. See: Are Modern Men Masturbating Too Much?
7. Not approaching attractive women
If you only talk to women that you’re not attracted to or can’t hook up with (e.g. women who have a boyfriend or husband, coworkers, etc), then you’re not going to ger what you want with women anytime soon.
For example: Have you ever been in a bar and noticed a beautiful woman that you’d love to meet? Even though she might have been your perfect woman, you didn’t approach her. You just looked at her and daydreamed about what it would be like to be with her.
Why don’t you approach women that you find attractive? It may be that you:
- Think that women don’t want to be approached.
- Are unsure what to say when you approach.
- Are worried that you will run out of things to say and the conversation will get awkward.
- Don’t how to get a woman interested in you when you approach.
- Are afraid of being rejected.
If any of the above apply to you, then you can either keep going through life living on the sidelines or you can learn how to get in on the action. The fact is that women are open to being approached in social environments. Women know that it’s the man’s role to approach and they hope to be approached by a confident guy who will be able to lead them through a sexual courtship and into a relationship.
6. Ignoring opportunities to meet single women
There are millions of beautiful, single women who would love to be in a relationship with you right now. It really is true. Millions of single women wish they could find a guy just like you right now. If that is the case, why haven’t you met each other yet? I’m not sure how you currently try to meet women, but most guys who fail with women tend to rely on:
- Maybe getting lucky one day. How long have you been waiting so far?
- Chance encounters (e.g. you happen to get introduced through friends and then hit it off). When was the last time that happened? Would you be confident enough to handle being introduced to a beautiful woman or would you feel intimidated by her, get nervous and ruin the opportunity?
As you may have experienced, using only a couple of ways to find a girlfriend often leads to being single and alone for long periods of time. If you want to speed the process up of getting a girlfriend, I highly-recommend that you listen to 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend. You will learn what to say and do to approach women and get yourself a girlfriend in 21 different environments (e.g. shopping mall, speed dating, mixed sports team, etc).
5. Giving up too easily
At the first sign of a woman losing interest, most guys give up thinking that they’ve blown it and quickly leave the interaction. When it comes to approaching women, one of the most important things you will ever learn is to STAY IN THERE. After coaching guys on weekend courses in bars and clubs for many years, I’ve seen guys (who had previously never approached women in their life) hook up with beautiful women on their second night of practice.
One of the main reasons for their success was simply staying in there and not giving up. The guys who are the most successful with women STAY IN THERE and keep the conversation going, keep flirting and keep moving things forward all the way to a phone number, kiss or sex. Staying in there demonstrates one of the most attractive traits that women look for in a guy: Confidence.
Of course, if a woman is telling you to “Go away!” then it’s probably not going to be a good idea to stay in there. However, if it’s just a case of the conversation stalling and getting a bit quiet at times, make sure you stay in there. In most cases, the woman will not know what to say to keep the conversation going and will hope that you have the confidence to stay in there and keep building a connection with her.
4. Lacking confidence
The #1 thing that women are attracted to in men is confidence. However, most men have a hard time feeling confident around the women they like. If you tend to doubt yourself around women that you find attractive, you simply need to change the way you think. For example: Ben from The Modern Man once worked as a personal trainer in a gym. A lot of the customers were beautiful women; many of which he wanted to date.
So, he decided to conduct an experiment. Instead of thinking like he always had, “Does this woman like me?” or “Would I have a chance with her?” he changed his thinking to, “She wants me” and assumed that he was correct.
Not only did Ben feel an immediate boost in his own confidence, but he also noticed an immediate change in how women spoke to him. Suddenly, women were smiling and giggling when they talked to him. Why? The women sensed his confidence by noticing his body language, the way his spoke and how he looked at them. Ben then began to have sexual relationships with a number of women at the gym over the following months. Pretty remarkable for such a small change in mindset. If you want to learn some more amazing mindsets that radically improve your results with women, listen to Mastery Methods and Mindsets.
3. Thinking that it is impossible to get better results with women
Many guys go through life thinking that if they haven’t been able to succeed with women so far, they are doomed for life. They develop all sorts of insecurities and come up with excuses about their looks, height, money, job, etc as being the reason for their lack of success with women.
Little do those men know that being successful with women requires a certain skill set. Just like you can learn to drive a car or play a guitar, you can also learn the skill set required for success with women. There is a skill set involved in approaching women, talking to women, escalating to kissing and sex, relationships and love. These are all things that a guy can learn and master.
Yet, instead of seeking a solution (i.e. learning from us here The Modern Man), many modern men distract themselves with work, study, sport, TV, porn and wasting time online (e.g browsing Facebook, reading the latest news, etc). The longer these men ignore their problems with women, the longer they have to put up with being single, lonely and frustrated.
If you’ve read this far, then you’re obviously different to most guys. You know that it’s possible to improve your skills with women. Yet, will you actually get started? Are you going to keep dulling your sexual desire each week by jerking off to porn (Read: Are Modern Men Masturbating Too Much?), or are you going to grow up and be a man who gets laid and gets a girlfriend in real life?
2. Fearing rejection
If meeting and dating women was as simple as saying “Hi” and then living happily ever after, we’d all be living in a completely different world right now. In the real world, no guy is compatible with every woman he meets. The guys who are the most successful with women don’t see incompatibility as “rejection” like other guys do. If they meet a woman and it doesn’t work out, they see it as NORMAL and NATURAL.
In fact, the guys who are most successful with women see it as normal to meet 10 women and only properly “click” with three or four of them. They also understand that is completely normal to then only choose one or two of those women to begin dating and having sex.
1. Living in the past
It doesn’t matter if you have failed with women in the past. It also doesn’t matter if you’ve loved 100 women, only to be told the “I just want to be friends” line each time. All of that can change. EVERY GUY who has learned my techniques for success with women has failed with women (in some form or another) in the past. I did too. What separates me from all the other guys who continue to fail with women is that I have discovered the techniques for success with women and I now USE THEM.
Are you willing to learn my techniques? Do you want success with women or not? Check out what other guys are saying about how using my techniques has changed their life with women beyond recognition – success stories.