Why don't women like me?

What makes a woman dislike a guy? Can any man change his success rate with women?

Over the years, many guys have asked me, “Dan, why don't women like me? Can you tell me what I am doing wrong?” So, if you’re sitting at home wondering why you haven’t had sex or a girlfriend in months, it might be time to ask yourself the question: Would you date yourself? Why can't you attract a beautiful woman to be your girlfriend, or at least to have some casual sex with you?

Hold on a second! Before you dive in with your carefully crafted list of reasons why you think women't don't like you, take a moment to consider whether your ability to instantly come up with a list of negatives about yourself is perhaps the reason in itself! When a guy asks me, “Dan, why don't women like me?” one of my first responses is to let him know that if he focuses on what he doesn’t have (or what he thinks he doesn’t have) to offer women, it will then result in him lacking the type of confidence that women find most attractive in men. Guys who focus on what they do have to offer women that is valuable and who focus on who they are, what they’re about and where they are going in life are the ones who have all the social confidence and all the girls. Which guy are you? Do you focus on why women don't like you or why they should like you?

If you are the type of guy who can come up with many reasons why women don't like you or wouldn't like you, then you need to stop doing that to yourself right away. It's harmful to your confidence and self-esteem. From today onwards, you need to start looking at all the reasons why women WOULD like you and you also need to start giving women MORE REASONS to like you.

Do I Have to Become Something I'm Not to Get Women to Like Me?


One of the things that women find most attractive in a man is authenticity. In other words, that you are real and are able to be yourself around her and other people. It sounds like a simple thing to do, “Be yourself” but most guys have a hard time being real and authentic when they interact with women they find attractive. Why? They are afraid that the true version of themselves is not good enough for women, so they put on an act.

As you may have seen, the alpha males who have that raw, easy-going confidence are the ones who always seem to have women lusting after them. Guys who put on an act of confidence may be able to get a bit of initial attraction and interest, but women are always able to see through it after a minute or so of conversation. So, the solution is not to pretend to confident and alpha, but to actually be confident and alpha for real. If you want women to like you, you actually need to be confident for real – it can't be an act. You need to be able to flirt and have great conversations with them for real. You will never succeed with women by trying to learn a quick pick up line or a few witty things to say. It will be your ability to keep a conversation going and keep it interesting anytime and on any topic that will really impress a woman.

What Do I Need to Improve?

Essentially, if you've noticed that women really don't tend to like you much more than a friend, you need to focus on becoming more sexually and emotionally attractive to women. If women don't find you attractive, they just won't be interested – that part of it is pretty simple to explain. Here's a quick comparison table to help you understand what counts when it comes to your attractiveness.

Attractive to women Unattractive to women
Confident behavior. Nervous behavior.
High self-esteem. Low self-esteem.
Good conversationalist. Has trouble keeping a conversation going and keeping it interesting when talking to a woman.
Flirts during conversation. Sticks to polite conversation. Often doesn't even know how to flirt.
Turns a woman on with his body language. Makes a woman feel uncomfortable, tense or turned off by his body language.
Chooses the women he likes. Hopes to be chosen with women.
Alpha male behavior. Lower ranking male behavior.
Mentally and emotionally strong/secure. Mentally and emotionally weak/insecure.
Has many friends. Doesn't have many good friends.
His confidence and high self-esteem shows good potential for him to succeed in life. His fear of women and self-doubt indicate a potentially bad future, troubled life and possible lack of success.
Makes her feel like a woman Places women above him in terms of dominance, therefore making a woman feel like "the man" in the interaction.

Of course, that is not the entire list. There are literally 100s of characteristics that we teach in our programs that all work to make you more sexually and emotionally attractive to women. It is a deep topic of knowledge. The more you learn, the more attractive you become.

By becoming more attractive to women in many ways, you become a more well-rounded guy and it is literally impossible for women not to like you. Let's have a look at the dictionary definition for well-rounded.

Well-rounded (adjective): Having a mature personality and desirably varied interests, abilities, or attainments.

Some of the traits of a well-rounded personality:

  • Self-confidence: Being confident and having high self-confidence does not mean being arrogant. Being self-confident is about having belief in yourself and your abilities. If you don't know how to build self-confidence, watch Dating Power and use our proven Confidence Building System.
  • Sociability: Having a wide range of interests and associated friends indicates your all-round likeability, and having real relationships with real people – not just Facebook friends – says much more about the guy you are than the car you drive or any other material possession you may have. A diverse social circle demonstrates sociability, but having many long-standing friendships also says a lot about your genuine character.
  • Approach to life: A lot of guys wonder why women don't like them, without stopping to think about how boring their approach to life is. They rarely take any risks (e.g. like speaking to a girl they find attractive) and if a great opportunity is in front of them, they will usually allow their fear and self-doubt to convince them to give up or walk away with their tail between their legs. Guys like this hide from their true potential as men and then wonder why women don't think much of them.
  • Forward thinker: You don’t need to have a mortgage and savings in the bank to be planning for your future, but you do need to have goals in life. Knowing your own mind, knowing what you want out of life, and not being afraid to go after it makes you a real catch…and one she doesn’t want to let get away. Women want a man who is thinking about his future and working towards it, rather than just thinking about her and hoping to make her happy. She will be happy when you behave like a real man.

The Best Years of Your Life...Wasting Away

If most of your free time (outside of work or study) is spent sitting alone at home and letting days and nights run away from you, week after week, month after month – then what do you expect will happen? Guys who struggle to get women interested in them are usually the type who avoid socializing and meeting women. Before they know it, they've wasted another year of their life and are still asking the question, “Why don't women like me? What am I doing wrong?”

Often, a guy will avoid meeting new women because he doesn't know what to say or simply lacks the confidence to take a chance and make an approach. The questions these guys need to ask themselves is not, “Why don’t I have a date?” or “Why don't women like me?” but, “Why am I not improving my confidence, conversation skills and attractiveness to women?” and “What am I going to achieve by staying at home and avoiding women out of fear?”

When it comes to finding a girlfriend or wife, getting laid or even just getting a phone number to call and set up a date - Nothing happens until you do something. You have to take a chance and do something. If you don't be a man and take a chance when you see a great opportunity, most, if not all of your life will be spent on the sidelines. Take action. Do what you need to do to succeed.

The Type of Guy That All Women Like

Most guys dream of being the type of man that all women like, but they usually have the wrong idea of what it involves. If you feel like you need to improve your attractiveness to women, then I recommend that you start learning from our programs right away. Before you know it, you'll be one of the guys posting up a success story comment on the site. Or, maybe you're the type of guy who is too afraid to take a chance? Maybe you don't believe that you can do it, even though everyone else is. Which type of guy are you? Are you one to hide from your true potential, or are you willing to take a chance when you see a great opportunity in front of you?