Over the years, many guys have asked me, “Dan, why don't women like me? Can you tell me what I am doing wrong?” and luckily I really do have the answers. So, if you're wondering why you haven’t had sex in months or can't seem to find a nice girl to have a relationship with, it might be time to ask yourself the question: What is it about you that may be turning women off?
Are You a Good Guy With Good Intentions When it Comes to Women?
There's nothing wrong with being a good guy when it comes to women. In fact, that's what we teach here at The Modern Man. However, if your current approach to women doesn't make them feel sexually attracted to you, they aren't going to be very interested. Good guys who are confident and masculine are sexually attractive to women, but good guys who are nervous and shy are sexually unattractive to women. Why? Women are sexually attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness.
To get a woman wanting to be your lover, girlfriend or wife, you first have to make her feel sexually attracted to you by displaying the type of traits that turn women on (e.g. confidence, masculinity). The fastest way to make a woman feel sexual attraction for you is to start being more confident around her. The more confidence that you allow yourself to feel around a woman, the more she will naturally feel attracted to you. However, just believing in yourself and allowing yourself to feel more confident during an interaction will not solve all of your problems with women. If you're like most guys who are struggling with women, you are probably shy, nervous and self-doubting around women, which is sexually unattractive.
Improving on Your Weak Points
Every guy has weak points that he can improve upon (e.g. confidence, conversation, lack of a sexual vibe, etc). Although every guy is unique, the problems that he experiences with women are very similar (or the same) as most other guys that I've helped. So, don't think that you're a special case who can't be fixed: Your problems and issues with women are normal, common and absolutely fixable.
If you tired of wondering, "Why don't women like me?" and would rather be thinking, "Which woman out of the 20 who like me will I allow to be my girlfriend or have sex with me?" then you need to focus on becoming a lot more attractive to women. A woman's attraction for a man is based on many things, but it mostly comes down to your confidence, masculinity (how you think, behave and take action) and your social skills/social intelligence. All of those things are listed below.
|Attractive to women||Unattractive to women|
|Confident behavior.||Shy or nervous behavior.|
|High self-esteem.||Low self-esteem.|
|Good conversationalist.||Has trouble keeping a conversation going and keeping it interesting when talking to a woman.|
|Flirts during conversation.||Sticks to polite conversation out of fear or because he doesn't know how to flirt.|
|Turns a woman on with his body language.||Makes a woman feel uncomfortable, tense or turned off by his body language.|
|Only accepts truly compatible women as his lover or girlfriend.||Hopes to get lucky with pretty much any half-decent woman he meets.|
|Alpha male behavior.||Lower ranking male behavior.|
|Mentally and emotionally strong/secure.||Mentally and emotionally weak/insecure.|
|Has many friends or small group of close friends.||Doesn't have many good friends.|
|Has a life purpose and is going after it with unrelenting determination.||Hides from his true potential as a man out of a fear of failure.|
|Makes a woman feel like a woman (e.g. girly, protected, free to be feminine).||Places women above him in terms of dominance, therefore making a woman feel like "the man" in the interaction.|
Do I Have to Become Something I'm Not to Get Women to Like Me?
Getting women to like you is not about changing who you are deep down as a guy. It's about becoming stronger and more well-rounded (e.g. conversation skills, ability to flirt, confidence, purpose in life, more charismatic, etc) than you already are. Essentially, it's about being yourself, but being a better version of that. You may be able to get a woman to like you temporarily by putting on an act, but she will eventually see through it. If you want women to like you for who you really are, you simply need to improve on who you are already. You have to be the real you, but a better, more stronger and complete version of you.
For example, you may need to learn how to loosen up in social environments and be your real self (instead of putting on a shy, vulnerable persona in a mistaken attempt to get people to treat you in a more gentle way), or you may need to stop being super nice or polite to women and start flirting with them and creating a sexual vibe. Maybe you need to stop being so shy and start being confident when interacting with women. Whatever the case for you, don't ignore the problems that you are experiencing and expect that they will magically go away.
Don't Let the Best Years of Your Life Waste Away
Guys who struggle to get women interested are usually the type who avoid socializing and meeting women as much as possible. Before they know it, another 10 years have passed and they realized that they've just wasted a decade of their life hiding away in fear. At that point, they may still be asking themselves, "Why don't women like me? What am I doing wrong?" not knowing what you are learning right now. You have managed to find my website out of the hundreds of millions of sites online, but the question is, "Are you going to learn from me, or are you going to run away from this opportunity?"
If most of your free time (outside of work or study) is spent sitting alone at home and you are letting your days and nights waste away, week after week, month after month...what do you expect will happen with women? The questions you need to ask yourself are not, “Why don’t I have a date?” or “Why don't women like me?” but, “Why am I not improving my confidence, conversation skills and attractiveness to women?” and “What am I going to achieve by staying at home alone and avoiding women out of fear?” When it comes to finding a lover, girlfriend or wife or even just getting a phone number to call and set up a date; nothing happens until you do something. You have to take a chance and do something. When you see a great opportunity in front of you, don't hide from it...try it. If you hide from the great opportunities that come your way, most of your life will be spent on the sidelines. Take action. Do what you need to do to succeed. Give yourself permission to believe in yourself. If these guys did it, so can you.
I Transformed Myself From a Guy Who Got Rejected or Dumped, to a Man That Women Cannot Resist
I got lucky when I scored my first real girlfriend, but because I was insecure and didn't know how to maintain a happy relationship, she ended up cheating on me and then dumping me. I was devastated and lost a lot of confidence in myself. After being lonely and getting rejected for years, I eventually began to wonder, "Why don't women like me? What is wrong with me?" No-one that I knew had the answers (there weren't any sites like The Modern Man back then), so I had to work it out on my own. Eventually, I worked up the courage to go out approaching women with a friend every weekend until I discovered what I now teach here at The Modern Man. When I discovered what I now teach here at The Modern Man, women began flooding into my life and it has been that way ever since.
When I first broke the news to my girlfriend that I teach guys how to be more successful with women, she asked me, "What exactly do you teach guys?" My answer was simple and it is the secret to success with women, "Confidence." I explained to her that when a guy begins interacting with a woman, she will do all sorts of things to test his confidence (e.g. look him up and down in an uninterested way, not contribute much to the conversation, pretend like she is really difficult to be around, pretend that she isn't interested, etc) to see how confident he really is. If the guy becomes nervous, the woman knows that he isn't mentally and emotionally strong enough to handle a girl like her.
My girlfriend's eyes lit up, she started to laugh and then admitted, "...that's EXACTLY what we do...!" She went onto explain that she is able to determine a guy's confidence very quickly at the beginning of an interaction by simply observing how he responds to her challenging behavior. The reason why her and I are in a committed relationship is that she'd never met a guy who is as confident as I am.
What Would Your Life Be Like if Most Women Really Liked You?
Your lack of success with women is not something that can't be fixed; I help guys fix the same problems that you have with women EVERY day. Two weeks from now, you can be having sex with a woman who is excited to be with you or you can be jerking off to porn and then feeling that lonely, empty afterwards like you usually do. Your choice...