Ugly man with beautiful women. She finds him attractive

What attracts a woman to a man? Most guys assume that women want a handsome, tall, rich man with six-pack abs.

Many of these men also believe that since they weren’t born with the genes of a male model, they will never be able to attract or keep a very beautiful woman unless they somehow win the lottery or add 5 inches to their penis.

So, what is the truth here? Why do women hook up with “ugly” men and how can you get some of that action, even if you’re an average looking or good looking guy? Let’s start with the reaction that guys have when they see a hot woman with an “ugly guy”…

“What the? Why is She With Him?”

Fat guy with beautiful girlfriend. She finds him attractive

Have you ever been walking through a shopping mall and seen an ugly, short or overweight guy with a beautiful woman and thought, “What is she doing with him?” Of course. In our modern society with a media that constantly pushes advertising images of male models with female models, it almost looks WRONG when a hot chick is with an ugly guy in public.

Fat guy with sexy girlfriend

When modern men see this strange phenomena, they usually assume that for a beautiful woman to want to be with a guy who isn’t “tall and handsome” or who doesn’t have “male model” looks, it must be because he is very rich, paying off all her bills of has a penis the size of a baby arm. Yet, in almost all cases, they’d be wrong.


The reason why you will often see beautiful women with an average-looking (or even below-average looking) boyfriend/husband is that most women (not all) choose men for reasons OTHER than looks.

Confidence, Personality and Having the Guts to Approach Her or Ask Her Out

Asian guy with a white woman. She finds him attractive

An ugly guy can get himself a beautiful girlfriend by having the confidence to talk to women, the personality to attract them and the balls to make a move.

Many good looking or average looking guys are simply too afraid to approach and talk to to the women they find attractive. If he does work up the courage or accidentally get an opportunity to talk to an attractive woman, he will usually doubt himself and make all sorts of classic mistakes (e.g. being too nice) that will turn her off.

An Ugly Guy Can’t Pick Up Every Woman

I’m definitely not saying that any “ugly” guy can pick up ANY beautiful woman if he has confidence and attractive personality, but he will be able to pick up some or even many beautiful women.

There are some beautiful women who will NOT hook up with a guy who isn’t good looking. Yet, there are also many beautiful women who WILL hook up with a guy who isn’t “good looking.”

For every picky woman who will only accept a handsome man, there is always another beautiful woman who simply wants a good man who is confident, masculine (in how he thinks, behaves and takes action in life and around her) and is able to make her feel like a real woman in the relationship.

To find himself a beautiful woman, an “ugly” guy needs to be smart enough to know that he won’t be able to attract EVERY woman, but he will be able to attract SOME of the beautiful women he meets. As it turns out, that is the mindset that every guy needs to have if he wants to be successful at approaching and picking up women.

Bald guy with pretty woman. She finds him attractive

If you go through life worrying that you might get rejected by some women, then you are going about dating in the wrong way. No matter how “good looking” a guy is, he will never be romantically compatible with every woman he meets. Yes, many women (not all) will think he is good looking, but they won’t all feel compatible with him.

To be successful at finding the perfect girl, you have to be will to meet many women and not worry if it doesn’t work out with some of them. No man is romantically compatible with every woman on the planet and no woman is romantically compatible with every man on the planet.

That is how nature works. It’s normal for a man and a woman to meet and NOT be romantically compatible. If every man and women were perfectly compatible, no-one would be able to stay in a relationship.

You will be compatible with some women, but not all. You have to accept that if you are going to be confident and strong enough to meet enough women to find the right ones for you.

Millions of Confused Men Who Think They Need to Look Young and Beautiful Like a Woman

Confused men thinking that it's all about looks
If you watch too many TV advertisements or look at enough magazine ads, you may start to believe that women want us men to look as “pretty” as they do. Heck, I fell for that crap, especially after seeing women on TV constantly talking about handsome guys and saying, “Oooooh, he’s so handsome.”

Before I became the confident guy that I now am, I was going through life feeling insecure that beautiful women would never like me because of my mediocre looks. When I interacted with beautiful women, they could sense my insecurity and self-doubt, which turned them off. Why? Women are attracted to the strength in men (e.g. confidence, masculinity) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. nervousness, insecurity, anxiety).

I assumed the women didn’t like me because I wasn’t good looking enough. Yet, what was REALLY happening is that they were turned off by my lack of belief in myself. They could see it all over my body language, hear in how I was talking to them and sense it in my vibe. They KNEW that I didn’t feel like I was worthy of them and that is what really turned them off.

I didn’t realize that it was possible to make beautiful women feel attracted to me for reasons OTHER than looks, so if they rejected me, I simply assumed, “Oh, well…I’m not good looking enough for them.” That’s all I knew because I was another brainwashed modern man who believed the junk I saw in TV and magazine advertisements.

Even though I saw ugly and below-average looking guys with beautiful women, I didn’t see that as real. I saw that as the woman making a mistake or being stupid enough to fall for a guy like that. I didn’t know that she could actually feel attracted to him for OTHER reasons.

Thinking that my lack of success was due to my lack of good looks, I thought to myself, “How can I make myself better looking?” which then resulted in me to spend THOUSANDS of dollars on clothes, colognes, shoes and anything else that I thought might make women see me as good looking. Yet, it didn’t work. Beautiful women still weren’t the slightest bit interested in me.

When I would watch TV, I would see female hosts on shows like Entertainment Tonight and E!News talking about how handsome a guy looked because of his clothes, shoes and haircut, so I thought that I still didn’t have the right clothes and that my looks probably needed to be improved.

What an idiot I was.

I had no idea that a man can attract women in other ways. I thought it was pretty much ALL about looks, money, status and having a huge dick. I was just another brainwashed modern man who thought he was right, but had no idea how wrong he was.

You’re Not a Pretty Little Peacock

Peacock mating dance
In the peacock bird species, the female selects her mate based on how colorful and pretty he is. In case you haven’t noticed, that is not how the human mating dance works.

You don’t have to be all colorful and pretty like a woman and then wait to be selected be her. You are a human man and human women choose men based on their confidence, masculinity (how you think, behave and take action), social intelligence/social skills, personality and your ability to make her feel girly.

Yes, SOME women do actively seek out what they percieve to be a “good looking” man, but MOST women have what I call an Open Type, which means that they are open to hooking up with many different types of guys as long as the guy has the ability to make her feel attracted.

Asian guy marries white girl. She finds him attractive

“But, I’ve Seen Women Looking at Handsome Men and Getting Excited About it…”

Some guys are so insecure about their looks that they cling to evidence that women are only attracted to a guy’s looks. They want to believe that, rather than facing up to their fears and actually approaching and picking up beautiful women.

So, if it’s not all about looks, why do women go gaga over good looking guys sometimes?


It is human nature to look at “pretty things” and admire them. Yet, if a handsome guy approaches a woman and is nervous around her, tries to impress her with a stupid opening line, bores her because he can’t carry on a stimulating conversation or doesn’t display the strong personality traits that a woman wants in a man, it won’t matter what he looks like.

She will instantly forget about his good looks and rapidly begin losing interest. To help highlight this point, here are just some of the 1,000s of messages that I have received over the years from “good looking guys” who can’t even get themselves a girlfriend.

Stop thinking that you're not good enough for women. You ARE good enough

“I am 34, unmarried and lonely. All my life I have been called handsome and cute and whatever although to this date I’ve had sex two times. The first was with a drunk girl I lucked onto at a party and the other was a prostitute. I try talking to women and they seem interested at first but the conversation never goes anywhere.”

“Its impossible to approach women! I walk around the mall for hours on end trying to do it day after day but never doing it. I know everything about attracting women and what to say and do but I still can’t do it. I’m so sick of this. I’m a great looking guy – better looking than 99% of dudes I see, I have a great lifestyle, I’m a fantastic friend and I have good intentions, anybody would be lucky to date me. No matter how p**sed off I get with my situations its never enough to motivate to take the plunge and just say something. It depresses the hell out of me sitting in night after night thinking ‘ok tomorrow I’ll do it’ I’ve come to realisation now I’m just kidding myself I’m never going to do it. I hate seeing an attractive women with some dweeby boyfriend holding hands. What am I doing wrong?? How can I change? Why aren’t my looks helping???”

“I regularly get told that I am good looking and people ask me why I don’t have a girlfriend all the time, but I am yet to have one single girlfriend in my entire life and I am 27. Please Dan I am asking you to help me. I haven’t bought any of your products yet, but I promise I will if you help me.”

“i have very big problem and i hope you can surely help me out.most people including men and women tell me how good looking i am;muscular and very tall but my problem is,i find it very difficult to approach girls even the ugliest.AND also find it difficult too talking to guys.i cant look straight to someones face when talking to.AND this has made feel me so shy when i try to approach women and the woman can just see directly from me so i really need your help.”

I am a very good looking guy, I work out and have a great body, I own my own business but I am am shy when I really like a girl. Where am I going wrong Dan? How can I be the man that women want?”

Did you read through the comments above?

Why aren’t all of those “good looking” guys getting laid or getting a girlfriend? Why are they getting rejected even though women are telling them how handsome they are? The reason is that being “good looking” is NOT the answer to success with women. If it was the answer, you wouldn’t see average and ugly looking guys with beautiful women.

To be successful with women, you have to know how to attract women in MANY different ways (e.g. confidence, masculinity, humor, flirting, etc). You cannot just rely on looking pretty and hoping that women choose you for being such a pretty little girl…I mean guy.

What women look for in a man runs a lot deeper than looks, clothes or shoes. If you only pay attention to the superficial things that women say about “handsome men” or to the bullshit that you see on TV commercials that are trying to sell you “men’s beauty products,” then it’s only natural that you will begin to believe that it’s all about looks.

When you can be one of the smart modern men who have the intelligence to focus on the real version of reality that you see around you every day (i.e. ugly, fat, short, bald men with beautiful women), you will then realize that there is a lot more to attraction than women and the media have led you to believe.

Nerdy guy with a beautiful girlfriend

You really can attract, pick up, have sex with and even MARRY a beautiful woman without being a good looking guy with a perfect gym body. It really is true. It’s up to you whether you decide to believe that now or in 30 years when you look back on your life with regret.

Yes…some women ONLY want a guy with big muscles.

Yes…some women ONLY want a guy who looks like a male model.

Yet, most women have what I call an Open Type, meaning that they are opening to being with different types of guys as long as the guy can make her feel attracted. It really is true.

Fat guy with hot girlfriend. She finds him attractive

If you think that you’re not good enough for women and make the mistake of accepting an unattractive woman because that’s all you think you deserve, then you will be making a HUGE mistake that you will regret for life. You CAN attract and keep a beautiful woman even if you think you aren’t good looking enough.

It’s actually a lot easier than you might think…

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