What attracts a woman to a man? Most guys assume that women want a handsome, tall, rich man with six-pack abs.
Many of these men also believe that since they weren't born with the genes of a male model, they will never be able to attract or keep a very beautiful woman unless they somehow win the lottery or add 5 inches to their penis. So, what is the truth here? Why do women hook up with "ugly" men and how can you get some of that action, even if you're average looking or good looking? Let's start with the reaction that guys have when they see a hot woman with an "ugly guy"...
"What the? Why is She With Him?"
Have you ever been walking through a shopping mall and seen an ugly, short or overweight guy with a beautiful woman and thought, "What is she doing with him?" Of course. In our modern society with a media that constantly pushes advertising images of male models with female models, it looks odd when a hot chick is with an ugly guy in public.
When modern men see this strange phenomena, they usually assume that for a beautiful woman to want to be with a guy who isn’t "tall and handsome" or who doesn’t have "male model" looks, it must be because he is very rich, paying off all her bills of has a penis the size of a baby arm. Yet, in almost all cases, they'd be wrong. Why? The reason why you will often see beautiful women with an average-looking (or even below-average looking) boyfriend/husband is that most women (not all) choose men for reasons OTHER than looks. Really, it's true.
If you can't accept that fact of life, then you're not ready to learn the truth about attraction and get on with being successful with women. Instead, you may be at a stage in life where you're not ready to have sex or a relationship with beautiful women because you want to believe the bullshit that is fed to you via media advertising. To you, it might feel safer to hide from beautiful women and believe that it's all about looks, money, height, race or some other excuse that you use. You might be afraid that if you do get a beautiful woman into a relationship, you will end up ruining it, getting dumped and feeling worse about yourself and your attractiveness to women.
Confidence, Personality and Having the Guts to Approach Her or Ask Her Out
Ugly guys get action with women by giving it a go, while other guys sit back and just look at women and watch them walk by. It's like what Bill Rancic (the winner of The Apprentice show with Donald Trump) always says, "You don't have to be the smartest guy in the room, but you have to work the hardest." The same applies to women. You don't have to be the best looking guy in the room, but you've got to approach and give it go.
When you see a beautiful woman with an "ugly" or average looking guy, he will have attracted her with his personality. She will have felt impressed and attracted at his confidence for having the balls to approach her or ask her out. This alpha male approach that any guy can use, is naturally attractive to women. They are hard-wired to respond to guys who have and display alpha male traits because alpha males are usually better survivors, better protectors and better lovers.
If the ugly guy and hot woman remain together in a relationship for a lifetime or for a very long time, it will usually be because he maintained belief in his attractiveness and value to her. If he is also what women refer to as a "real man," it will mean that he has a strong life purpose and is not basing his life on her. She is a big part of his life, but the most important thing will be rising through the levels of life and achieving his true purpose as a man.
Many guys are surprised to realize that women actually want it that way. Women want to be with a man who goes after his true potential in life and doesn't hide from his dreams behind her and the relationship. Women want a man that they can look up to, respect and remain attracted to. If he isn't good looking, most women really don't care. What's most important is that he is a man and is going to go after big things in life, protect her and provide for any offspring they have together.
An Ugly Guy Can't Pick Up Every Woman
I'm definitely not saying that any "ugly" guy can pick up any beautiful woman if he has confidence, personality, balls and a purpose in life that is bigger and more important than any of the women he is meeting. There are many women who will not hook up with a guy who doesn't have blonde hair, isn't 6ft tall or doesn't drive a BMW. However, for every one of those picky women there is another beautiful woman who just wants a good man who is confident, masculine (in how he thinks, behaves and takes action in life and around her) and is able to make her feel like a real woman in the relationship.
To find himself a beautiful woman, an "ugly" guy needs to have the mindset that he won't be able to attract every woman, but he will be able to attract many of the women he meets. As it turns out, that is the mindset that every guy needs to have to be successful with women. If you go through life worrying that you might get rejected by some women, then you are going about dating in the wrong way. The truth is that no matter how "good looking" you are, you (and any other guy) are never going to be compatible with every woman you meet. To be successful at finding the perfect girl, you have to be prepared to meet many women and not worry if it doesn't work out with some of them.
Millions of Confused Men Who Think They Need to Look Young and Beautiful Like a Woman
If you watch too many TV advertisements or look at enough magazine ads, you may start to believe that women want us men to look as “pretty” as they do. Heck, I fell for that bullshit, especially after seeing women on Tv constantly talking about handsome guys and saying, "Oooooh, he's so handsome." Before I became the guy I now am, I was going through life thinking that beautiful women would never like me because of my mediocre looks. When I interacted with beautiful women, they could sense my insecurity and self-doubt, which turned them off even more. Why? Women are attracted to the strength in men (e.g. confidence, masculinity) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. nervousness, insecurity, anxiety).
The crazy advertisements that you see on TV for "men's beauty" products are part of the reason why the "Metrosexual" trend began. All of sudden, confused men began waxing their chest, getting pedicures, facials, plucking their eyebrows and so on. Desperate to look good for the ladies, men began buying expensive shoes, clothes and colognes in the hope that they would look good enough for modern women. Yet, all along, ugly and average looking guys who understand how attraction between men and women really works, just got on with having sex and enjoying relationships with beautiful women.
These days, most guys don't have great male role models in their life who are actively teaching them the truth about women, attraction and how to be a man, so they usually fall victim to believing the messages from advertisements on TV. For example: The "Nivea For Men" ads that tell a man he needs to look "young" and "fresh" so that women will like him, or that if he wears the right scent of deodorant he will suddenly become attractive to women.
Ridiculous, but that's what we modern men have to deal with. You've got to learn to screen that crap out and see the real version of reality around you. If you don't, the manipulative messages in TV advertisements will make you insecure for life.
You're Not a Pretty Little Peacock
In the peacock bird species, the female selects her mate based on how colorful and pretty he is. In case you haven't noticed, that is not how the human mating dance works. You don't have to be all colorful and pretty like a woman or a trannie dancing in Rio for the Carnivale. You're a man and women select men based on their confidence, masculinity (how you think, behave and take action), social intelligence/social skills, personality and your ability to make her feel girly.
Yes, some women do actively seek out what they percieve to be a "good looking" man, but think about it...
Do you think that Adriana Lima (the supermodel pictured earlier in the article) thinks that her husband is handsome. Of course she does. Physical attraction is a very weird thing and what some people see as ugly, others see as sexy and appealing. In the case of Adriana Lima and Marko Jaric, she most likely feels mostly attracted to his confidence, masculinity, social intelligence, personality and ability to make her feel girly. She could have easily hooked up with a male model, but she chose a man with eye so close together, he almost looks like Cyclops!
"But, I've Seen Women Looking at Handsome Men and Getting Excited About it..."
Some guys are so insecure about their looks that they cling to evidence that women are only attracted to a guy's looks. They want to believe it, rather than facing up to their fears and actually approaching and picking up beautiful women.
So, why do women go gaga over good looking guys sometimes? Simple. It is human nature to look at “pretty things” and admire them. However, if a handsome guy approaches a woman and is nervous around her, tries to impress her with a stupid opening line, bores her because he can’t carry on a stimulating conversation or doesn’t display the strong personality traits that a woman wants in a man, it won't matter what he looks like. She will instantly forget about his good looks and rapidly begin losing interest. To help highlight this point, here are just some of the 1,000s of messages that I have received over the years from "good looking guys" who can't even get themselves a girlfriend.
“I am 34, unmarried and lonely. All my life I have been called handsome and cute and whatever although to this date I've had sex two times. The first was with a drunk girl I lucked onto at a party and the other was a prostitute. I try talking to women and they seem interested at first but the conversation never goes anywhere.”
“Its impossible to approach women! I walk around the mall for hours on end trying to do it day after day but never doing it. I know everything about attracting women and what to say and do but I still can’t do it. I’m so sick of this. I’m a great looking guy - better looking than 99% of dudes I see, I have a great lifestyle, I’m a fantastic friend and I have good intentions, anybody would be lucky to date me. No matter how p**sed off I get with my situations its never enough to motivate to take the plunge and just say something. It depresses the hell out of me sitting in night after night thinking ‘ok tomorrow I’ll do it’ I’ve come to realisation now I’m just kidding myself I’m never going to do it. I hate seeing an attractive women with some dweeby boyfriend holding hands. What am I doing wrong?? How can I change? Why aren't my looks helping???”
“I regularly get told that I am good looking and people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend all the time, but I am yet to have one single girlfriend in my entire life and I am 27. Please Dan I am asking you to help me. I haven't bought any of your products yet, but I promise I will if you help me.”
“i have very big problem and i hope you can surely help me out.most people including men and women tell me how good looking i am;muscular and very tall but my problem is,i find it very difficult to approach girls even the ugliest.AND also find it difficult too talking to guys.i cant look straight to someones face when talking to.AND this has made feel me so shy when i try to approach women and the woman can just see directly from me so i really need your help.”
“I am a very good looking guy, I work out and have a great body, I own my own business but I am am shy when I really like a girl. Where am I going wrong Dan? How can I be the man that women want?”
Did you read through the comments above?
Why aren't all of those "good looking" guys getting laid or getting a girlfriend? Why are they getting rejected even though women are telling them how handsome they are? The reason is that being “good looking” is NOT the answer to success with women. If it was the answer, you wouldn't see average and ugly looking guys with beautiful women.
What women look for in a man runs a lot deeper than looks, clothes or shoes. If you only pay attention to the superficial things that women say about "handsome men" or to the bullshit that you see on TV commercials that are trying to sell you "men's beauty products," then it's only natural that you will begin to believe that it's all about looks. However, if you focus on the real version of reality that you see around you (i.e. ugly, fat, short, bald men with beautiful women), you will realize that there is a lot more to attraction than the media has led you to believe.