What attracts a woman to a man? Most guys will automatically think that women want a handsome, tall, rich man with six-pack abs.
These men will also believe that since they don't have the genes of a male model, they will never be able to attract or keep a beautiful woman unless they somehow win the lottery or add 5 inches to their penis. However the reality of what women really want in a man, no matter what he looks like, will probably surprise you.
"Why is She With Him?"
Have you ever been walking through a shopping mall and seen an ugly, short or fat guy with a beautiful woman and thought, "What is she doing with him?" and wondered what special trait he might have that attracted the woman in the first place and also managed to keep her interested?
Most guys automatically assume that for a beautiful woman to want to be with a guy who isn’t "tall and handsome" or who doesn’t have "male model" looks, it must be because he is rich, paying off all her bills of had a penis the size of a baby arm. Yet, in almost all cases, they'd be wrong in their assumptions. Why? The reason why you will often see beautiful women with an average-looking (or even below-average looking) boyfriend/husband is that women choose men for reasons OTHER THAN looks. Really, it's true.
If you can't accept that fact of life, then you're not ready to learn the truth about attraction and get on with being successful with women. Instead, you may be at a stage in life where you're not ready to have sex or a relationship with beautiful women. To you, it feels safer to hide from beautiful women and believe that it's all about looks, money, height, race or some other excuse that you use. You are afraid that if you do get a beautiful woman into a relationship, you might end up ruining it (e.g. by becoming clingy) and that would make you feel even worse if she dumped you for it.
So, what is the ugly guy's secret to success with women? The short answer is confidence, but it's a bit more complicated than that. When you see a beautiful woman with an "ugly" or average looking guy, he most-likely got her by believing in himself and allowing his true personality to attract her and maintain her interest. If they remain together in a relationship for a lifetime or for a very long time, it will usually be because he maintained belief in his attractiveness and value to her.
In most cases, guys like this will also have a strong life purpose and will not base their life on the woman. He won't hide from his true potential as a man behind her and the relationship and will instead rise through the levels of life to reach his true potential as a man. A guy like this will love his woman deeply and will have a great relationship with her, but his purpose in life will be his #1 focus. Many guys are surprised to realize that women actually WANT it that way; they want to be with a man who goes after his true potential in life and doesn't hide from his dreams. Women want a man that they can look up to, respect and remain attracted to.
A real man (it doesn't matter if he is ugly, average or good looking) is able to keep his woman (beautiful or not) in a happy relationship by maintaining his self-belief and by rising through the levels of life to reach for his true potential as a man. He ensures that he gives plenty of love, attention and affection to his woman, but both he and she know that he is a man with or without her. If they broke up, he would be just as strong and would be able to attract another quality woman immediately. His life wouldn't end if she wasn't in it, but if the love is real, he will do everything he can to keep the relationship together and work through any tough times they experience together.
An Ugly Guy Can't Pick Up Every Woman
I'm definitely not saying that any "ugly" guy can pick up any beautiful woman. There are many women who don't want to be with a guy who doesn't have blonde hair, isn't more than 6ft in height or doesn't drive a BMW. However, for every one of those picky women there is another beautiful woman who just wants a good man who is confident, masculine (in how he thinks, behaves and takes action in life and around her) and is able to make her feel like a real woman.
To find himself a beautiful woman, an "ugly" guy needs to have the mindset that he won't be able to attract every woman, but he will be able to attract many of the women he meets. As it turns out, that is the mindset that every guy needs to have to be successful with women. If you go through life worrying that you might get rejected by some women, then you're going about dating in the wrong way. The fact is that no matter how "good looking" you are, you are not going to be compatible with every woman you meet. To be successful at finding the perfect girl, you have to be prepared to meet many women and not worry if it doesn't work out with some of them.
Millions of Confused Men Who Think They Need to Look Young and Beautiful Like a Woman
If you watch too many TV advertisements or look at enough magazine ads, you might start to believe that women want us men to look as “pretty” as they do. The crazy advertisements for unnecessary "men's beauty" products are part of the reason why the "Metrosexual" trend began. All of sudden, confused men began waxing their chest, getting pedicures, facials, plucking their eyebrows and so on. They began buying loads of expensive shoes, clothes and colognes in the hope that they would look good enough for women. Yet, all along, ugly and average looking guys who understand how attraction between men and women really works, just got on with having sex and enjoying relationships with beautiful women.
Most men don't have male role models in their life who are actively teaching them the truth about women, attraction and how to be a man, so they often fall victim to believing the idiotic advertisements on TV. For example: The "Nivea For Men" ads that tell a man he needs to look "young" and "fresh" so that women will like him, or that if he wears the right deodorant he will suddenly become attractive to women.
Unfortunately, most guys just don't understand how women tick and they go through life hoping to get lucky or hoping that women suddenly start feeling attracted to confused nice guys who have good intentions, but don't have the slightest clue about what women really want. They don't realize that in the human mating dance, it is the women who need to dress up and look pretty for us men, while we men need to display confidence and be strong for women.
What most modern men don’t understand is that most women don’t care about the "gift wrapping" a man comes in; they just a real man, balls to bones. For a woman, the greatest gift a man can give her is his ability to make her feel like a real woman and be the sort of man that she can fall more deeply in love with over time. Real men know that it isn't not their looks that will attract and keep a woman, but it is their mental and emotional strength (i.e. confidence, lack of insecurity, alpha male thinking, etc.). A guy might be ugly, but if he has the sort of qualities that women REALLY look for in a man, she will fall in love with who he is, not what he looks like.
"But, I've Seen Women Looking at Handsome Men and Getting Excited About it..."
It is human nature to look at “pretty things” and admire them. However, if a handsome guy approaches a woman and is nervous around her, tries to impress her with a stupid opening line, bores her because he can’t carry on a stimulating conversation or doesn’t display the strong personality traits that a woman wants in a man, it won't matter what he looks like. She will instantly forget about his good looks and rapidly begin losing interest. To help highlight this point, here are just some of the 1,000s of messages that I have received over the years from "good looking guys" who can't even get themselves a girlfriend.
“I am 34, unmarried and lonely. All my life I have been called handsome and cute and whatever although to this date I've had sex two times. The first was with a drunk girl I lucked onto at a party and the other was a prostitute. I try talking to women and they seem interested at first but the conversation never goes anywhere.”
“Its impossible to approach women! I walk around the mall for hours on end trying to do it day after day but never doing it. I know everything about attracting women and what to say and do but I still can’t do it. I’m so sick of this. I’m a great looking guy - better looking than 99% of dudes I see, I have a great lifestyle, I’m a fantastic friend and I have good intentions, anybody would be lucky to date me. No matter how p**sed off I get with my situations its never enough to motivate to take the plunge and just say something. It depresses the hell out of me sitting in night after night thinking ‘ok tomorrow I’ll do it’ I’ve come to realisation now I’m just kidding myself I’m never going to do it. I hate seeing an attractive women with some dweeby boyfriend holding hands. What am I doing wrong?? How can I change? Why aren't my looks helping???”
“I regularly get told that I am good looking and people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend all the time, but I am yet to have one single girlfriend in my entire life and I am 27. Please Dan I am asking you to help me. I haven't bought any of your products yet, but I promise I will if you help me.”
“i have very big problem and i hope you can surely help me out.most people including men and women tell me how good looking i am;muscular and very tall but my problem is,i find it very difficult to approach girls even the ugliest.AND also find it difficult too talking to guys.i cant look straight to someones face when talking to.AND this has made feel me so shy when i try to approach women and the woman can just see directly from me so i really need your help.”
“I am a very good looking guy, I work out and have a great body, I own my own business but I am am shy when I really like a girl. Where am I going wrong Dan? How can I be the man that women want?”
Why aren't those "good looking" guys getting laid or getting a girlfriend? Why are they getting rejected even though women are telling them how handsome they are? The reason is that being “good looking” is NOT the answer to success with women. If it was the answer, you wouldn't see average and ugly looking guys with beautiful women, would you? Additionally, most women don't care whether a man is wearing designer clothes or has expensive jewellery. What women look for in a man runs a lot deeper than that. If you only pay attention to the superficial things that women say about "handsome men" or to what you hear in TV advertisements, you will naturally begin to believe that it's all about looks. Yet, if you focus on the reality that you see around you (i.e. ugly, fat, short, bald men with beautiful women), you will realize that there is a lot more to attraction than you once believed. The truth is, a man's confidence and personality is his biggest weapon for attracting women, whereas a woman's appearance is her biggest draw card. It's just the way that human attraction works.