Who wears the pants in a relationship?

In almost 100% of cases, a woman will lose interest in having sex with a boyfriend/husband who let's her "wear the pants in the relationship."

These days, women are encouraged to take charge of their life and men are usually encouraged to step aside and let women reign supreme. You'll see this talked about on TV shows, written into the storyline of movies and even while scanning the headlines of the front of women's magazines as you wait in line at a supermarket checkout.

Additionally, most people will tell you that 50/50 relationships are the way to go. They'll say, “You and your girlfriend (or wife) should be equal partners,” and recommend that neither of you be more dominant than the other. If you buy into the passing cultural fad that relationships should be 50/50, you too will be sucked into the same unhappiness that many people are experiencing in relationships today. Relationships that are 50/50 do not and have never delivered true happiness and lasting sexual attraction between a man and a woman. It's just not how nature works.

At The Modern Man, we believe in the traditional balance of power in a relationship where the man is clearly more dominant and masculine than the woman. It's not about bossing a woman around and being overly domineering, but it is about being the man, (a.k.a. the leader) in a relationship. She's your girl and you are her man. Regardless of what naïve people say during the passing cultural fad that society is currently going through regarding relationships, deep down, a woman does not want to be with a man who lets her wear the pants. Some women will get into a relationship with a man like that because they can't find a real man, but she will never truly love, respect and feel an attraction for him as much as she would for a man who stands his ground.

She Wants to Relax into Your Masculine Direction

Most women want to know that their man is taking care of them. They want to know that he is the one who is steering the direction of where they are headed and how they are going to get there. She wants to support you and help you achieve whatever it is that you want for the two of you. Knowing that you have a plan, a direction and also have the confidence, drive and integrity to see it through, allows her to relax into her feminine role and be your girl, rather than your buddy or “partner” in the relationship.

So, Do I Need to Take Charge of Everything?

Absolutely not. Allowing your woman to take charge of certain things is good for both of you. For instance, she may be the one who does the cooking (usually sticking to dishes that she knows you love) and keeping your place neat and tidy. So in that case, she may be “in charge” of those activities. You, on the other hand, might be the one who handles taking care of your vehicles, finances and the one who plans where you’re going when you go out, what restaurants to eat at, what friends you will hang out with as a couple and so forth.

Of course, it’s also possible that those roles occasionally get switched around and that is absolutely fine. For instance, many guys love to cook. In fact, the majority of the great chefs of the world are men, so if you love to cook or even want to whip up a meal occasionally, that’s fine too. It’s also possible that she’s better at math and record-keeping so keeping your books and finances in order might fall to her, but you also need to make sure that she keeps you constantly informed as to what’s happening with the money that you share.

If there is a task, duty or chore that you don’t care about at all, allow her to be in charge and take responsibility for it. But that should only be for the minor areas of your life together that you don’t care about. After all, by giving her those duties, it will free up time for you to enjoy doing things you love to do or, more importantly, work towards achieving your life purpose and rising through the levels of your true potential as a man.

Basically, depending on the task, who does what and when also will often be determined by who has the time, expertise and ability to handle what needs to get done. The person who is “in charge” of a certain task can change from time to time depending on what’s happening in your lives at any given moment. But overall, when it comes to the truly important aspects of your relationship with your woman, you need to “take charge” and be the man that she can consistently rely on and respect. If you break a promise and don't follow through, your woman will never forget it. If you're going to be a real man who maintains the respect, love and attraction of his woman, you need to live with integrity by following through on what you said you were going to do.

She Doesn't Want to Feel More Masculine Than You

These days, many women have important jobs in the business world and commands respect in the work environment, but when she walks through your front door, you are the boss. She expects that, wants that and appreciates that from her boyfriend/husband.

You are the one who decides what you’re going to do on dates and how quickly or slowly your relationship is going to advance. If you want to kiss her on the first date or first encounter, you do it. You don't become hesitant and look to get her approval – you just do what you want. To the surprise of most guys, women actually appreciate and desperately want to be on the receiving end of that type of confidence from a man. These days, most guys are too afraid to make a move because they have been sucked in by all dramatized behavior of women in TV advertising, on TV sitcoms and in movies. They fear that the nasty women they often see represented on TV is what women are like in the real world, but you need to separate TV or movie entertainment and drama from actual reality. The entertainment you see on TV is not your education on life. It's only meant to amuse and entertain you. If you want an education on how to be truly successful with women, come to The Modern Man and learn. What we discuss here isn't entertainment. This is real.

Who Should Do What...and When?

In a committed relationship where you and your girlfriend or wife live together, you should set some time aside together to come up with a “to do” list of all the jobs, tasks and activities that need to be done to keep your lives running smoothly together (e.g. paying bills, making appointments, cooking, cleaning, vehicle maintenance, etc.). Obviously, you should not let her boss you into doing more than you need to. In fact, you should really put her to work on a lot of tasks.

Personally speaking, I've found that women like to be kept busy with lots of things to do, as long as they are rewarded with great sex for their good behavior. If a woman is going to continue to put in a lot of work to make you happy, you'd better be sure that you're actually being a real man and making her truly happy and deepening her love, attraction and respect for you. If you don't know how to do that, watch Better Than a Bad Boy.

Of course, you may occasionally ask for her input on restaurants, clubs and movies, but if she respects you as a man and knows that you’re in charge, she will usually turn the decision back to you anyway because she wants to make you happy and she wants to be your girl. She feels great being your girl and the idea of bossing you around seems crazy to her. She cherishes the fact that for once in her life she is actually with a real man and can relax into his masculine direction.

The Real Test

Now, don't think achieving this proper balance of power is as easy as saying, “I'm the man” and your woman will then accept that and become a submissive girl for you for life. Women will ALWAYS test to check if you are still the most masculine one in the relationship. If you fail the tests of your masculinity when you first meet a woman, she will not feel an attraction for you. If you fail the tests on a date, she will lose interest. If you fail them in a relationship, she will lose interest in sex, turn into a nagging girlfriend/wife and will generally feel irritated and frustrated when around you.

If you don't know how to pass a woman's tests and continue being the strong, masculine man who can effortlessly maintain a woman's attraction, love and respect, I recommend you watch Better Than a Bad Boy. In the program, I explain the many tests that women put men through and how to pass them with ease. Each time you pass a woman's tests, it deepens her love, respect and attraction for you as a man. When you can do that, you and your woman will experience true and lasting love, attraction and respect for each other. It is a completely different relationship than those who have bought into the “50/50”relationship junk are experiencing out there. Those couples aren't having sex, are on anti-depressants and basically just live together to share the bills.

If you want true love and true happiness, you have to do it right. At The Modern Man, we believe the path to success in relationships begins with adopting the traditional balance of power where you are the more dominant one in the relationship.