The Consequences of Not Being an Alpha Male
For instance, a lot of introverted guys mistakenly assume that, in order to be considered an alpha male, they need to go around dominating everyone all the time. However, being an alpha male is about being confident, masculine and going after what you want in life, without hiding away in fear. You don't have to go around dominating people to do that. At times, you do need to take on a leadership role, but being a leader is not about domination. The most effective leaders are the ones who empower others to work with them to achieve common goals.
If You're Not Alpha, Then You Are Not the Most Attractive You Can Be to Women
Lower-ranking males can't naturally attract the type of desirable women that alpha males attract because women are turned off by their insecure, nervous, shy and hesitant behavior. A lower-ranking male human can "get lucky" at times, but that doesn't mean his woman will love him or feel as much attraction for him as she would for an alpha male. She'll always have a “wandering eye” when she sees alpha males and the lower-ranking male will notice that about her. He may then begin behaving in a jealous and insecure way and might even become overly-protective of her in fear of losing her.
The Alpha Male, Beta Male and Omega Male
Generally speaking, the lower-ranking a male is (the lowest being an omega male), the more prone he will be to experiencing nervousness, anxiety and fear around people. Why? Nervousness and anxiety is created by your own thinking. If you think like a lower-ranking male, you will experience nervousness and anxiety. Likewise, the more alpha a guy is, the more he will be prone to experiencing a state of confidence, self-assurance and fearlessness around people.
Here is a basic list of the three different types of males starting with the alpha male and the expected psychological benefit or consequence of his ranking. In the area of study called ethology, there are six different labels for rank (alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon and omega), but most studies focus on the following three. To include all six usually just makes things unnecessarily complicated.
|Alpha male||1st in command.||High levels of social confidence and self-assurance. Determined, not held back by fear, comfortably takes the lead.|
|Beta male||2nd in command.||Mild levels of social confidence and self-assurance. Mild levels of insecurity, nervousness and fear in social situations. Follows the lead of the alpha male because he is either too afraid or lacks the confidence and belief in himself to be the leading male.|
|Omega male||Lowest ranking male.||Low to very low levels of social confidence and self-assurance. High levels of insecurity, nervousness and fear in social situations. Follows the lead of the alpha male and beta male because he is too afraid and lacks the confidence and belief in himself to be the leading male or even the second in command.|
Bad Guy Alpha Males vs. Good Guy Alpha Males
For a guy who isn't an alpha male, it can be very frustrating, disappointing and confusing when he sees alpha males having their pick of beautiful women, especially if the alphas appear less intelligent than him or if they behave like jerks around women. It can lead him to conclude that women mustn't like good guys and would prefer to be with bad boys who have more brawn than brains.
I often get contacted by guys here at The Modern Man who complain to me about how they often see women hooking up with jerks and bad boys. However, what these guys fail to realize is that women are attracted to their alpha male traits (e.g. confidence, masculinity, etc.), but would sincerely prefer that the bad boy was also a good guy. The absolute truth of the matter is that most women do NOT want to be in a relationship with a bad person, but they are so attracted to alpha male traits that they sometimes put up with a jerk or a bad boy just so they can experience the amazing feelings they enjoy in response to his alpha male traits, behavior and actions.
Here's another way of explaining it....
Are you attracted to the sexy (let's face it “slutty”) women in pornographic movies? Do you find beautiful strippers sexy when they dance on stage and show off their perfect bodies? Of course you do! (If you don't, then you probably aren't into women at all.) However, if you're like most guys, would you PREFER it if a woman who is as sexy as a stripper or porn star but who could also be a nice, loyal, caring girl? Even though you'd prefer her to be a nice, trustworthy girl so you could have a successful relationship with her, if you had a chance to have sex with her for a while, you probably would anyway, right? After that, however, you might then try to “change her” and turn her into a “good girl,” right?
The same applies to women.
When they come across guys who are alpha, they cannot help but feel intense attraction even if the man isn't the nicest guy in the world in the same way that we men cannot help feeling attraction for sexy women...even though they might not be the best choice for a relationship either.
Women go with their emotions (attraction, lust, love) and hope that once they snag a “bad” alpha male they can change him and get him to treat them better. They want to be with a guy who is alpha because it causes them to feel the most amount of sexual attraction, but that doesn't mean they want to be with a bad man who will treat them badly. They just want to be around him because of his confidence, masculinity and alpha male behavior. The same applies to most guys who hook up with “bad girls” (i.e. strippers) where they hope to eventually change her and turn her into the perfect girlfriend/wife.
Now, even though I've explained it several times above, I know that some guys will be reading and thinking, “So, does that mean I should become a bad boy alpha male or behave like a jerk around women while being alpha? Is that the secret to attracting women?”
Being GOOD is GOOD. The fact is, when a woman comes across an alpha male who is ALSO a good guy, she will hold tight to him like no other man. That is the type of guy that women REALLY want and when a woman meets a guy like that, she will instantly know how lucky she is to have found him. Even if he has a girlfriend or wife (although I disapprove of women who get involved with married men or who are in a relationship), some women will try to snag him for herself. Women all over the world know how rare it is to come across an alpha male who is also a good guy and isn't already tied down in a relationship with another beautiful woman.
The same applies for us men. When a guy comes across a beautiful, sexy woman who is also intelligent, easy-going and down-to-earth and who also happens to be SINGLE, he can't believe his luck and does whatever he can to snag her for himself. However, such women are the most sought-after (and they know that) so they will settle for nothing less than an alpha male. A woman like that does not have to settle for a mildly-confident beta male or a nervous omega male. She wants an alpha male and will be desperate to meet one and secure him into a committed relationship before she gets too old. Women know that once they start looking old, it becomes more and more difficult to attract alpha males who can have any type of woman they want and who usually go for the younger, prettier ones (or at least the mature ones who look youthful and who have retained their beauty).
So, what are some of the consequences of not being an alpha male and what can be learned from it?
Consequence #1: Attraction vs. Repulsion
When an alpha male walks into a room, heads often turn and women are attracted to the confidence and energy he naturally emits. Whether he is a good guy alpha male or a bad boy alpha male, they are instinctively drawn to him because of their feelings of natural attraction.
The lower-ranking male, on the other hand, may also turn heads but for all the wrong reasons. He’s often considered a joke and women either avoid him or poke fun at him. They are naturally repulsed by him because of his nervousness, insecurity and hesitant behavior. The attention he attracts (if he’s noticed at all) is usually neutral and sometimes negative unless he is needed for something or people have to be nice to him (i.e. in a work environment, restaurant, etc.).
Consequence #2: Confident vs. Nervous Approach
The alpha male will spot a woman he wants and will approach her with confidence. He won't think about it, he'll just do it because he does what he wants to do and he knows that women find him attractive. She will sense his confidence and masculinity and will naturally feel a deep and irresistible attraction for him. The type of attraction she will feel is just like the attraction you feel when looking at a sexy porn star or stripper. You just can't help it – you're attracted and you want her. Even if the woman isn't the perfect woman for a relationship, you can't help but feel intense attraction and want to do something about it. That's the same thing that happens when a woman encounters a real alpha male.
Conversely, a lower-ranking male will spot a woman and usually spends so much time trying to figure out the best way to approach her that by the time he builds up his nerve, or comes up with a “special line” he thinks will impress her, she’ll either have left the area or when he does approach her, she’ll recognize how nervous he is and will either reject him or ignore him completely. Of course, there are some lower-ranking males who get so freaked out at the mere thought of even walking up to a woman they’re attracted to that they talk themselves out of doing it and, once again, they go home alone and frustrated.
If that happens to you, I recommend you watch Alpha Male Power and discover the ONLY cure for approach anxiety that is guaranteed to work for every guy who uses it. As with all of the techniques included in our programs here at The Modern Man, it was successfully tested for YEARS with real clients before being released as advice on our site.
Consequence #3: Dynamic vs. Disastrous Dates
When an alpha male goes out on a date, he naturally chooses what he and his lady are going to be doing. During the date, he’ll be himself and won't make any apologies for it. His girl, in turn, loves whatever he’s chosen for them to do and will do whatever she can to keep him interested. The alpha male knows that no matter what they do on the date, she is going to rapt and excited to be in his presence, so everything is going to feel better, look better, taste better and so on. She won't really care where they go or what they do as long as she gets to be with him.
On the other hand, if a lower-ranking male is lucky enough to get a date, even with a woman that an alpha male wouldn’t look twice at, he’ll usually spend hours nervously worrying about where to go for the date and if it will be enough to impress her. Often, he’ll be so afraid that he’s going to choose the wrong thing, he’ll ask for her input...repeatedly. Since he wants (and needs) her approval (because he isn't alpha and naturally doesn't take the lead), he’ll constantly check with her during the date to see if everything they’re doing is to her liking.
If she says anything negative about any aspect of the date, even if it is something out of his control or something very minor, it will put him into a state of panic and he'll feel like he is losing her and must try even harder to impress her. He’ll then try, usually unsuccessfully, to “fix” whatever she mentioned and repeatedly apologize whether it was his “fault” or not. This will make her feel uncomfortable for having said anything at all because most people do not like being responsible for making another person nervous, fearful or anxious. From then on, she’ll likely shut down and avoid saying much at all in fear of how he is going to react if she says something that he might interpret as a negative comment.
Needless to say, since the date is a bust, she’ll often come up with an excuse to end it as soon as possible and he won’t be able to convince her to go out with him ever again. Of course after a disastrous date like that, a lower-ranking male will have lost so much confidence in himself that he likely will be too scared to approach her or any other woman for a very long time. Additionally, since he doesn't even know how to think, behave and act like an alpha male and doesn't understand the negative consequences of being a lower-ranking male, he will incorrectly assume that maybe he isn't good looking enough, isn't tall enough or some other irrelevant garbage like that, which will make him even more insecure about approaching another woman.
Consequence #4: Affection vs. Alienation
As the date progresses, an alpha male will be able to read his lady’s body language and obvious desire for him, so getting physical with her will just be a natural progression for them both.
The lower-ranking male, on the other hand, will usually be too afraid to even hold his date's hand as they are walking along, much less kiss her or suggest going back to his place to be alone. If he does think she might be responsive to having any type of mild physical contact with him, no matter how innocent it may be, most lower-ranking males will make the mistake of first asking her permission (like some gentleman from a movie about the early 1900s) and turn a very natural progression into something very awkward and weird for both of them.
Do You Have to Be Born as An Alpha Male to Be One?
While it may seem to some lower-ranking men that they have been horribly unlucky not to have been “born” with the positive attributes of an alpha male, the fact is that all of an alpha's skills with women and in life can be learned. If a lower-ranking male chooses not to change his mindset and behavior and transform himself into an alpha male, then he will naturally continue to live a sorry life filled with heartache, rejection, insecurity and disappointment. It's just how nature works and you would see the same thing happen in the animal kingdom where the stronger animal dominates (or kills) the less aggressive animal, as you have seen in human society where the alpha males get all the desired girls and the lower-ranking males get the scraps.
The only question now is: Why on Earth would a lower-ranking man choose to live such a disappointing, gloomy life when he can transform himself into an alpha male who moves through the world with confidence and power, turning heads wherever he goes? Why would a lower-ranking man WANT to be nervous and insecure in social situations when he could just as easily be confident, self-assured, happy and be full of an endless supply of self-esteem and mojo for life by adopting the mindsets, behavior and actions of a GOOD GUY alpha male?Next Page >>
By Dan Bacon, Founder of The Modern Man. Dan Bacon on Google+ (Personal photos with women)