Someone can be considered stylish in appearance because of the way they dress and present themselves, but does that make them classy? Someone can appear sophisticated because of their worldly experience or cultured tastes, but does that make them classy?
The fact is, when it comes to defining classy in reference to a woman, there is no one clear-cut answer. You could say that class, just like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder - it’s all relative. Classy is going to mean different things to different people but from every angle, being truly classy means never having to say that you are. For instance, if you met a woman at a party and she uses the word “classy” in a conversation about herself, would she still appear classy? No! Class is real, you can’t fake it and anyone who openly claims to be classy, usually ends up looking like an insecure "try hard" to others.
Class isn't something a woman (or a man for that matter) can go out and buy and then wave in the faces of others. This is where guys who are looking to attract classy women usually go wrong. They assume that to attract a classy woman, they need to become flashy and impress her with money and means. Real class has nothing to do with the clothes you wear, the car you drive, or where you’ve just flown in from and everything to do with who you are (your character), where you’re going in life and how you treat others on the way to your destination.
By the way, if you're wondering what I meant by “character,” here's a dictionary definition of intended use of the word:
Character (noun): The sum of features and traits that form the individual nature of a person. Qualities of honesty, courage, integrity, determination, etc.
"Money Can’t Buy Me Love"
The Beatles said it all when they sung the lyrics, “Money can’t buy me love” at a point where they had more money and fame than almost anyone else in human history. Modern men who mistake money or social status as class are completely missing the point. If a woman is open to being “bought,” she’s not a classy woman. If a woman is only interested in the “trappings” a man can provide, she’s not a classy woman. However, if a woman is interested in you as the man you really are, then she is a woman who recognizes the real deal.
Being a guy who knows who he is, knows what he stands for, and knows where he’s going in life, makes you the class-act she’s looking for. Classy women are looking for a classy guy, which they more commonly refer to as a real man. They’re not looking for a faker, posing in an expensive suit and shoes; they are looking for a genuine guy who is comfortable in his own skin. Classy women recognize the difference, which is why you usually see them with men who aren't dressed as well as they are. It's not about the guy's clothes, job or looks - she likes him for other reasons. Reasons that most guys simply aren't aware of.
If you listen to insecure radio DJs, random journalists in newspapers and junk writers in men's magazines, you may start believing that you need to dress like a GQ model, drive a sports car, have a gym body and the latest hairstyle before a woman will consider you to be classy or see you as a real man. These naive, insecure people just don't get it and you can be sure that they are struggling in their own dating life. Don't believe what you read or hear from random people in the media - they are not experts in the area of dating, attraction and relationships. So, the next time you see some crappy article telling you that you need to have "six pack abs" to drive women wild, just laugh at it. Superficial stuff like that is not what women look for when they meet a guy. They want to be with a man of substance; a real man.
Classy Women Aren't Attracted to Desperate Men
There are guys out there who dream about scoring a classy woman, but at the same time - they also dream about scoring ANY woman. Desperation for any attention from women is a surefire way to cancel out your chances with classy women.
For instance, if he is out at a bar and the party is winding down at the end of a night, a desperate guy will settle for ANY available woman and forget all about his dreams of having a classy woman. It may seem like a harmless act, but if you are willing to drop your standards and have sex with the “leftover” women that other guys don't want, it can make you begin to feel as though that's all you deserve. After doing it enough times, you may come to believe that you're the type of guy who can only get women that other guys don't want...and that just isn't true!
Classy people, men or women, demonstrate self-respect (to themselves and others) by sticking to and expecting their standards be met. Anything less than what they want is unacceptable. They know what they want out of life, they know what they value and they’re not prepared to settle for anything less. The guys that settle for any woman rather than no woman have no self-respect, and no self-respecting woman will want to be associated with them. For some guys, another notch on the belt feels like a better option than another night alone, but until they grow up and become a man of standards, they'll always be picking up the scraps and leftovers of what other guys don't want. You deserve better and if you want a woman, whom you perceive to be classy, you need to start treating yourself better. Expect the best and stop at nothing until you get it.
Stop Worrying About Superficial Ways to Attract Women
A classy man has an air of confidence about him that marks him out to women as a guy who knows he’s a good catch. He is not afraid to be “the one that got away” because he’s not going to settle for just another notch on the belt if it means disrespecting himself and being a man of broken character. He will live by his standards with integrity and resolve. Women sense that and it attracts them on a DEEP, irresistible level.
Women LOVE the thrill of the chase and they can definitely recognize when a guy worth chasing. They want to catch themselves a guy who isn't desperately trying to get ANY woman. They want a man who has standards, believes in himself and will only accept the best. Sure, a guy’s “fashion sense” might initially catch a woman’s eye, but she’s going to lose interest very quickly if he is all style and no substance. Who he is a person is what she’s really interested in, not the superficial stuff that can be bought from a shop (e.g. colognes, nice shirts, shoes, a flashy car, etc). The secret to attracting a classy woman is being a man of substance and being able to naturally and genuinely demonstrate that during conversation.
A classy woman is looking for the real deal because she sees herself as the real deal and will settle for nothing less than a fair exchange. She’s sophisticated enough to know when a guy is genuinely being himself and when he’s trying too hard to be someone he’s not. She wants a real man, so you need to be able to communicate who you really are. If you try to put on an act, she will see through it and forget you faster than she can say, “Umm, I have to go to the bathroom. Bye!”
If you want to learn more about how to be a man of substance, power, confidence and masculinity, I recommend you watch Better Than a Bad Boy. If you're just starting out and first want to learn how to approach, talk to and pick up women for sex or a relationship - read The Flow.