In this post, I’m going to give you 8 tips and examples on how to flirt at Christmas parties and other work events.
However, before I give you the tips and examples on what to say and do, I have to point out something very important…
The basic rule of flirting is that you need to make a woman feel sexually attracted to you BEFORE you attempt to flirt with her. If you try to flirt with a woman before sparking her attraction for you, it just won’t feel right to her and she will almost always reject you.
So, before flirting with a woman at a Christmas party, work event or anywhere else, you need to actively spark her attraction for you by displaying some of the personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women (e.g. confidence, masculine vibe, charisma, etc).
When a woman feels a spark of attraction for you, she will welcome your flirting and will flirt back to show her interest in you. However, if you are only being a standard nice guy when you talk to her and are not making a woman feel any sexual attraction for you, she will reject your attempts at flirting because it won’t feel right to be doing it with you.
What Will Other People Think if You Flirt With Women at an Office Christmas Party?
Flirting is such an innocent, discreet thing to do that everyone enjoys it, as long as it doesn’t go too far and become sleazy.
However, how much you flirt with women at a Christmas party or work event really depends on the culture at your workplace.
For example: In some workplaces, the boss and management team are completely fine with employees hooking up for casual sex, dating and getting into relationships. Heck, even some of the managers will have sex with people who work for them.
Yet, in other workplaces, the boss and management strictly forbid employee relationships and if a relationship does begin, they will expect the employees to remain professional and only show signs of affection outside of the workplace.
So, if you are attending a Christmas party for work and your management forbids employee relationships, you will need to be more subtle about the way you flirt (i.e. only use body language and behavior to flirt, rather than saying sexually flirtatious things in front of others).
Keep reading and I will give you some examples of what to say and do. For now, I’m going to explain how flirting works…
How Flirting Works
Watch this video to understand how flirting works…
In the video above, I give examples of how to flirt when talking to female Starbucks baristas. For examples of how to flirt at Christmas parties, continue reading below…
8 Tips and Examples of How to Flirt at Christmas Parties
Some of the examples below include what to say, while others include body language and tips on behavior, which are all important elements of flirting.
The first example is to…
1. Give her a flirty look from a distance and then smile in a confident, relaxed way that shows you like her
If you haven’t yet approached the woman that you want to flirt with, you can start out by giving her a flirty look from a distance.
A flirty look means that you look at a woman and show her that you find her attractive and that you like you, while also showing her that you think she likes you too. Essentially, think about how you would look at a woman if you really liked her and you know that she likes you too.
It’s an exciting moment to experience for the both of you.
Give her that type of look and she will know exactly what it means.
Whatever you do, just don’t look at her as though you like her, but you are unsure if she likes you too.
When flirting with women, you MUST ensure that you are making her feel attracted to you, rather than turning her off.
If you look at a woman as though you like her and you know that she likes you too, she will feel attracted to you because you will be coming across as confident.
However, if you at her as though you like her, but you aren’t sure if she likes you, then you’re going to be coming across as insecure and self-doubting, which is not attractive to women.
Women are attracted to the emotional strength of men (e.g. confidence, high self-esteem, self-assuredness) and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecure, anxiety, self-doubt, etc).
Women only want to flirt with guys that they feel attracted to, so you must ensure that you when you give a woman a flirty look, it is backed up with a relaxed, easy-going confidence in yourself.
So, how does it work?
Start by making eye contact with her from a distance and give her the flirty look for about 1-2 seconds, where you communicate via your body language that you like her and you know that she likes you too.
Then, add in a smile and hold eye contact for another 2-3 seconds, before looking away before continuing to talk to other people or doing something else (e.g. ordering a drink, getting some food from the buffet, etc).
That is how a flirty look works.
Essentially, you look at her as though you like her and that you know she likes you too, hold eye contact, give her a smile and then look away in a relaxed, confident manner. Think about how you would look at a woman if you really liked her and you knew (for sure) that she liked you too.
When you give her a confident, flirtatious look like that, she then feels excited that there is a spark between you and her. She becomes curious and keen to interact with you to see if she will feel even more attracted to you when in your presence.
By the way…
Don’t worry about whether or not the woman will know what you are doing because she will. Women know what flirting is.
Women have to use flirting to be subtle about their sexual interest in men, because pretty much everyone looks down on a woman or treats her with less respect if she is very open about her interest in sex. She knows what you are doing.
Flirting is a language that pretty much every woman understands and uses, so when you give her a flirty look, she will know that you find her attractive and are using the subtle, discreet language of flirting to let her know.
She will feel excited that you have the social intelligence to be able to privately create a spark between you and her via subtle flirting. So, don’t hesitate to give her a flirty look – just do it and you will see what I mean.
2. Give her a flirty squint and a smile while maintaining eye contact during a conversation
Once you’ve approached and started to talk to a woman that you want to flirt with at a Christmas party, it’s essential that you continue to build up her attraction for you and occasionally flirt with her throughout the interaction.
So, if you’re talking to a woman who is feeling attracted to you (e.g. because you are displaying confidence, charisma, making her laugh, being masculine, etc), then another way to flirt with her is to squint your eyes and smile at her when maintaining eye contact.
Essentially, what you are discreetly communicating to her with this type of flirtatious body language is, “I know you like me…and by the way – I like you too.”
When should you use the flirty squint with a smile?
When she is clearly showing you that she likes you and is flirting with you too (e.g. she may be giggling in a girly way when talking to you, touching you, biting her bottom lip, dipping her chin down to look up at you in a submissive way, twirling her hair around her finger or just playing with her hair in a girly way, etc).
Giving her a flirty squint with a smile is really about showing her that you know she is attracted to you and that there is clearly a spark between you and her. You don’t ever have to say, “There is a spark between us” because your flirtatious body language will communicate that in a discreet, classy way.
Reminder: As mentioned earlier in this post: You must first make her feel attracted to you before you attempt to use any type of flirting with her.
If a woman isn’t feeling attracted to you at a Christmas party and you try to flirt with her, she’s going to feel as though you’re being weird because she knows that flirting should only be used when there is mutual attraction between two people.
If you want to be successful at picking up women, you must go through a natural sequence that flows from one step to the next. The first step of the sequence is that you make the woman feel sexually attracted to you and then everything else follows on naturally and effortlessly after that.
If you go against the flow of nature by attempting to pick up women before you’ve even made them feel attracted to you, they will reject you almost every time that you try.
3. Accuse her of trying to get you drunk
Another example of how to flirt at Christmas parties is when you are talking to a woman who is attracted to you (e.g. because you are being confident, charismatic, masculine, etc) and she suggests getting another drink.
At that point, you can smile and ask her, “You trying to get me drunk are you?” and she will understand that you are suggesting that she is trying to get you drunk so she can then seduce you into having sex with her.
You don’t have to specifically say that she is trying to get you drunk to seduce you into having sex with her, because she will already understand that on her own without you having to explain it to her.
If she laughs and enjoys that question and you want to add in a little more humor and flirting, you can say, “I just want to let you know that I’m not that easy…you’re going to have to romance me a little more first. I don’t put out just because I get drunk” and then laugh with her about that.
Of course, whether you add in that last comment depends on how conservative the culture is at your workplace Christmas party.
If other people are listening into the conversation and you’re in a workplace where people are expected to be very formal and professional, then it’s probably not going to be appropriate for you to say something like that.
However, if you and her are talking alone or if it is very loud and only she can hear you, then it’s usually going to be fine and she will laugh and enjoy the humorous flirting that you’re adding into the conversation.
4. Make her compete with another woman, then reward her when she shows more interest in you
One of the easiest ways to pick up women is to get other women interested in you during a conversation or interaction.
Unlike men who are usually willing to have sex with a woman instantly simply based on her looks (and regardless of how many other men want to sleep with her), most women assess a man’s sexual attractiveness based on a range of other factors, including how much other women like him or would like him if they met him.
If a woman is interacting with a guy and other women don’t like him, it’s going to make her feel less attracted to him. Likewise, if a woman is interacting with a guy and she feels as though other women wouldn’t like him if they met him, she will feel turned off.
It’s just the way that women work. Why? A woman’s attraction for a man is mostly based on things that are not physical (i.e. his confidence, personality, charisma, social intelligence, masculinity, etc).
Watch this video for more info…
As you will discover from the video above, most women will overlook the fact that a guy isn’t 6ft tall, rich and handsome if he can attract her in other ways.
One of the ways to attract a woman (who is playing hard to get) and then subtly flirt with her (i.e. show your interest in her in a subtle way) is to get other women attracted to you during a conversation and then reward the woman you like with more of your attention, if she begins to treat you better and show you more interest.
So, if you’re flirting with a co-worker at a Christmas party and she seems like she is going to play a little bit hard to get, simply include some other women in the conversation and get them attracted to you as well (e.g. be confident, charismatic, get them laughing, make them feel feminine and girly in comparison to your masculinity, etc).
When she sees that other women are attracted to you, she will then begin to compete with them for your attention and interest.
When you see her showing you more interest and attention (e.g. touching you, interrupting other women to get your attention, etc) and trying to treat you better, you can then reward her by giving her more of your attention.
To flirt with her at that point, give her a loving smile and briefly show more attraction for her than you do the other women. Then, go back to making all the woman feel attracted to you and keep repeating that process until the woman you want is showing you really obvious interest.
At that point, you can say to her, “Hey, you want to go to the bar to get a drink?” and get some alone time with her. She will then feel excited that she is getting to do that with you.
Women love guys like that and refer to them as a challenge. Watch this video to understand why women enjoy a guy who is a challenge to win over…
As you will discover from the video above, most women are bored of how easy guys are to attract for sex.
Being the challenge that women are looking for is simple: Make her feel attracted to you and then stop yourself from being completely sold on her. Show interest in her, but make her feel as though she needs to impress you more before she fully wins you over.
Most guys are afraid to do that because they think it is mean or playing silly mind games. Guys also fear that if they don’t show 100% interest in a woman, she will lose interest and walk away.
Yet, if you watch the video above, you will realize that most guys offer no challenge at all because they are willing to have sex with women immediately, which is boring for women. Women want to feel as though they are lucky to score you as their lover or boyfriend, rather than feeling as though they are doing you a favor by letting you have sex with them.
5. Suggest partying together on New Year’s Eve
This is a subtle example of how to flirt at a Christmas party or work function with a co-worker.
Sometimes, it’s going to be appropriate to use this style of flirting depending on how conservative the culture is at your workplace.
For example: If you are talking to a co-worker and she is attracted to you, but she is worried about showing sexual interest in you, kissing or appearing as though you and her are going to hook up, you can subtly flirt with her by suggesting that you and her party together on New Year’s Eve.
She will then know that you are interested in her because you want to see her outside of the workplace, but are flirting because you are being discreet about your interest in her.
Flirting is about discreetly showing your interest in each other, without always having to make it obvious that you want to have sex with her, date her or start a relationship with her.
It’s a private language of words, behavior, body language and vibe that is used to communicate sexual interest without having to actually say, “Hey, I want to have sex with you. Do you want to have sex with me?”
Flirting in a subtle way about partying together on New Year’s Eve is also effective when interacting with a woman who is insecure and doesn’t really feel as though you really like her.
When she knows that you want to see her outside of the workplace, she will be able to relax and show interest more in you because she will be hopeful that you do like her and want to spend more time with her.
Some guys might be thinking, “Why do women have to make things so complicated about dating and hooking up?” but that’s just the way life is when insecurity is a part of the dynamic between people. If both the man and woman are confident, everything flows easily from one step to the next, but if either one is insecure it makes the whole dating process so much more complicated.
For example: If she is insecure, you need to make her feel attracted to you and show her that you like her. If you don’t let her know that you like her (after making her feel attracted to you first), she will usually play hard to get and may even say that she doesn’t like you.
On the other hand, if a woman is confident and knows that she is sexy and beautiful, she will play hard to get for other reasons.
Rather than playing hard to get because she is worried about being rejected, a confident woman will play hard to get because she wants to test your confidence in yourself. She will look to see if you are insecure and need her to be gentle with you, or if you are a confident guy who can handle any tests she puts you through.
If you crumble under the pressure and feel as though she’s not interested in you, she know that you’re not confident enough for a woman like her. However, if you remain calm and continue to believe in your attractiveness to her, she will be impressed by your confidence and feel even more attracted and drawn to you.
She will feel attracted and be thinking something like, “Finally! A guy who isn’t intimidated by me and who I actually feel attracted to as well!”
6. Tell her that you think she is sexy and that you like her
This is one of my favorite examples of how to flirt with women.
Once a woman feels attracted to you and you are getting along with each other, it’s important for you to say something like, “You’re sexy…I like you.”
The reason why you need to say that is because most of the women you meet will be insecure about their looks and attractiveness (96% of women, according to the Dove global survey on beauty). Even if a woman looks pretty and sexy to you, she will almost certainly feel insecure about her looks and will need you to let her know that you find her attractive.
If she is confident and knows that she is sexy and attractive, she will appreciate that you have the balls to say that to her, but will only feel excited about it if you first make her feel attracted to you. No matter what you say or do around women, just remember: You have to make her feel attracted to you FIRST and then everything else follows on after that.
Once you have made a woman feel attracted to you, if you then don’t give a woman a direct compliment about her attractiveness to you, she will usually play hard to get and act as though she doesn’t like you, so she can test your interest in her and your confidence level.
So, to cut out all the silly mind games when you talk to women, just be honest and tell her that you think she is sexy and you like her. The best time to say something like that to a woman is when she is attracted to you, you’re getting along well and have just had a laugh together about something.
Pause for a moment, look her up and down, smile and say in a confident, relaxed manner, “You’re sexy…I like you” and she will love it that you’re so confident, honest and ballsy, but that you can also be relaxed and easy-going about whatever you say to her.
Of course, if you’re at a very conservative work Christmas party, or if everyone can hear you and her talking, you need to be careful about giving her a direct sexual compliment like that in front of other people.
Some women will feel embarrassed to get a compliment like that in front of co-workers or friends, while some women will feel proud and then show sexual interest back to you. You need to decide what you think is appropriate for the Christmas party that you are attending.
7. Make funny faces at her during conversation while gently teasing her
One of the easiest ways to flirt with a woman is to make certain types of funny faces at her during a conversation.
Example 1: Scrunch your nose up and look at her in a judgemental way when she says something silly or unintelligent, but only do it in a joking manner. Then say to her, “Oh, I thought you were really smart…and then you said that” and then smile and laugh with her about that.
Example 2: Raise up your eyebrows and look pleasantly surprised or impressed when she says something that makes her look very smart and interesting. Then say to her, “Wow, I didn’t know that you were so intelligent. You’re beautiful and smart…you’ve got it all girl” and then smile and laugh with her about that.
Flirting with women in this way is about gently teasing her to make her feel girly and feminine around you.
Gently teasing a woman isn’t about being rude, mean or being a bad boy. Instead, you’re simply flirting with women in the way that they secretly wish guys would, but will never admit to your face because they are worried that guys will take it the wrong way and begin to rudely tease them.
Women love to feel girly and less dominant around a guy and gently teasing her is a subtle, easy way to achieve that. Gentle teasing is seen as charming because you are being attractive to her (i.e. confident) while also being nice to her.
Just don’t go overboard with it. Add in gentle teasing like you would add in sugar to coffee or spice to a pasta dish. If you add in too much, it becomes overwhelming and less enjoyable.
When you give her a bit of gentle teasing, be sure to remain masculine while doing it. Don’t suddenly start getting giggly like she would. Retain your masculinity and she will feel the most amount of attraction for you.
When a woman feels girly and feminine in comparison to a guy’s masculine approach, she feels sexually turned on by him because it is the fundamental difference between masculine and feminine that creates sexual desire between men and women. So, don’t hide your masculinity – let her feel it by the way you talk, move, feel and behave.
A lot of nice guys struggle with this because they want to come across as being a nice, trustworthy, gentle guy who only has the best of intentions with a woman. While it’s great to be a good guy, you shouldn’t put on an act of being a super nice, neutral guy in the hope that it will impress women…because it won’t.
When a guy is simply being neutral, friendly and nice when talking to a woman, it doesn’t make her feel sexually turned on. Instead, she just experiences friendly, neutral feelings around him, which is why many nice guys get rejected by women who could have actually become their lover, girlfriend or even wife.
Watch this video for more info…
8. Gently, but firmly touch her when you lean in to talk to her
A lot of guys are afraid to touch women because they assume it will be an invasion of the woman’s privacy or personal space, which will then make her freak out and reject him in front of everyone.
However, here’s how it really works…
When a woman is attracted to a guy and he is being confident and relaxed around her, she will almost always welcome his touch and even feel excited about it, as long he doesn’t become overly sleazy in front of others when it’s not the right time or place (e.g. in front of the boss, when next to the conservative manager that she is trying to impress, etc).
When and how can you touch her in a flirtatious way?
As long the woman is attracted to you (e.g. because you’re being confident, making her feel feminine in comparison to your masculine approach, etc), you can touch her gently, but firmly when you lean in to talk to her in a loud environment or when you have to say something to her quietly to keep it private between you and her.
Simply put your hand on her lower back or on the upper arm that is on the opposite side to the ear that you’re going to speak into (i.e. if you’re going to speak into her right ear, gently, but firmly touch her left upper arm with her your hand).
Women love this type of gentle, but firm touching because it shows that you are confident and masculine around her and are not afraid to take things to the next level with her. You are also classy enough to keep your touching subtle and discreet, so she doesn’t have to worry about what other people might think.
If you have been making her feel attracted she will welcome your touch, but just make sure that you don’t go overboard with it if you happen to be attending a very conservative Christmas party or work event. You don’t have to touch her every time that you lean in to talk to her. Instead, simply be confident enough to touch her whenever you feel like it.
When a woman is attracted is attracted to you and then feels your touch, it turns her on and she enjoys that you have the social intelligence to subtly and discreetly show your interest in her in a classy way.
Women see this as flirting because you are subtly showing your interest in her in a discreet way. If she begins to touch you when she leans in to talk to you, it means that she is flirting back with you and wants you to know that she is enjoying where the interaction is heading.