My Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

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My wife doesn't want sex

If you girlfriend or wife has lost interest in sex, it is most likely because she doesn't see you as a "real man." You've lost her attraction, respect and love by failing to be the man she needs.

Lately, I've been getting a lot of requests from married men who are wondering why their wife has lost interest in having sex with them. In almost every case, the core problem is that the man has handed over his power to the woman and she is running the relationship. When a woman feels as though she is mothering a man, she will almost always lose her sexual interest in him.

Before we get further into relationship dynamics, let's get some perspective on what is possible in terms of keeping your sex life alive in a relationship.

The Truly Happy Couple

Have you ever seen a man and a woman who've been in a relationship or married for decades, yet they are still madly in love with each other? They hold hands, flirt with each other, laugh and joke around together and of course, still feel completely sexually attracted to each other.

You know the type of couple I'm referring to, right? You've seen it. We all have. That is what is possible for you, if you set up and maintain the correct relationship dynamic. Part of what is required to achieve and maintain that type of dynamic, is to ensure that you are the more masculine and dominant one in the relationship, so your girlfriend or wife can then relax into being more feminine. If she has to behave in a masculine way around you, her sexual desire will begin to shut down because you will be forcing her into living in a more masculine state of being. In the modern world, too many men have destroyed the sexual desire of their girlfriend or wife by not being the man she needs.

“Help! My Wife is Addicted to Having Sex With Me!”

The truth is, the amount of love, sexual attraction and respect that a woman feels for you should actually DEEPEN over time, instead of fading away. In the beginning, most couples have sex 2-4 times per week. Eventually, after the relationship dynamic has been ruined, thus destroying the natural sexual charge that the perfect masculine/feminine balance creates, most couples only have sex once or twice a month or even stop having sex altogether.

If you set up the right relationship dynamic and maintain that, you will both want to have sex about twice a week, even after 10 years of marriage. I know this because I've heard back from customers who've followed my advice in The Modern Relationship and Better Than a Bad Boy. I've had a number of married men contact me to tell me that the spark is back in their relationship and they're back to rocking the bed with their wife. If they continue using the advice, they will continue to deepen her love, attraction and respect. The woman will literally become addicted to having sex with him. She will actually NEED it because, due to his behavior in the relationship, she will be constantly building up sexual tension and it will need to be released with the act of sex. Additionally, since the love and respect will be strong again, she won't want to release that tension through masturbation. She will want to be close to him and “make love.”

When you set up and maintain the right relationship dynamic, your woman will get most of her pleasure from the fact that she is having sex with YOU, rather than her "getting off" or having sex in general. She feels lucky to be receiving you and it gives her great pleasure to open up and receive you, body and mind.

Deepen Her Love, Respect and Attraction For You

As mentioned, the love, attraction and respect that your girlfriend or wife feels should actually deepen. The truly happy couples I was referring to are undeniable evidence of that. It's not a “fairytale” to think that you will live happily ever after. It really does happen when the right relationship dynamic is set up and, more importantly, maintained.

Most people do not know how to correctly set up and maintain the ideal relationship dynamic, so they actually accept, in advance, that once they get married (or settle into a non-married relationship) their sex life will begin a sharp and irreversible decline. It just isn't true! When you set up and maintain the relationship correctly, you won't be wondering why your girlfriend or wife doesn't want to have sex with you, you'll be asking, “What super foods should I eat to give me more energy to keep up with the sexual appetite of my wife?”

You can literally turn your sexually-uninspired girlfriend or wife into a woman who is so addicted to having sex with you that she basically does whatever you say, just to keep you happy. This turns out to be a win-win situation because she gets to have more sex with you and you get a better girlfriend/wife out of it, so you're both happy. How, you might be asking?

Take Back the Reigns of Power

You need to "wear the pants" in the relationship and be the man. Do you think that the happy couples you've seen who are still incredibly sexually attracted to each other, have a relationship where the woman is in control and more dominant than the man? No. You will always find that the man is what women refer to as a real man and is more dominant than the woman. You may have SEEN what LOOKS LIKE a very happy couple where the woman is in control and more dominant, but I guarantee you that they are rarely having sex...and when they do, it's on her terms. She says if and when it happens.

That is lame. That is no way to live your life as a man. What makes both a man and a woman truly happy in a relationship is when the woman feels lucky to be having sex with her man and HE is deciding if and when she gets it. He rewards her for being a “good girl,” so to speak.

The Jokes of the Losers

The truly happy couple that I am referring to are winners at life. They are doing it right and they are happy, fulfilled and deeply in love as a result. The unhappy couple who rarely have sex, argue all the time and basically just live together to share bills and responsibilities are, let's be honest, losers at life. They are doing it wrong.

Is it their fault? No. Most people don't have good role models to learn from, so they resort to learning from TV (which is usually entertainment, not education) and from the random comments and advice from people who are not experts in the field of attraction and relationships. The jokes of the losers are all around us and, if you're not careful, you will start to think they are true. For instance, there isn’t a stand-up comedian in the world who hasn’t made a joke about marriage and the death knell it sounds on your sex life. They joke about the sex drying up and the passion dying in a relationship as if it has to be that way, because they don't know how to fix their situation. They are making mistakes in the relationship, experiencing the consequences and then assuming that it has to be that way.

All the while, these "losers" at life are failing to notice the couples out there that are doing it right. There are millions of couples who are still madly in love, feeling a deeper attraction for each other and having sex way more often than the average couple...because they are doing it right! The woman doesn't nag, the man is a real man and they look perfect together as a couple. People look at them in confusion, wondering how on Earth they manage to do it. “They are so lucky...they found their soulmate in each other and that's why they are so happy,” people assume. No! They are doing it right! That is why they are so happy.

The Stages of a Relationship

While it is true that there are stages to a relationship where you and your girlfriend or wife will go through certain changes together, it is not true that your girlfriend or wife absolutely has to lose interest in having sex with you. The truth is, the love, sexual attraction, emotional attraction and respect a woman feels for you should DEEPEN over time, if you create and maintain the right relationship dynamic. If you don't, then yes, her love, sexual attraction, emotional attraction and respect will fade over time.

If you want to learn more about creating and maintain the ideal type of relationship dynamic, watch The Modern Relationship to learn. Then, to learn more about how to be the real man that women are desperate to be with and stay with, watch Better Than a Bad Boy.


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Dan_Bacon_author_photo By Dan Bacon, Founder of The Modern Man. (Personal photos with women)



Relationships

6 Responses to “My Wife Doesn’t Want Sex”

  1. Johann Reply January 29, 2013 at 4:07 am

    Hey Dan,
    So far the thing that has marked the most success in my relationship with my girlfriend right now is that I always have led and have been the one in control. I made the first kiss, she asked me if we were dating later on, and I made the move to go to sex since then. I never asked to kiss or have sex. It just took getting her into the right mindset and making it work.
    Two things have come up since. First, although I can get her pretty wet, it’s been hard to get her to orgasm (I haven’t apologized or anything making it look like it was my fault though). Second, she tried getting me to ask her for sex yesterday. Granted, I might not have done a good job in getting her ready, but asking for it sounded like giving up the control which would be a big mistake. Pretty much what happened is that I walked away with no sex but that seemed better than letting her think she had control. At that point I said I’d see her next weekend and walked off (even though we normally meet up most days). This seemed like a good way to let her know that if she would act like that then I could stand to wait.
    So what things did I do well or badly?
    Thanks so much,
    Johann

    • Dan Bacon Reply February 2, 2013 at 6:30 am

      Hi Johann

      Thanks for your question.

      Yes, you took the right action. You are the one in charge, not her. She was just testing to see if you really were in charge. However, there is also a way to use opportunities like that to DEEPEN the love, attraction and respect she feels for you. It should not be a moment of frustration and disconnection that drives you apart. It should bring you closer together. If you want to learn more, I recommend that you watch Better Than a Bad Boy. I give many examples of tests that women will put you through and how to handle each one of them so it deepens the love, attraction and respect you feel for each other.

      Cheers
      Dan

  2. jim Reply March 25, 2013 at 6:36 pm

    Hello Dan.
    Thanks for setting up a great site as this. I had been a wuss when it came to girls stuffs before i stumbled upon this site.most recent was that of a girl i loved so much[and still love]. We got talking and somehow,things began to work out between us. Her attraction for me grew so rapidly and along the line,i ignorantly handed over the masculine power of the relationship to her.from that point,her attraction for me started fading rapidly. As we speak now, she usually goes into offline mode on BBM whenever she notices iam online and if she manages to stay on,we hardly chat with each other.She says ‘hi’ whenever she chooses which i snub or reply back with a ‘hi’ too. Depending on my mood. What can i do to win back her love and attraction for me? I tried pretending not to love her anymore and it didn’t workout either. . Thanks for your quick reply.

  3. Henry Reply May 6, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    Hi thanks to u and everyone who made this site possible for us who are very bereft in dating tips.
    Well I have been dating for past 6yrs and recently she started not getting time for me, listening to friends advice. I got frustrated and cheated on her due she not been able to satisfy me. There was quarrels and nags all over. So she got to know I cheated on her one day. Then I felt very sorry and apologized to her. But she wasn’t okay with herself. Rather instead kept it in her and reported to her mum! I explained things to her mum and what made me did so. We solved it and I thought everything was over not knowing she still kept it within her and affected the way she behaves towards me. She stopped calling me, sending me sms. She never had sex with me for almost a year! She never visited me too! So I asked her why she is doing that one day and all she could say is “she can’t date a guy who doesn’t love her”. I felt so sorry and embarrassed but I told her I really did love her and am sorry for the past so she should forget about and let’s move on. But still now she seems not to be transparent to me anymore, she tells me petty lies, she discusses issues with her mum and behave upon what her mum tells her. Now she I asked her to come and visit me and she said she can’t because she isn’t ready. Her attraction for me has completely changed but she claims she loves me while she doesn’t want to have sex with me too! Please help me with any advice.

    • Dan Bacon Reply May 14, 2013 at 5:00 pm

      Hey Henry

      Thanks for your positive feedback.

      About your situation: You are already aware that cheating on her caused a lot of problems and was the wrong thing to do. However, you have made a worse mistake after that – letting her push you around, treat you badly, etc. You need to regain control of the relationship. She no longer respects you, which is causing her to lose attraction for you. If you want to get that back, the program I recommend for you is Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89

      Cheers
      Dan

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