Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of requests from married men who are wondering why their wife has lost interest in having sex with them. Here are the main reasons why that happens:
1. Power problem
Many husbands hand over power to their wife thinking that it will make her happy. After all, some wives even ask or demand the power. Yet, when a woman feels like she has to mother a man or has taken on the role of the man, she stops feeling like a feminine woman around him. When that happens, she stops feeling sexual attraction for her husband because she’s not attracted to a feminine man.
2. Neutral friendship instead of masculine/feminine relationship
Some husbands make the mistake of listening to the politically correct comments on TV that suggest a relationship should be more like a friendship or partnership. This is a fundamental mistake and it absolutely ruins the sexual tension in the relationship.
The husband and wife become more like friends who live together, rather than a man and a woman who are secure in their specific roles in life and in the relationship.
Both men and women get insecure about all sorts of things throughout life, but when a man becomes very insecure in a relationship, it turns the woman off sex on a deep level. Why? Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness.
4. Lack of purpose
One of the main parts to being what women refer to as a “real man” is being a man of purpose. That means you follow through with unrelenting determination to achieve your biggest dreams in life. It’s not about the “mechanics of life” such as getting a house, a car and a dog.
It’s about the bigger things you dream of achieving in life. When you are going after those dreams and making massive progress in those areas, it deepens the respect and attraction a woman feels for you. However, if you are hiding away from your true potential as a man behind her and the marriage, she loses respect and attraction for you.
Watch The Modern Relationship
The Truly Happy Couple
Have you ever seen a man and a woman who’ve been married for decades, yet they are still madly in love with each other? They hold hands, flirt with each other, laugh and joke around together and of course, they still feel completely sexually attracted to each other.
You know the type of couple I’m referring to, right? You’ve seen it. We all have. That is what is possible for you when you set up and maintain the correct relationship dynamic. Part of what is required to achieve and maintain that type of dynamic is to ensure that you are the more masculine and dominant one in the relationship, so your wife can then relax into being more feminine.
If your wife has to behave in a masculine way around you, her sexual desire will begin to shut down because you will be forcing her into living in a more masculine state of being. In today’s world, too many husbands have destroyed the sexual desire of their wife by not being the man she needs.
Deepening Her Love, Respect and Attraction For You
If you set up and maintain the right relationship dynamic, the amount of love, sexual attraction and respect that a woman feels for you will DEEPEN over time, instead of fading away.
In the beginning of a relationship, most couples have sex 2-4 times per week. Then, most men make the mistake of turning their wife into more of a friend or worse, a “partner in life” (thanks to the crappy, politically correct messages floating around) and the sexual charge fades away.
When the correct masculine/feminine dynamic is maintained (i.e. she is your woman, your lover, the one who looks up to you and feels girly around you), sexual tension is naturally created and you both then have the desire to release it via sex.
Since most modern men think that the politically correct comments made on TV is what they should be doing, they inadvertently turn their marriage into a friendship. When that happens, most couples only have sex once or twice a month or even stop having sex altogether.
If you set up the right relationship dynamic and then maintain it, you will both want to have sex about once or twice a week, even after 10 years of marriage. I know this because I’ve heard back from men who’ve followed my advice in The Modern Relationship and Better Than a Bad Boy. Several married men have contacted me in the last two weeks alone to tell me that the spark is back and they are back to rocking the bed with their wife on a regular basis.
From there, the man simply has to be diligent to continue maintaining the masculine/feminine dynamic in the relationship. If he thinks that everything is now fine and he can go back to treating her like a friend or “partner” then the same problems will arise again. However, if he maintains the dynamic, the love, respect and attraction that he and his wife feel for each other will deepen over time.
You can actually create and maintain a dynamic where your wife is addicted to having sex with you. She develops a NEED for it because, due to your behavior and the type of relationship dynamic that you are maintaining, sexual tension is constantly being built up and you both feel a desire to release it with the act of sex. Unlike a man who will often decide to simply jerk off to some porn and waste his built up sexual energy that way, a woman will want to feel close to her man and “make love.”
When you set up and maintain the right relationship dynamic, your woman will get most of her pleasure from the fact that she is having sex with YOU, rather than her “getting off” or having sex in general. She feels lucky to be receiving you and it gives her great pleasure to open up and receive you with her body and mind.
She becomes a willing vessel to capture the release of your sexual energy. She wants to feel you pushing and pumping against her. It gives her great pleasure that she is receiving sexual energy from a man that she looks up to, respects, loves and feels a deep attraction for. It’s a beautiful thing when you get it right.
Can You Really Live “Happily Every After” in Today’s World?
It’s not a “fairytale” to think that you will live happily ever after with your wife. The truly happy couples I was referring to are undeniable evidence of that. It really does happen when the right relationship dynamic is set up and, more importantly, maintained.
Most people do not know how to correctly set up and maintain the ideal relationship dynamic, so they actually accept, in advance, that once they get married (or settle into a non-married relationship) their sex life will begin a sharp and irreversible decline. It just isn’t true!
When you set up and maintain the relationship correctly, you won’t be wondering why your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you, you’ll be asking, “What super foods should I eat to give me more energy to keep up with the sexual appetite of my wife?”
You can literally turn your sexually-uninspired wife into a woman who is so addicted to having sex with you that she basically does whatever you say, just to keep you happy. This turns out to be a win-win situation because she gets to have more sex with you and you get a better wife out of it, so you’re both happy. How, you might be asking?
Take Back the Reigns of Power
You need to “wear the pants” in the relationship and be the man. Do you think that the happy couples you’ve seen who are still incredibly sexually attracted to each other, have a relationship where the woman is in control and more dominant than the man? No. You will always find that the man is what women refer to as a real man and is more dominant than the woman.
You may have SEEN what LOOKS LIKE a very happy couple where the woman is in control and more dominant, but I guarantee you that they are rarely having sex…and when they do, it’s on her terms. She says if and when it happens.
That is lame. That is no way to live your life as a man. What makes both a man and a woman truly happy in a relationship is when the woman feels lucky to be having sex with her man and HE is deciding if and when she gets it. He rewards her for being a “good girl,” so to speak.
Don’t Copy What Losers Do
The truly happy couple that I am referring to are winners at life. They are doing it right and they are happy, fulfilled and deeply in love as a result. The unhappy couple who rarely have sex, argue all the time and basically just live together to share bills and responsibilities are, let’s be honest, losers at life. They are doing it wrong.
Is it their fault? No. Most people don’t have good role models to learn from, so they resort to learning from TV (which is usually entertainment, not education) and from the random comments and advice from people who are not experts in the field of attraction and relationships. The jokes of the losers are all around us and, if you’re not careful, you will start to think they are true.
For instance, there isn’t a stand-up comedian in the world who hasn’t made a joke about marriage and the death knell it sounds on your sex life. They joke about the sex drying up and the passion dying in a relationship as if it has to be that way, because they don’t know how to fix their situation. They are making mistakes in the relationship, experiencing the consequences and then assuming that it has to be that way.
All the while, these “losers” at life are failing to notice the couples out there that are doing it right. There are millions of couples who are still madly in love, feeling a deeper attraction for each other and having sex way more often than the average couple…because they are doing it right!
The woman doesn’t nag, the man is a real man and they look perfect together as a couple. People look at them in confusion, wondering how on Earth they manage to do it. “They are so lucky…they found their soulmate in each other and that’s why they are so happy,” people assume. No! They are doing it right! That is why they are so happy.