Texting a woman you like to get a date, sex, or a relationship can sometimes feel like you’re walking through a minefield.
If you text the wrong thing, or you react in the wrong way via text, your chances can suddenly blow up.
She can lose interest, she can reject you, or she can stop replying altogether.
Yet, if you know where the mines (explosives) are on the field and you want to get to the other side, it’s easy; you just walk across.
You might still feel a bit nervous, but you’ll get to the other side.
You’ll get the result that you want.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys end up making beginner texting mistakes for many years before they eventually figure out, “Oh, right, I shouldn’t be doing that. I should be doing this instead.”
During that time, they will have lost so many opportunities with women who did like them.
The guy could have had sex or a relationship with her, but he made one of the following beginner texting mistakes.
1. Texting in a neutral way like a friend, rather than texting in an attractive way, like a potential lover or boyfriend.
That can happen when a guy matches with a woman on a dating app, or gets her number in person, or knows a woman in person.
For this example, the guy met her in a bar and when he was exchanging numbers with her, he got her to save his number in her phone, with his name and he is now texting her two days later.
- Guy: Hey, nice meeting you the other night. How are you?
- Girl: Good. I’m cooking dinner at the moment.
- Guy: What are you cooking?
- Girl: A beef and veggie stir fry.
- Guy: Cool. Do you cook often?
- Girl: Sometimes.
- Guy: Same. So, how was your day?
She then doesn’t reply because he’s only texting her in a neutral way and she’s in the middle of cooking.
Sometimes a woman will continue to reply when a guy is being neutral via text, but in this case, she doesn’t feel motivated to reply because he’s not making her feel any sparks of attraction and she’s in the middle of cooking dinner.
So, after not getting her reply for 30 minutes, he texts again and says, “I might cook up some dinner myself now. Chat you later.”
She doesn’t reply to that either.
He then worries about contacting her again and seeming needy.
So, he waits two days to text her and he sends, “Hey, Nadia, how are you today?” and she doesn’t reply.
He is then left feeling confused and thinking, “What is going on? We met in person. She liked me. She gave me her number and the text conversation has just fizzled out. What’s going on here?”
Now let’s text in an attractive way, like a potential lover or boyfriend.
So, the guy sent her a text of, “Hey, nice meeting you the other night. How are you?” and I wouldn’t send that as an initial text and I also recommend that the guy sends an attractive text immediately after, or very shortly after getting a woman’s number in person, but that’s another story for another video.
For this example, we’ll start it off in the same way as the guy did, but you’ll see that I now text like a potential lover or boyfriend and make her feel attracted, rather than just having a general chat and asking her what she’s cooking and asking if she cooks often and so forth.
- Guy: Hey, nice meeting you the other night. How are you?
- Girl: Good. I’m cooking dinner at the moment
- Guy: Dinner for two I hope 😄 I’m hungry. I can be there in 30 minutes.
Now, with that reply, I’m assuming that she wants to see me and I’m playfully inviting myself over.
So, I’m being confident and funny, both of which are traits that are attractive to women.
I’m creating sparks of attraction inside of her.
- Girl: Lol, I just made enough for one. Maybe next time though 😊
- Guy: For sure. I want to see you tonight though. So, let’s do something else. Late-night coffee or a drink tonight, 8:30 or 9pm, what works best for you?
Once again, I’m assuming that she wants to see me and that’s only going to work if you’ve been attractive first.
If a guy’s just been texting a woman in a neutral way, like a friend and then he says he wants to see her tonight, then it’s not going to feel right to her because he’s feeling attracted to her, but she’s not feeling a spark with him.
She’s just getting neutral texts back and forth, like she’s texting with a friend, a coworker and so on.
By simply texting something attractive such as, “Dinner for two I hope 😄 I’m hungry. I can be there in 30 minutes,” I’ve change the dynamic of the conversation.
She’s going to feel a spark of attraction.
When a woman is feeling attracted to you, she then looks at you in a completely different way.
She thinks about you in a completely different way.
You are a potential lover or boyfriend to her.
So, then when you are suggesting catching up, she’s going to say yes to that because she wants a lover or boyfriend.
So, I said, “For sure, I want to see you tonight though. So, let’s do something else. Late-night coffee or a drink tonight, 8:30 or 9pm, what works best for you?”
She replies with, “Lol. Well, you don’t mess around, do you? I like it. Okay. I can do 9:30 pm.”
Now, not all women are actually going to say, “Well, you don’t mess around, do you? I like it.”
Instead, they’ll just be thinking that and feeling that.
They’ll be thinking, “Well, this guy’s confident, I’m feeling a spark. He has the courage, the masculinity to move things forward.”
Women like that.
They want a guy to take the lead.
Yet, once again, it only works if you’ve been attractive first; if you created that spark of attraction inside of her.
Now, the thing is, in this case, I only sent one attractive text before moving towards a meetup and sometimes that’s okay depending on the woman’s level of interest in you, but sometimes you need to send one, two, or three more attractive texts before suggesting the meetup.
I’ll talk more about a woman’s level of interest later in the video, for now, let’s get back to the text conversation. She agreed to meet up.
So, I then reply with, “Perfect, see you at [name of place] at 9:30,” and I send the address details and the woman says, “Okay, see you then 😊”
So, a beginner often makes the mistake of texting in a neutral way, which then makes the woman lose interest or worry that there isn’t enough of a spark between them to become lovers or boyfriend and girlfriend.
As a result, a woman will usually reject a guy when he then attempts to arrange a meetup or pretend to be busy to avoid getting further involved with him.
Yet, a guy who is a master or a pro on how to text women to get dates, sex and relationships, will text in an attractive way.
So, she then feels confident that there is a spark between them and feels excited to experience that in person.
As a result, she then happily says yes to a meetup.
2. Taking too long to ask her out.
Women don’t like it when they realize that a guy doesn’t think he’s good enough for her and assumes he has to put in loads of effort to hopefully get her to like him and accept him.
A beginner often assumes that he needs to text a woman for many hours, days and in some cases, even weeks before, she will say yes to a meetup.
As a result, he usually ends up in unnecessarily long text conversations that eventually fizzle out.
He put in all that effort for days or weeks and then got nothing in return.
On the other hand, a pro texter knows that as long as he makes the woman feel attracted via text, after getting her number in person, or matching with her on a dating app, she will happily agree to a date within 5 to 15 texts, back and forth, in most cases.
Sometimes it can take a little longer, but in most cases, a woman is ready to say yes very quickly, as long as the guy texts in an attractive way first.
3. Assuming that not replying to a woman for days or weeks will definitely make her want him more.
So, sometimes a woman will have a very high level of interest in a guy and if he texts back right away, the next day, or even weeks later, she won’t care.
She’ll be happy to be getting a text from him, but just because that happens with some women, it doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen with all.
When texting a woman, it’s important to understand that not all of them have the same level of interest in you and not all of them have the same level of confidence in themselves.
So, if a woman has a high level of interest in you, but she has a low level of confidence in herself and you don’t reply for many days or weeks, she can start to worry that if she sends another text before you’ve texted her, or if she replies right away when you text her, or if she shows some interest in her reply, you might then start to think that she is needy and you might start to look at her as being lower value.
She might worry that you will think she is too easy, or that you might not appreciate her as much as you would if she was a little harder to get.
She can start to worry about those sorts of things.
On the other hand, if a woman has a low level of interest in you, but a high level of confidence and you don’t reply right away when she texts you, you take a long time to reply, she may start to think that, “Okay, this guy isn’t needy, he isn’t desperate.”
Alternatively, she may start to think, “What’s with this guy? Why does he take so long to reply? Like, I hardly even like him. I send him a text he replies a week later, what’s his problem? Why doesn’t he text me right away? Next time he texts me, I’m not even going to reply.”
So, not every woman is the same, which is why, when you’re texting a woman, the best approach is to be confident enough to text her, then make her feel attracted when you’re texting her and then arrange a meetup.
No need for games.
If you play games (e.g. leave her on read, act uninterested) with a woman who’s insecure, or who doesn’t have enough interest in you, it will almost always backfire.
The next beginner mistake…
4. Sending regular good morning and goodnight texts.
Guys who are living their life, going after what they want in life and who understand one of the basic principles of attraction, which is that predictability kills attraction, will not send her a regular good morning and goodnight texts.
They’re just not going to do that, but a beginner will send those sorts of things because he thinks I need to stay on her mind.
He thinks, “I need to be showing lots of interest at all times so she is reassured, so that’s why I will text good morning or good night every day from now on” or, “I need to make sure that she doesn’t forget about me” and so on.
Yet, what often happens is that, if a woman has dated some guys who sent her regular good morning and goodnight texts and she ended up having to dump them, then she might place the new guy in the same type of category as those other guys (i.e. a guy that she is almost certainly going to have to dump).
So, when it comes to texts, you don’t need to be doing those sorts of things.
You don’t need to be playing games and trying to stay on a woman’s mind all the time.
You simply need to be confident enough to text her and when you text her, make her feel attracted and then arrange a meetup.
That’s all you need to be doing.
Then, when you’re in a relationship with her, you can text her back and forth to flirt a little bit and not arrange a meetup, that’s fine, but there’s no need for regular good morning and goodnight texts.
Of course, that doesn’t mean a guy can never send one, but there’s no need for regular good morning and goodnight texts.
It’s totally unnecessary and the predictability of it will kill the woman’s attraction.
She’ll start to get bored of getting those sorts of texts.
It’s not going to make her feel excited every morning, “Oh, another good morning text, oh, he said goodnight again. Wow, this is amazing.”
She’s not going to be feeling that.
She’s going to be like, “Mehh, another good morning text, whatever,” and get on with her day.
Now, that doesn’t mean a guy needs to text her something new and amazing every morning.
A guy doesn’t need to text anything unless he’s going to text her to attract her and arrange a meetup, or to flirt briefly and then end the conversation.
Beginners don’t realize that because they often make the next mistake on the list, which is…
5. Getting too excited about texting her.
This mistake can happen when a guy is interacting with a pretty woman in person, or via text.
If he rarely gets opportunities with women like her, as a beginner, he can make the mistake of becoming too excited.
In person, he’ll start confessing his feelings to her, he’ll start asking if she’s looking for a boyfriend, he’ll try hard to impress her and his body language will reveal that he’s so excited to be interacting with her and he’s so happy that he might actually get an opportunity with her.
Via text, he can seem too excited when he always texts way more than her during a conversation, or he doesn’t even wait for her to reply to his question and then he begins answering it for her within seconds, or gives her way too many compliments via text to the point where it feels like he’s trying to suck up to her.
The problem with that type of behavior is that the woman then gets the sense that she would almost be doing the guy a favor by giving him a chance and that’s not how a woman wants to feel.
A woman wants to feel like she is lucky to be getting a chance with you.
That doesn’t mean you have to be rude or treat her badly via text, but it does mean that you need to attract her and not become overly excited when texting her, to the point where she starts to feel like, “Okay, this guy is way too keen.”
That can then start to give her a false sense of superiority over the guy.
She can start to feel like she’s better than him, she is more valuable than him and so on and in many cases, it’s not even true.
The guy is a great guy.
He’d be a great boyfriend to her, or he is a cool guy, but the way he’s coming across via text is making her feel like she’s better than him, she’s of higher value than him and as a result, she then loses interest.
6. Thinking that he needs to express how he feels about her, to make her want to go on a date with him.
A guy expressing his feelings to a woman via text can work in some cases.
She has been texting him back and forth, she really likes him and both of them are a bit shy.
Then, one day he says he has something to tell her and he says that he likes her and she then says that she likes him as well and then they arrange a date.
Yet, in pretty much all other cases via text, a woman doesn’t need a guy to express his feelings for her, in order for her to say yes, to going out on a date with him.
She simply needs to feel a spark and for him to suggest a meetup in the right way.
One of the reasons why, is that sometimes a woman does want a relationship, but she doesn’t want to show too much interest in a relationship because she’s worried about seeming too keen, or she’s worried that the guy will think, “Okay, I’ve got this girl now, I don’t really need to do anything, she wants to be my girlfriend.”
In other cases, she isn’t interested in a relationship and just wants to have casual sex.
So, when a guy starts expressing his feelings for her, she worries that he’s going to want to be a serious boyfriend and he’s going to be a nightmare to break up with and so forth.
As a result, she then just says no when he wants to meet up with her because it seems too serious, too soon.
So, a beginner doesn’t know those sorts of things and sometimes he’ll have an opportunity with a woman he really likes and then he’ll step on a mine that will explode and cause him to lose his opportunity with her.
He’ll say that he really likes he and it’s just not what a woman like her wants to hear, because she either wants to have casual sex, or she does want a relationship, but she wants the guy to be a bit more of a challenge.
Alternatively, she does want a relationship, but she doesn’t want to show that yet.
She wants him to really appreciate getting her into a relationship, rather than her saying it right now via text.
She wants to go on a date first and see how she feels.
Then, they will get to the point where they kiss, have sex and begin a relationship.
She doesn’t want to say it now though.
She wants to let it happen naturally on the date and take it from there.
The final beginner mistake is…
7. Just texting to get messages back and feel good about himself.
The guy is happy that a woman is showing him interest via text.
He’s happy with just that.
The girl that he likes is texting him back, so it’s amazing for him.
She’s replying to him and he’s thinking, “This is amazing! I’m just going to keep talking to her…this is so exciting!”
Yet, there comes a point in a text conversation where you have to arrange a meetup.
Additionally, if a guy doesn’t understand how to attract women via text, then the longer he texts, the more chance there is that he’s going to stuff up.
He’s going to say something wrong, he’s going to say something that turns her off and he’s going to lose his opportunity with her.
So, that’s why you should just focus on making her feel attracted and then get her to meet up with you.
If you want to learn exactly how to do that, I recommend that you watch my program, Text Attraction.
Text Attraction is the ultimate guide on how to attract women via text, for dates, sex and relationships.
When you use the Text Attraction method, women will always feel attracted to you via text, they’ll contribute to the conversation, they’ll enjoy talking to you via text and they’ll say yes when you request a meetup.
Text Attraction also comes with a free bonus called 1200 Text Examples and that is a collection of all the texts from the program, in order, with a table of contents.
That way, you can instantly find and relearn any attractive texts you need when you’re texting live with a woman you like.
Texting Women to Get Dates, Sex or a Relationship
The thing is, texting to get dates is a very easy thing to do when you know where the mines are on the minefield.
You know what to avoid and you know the path to get to where you want to.
On the other hand, if a guy’s just texting blindly and is walking across the minefield, hoping that it doesn’t blow up and he doesn’t lose his opportunity with a woman, then he is essentially relying on getting lucky.
Yet, when a guy knows how to attract women via text to get dates, things flow from one step to the next very easily.
He texts the woman, she feels attracted and even if she’s being a bit difficult, he knows what to text her to make her feel attracted and laugh and stop being difficult, before he then suggests the meetup that she says yes to.
So, sometimes when you’re walking across the minefield, you have to take a right turn and then a left turn and then another right turn, before you go straight and you get to the other side.
At the end of the day though, you get the result that you want.
You get her out on a date and then you have sex, or a relationship with her and enjoy the great times together from there.
The ultimate guide on how to attract women via text for dates, sex and relationships.14 hours, 24 mins of video. Presented by Dan Bacon. Instant download/watch online. Opens and plays on phones, tablets and desktop computers. Learn More