The main rule of texting a woman is to keep things pretty short and to the point and then transition to a phone call.
Transitioning to a phone call speeds up the process of then getting her to agree to meet up with you in person, where you can then attract her properly and escalate to a kiss, sex and then relationship.
However, if you waste a lot of time (e.g. days, weeks or months) texting a woman, there’s no guarantee that she will wait around for you.
If another guy comes along and gets her to meet up with him and have sex with him, you may be forgotten and left behind regardless of how long you’ve been texting with her.
Some Dos and Don’ts of Texting
So, how do you keep things short and then move to a phone call, date, sex and relationship?
1. Do text her to let her know you’re interested in her.
A lot of guys who get a phone number from a woman are worried about looking too keen or interested.
Yet, here’s what you need to remember if you want to be successful with women…
Prior to SEX, you ain’t got nothing.
You might have her phone number and she may have liked you when she met you, but prior to actually having sex with her you are just another guy that she’s given her number to.
So, don’t waste time trying to act cool by not texting her for a long time. Get things moving along by texting her that night or the next day.
You meet an attractive woman (e.g. at a party, bar or club, through mutual friends) and she gives you her phone number.
Before you walk away, you say, “Okay, great to meet you. I’ll send you a text or give you a call soon.”
Now what? What should you text her?
One of the best ways to make contact with her for the first time is to just send her a text message to say hi, and let her know that you are interested in her.
- The same night: Hi Linda, it’s Dan here. I just wanted to say hello so you’ve got my number too. Chat to you soon.
- The next day: Hey, Dan here. It was great meeting you the other night. I’ll call you early this week.
- The next day: Hey Linda. Dan from the other night (the very handsome guy at the bar). I hope you’re having a great day. Chat to you soon – I’ll give you a call tomorrow or the next day.
Sending her a text like that serves two purposes:
- Now she has your number and can text you or call you if she wants to.
- She is clear about your interest in her and doesn’t have to waste a lot of time wondering if you’re ever going to contact her or not.
It’s great that you’ve gotten her number and have sent the first text, but just remember that prior to sex, there are no guarantees that she will remain interested.
If you want to be successful at having lovers or getting a girlfriend, you’ve got to move things forward to sex as soon as possible, rather than wasting a lot of time with sex.
Today’s world doesn’t work in the same way as it did for your grandparents or their parents.
Back in the old days, a man could court a woman for months and she would remain loyal to him because sex before marriage was forbidden.
Yet, in today’s world, people have sex right away, so if you waste a lot of time texting a woman, another guy will simply come along, have sex with her and start a relationship.
The sexual encounter may then lead to a long term relationship or even marriage and you will have then lost your chance with her.
2. Don’t text her all the time.
Imagine that you sent her a text message and she replied saying, “Hey Dan. It was nice meeting you too. I look forward to hearing from you.”
What do you do next?
Some guys will take this as a sign that she’s interested (which she is) and will then make the mistake of texting her repeatedly as a way to stay on her mind and to keep reminding her how much he likes her.
For example: A guy like might start sending her texts about what he’s up to during the day, keep telling her how beautiful she is, how his heart beats faster when he thinks about her, or even how glad he is that he’s finally met a girl who seems right for him.
In his mind, he’s being romantic and he’s hoping that this will make her like him even more and she will then be willing to go out on a date with him.
Yet, if he hasn’t even kissed her, a modern woman is usually going to find this type of texting creepy or desperate; not romantic.
Of course, unattractive women or some young girls who are totally inexperienced in dating and relationships might enjoy his attention for a little while, but a real woman won’t be charmed by this type of constant, sappy attention.
Most women will take it as a sign that he’s desperate and she will also begin to wonder if he’s got anything else going on in his life, because a real man who is actively rising through the levels of life doesn’t have the time to send pointless texts to women.
If she gets that impression of him, an attractive woman will usually begin to think that he’s not the type of guy she wants in her life.
Women are instinctively attracted to strong (emotionally), confident men who know what they want from life and are striving to accomplish their goals.
A woman instinctively knows that a guy like that will be able to take care of her and will be someone she can rely on in difficult times.
On the other hand, a weak, desperate and insecure guy is a turn off, because most women don’t want to feel like they are doing a guy a favor by being with him, or that they are finally giving him a sense of purpose in life.
Women want to be the ones who feel lucky to have snagged a cool guy who has big goals and ambitions other than just women.
So, if you don’t want her to think you’re a desperate, needy guy who hasn’t got other options with women besides her, simply relax and don’t get too carried away texting her several times a day; no matter how tempting it might be, or even if she’s doing it first.
3. Do text her like a confident, masculine man.
A common mistake guys make is getting sucked into texting in a girly or childish way.
Women hate that. Why?
Women are attracted to our masculinity, rather than any fake femininity or confused femininity.
A woman doesn’t want you to think, act, feel, talk, behave or respond like a girl.
She wants you to embrace your masculinity and be manly, even if she is being really girly.
For example: Some men (even though they are in their 20s, 30s, 40s or 50s) will copy the texting style of young girl or boy by texting things like:
- im l8t c u in 15
- r u bizzee?
- c u l8r
- OMG…u r funny 2 nite
- c u soon …xoxoxo
Do you think that a woman will perceive a guy as being a masculine, manly guy if he texts her in that way?
She’s going to think of him as being a bit immature and lacking in masculinity.
Compare that to a guy who cleaned up that texting style and wrote like a mature man:
- I’m running late. See you in 15.
- Are you busy right now?
- See you later.
- Haha…you’re funny tonight.
- See you soon.
See the difference?
The first examples look like texts from a little boy or girl, while the second versions are cleaned up to be more mature, masculine and classy.
So, when you text a woman, make sure that your texting style is that of a confident, masculine man, rather than acting like a girl or boy.
The wrong way for a guy to text a woman would be, “Hey, i lyke u. u wanna go on a d8t wit me?” while the right way would be, “Hey Jenny – great meeting you the other night. I’ve give you a call soon.”
In the wrong way to text a woman, not only does the guy come across as being girly and childish, which is a turn off for most women, but he is also asking a woman out on a date via text, which is a definite no-no.
In the right way to text a woman, the guy sounds strong, confident and in control; all qualities that are sexually attractive to women.
Women want guys who behave like men, not like little girly boys who want to behave in a cutesie way, hoping to fit in and be liked by acting like her.
4. Don’t use texting as an excuse not to call her.
Some guys get a woman’s phone number, but after making the initial effort to text her, they freeze up and stop there, because they lack confidence in their ability to attract her again in person and keep her interested in a relationship begins.
They start to doubt themselves and may begin thinking, “What if I call her up and she doesn’t like me after all?” or “What if I call her and I freeze up? She’ll think I’m an idiot. At least texting is safe. I can think about what I’m going to say to her first. Besides, she seems okay with me texting…”
The fact is, no matter how nice and safe it might feel to text a woman, and even if it seems like she’s enjoying it, it’s not going to go anywhere until you pick up the phone and arrange to meet her in person.
You need to get her on a phone call so you can get her laughing and feeling excited to be talking to you again.
On a phone call, she can re-connect with those feelings of attraction she felt when she was interacting with you in person, because she can experience things about you that turned her on (e.g. your confidence, charm, masculine vibe).
Keep Your Eyes on the Prize
As you can see, what to text to a woman is not really that important as getting her on a call, meeting up with her and then having sex with her.
The most important thing you need to remember, is that if you don’t meet up with her in person and get to kissing and sex so that a real relationship can begin, your “relationship” with her is only a fantasy.
It might feel good to text back and forth, and it might even feel great to talk to her over the phone, but it’s nothing compared to the feeling of holding her in your arms, kissing her, having sex and enjoying the pleasure of a loving, committed relationship.
So, when you get a woman’s phone number, text her to let her know that you are interested, get her on a phone call, and then get on with the business of starting a relationship with her.
Don’t waste time texting and hoping that if you can just send her a magical text message, you won’t have to do much to attract her in person.
Texts should only be used as a way to let her know that you’re interested, have a bit of a laugh via text and then get her on a call.
If you don’t get to the point of having sex with her, another guy can easily come along and do things properly and he will then get into a real relationship with her.
So, if you have a woman’s number right now, text her to let her know that you’re interested or to make her laugh a little and then get her on a call.
When you’re on a call with her, get her laughing a little more and then arrange a time to catch up in person.
When you catch up in person, move the date to kissing and then sex.
When that happens, you will have begun a real relationship, rather than just a temporary text exchange.