1. Sometimes a woman will miss her ex after no contact if she can’t seem to move on
Sometimes, when a guy cuts off all contact with his ex (i.e. he uses No Contact to make her miss him) after a break, she may initially think something along the lines of, “This is for the best. I know the right man for me is out there and now I can focus on finding him, rather than being stuck in a miserable relationship.”
She may then focus on moving on and finding herself a replacement man as quickly as possible.
For example: She might…
- Go out to clubs, bars and parties with her single friends.
- Join an online dating site or go on an app like Tinder.
- Join a meet up group in her area so that she can connect with like-minded people, especially men.
- Make it clear on social media that she’s now single, in the hope that any guys who might be interested in her will make a move.
However, as the days and possibly even weeks go by, she may notice that nothing is really happening and that she’s not moving on as quickly as she had originally hoped.
When that happens, she might find herself thinking about her ex more and more.
However, rather than remember all the negative things about him that used to turn her off (e.g. he was insecure and that made him clingy and needy, he was unreliable, he was boring and she felt more like his friend than his lover), like she used to do when they first broke up, she instead starts thinking about all the nice things about him that she misses (e.g. his sense of humor, how he always treated her well, his adventurous spirit).
She’ll then likely begin thinking things like, “I miss him so much. Why isn’t he calling me anymore? I hope he hasn’t already forgotten about me and moved on. Maybe I should contact him to see what he’s been up to.”
She might then text him, send him a message via social media or call him to say hi and see what happens from there.
When that happens, as long as the guy has been using the time apart to change and improve some of the things that turned her off in the relationship, he can easily reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for him and get her back.
Of course, if the guy has just been using No Contact to get her back, but hasn’t done anything else in that time to change and improve some of his issues, she will pick up on it right away and she will then tell herself something like, “Even though I’ve been struggling to move on and find another man, I’m still better off without him. He’s still stuck at the same level he was at when we broke up and it doesn’t look like he’s ever going to change, or even know what or how to change. I need to accept that what we had is 100% over and forget about him. I will just have to wait for as long as it takes to find a new man.”
She then cuts herself off from him and continues to try and move on.
This is why, if you are using No Contact to get your ex back, make sure that you’re ready if she decides to reach out to you.
You need to prepare to give her an upgraded attraction experience.
For example: Some examples of how to do that are…
- Show her by way of your behavior, conversation style and actions that you have already fixed some of the issues that were turning her off before (e.g. if you were insecure and self-doubting before you’re now more confident and self-assured, if you weren’t ballsy enough with her and you allowed her to dominate you in the relationship with her confident personality you now stand up to her and put her in her place in a loving but assertive manner).
- React differently to what she says and does (e.g. if she previously made you feel angry when she created unnecessary drama, you now relax and lovingly laugh at her attempts to get to you).
- Make her feel feminine and girly in your presence by thinking, talking, behaving, feeling and acting like a masculine man, rather than being extra nice or neutral around her.
When she experiences the new you for herself, she naturally opens back up to you and you can then easily and effortlessly make her your girl again.
Another reaction to No Contact is…
2. Some women don’t care the minute they break up with a guy, so No Contact doesn’t have much, or any effect
In quite a lot of cases, by the time a woman reaches the point where she breaks up with a guy, she has fully disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
So, when the break up finally happens, it’s more of a relief to her to be out of the relationship, than a disaster and she’s likely just focusing on moving on, getting on with her life and finding a new man as quickly as possible.
Of course, she might also be worried that her ex will try to get her back and she may be thinking things like, “I just want this relationship to be behind me so that I can get on with my life. I really hope he’s not going to make it difficult for me by chasing after me and begging and pleading with me to give him another chance, because I just don’t have any desire to deal with that.”
This is why, if the guy then chooses No Contact as his preferred method of getting her back, rather than make her miss him, she instead only feels a lot of relief that her fears about him trying to get her back didn’t come true.
She then promptly forgets all about him as she continues to move forward in her life without him.
If he then contacts her after a few weeks or even months to see if he can get her back, she has usually already moved on and she may then say something like, “Wow, why are you calling me after all this time? I thought you’d moved on when I didn’t hear from you and I did the same. What we had is over, so please don’t call me again. Bye.”
He is then left feeling dejected and wondering why No Contact didn’t make her miss him.
Here’s the thing…
If you want your ex to miss you and give you another chance, the best approach to take is to actively make her have feelings for you again by interacting with her and re-attracting her.
In most ex back cases, you can’t just sit back and hope that by ignoring her for a few weeks or months, she’s going to miraculously develop strong sexual and romantic feelings for you again.
It rarely, if ever happens.
In almost cases, the woman just moves on.
So, without being needy or pushy, you should interact with your ex via text, social media, on the phone or in person, so you can re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
Then, if you want to, you can give her a week of space (not longer than that) to really miss you and want you back.
However, that will only happen if you’ve re-sparked her feelings first.
If you haven’t, she simply won’t care and she will continue to move on.
Another reaction to No Contact is…
3. Some women wait for a while for their ex to start the ex back process, but then move on when he takes too long to make a move
There are times when a woman will break up with a guy, but at the back of her mind she still hopes they will work things out and get back together again.
Essentially, she’s likely hoping that after a few days, he will call her and they can then work things out between them.
However, even a woman who is secretly waiting for her ex to start the ex back process with her, him cutting off communication with her actually helps her get over him.
Imagine a woman is sitting at home after a break up and missing her ex.
Although she might be feeling some pain, anger and disappointment about the break up, she’s also feeling hopeful about working things out with him.
Yet, rather than him call her up after a few days and actively begin reactivating some of her feelings of respect and attraction for him again, he instead chooses to use the No Contact Rule to make her miss him.
He then cuts off all communication with her (i.e. he stops texting, calling or even messaging her on social media) for weeks and maybe even months.
When this happens, she starts to doubt his feelings for her and she begins to wonder things like, “Why is he ignoring me? Doesn’t he care about me at all? I thought that he’d at least just text or phone to check if I’m okay, but I haven’t heard from him even once since we broke up. What a fool I’ve been, sitting her and hoping that he might also want us to get back together again, like I do. He’s obviously already over me and moving on with his life. Maybe he didn’t even love me at all. What a jerk! Well, I’m not going to waste another second waiting for him and missing him. If he can forget about me so easily, then I can do the same. In fact, I’m going to call my friends right now and organize a girls night out where I can meet new guys and even get laid if I want to.”
She then puts all her effort into completely switching off her feelings for him (e.g. by focusing on the anger she feels towards him for ignoring her, by actively moving on with or hooking up with another guy).
If the guy then contacts her after 30 or 60 days of no contact to get her back, she will likely say something like, “I can’t believe you have the nerve to call me after all this time. Well, here’s a news flash for you… when we broke up I really did care for you and I thought that you felt the same way about me too. I spent weeks waiting for you to even just text me once to see how I was doing, but that never happened. So, I gave up and moved on. Now after all this time you call me out of the blue and I’m not sure what you were hoping to achieve with that, but before you say anything, let me tell you that I’ve met someone else and I’m happy now. So, please leave me alone and don’t call me again. Bye.”
He’s then left feeling devastated and wondering what went wrong.
Don’t let that happen to you.
Remember: To get an ex back, you have to be active about it rather than inactive.
That means, you can’t ignore her and hope that her feelings for you will grow.
So, if you want your ex to miss you, you can give her a few days of space.
However, anything longer than a week is a waste of time and it only helps her get over you faster and move on.
Another reaction to No Contact is…
4. Some women are so turned off by the time they eventually break up that they quickly move on with a new guy to feel better
Sometimes, a woman has lost so much respect, attraction and love for her guy that her main focus after the break up is to find a new man as quickly as possible to get revenge on her ex for what happened in the relationship with him.
She may even think things like, “I’ll show him that I don’t need him in my life. In fact, I can get any man I want and I don’t have to settle for a jerk like him anymore!”
She then opens herself up to meeting and hooking up with single, available men.
Remember: Most women are perfectly capable of finding a new guy who wants to have sex with her, date her and get into a relationship with her.
So, if her ex then uses No Contact as a way of getting her back, rather than think, “I feel so sad and hurt that my ex isn’t calling me up. I miss him so much,” she will more than likely be thinking, “It’s such a relief to be out of that relationship and not have to hear from him anymore. I can finally move on with my life and enjoy a happy, healthy relationship with a new man now.”
This is why, if you want your ex to miss you, you have to reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and you can’t do that if you’re ignoring her.
You need to call her on the phone or meet up with her in person and show her that you’re a new and improved man now.
When she can see for herself that you no longer turn her off in the ways you used to before (e.g. you’re more confident and self-assured rather than insecure and needy, you’re more ballsy rather than a push over with her, you more emotionally masculine which makes her feel feminine and girly when she’s with you), she will naturally feel more open to reconnecting with her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
When that happens, getting her back becomes easy.
However, if you just ignore her and hope that will change how she feels, don’t be shocked when you find her in a new relationship when you contact her after 30 or 60 days of No Contact.
Common Problems Guys Experience When Using No Contact to Get an Ex Back
Although No Contact can work in some situations (e.g. when a woman is still in love with her guy and really wants to get back with him, she is really struggling to find a replacement guy and decides to get back with him rather than be single while still secretly looking for another guy), most of the time it backfires and is the cause of a guy losing his ex for real.
For example: Some of the common problems guys experience when using No Contact are…
1. She doesn’t contact him and then doesn’t reply when he contacts her
Regardless of how a woman feels about her ex after a break (e.g. she no longer feels respect, attraction or love for him, she still cares for him and wants him back, she’s open to being friends with him), when he cuts off all contact with her as a way of getting her back, it can potentially lead to her…
- Getting over the pain of the break up and realizing that she’s actually fine without him in her life.
- Feeling attracted to other guys (and liking it).
- Getting annoyed with him for not having the balls to get her back and make the relationship better this time around.
- Believing that he doesn’t care about her anymore.
This may cause her to think things like, “Well, if this is how it has to end between us, so be it. I’m better off without him anyway,” and she then puts even more effort into moving on as quickly as possible.
Then, when her ex finally contacts her after 30 or 60 days, rather than respond immediately and say something along the lines of, “I’m so happy to hear from you. I’ve really missed you! Can we meet up so that we can catch up,” she instead just ignores him.
He may then wonder things like, “What happened? Isn’t ignoring a woman supposed to make her miss me and want me back? Why hasn’t that happened with my ex? Why isn’t she replying to my texts/e-mails/calls/social media messages?”
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that No Contact is not the easiest, fastest or most efficient way to get an ex back.
Calling her on the phone or meeting up with her in person and actively making her have feelings for him again.
When she experiences the new him and begins to like him again, it’s a lot easier for her to stop focusing on how he behaved near the end of the relationship and shortly after the break up.
On the other hand, if he ignores her, she will only have his past and current behavior to gauge him on (i.e. that he stuffed up in the relationship and that he’s now ignoring her) and that will usually only convince her that she’s better off without him.
So, if you’re serious about getting your ex back, forget about using No Contact to make her miss you and focus instead on actively replacing her negative thoughts and memories about you (e.g. anger, resentment, indifference), with new, positive feelings (e.g. respect, attraction, joy).
She then naturally drops her guard and opens back up to giving you another chance.
Another common problem guys experience when using No Contact is…
2. Not understanding that the No Contact Rule works better for women to get a man back
If a woman ignores her ex after a break up, chances are high that he will come back to her. Why?
Some of the reasons are…
If a man can’t get any action, he will usually go back to his ex to get some.
Alternatively, if a man dumps a woman and she accepts it and doesn’t ever contact him, he will often want to get her back with her just to feel like he has that power over her.
On the other hand, when a man uses No Contact as his main method of getting her back, it rarely works out. Why?
To begin with, when a woman has disconnected from her sexual and romantic feelings for a guy, not hearing from him is what she wants, because it gives her the chance to move on.
Also, most women are attractive enough to easily find a new man, so when a woman’s ex ignores her after the break up, she will usually have plenty of guys chasing after her and making her feel attractive, wanted and desirable.
She may then hook up with one of them, rather than chase after an ex that she assumes is no longer interested in her.
Finally, even if a woman does miss her ex, when she doesn’t hear from him for a long time, rather than risk contacting him and being rejected by him, she instead tries to get over him and move on.
So, as you can see, using No Contact to make your ex miss you is not the best idea.
However, if you call her right away and start reactivating her feelings for you, she could be back in your arms sooner rather than later.
Doesn’t that sound better than waiting for her to come back to you and risking losing her to another guy?