Here are 6 possible reasons why your girlfriend has become so heartless when it comes to you:

1. She just doesn’t care anymore

Some women break up with a guy and continue to be nice to him, or even stay friends with him, even though they no longer want to be in a relationship.

There are also women who believe that once a breakup has happened, they no longer have to interact with, or be nice to their ex.

Since she doesn’t feel much (or any) respect and attraction for her ex and doesn’t see a future with him, then logically (in her mind), she believes that there’s no real need for her to be nice to him anymore.

After all, she doesn’t want to give him the wrong idea and let him feel like there’s still a chance.

She wants to seem cold, distant or what he may perceive to be heartless or selfish, so he feels unwelcome to get her back.

Rather than being nice to him, she will try to cut him out of her life and begin to move on as fast as she can.

So, the question is: Can you do anything to change her mind at this point?


If you want your ex girlfriend to stop being so heartless and give you another chance, you have to make her feel as though it’s in her best interests to get back with you.

Don’t tell her that.

Make her feel it.

Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend is being so heartless, is…

2. She’s trying to make you lose interest in her, so you move on

When a guy gets dumped by the woman he loves, he will often try everything he can to get her back right away.

For example: He might…

  • Start begging and pleading to hopefully get her to change her mind, which then makes him come across as emotionally weak and turns her off even more.
  • Apologize to her over and over again for what happened between them and possibly take all the blame, which then gives her a sense of power and control over him that she doesn’t want. It can also make her feel as though she’s too good for him and would be doing him a favor by getting back with him.
  • Make promises to change and become the man she wants him to be, if she will just give him another chance. That makes him appear desperate, which isn’t a trait that attracts women. As a result, she feels more turned off and more certain about her decision to end the relationship.
  • Ask her to tell him what he needs to do, change or be to make her want to be with him. She then feels turned off because a woman doesn’t want to be responsible for shaping him into the man that he needs to become (i.e. she doesn’t want to be his mentor). She just wants a man who can figure it out on his own and then do it (without having to talk about it with her in detail), rather than leaning on her for guidance and support.
  • Try to change her mind by bombarding her with gifts, flowers and being as nice to her as possible. He might even her out financially, to hopefully make her feel as though she needs him. Yet, a woman doesn’t fall in love with a guy because of what he can buy for her. Instead, a woman falls in love and remains in love based on how she feels when with a man. If she feels turned off by subtle or obvious mistakes he makes in the relationship (e.g. being insecure, not being manly enough), then she simply won’t be able to remain in love.
  • Send her a series of texts, or messages on social media, or type up a long email to tell her how much he loves her and how her being so heartless towards him is making him feel. Yet, she doesn’t care about his feelings anymore because she no longer has feelings for him and has ended the relationship. He’s not her responsibility anymore. She is now only focused on how she feels and what she wants. If he doesn’t understand that and keeps expressing his feelings, she may even accuse him of being selfish.

Acting cold mean or heartless to discourage her ex boyfriend from wanting to get her back

To make an ex boyfriend like that stop and hopefully give up on trying to get her back, a woman will often begin to act cold and heartless towards him.

Essentially, she’s hoping that he’ll think something like, “I’ve tried everything to make her change her mind, but nothing has worked. Maybe it’s time to accept that I’ve lost her and that we’ll never be a couple again.”

He might then give up and try to move on, which then allows her to begin moving on as well.

Can a guy still get his ex girlfriend back in a situation like that?


However, he has to use a new approach with her.

An approach that makes her feel attracted, rather than repelled or repulsed by him.

Only when she feels attracted, will she begin to care.

Remember: All she cares about at the moment are her feelings.

Your feelings no longer matter.

So, if you want her to care and want you back, you have to reawaken her feelings for you.

Another possible reason for her heartless behavior is…

3. She’s testing your confidence and ability to maintain control of your emotions like a man

A woman feels instinctively attracted to a man’s confidence and turned off by his emotional weakness and insecurity.

So, after a breakup, a woman will instinctively test her ex’s confidence, before she will become open to relaxing her guard and possibly giving him another chance.

Some of the ways a woman will test her ex’s confidence after a break up, can include:

  • She is nice to him one minute and then cold or mean the next.
  • She tells him that she hates him and will never forgive him for what he put her through.
  • She is mean and hurtful towards him.
  • She cuts off contact and refuses to answer his texts or phone calls, doesn’t want to meet up with him and unfriends him on social media.
  • She pretends as though she doesn’t care about him or their breakup.
  • She says that she feels happier now without him.
  • She replies to his texts in a short, cold or distant manner.

If her intention is to test his confidence, she will be doing those things to see how emotionally strong he really is.

For example:

  • Will her behavior cause him to fall apart and start doubting his chances with her, or will he maintain his confidence and do what needs to be done to get her back (i.e. make her have feelings for him again)?
  • Will he beg, plead and ask her to tell him what he’s doing wrong and why she’s being so heartless, or will he use humor to make her laugh and smile, feel good and want to be nicer to him?
  • Will he walk away and give up on getting her back just because she’s being mean to him, or will he laugh it off confidently and simply focus on re-attracting her?
  • Will he become angry and send her emotional, out of control texts, or will he maintain control of his emotions like a man?
  • Will he pour his heart out to her and seek pity for how she is making him feel, or will her heartless behavior be like water off a duck’s back for him (i.e. he doesn’t get dragged down by it. It doesn’t negatively affect him)?

Depending on his reactions, she will either feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him for being an emotionally strong man despite her bad behavior, or she will lose more respect and attraction and feel like she made the right decision to leave him.

This is why, it’s essential that you remain confident at all times, no matter what your ex girlfriend says and does to bring you down, or how coldly she treats you during interactions.

Women are attracted to the emotional strength of men and turned off by the weakness, so don’t let her sense that she is weakening you in any way.

Let her sense your emotional strength.

When you do that, she won’t be able to stop the reawakening of her feelings for you.

Her feelings will begin to flood back into her heart and mind and she will feel drawn to you in a way that feels good to her.

Another possible reason for her behavior, is…

4. She’s doing what you might do if a woman was trying to get you back when you no longer felt attracted to her

Imagine this…

A woman you didn’t feel attracted to anymore, kept calling you, texting, messaging or even showing up unexpectedly at some of the places you like to hang out at with friends.

Not only that, she constantly talks about how she wants you and her to be a couple again, how much she loves you and how she feels like you’re the one for her.

Are you going to say, “Oh, okay! Cool! Let’s be a couple then! Even though I don’t have any feelings for you and nothing about you is making me feel attracted to you, I will be your loving boyfriend because you want it so much and because you’re so nice. After all, how I feel doesn’t really matter, right? It’s your feelings that are important. So, let’s get back into a relationship” or are you going to try to make her understand that you don’t want to be with her anymore (even if that means you have to behave in a way that she might perceive as being mean or heartless)?

Get it?

In the same way, your ex girlfriend isn’t going to give you another chance with her just because you want her so much.

If you want her back, you need to make her have real feelings for you again.

If you don’t approach the ex back process in that way and instead, just try to get her back by being nice, pleading, expressing your feelings, asking what you need to change or do so she will want to be with you, then it’s only natural that she might have become a little colder towards you lately.

She may not want to be so mean, or heartless, but she wants you to get the message (i.e. “You have feelings for me. I don’t have feelings for you. So, it’s over. Leave me alone”).

So, if you want her back, stop making her feel that the only thing you want from her is to get her back.

Instead, make her want the relationship for her own reasons.

For example:

  • She feels attracted to you in new and exciting ways.
  • She can see that you’ve leveled up as a man and can now give her the attraction experience she always wanted from you, but never got (e.g. you’re more of a playful challenge now, you are more manly now, you are no longer intimidated by her confident, or independent personality, you are able to flirt with her to create sexual tension now).
  • She feels like if she got back with you, the relationship really will be different this time around.
  • She realizes that you’re so much more attractive now, so if you met a pretty girl, she’d almost certainly like you and you could then move on without getting her back. If she saw you move on with a pretty girl, when she hadn’t yet found a good enough replacement guy, she would feel rejected and as though she is the one who got left behind, or lost out as a result of the breakup.

As a result, getting her back becomes easy because she wants it too.

However, if you try to get her back based on how you feel and what you want, she will almost certainly continue to act like a heartless, cold woman towards you.

5. She was never in love with you the way you were in love with her

In some cases, a woman will get into a relationship with a guy she’s not 100% attracted to, or compatible with.

She may think, “He’s a good guy and really seems to care about me. I don’t feel the way I really want to, but hopefully, over time, I will grow to love him as much as he loves me.”

If he knows how to build on her feelings over time, then she will want to hold onto him and never let him go.

They’ll end up engaged, married and will start a family, or will remain boyfriend and girlfriend for life.

That happens all the time.

Yet, what also happens all the time is where a guy doesn’t know how to build on a woman’s feelings over time.

No matter how long she waits, she never really feels that ‘spark’ with him and eventually, for the sake of her own happiness, she decides to break up with him.

If the guy then tries to get her back without reawakening her sexual and romantic feelings for him, she will usually reject him.

He may then wonder, “Huh? Why is she being so heartless?! After everything I’ve done for her, how can she just walk away like this? She is being so heartless. It’s like I don’t even matter at all, or like she never really cared. How can she be so cold?”

The reason why is that she feels resentful about wasting so much time on a relationship that she didn’t ever truly believe in.

She wasted more of her youthful attractiveness on a guy that couldn’t give her the kind of relationship dynamic she wants (i.e. to be in love, to progress as a couple, to feel better with him than she would feel on her own, to look up to him and respect him as her man).

After a breakup like that, a woman will often act mean and bitchy towards her ex as a way of discouraging him from seducing her back into a relationship.

Of course, the good news is that even when a woman is being heartless, it doesn’t mean her feelings are set in stone and can’t change.

He can get her back, but not with the same old approach to attraction that she became bored of in the relationship.

6. She already has a new guy and was getting ready to be with him before she broke up with you

In many cases, a woman will have already have found herself a replacement guy before breaking up with her boyfriend.
She will then begin to pull away from her guy (e.g. stop seeing him as often, not be available when he tries to see her, not reply to his texts as much) in preparation for what is to come (i.e. her moving on with her new man).

Then, when the breakup happens, she will immediately start dating the new guy.

Naturally, that kind of behavior can cause her ex boyfriend to wonder, “How can she be so heartless? Did what we have together as a couple mean nothing to her?”

Unfortunately, he didn’t realize that she had been preparing herself for the breakup for weeks or months, so she was ready to move on right away.

By the time she broke up with him, she really didn’t care about him much anymore and was focused on herself and the new guy.

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