So, how can you get and ex back that you have children with?
Here are the 6 things that you need to be aware of.
1. Don’t think that you will get her back by giving more
Whenever I’ve helped a man to get his woman back that he has children with, I’ve found that the approach he’s been using is about giving more.
He wants to show her that he’s a supportive, generous, loving, caring dad.
He wants to make her life as easy as possible.
He might take on extra chores, do extra things with the kids, pay more money and generally just try to show her that, “Hey, I can do whatever you want. I’ll be there and I’ll do anything for you.”
Now, while that’s great and it’s very noble, it’s not the one main thing that is going to make her want to be back in a relationship with him.
Without sexual attraction, a woman doesn’t feel like there is any reason to be in a sexual relationship with a man.
She will be in a friendship with a man or baby daddy situation, an ex situation with a guy who’s friendly and supportive, but if a man wants to be in a sexual romantic relationship with her, there needs to be sexual attraction.
Most of how women feel sexually attracted to a guy is in how he comes across to her, his conversation style, his behavior and how he reacts to her.
So, say for example, a guy catches up with his ex-woman that he has children with and he hands over the children because he’s been looking after them.
When they’re about to part ways, he and the woman give each other a hug, yet she gives him a hug like just a pat in the back sort of hug.
It’s not a warm loving hug.
What can he do to make her feel sexually attracted to him in that moment?
Well, what he needs to do is to make her feel feminine in comparison to his masculinity.
In other words, make her feel like the woman.
Don’t make her feel like they’re just neutral friends.
Don’t make it feel like it’s just a friendly pat in the back sort of hug.
So, he gives her a hug goodbye and she gives him a distant, pat on the back hug then he smiles and says, “What? That’s all I get? Is that a pat in the back? Come here. Bring it in for a real hug.”
He then gives her a warm real hug and gets her to give him a proper hug.
As a result, she feels more feminine because he’s dominating her, but he’s not being an asshole about it.
What women want is a man who can dominate them in a loving way.
It’s about being dominant, but also being loving and being a good man at the same time.
I’m not saying she gives you pat in the back sort of hug and then you angrily say, “Oh, what’s that?” You know, “Give me a proper hug. Come here.”
Reacting like that is not going to make her feel attracted because that’s a guy who’s losing control of his emotions.
Women are attracted to men who maintain control, who don’t get thrown off by a situation and can also make a woman do what they want them to do.
So, bringing it back to what I was saying earlier, don’t think that you’re going to get her back by giving more.
I’ve literally dealt with maybe about 50 cases where a man is trying to get a woman back that he has children with and maybe about 95% of the time, guys do this.
The man is just being generous and nice and supportive and giving and taking things off her plate.
He’s hoping that she will see that he’s just such a great man for her and that she’s never going to be able to find another guy who treats her in such a nice, supportive way.
Yet, the thing is that the same rules of attraction apply to picking up new women, being on a date with a woman, being in a relationship with a woman and getting an ex back.
For example: Women don’t like it when they meet a guy for the first time and he’s just sucking up to them.
He’s just buying her drinks and being super nice and polite to her.
That isn’t the thing that makes her think, “Wow, I want to have sex with this guy. I want to be in a relationship with this guy.”
Sexual attraction is something that you can CREATE based on your behavior, based on how you talk to a woman.
So, when you’re interacting with your ex that you have children with, you need to be creating sparks of sexual attraction inside of her.
When she’s feeling that, she’s going to feel drawn to you.
She’s going to start missing your presence in her life.
She’s going to start imagining kissing you again, having sex with you and as a result, she’s going to start becoming interested in being with you again.
Now, all that said, I’m not saying that it’s wrong to be a good man, to be supportive and be nice to your woman that you have children with.
There’s nothing wrong with making her life a little bit easier if you want to do that and there’s nothing wrong with being a good dad.
There’s nothing wrong with that at all.
Don’t get me wrong.
Yet, just don’t think that it’s going to be the thing that makes her feel like, “Wow, I want to kiss him. I want to have sex with him.”
It’s just not going to work.
So, what should you do instead?
2. Focus on attraction, rather than pressuring for a relationship
Pressuring for a relationship can happen in obvious and subtle ways.
Obvious is where you’re talking about the relationship, trying to work on the relationship, asking for a second chance, asking if the door is still open and trying to get her to commit to the idea of being together.
Subtle, means that it’s coming across in your energy.
She can feel it, she can sense it, she can pick up on it.
When she interacts with you and when she notices your body language, when she notices your behavior, she can sense it.
She can sense that you really do want to be in a relationship with her.
You’re lost without her, you desperately miss her and you’re hoping that she just turns around one day and says, “I miss you. I want to be with you.”
She can sense that.
So, what you need to do if you want to get her back is to not be focusing on trying to get the end result of a relationship right now.
You need to be focusing on giving her what she wants.
What does she want?
She wants to feel respect from the man that you are now.
You have changed since the breakup. You’ve become so much more of a complete man.
You’re not making the same communication and behavioral mistakes that you made in the relationship.
You’re different now.
She respects you and she can look up to you now.
She also wants to feel sexual attraction, so she can feel sparks of sexual attraction when she interacts with you.
She smiles, she laughs, sparks fly, she feels drawn to you and she finds herself thinking about you and imagining kissing you and having sex with you when you’re not around.
She also wants to feel love for you.
She wants to be able to reconnect with her original feelings of love for you.
She wants to start imagining you and her and your child or children being back together in a family unit.
She wants to imagine that going well.
The thing is, she will imagine it going well if she can sense and see and pick up on the changes in you.
If when she interacts with you, she feels attracted, she feels turned on, she feels sparks of love for you again, you don’t even need to tell her that you’ve changed – she will see it for herself.
When a woman is feeling respect, attraction and love again, she starts to imagine positive things happening.
She doesn’t focus on the negatives.
It’s sort of how things work when you first start dating a woman where you don’t really focus on each other’s flaws.
You’re feeling attracted, you’re feeling like you are falling in love and you just don’t care about any potential flaws.
You just want to kiss and have sex and hug and be around each other.
Of course, even though attraction makes a woman focus on the positives about a man, you still don’t want to be making the same old mistakes as before and making her pick up on flaws that you still haven’t fixed.
You want to be fixing those things, but if you are making her feel respect, attraction and love, then she’s not going to be focusing on those things as much as she used to.
She’s going to be focusing on your positives.
3. Don’t let her negative behavior change you
When guys are trying to get a woman back who they have children with, the woman will often start behaving in really nasty ways.
She’ll be very demanding, she’ll be selfish, she’ll be bitchy, she’ll get angry, she’ll be short tempered, she’ll say insulting things and she might even try to turn the children against him and so on.
There are many reasons why a woman will do that, but some of the reasons are that she wants to see what your breaking point is.
Sometimes, for example, a woman breaks up with a man and she doesn’t really have too much of a reason to break up with him.
She just doesn’t feel attracted to him anymore.
He’s a good guy and he’s trying and he really put a lot of effort into the relationship, but she just doesn’t feel much of a spark with him.
She just doesn’t feel it anymore so she breaks up with him, then she starts acting like a bit of a bitch in order to hopefully make him get angry and start insulting her or behaving in an aggressive way or doing something where she can say, “There! See? That’s why I broke up with you. I knew that you are like that. I don’t want you anywhere near the kids. I don’t want to see you anymore,” and so on.
What some guys do when they’re faced with that type of situation (i.e. their ex woman is being nasty, bitch or rude) is that they try to be even nicer to her.
They’ll try to suck up to her and be on their best behavior and tiptoe around her and try to say all the right things and be extra nice to her to avoid her getting angry or being negative.
You don’t want to do that.
You want your woman to respect you.
Women do not respect submissiveness from men.
They also do not respect being overly aggressive.
So, when I say you shouldn’t be submissive and just tiptoe around your woman when she is potentially going to get angry, I don’t mean that you should go to the opposite extreme and become aggressive and say, “Hey, stop talking to me like that! Treat me right. Why are you being such a bitch?” and so on.
You need to just remain calm, be positive, be easygoing and not let it affect you.
When you do that, she will tire of being bitchy and nasty towards you.
She will start to see that it’s just not worth it because you don’t bite.
You don’t get affected by it.
You always remain confident, you always remain positive and she just can’t break you down.
So, while you are doing that, as long as you are focused on making her feel sparks of sexual attraction for you and reconnect with her original feelings of love for you, then the idea of getting back with you is going to start to feel good to her.
She’s going to start feeling like you are someone that she can now respect again. You are someone that she can look up to now and admire.
She is imagining kissing you and being with you when you’re not around.
She’s feeling that love in heart again.
She wants to be with you.
As a result, she may stop being as bitchy and negative, but you have to understand that women ALWAYS test men.
It doesn’t matter if your relationship is good or bad, your woman is going to test you.
Women always test to see where a man’s breaking point is. When is he going to become insecure? When is he going to break down?
4. Use meet ups as opportunities to create sparks of attraction
Most guys who are trying to get an ex-woman back that they have children with, have an opportunity to meet up with her on a regular basis.
For example: When the man is taking care of the kids and then he brings the kids back to the woman.
In some of the cases that I’ve worked on, men have said to me, “Well, I take the kids away for the weekend and then I bring them over to her place and she opens the door, lets the kids in and then just closes the door in my face.”
So, what a man needs to do if he’s faced with that situation, is not let her continue to repeat that same process.
For example: If he brings the kids over and she opens the door, let’s them go in and then closes the door without even saying anything, he needs to make sure that the next time he drops the kids off, he’s ready.
The next time he drops the kids off, she opens the door and he smiles and says, “Hey, hey, hey. Before you close the door, I just want to say hi. How are you doing? How are you doing today?”
He has a chat with her and lets her see that he’s not being angry, he’s not appearing rejected, he’s not upset and he’s not affected by her negative behavior.
Instead, he’s confident and he is being loving, but he’s also being dominant. “Hey, before you close the door, how are you doing? How are you doing today?”
He might then talk about where he and the kids went, for example, if they went to a movie and add in some humor when he’s talking to her.
He wil get her to smile and laugh and feel relaxed and easygoing around him.
He will let her see that things are fine between them, things are cool, everything’s fine.
That’s what you need to do.
Let her see that you’re able to talk to each other, there’s no drama, there’s no tension and it doesn’t have to be awkward anymore.
5. Try to avoid texts as much as possible
Texts are often necessary, especially when you’re arranging to pick up the kids and drop off the kids.
If she’s in a new relationship, she probably doesn’t want to get on the phone and be talking to you when her guy is in the background.
She doesn’t want to create problems and so on. That’s fine. I totally understand that.
However, in all other cases, you should avoid texts like the plague.
Do not get into texting conversations with her where you’re just being friendly and talking to her in a supportive way and being that friendly, supportive, generous ex-guy.
Additionally, don’t try to discuss the relationship via text.
If you’re gonna talk about the relationship, talk about it in person, but keep it brief and add in humor.
When you’re talking about the relationship with her, don’t make it serious.
Just joke around, say some serious points in here and there, but make the conversation feel easygoing and like everything’s cool between you and her.
There’s no awkwardness; everything’s fine.
When I help men to women back who they have a child with, I often find that a guy has been really trying hard to get something going via text, to make her feel something via text.
What you need to understand about texts is that they can sometimes create a spark of respect and attraction and love, but for the most part, they don’t.
Texts are just words on a screen.
What really crates a spark of respect, attraction and love is where you interact with your woman in person.
She can really see that you have changed, that when she talks to you now she feels different.
The awkwardness, the turn-off feeling that she had just isn’t there anymore.
She feels respect for you, she feels attracted and she feels drawn to you who you are now.
That is what works.
Yet, with texts, it’s so easy to stuff up.
It’s so easy to come across as though you’re being needy, you’re being insecure, you’re trying too hard, you’re lonely without her and so on.
It’s so easy for her to misunderstand what you are texting her and if you’ve been texting your ex-woman, you will know that already, right?
You will know that it’s difficult to get her to understand what you really mean and sometimes she misunderstands what you’re saying and then an argument breaks out via text or she goes cold and stops replying.
That’s why I always say do not focus on text when you’re trying to get an ex back.
It’s so easy to stuff up.
Whereas, the total opposite is true in person.
It’s so easy to get things right in person if you have actually made changes.
If you have been improving your ability to make her feel attracted since the breakup, then when you interact with her, it’s so easy to get that right.
It’s so easy to be more confident than you were before.
It’s so easy to get her laughing and smiling when before you were just making her feel neutral or turned off.
6. Let her want the relationship more than you do
Of course, you want her back and that is fine.
You want to get that family unit back. You love her, you miss her, you want to be with her.
That’s totally fine, but you’ve also got to understand how women work.
Women want to be in a position where they are chasing a guy a bit.
I don’t mean going overboard with it and playing really hard to get and ignoring her text and acting like you don’t give a crap about her.
I’m not talking about that.
I’m talking about you make her feel attracted, but you don’t actually chase a relationship.
She’s feeling attracted to you and drawn to you, but you’re not trying to pressure her into having a serious committed relationship with you again.
She goes away from interactions with you feeling sparks of love and feeling attracted and missing you.
She starts imagining you and her and your child or children being back together in a family unit and then she realizes that you’re not chasing it.
You are not trying to pressure her into that.
She then starts to think, “Alright. Well, how can I find out if he wants to have a relationship with me rather than just this fun flirtatious thing that we’ve got going on at the moment?”
She then starts to show you more interest.
She starts flirting with you more, she might touch you more, she might hug you more, she might even give you a kiss.
She wants to see how you’re going to react.
While she’s doing that, it actually makes her fall more in love with you and want the relationship more.
She’s going through the process of wanting you back and getting you back.
So, it becomes about her getting you back.
I hope this video has helped you and if you need more help to get your woman back, I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System
It’s a 7-step system and when you follow the steps, you will get back into a relationship with your ex.
The same rules apply to a relationship that has no children or has one child or has three or five children.
The same rules apply.
You’ve got to make her feel attracted to you again and you’ve got to make her want the relationship.
When you do that, it becomes so easy to guide her back into a relationship with you.
She wants it, she’s feeling attracted to you, she’s feeling drawn to you and it’s just a matter of hooking up again and getting back together.
Remain Calm and Confidently Get Her Back
One final point that I want to make for you is that while you’re getting her back, you need to remain confident at all times.
She might not make you feel very confident about her feelings for you and she might act a little bit indifferent or even a bit bitchy.
Yet, to successfully re-attract her and get her back, you must make sure that you don’t let that affect you.
Don’t let her see you appearing rejected or sad or depressed or lost without her.
You’ve got to let her see that you are a confident man who believes in himself.
When you are able to do that and are making her feel attracted to you whenever you interact with her, you will be able to get her back.