Here are 5 of the most common reasons why a woman will break up with a guy for that reason:
1. She’s worried that she will become too old and won’t be able to have healthy children
Although a man can easily have children well into his old age (records show men having children well into their eighties and nineties), a woman’s fertility begins to decline from her thirties onwards.
According to a European study, a woman’s fertility begins to decline after the age of 27 and that number increases significantly after the age of 35.
Additionally, according to Stanford University, “The chance of having a child with down syndrome increases over time. The risk is about 1 in 1,250 for a woman who conceives at age 25. It increases to about 1 in 100 for a woman who conceives at age 40.”
So, if your ex felt as though her chances of having healthy babies was diminishing because you didn’t want to start a family with her (even if you said you might consider it in future), it would explain her decision to break up with you.
Of course, that doesn’t mean she no longer loves you, or sees you as the man she’d want to settle down with.
Instead, she is just trying to do what is going to be best for her and any offspring she has.
Another possible reason why she broke up with you because you didn’t want to start a family, is…
2. She was sick and tired of being placed in the background of your life
A woman will often feel that way when a man is way too focused on his career, friends or hobbies (e.g. playing video games), to the point where he expects his girlfriend to just put up with whatever crumbs of attention he gives her.
If she wants to start a family, he might might brushes her off by saying something like, “I’m not ready to have kids right now. I want to work on my career now and become successful, so I can actually afford to take care of a family. When that happens, I will then consider having children with you” or, “Stop pushing me to start a family. I don’t want to be burdened with that kind of responsibility. You should be happy just to be with me. I love you, we enjoy spending time together – isn’t that enough for you?” or, “We’re both still young. We should be enjoying our lives, traveling and having fun, not taking care of kids” or, “I love you and I want to be with you for life, but I don’t want kids.”
Although he means well and is just being honest, getting that kind of response from him be the final straw for her.
It can cause her to think something like, “I’m clearly wasting my time with him. He will likely always just think about himself and what he wants. As a result, he wouldn’t be a good father anyway. I will always come in second place and who knows how much attention he’d give to our children. I’ve put up with being brushed aside for long enough. I know that I deserve better. It’s time that I break up with him and find a man who give me what I want from a relationship and show me the love and attention I deserve.”
3. She’s just using that as an excuse to break up with you because she doesn’t want to reveal her real reasons
Although a woman might feel a lot of respect, attraction and love for a guy at the start of a relationship, over time, she may notice things about him cause her to fall out of love with him.
- He is too emotionally closed off. She wants to be able to connect with a man and feel in love, but he keeps her at too much of an emotional distance. She eventually realizes it’s because he is insecure and hasn’t healed from being hurt in the past. She then loses respect for him for being so emotionally weak and making her suffer as a result.
- He spends too much time doing things like drinking, taking drugs, playing video games or watching TV and not enough time doing productive things that allow them to level up in life as a couple.
- He has no purpose, goals or dreams and prefers to drift aimlessly through life living day-by-day. Alternatively, he has goals and dreams, but always makes up excuses as to why he can’t achieve them, or start working on them.
- He is irresponsible.
- He has a wandering eye.
- He is selfish and egotistical.
- He is unsupportive of her dreams, desires and interests.
- He lies.
- He is jealous and controlling.
- He gets angry at her and demands that she treat him well, without realizing that outbursts like those just make her lose more respect for him and make it harder for her to love him.
- He doesn’t truly feel worthy of her and as a result, has become increasingly insecure, needy, jealous or clingy over time.
- He doesn’t stick to his word.
- He disrespects her, or puts her down in front of others, rather than making her feel confident and proud to be his girlfriend by complimenting her and sticking up for her around others.
- Initially, a woman will often make excuses for her boyfriend’s behavior by telling herself, “Ah, it doesn’t matter. It’s not that bad. He’s a nice guy and will probably change/grow out of that behavior over time.”
Yet, over time, she will become less and less willing to put up with it.
Then, rather than revealing her real reasons for ending the relationship and risk having him talk her out of her decision (i.e. he promises to change the things she is breaking up with him over), she use an excuse that she knows he won’t want to change his mind about (i.e. starting a family now).
That way, she can get out of the relationship cleanly and make him feel as though it was all his fault because he didn’t want to have kids with her.
If he then promises to start a family with her if she will give him a chance, she can then say something like, “No, it’s too late now. I wanted that before, but now I don’t. You had your chance, but it’s too late. It’s over now. I’ve made my decision. Please respect it.”
4. Her family members or close friends have started families and she feels jealous and left behind
Some women place a lot of importance on fitting in or keeping up with the progress of family and friends, so she doesn’t get left behind, or feel like the odd one out.
When a woman like that gets together with her friends/family and they’re all talking about diapers, sleepless nights, baby food and daycare options and she has nothing to contribute, she will feel like a bit of loser and want to get started on building her own family.
In some cases, a woman might not even get invited out with her mommy friends (who she was very close with prior to them having children) because they either feel sorry for her, or because they no longer have anything in common with her.
So, when a woman like that is with a boyfriend who doesn’t want to take their relationship to the next level, she may begin to see him as standing in the way of her happiness.
If he continues to reject the idea of starting a family, she may just decide that it’s worth the risk of dumping him (even though she loves him) and trying to find a new man who will want what she wants.
5. She is sick and tired of having a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and wants to become a married woman with a family
Almost all women reach a point where they want to start a family, even if the woman had previously been totally against having children.
It’s just the way most women are.
Yet, in many cases, guys don’t feel the same way.
A guy is often happy to just have a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, have sex with her, travel, do fun things together, get a pet dog or cat, share rent or mortgage payments and enjoy life together.
To him, there’s no rush or no need to have a family.
Yet, if his girlfriend has gotten to the point in her life where she wants a family, it’s not something she will be able to ignore.
It’s a primal instinct that just doesn’t stop bugging her.
She feels it all the time.
If her boyfriend isn’t willing to take the relationship to the next level and start a family with her, she will feel compelled to find another man who will.
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