Here are 4 ways to make your ex want to start from the beginning again…
1. Show Her That You Can Now Make Her Feel Attracted in the Ways She Secretly Cares About
Quite often, when a guy gets broken up with, his first reaction is to rush off and make his ex a bunch of promises about changing certain things about himself that he assumes she wants him to change, but that secretly don’t really matter to her.
For example: A guy might say to his ex, “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to cause you pain. I know I wasn’t the boyfriend/fiancé/husband you deserved and I promise you that if you give me another chance, things will be different this time. I’m going to make sure that I give you all the love and attention you deserve. I’m going to treat you like the queen you are to me. Whatever it is that you want, I will do it for you. Please baby, just give me a chance to show you that I’m a changed man.”
Yet, if what caused his ex to break up with him was his insecure, needy, clingy behavior, then she’s not going to want him to become even more attentive towards her.
So, rather than make her think, “It looks like my ex is taking our break up seriously and he’s promising to change. I broke up with him because he was too clingy and needy, but seeing as he is going to be even more clingy and he’s prepared to smother me with his undivided attention, I think we should get back together again,” she will be thinking, “He doesn’t have a clue why we really broke up, so he’s offering me things that I don’t care about. He just doesn’t get it.”
In cases like that, she wants the man to relax and believe in his attractiveness to her no matter what she says or does.
She wants to see that he is confident and he confidently and calmly believes in himself without her supportive words, reassurance or encouragement.
If he can exude that type of confidence, she will naturally feel respect and attraction for him again and start to believe that he really has changed and is no longer the insecure, needy guy he was.
So, make sure that you’re not trying to get your ex back by offering her things that she secretly doesn’t care about or feels turned off by.
If you try to get her back without changing the things that she really wants, she will just keep saying things like, “No. I don’t want to start from the beginning again. Just accept that it’s over between us. Please leave me alone. It’s over.”
Remember: Everyone makes relationship mistakes sometimes, not just you.
What you’ve been through is perfectly normal and pretty much everyone goes through it at some point in their life (or many times if they don’t learn and improve).
The mistakes you made with her don’t mean that you’re a bad, unlovable, problematic guy.
It simply means there were certain things about your behavior, attitude and thinking that caused your ex to feel like she wasn’t getting the attraction experience she really wanted from you, so she ended the relationship.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he was too emotionally dependent on her and made her his reason for living, to get her back, he can’t offer to be even more attentive towards her.
Instead, he needs to show her that he’s now emotionally independent and even though he wants her back, he doesn’t need her back to feel happy and fulfilled in his life.
He has gotten clear on his big goals and ambitions in life and has started to make progress.
When she can see for herself that he’s no longer the same guy she broke up with and has become a more balanced man, she will begin to feel respect and attraction for him again and then the idea of starting from the beginning again will actually sound good to her.
Another example is if a woman broke up with a guy because he wasn’t emotionally open enough for her.
She felt like he was always closed off to her and that she couldn’t connect with him at a deep level.
Naturally, if he wants to get her back, he cannot promise to take her on an expensive holiday, or buy her expensive gifts because that’s not what she cares about.
Instead he needs to show her that he is now a masculine man who can tell a woman that he loves her in a fearless way, without becoming needy and talking about his feelings all the time like a woman.
That last point is very important.
If a woman breaks up with you because you didn’t open up emotionally, make sure that you don’t go overboard and start talking about your feelings 24/7.
Just remain being the cool, confident guy that you are and also add in some emotional openness.
Women hate it when a man turns into a woman and starts talking about his feelings all the time, being emotionally sensitive and losing track of his manhood in a desperate attempt to save his relationship with her.
A woman wants you to relax, remain confident in your attractiveness to her and just be fearless in your expression of love and emotion, while not acting like a woman or a desperate guy.
So, if you want to make your ex want to start from the beginning again, focus on changing the way you interact and communicate with her from now on in ways that she truly cares about.
When you start giving her the attraction experience that she wanted from you all along, a woman naturally begins to feel more respect and attraction for you and her guard comes down.
She then begins to ask herself, “Maybe it is possible to start from the beginning again. Maybe we can make this work after all.”
2. Don’t Ask For a Relationship Right Away
If you’re interacting with your ex (e.g. via text, e-mail, on social media, on the phone, or even in person), it might be very tempting for you to want to push her into agreeing to give your relationship another chance, especially if she’s saying things like, “I miss you.”
However, although you might be tempted to say something like, “I miss you too. Let’s go on a date and see what happens,” or, “I love you more than anything. What can I do to change your mind and give us one more chance? Please baby. Just give me another chance.”
Yet, if you push her to get back into a relationship with you before she’s ready, she may close herself off from you and pull away.
Here’s the thing…
If a woman doesn’t feel ready to commit to the idea of being in a relationship again, suggesting that you and her get together for a “date,” rather than a “meet up” or “catch up” or “coffee to say hi” will likely just scare her away.
She may begin thinking, “He’s asking me out on a date, so he will be trying to pressure me into getting back together again. I’m not ready for that. I don’t know how I feel right now. I’m scared.”
Don’t put that kind of pressure on her.
Instead, just agree to catch up and say hi and then see how you both feel for one more week.
If she decides that she doesn’t want to continue, tell her that you will accept that, but to give the catch up a go and then see how things go for one more week.
For example: You might say to her, “Let’s meet up for some coffee and have a chat as friends It doesn’t mean that we’re going to get back together again. We will just catch up and say hi and then see how we feel for one more week. After a week, if you say that you don’t want to ever see me again, I promise I will leave you alone.”
If she can sense that you are sincere, a woman will usually then say something like, “Oh, okay. I suppose we can do that” or “As long as you don’t pressure me to get back together again.”
Then, make plans to meet up with her right away at a time that suits you both.
At the meet up, don’t get all serious on her and start saying things like, “I really miss you. I can’t forget what we had together. Let’s start from the beginning again. You and I belong together,” because if you haven’t yet fully reactivated her feelings of respect and attraction, you may scare her off.
Remember: If you don’t reactivate you’re ex’s feelings of respect and attraction for you first and you push her to get back together, she may say something like, “I may not be fully over you, but that doesn’t mean I want to be in a relationship right now. You let me down and I don’t know if I can forgive you for that yet.”
So, make sure that when you meet up with her, rather than try to convince your ex to want to start from the beginning again, you focus instead on re-sparking her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you again.
When you do that, getting her back and keeping her in a relationship will be very easy for you.
3. Don’t Behave Like a Platonic Friend
Taking things slow with your ex is one thing, but where some guys go wrong is by falling into the “Friend Zone” with their ex.
For example: A guy might say to himself, “If I’m going to make my ex want to start from the beginning again, I will need to be on my best behavior and not do anything that might scare her off. As long as I’m nice to her, she will see that I’m a good guy and will then want to get back together.”
He may then use every interaction he has with her as a way of showing her what a nice, helpful, reliable friend he really is.
What he doesn’t realize is that being a nice friend to a woman is not going to make her think, “What was I thinking when I decided to break up with my ex?! He’s such a sweet, dependable guy. I must have been crazy to let him go! Fortunately, I’ve finally come to my senses. We can now start from the beginning again and this time I’m never going to let him go.”
It would be nice if women thought that way about men, but they don’t.
Although a woman might appreciate the fact that her ex is being a nice, sweet friend to her, if he’s not actively making her feel respect and sexual attraction for him, she’s not going to feel motivated to want to get back with him.
Instead, she might just enjoy having a reliable handyman/shoulder to cry on/emergency partner for a party, while continuing on kissing, having sex and falling in love with other guys.
When that happens, her ex might ask, “Why did you sleep with another guy? I thought we were on the right track. I did everything I could.”
Yet, he didn’t.
What he failed to do was focus on making her feel sexual attraction for him again.
He focused on being a Mr. Nice Guy, a helpful ex, a friend to call, rather than actively making her have sexual and romantic feelings for him.
After all, that’s the essential difference between a relationship and a friendship between a man and a woman.
If you want your ex back for real, don’t act like a platonic, non sexual friend.
Watch this for more info…
By all means, take things slow with your ex if you need to.
Be her friend, but just make sure that you’re not a platonic, non sexual friend who just wants to be nice to her and support her.
You need to actively make her feel respect and sexual attraction for you again by using every interaction you have with her to make her smile, laugh and feel excited to be around you.
That’s what works to get a woman back.
So, don’t pretend that you don’t find her sexually attractive anymore and don’t avoid making her feel sexually attracted to you.
Show her (via the way you think, act, behave and interact with her) that you’re a confident, emotionally masculine man who has the ability to reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
4. Get Her Back
As the man, it’s up to you to be emotionally strong enough to handle the ex back process and guide her back into a relationship.
You can’t rely on the woman to be the strong one and make everything happen for you and her.
If you wait around for her to take the lead, a woman will eventually think, “Obviously my ex is not going to make a move, so I guess I need to focus on fully getting over him and moving on. It’s clear that we’re only going to be friends from now on. There’s no spark anymore and he’s not trying to make it happen, so it’s over.”
When a guy doesn’t get another chance with his ex woman, it’s usually because he’s been waiting for her to take the lead and tell him that it’s okay for him to get her back again.
Yet, here’s the thing…
To get your ex back, you need to be a man about it.
You have to take control of the ex back process, rather than expecting her to be the strong one who gets you and her back together.