Yes, you can do whatever you want.
There are no rules, just expectations on how people should behave.
However, that said, hanging out with your ex’s family can end up pushing her further away depending on how you approach it.
Here’s what you need to know:
1. If you have a great relationship with some of them and you and her ended on a good note, then it’s fine continue being a great friend to her family
However, at the end of the day, their loyalty will be to her, not you.
People almost always feel the need to be loyal to a family member, rather than an ex boyfriend or girlfriend that a family member was once with.
So, her family may like you as a person and cherish your friendship, but they will almost always choose her over you.
It’s just the way it goes.
That said, if you have a good relationship with her family, then it is one of the ways to stay on her mind in a positive way and make her want you back.
The reason why is that if she shows interest in getting back with you to her family, they are much more likely to show support if they feel good about you, versus if you disappear and suddenly don’t want anything to do with them.
If you happen to bump into your ex while hanging out with her family, make sure to not pretend as though you’re no longer interested in her.
That will confuse and annoy her, while also confusing her family members.
In other words, everyone will be wondering, “Why the heck is he sticking around if he’s not interested in her?” and it will begin to feel a little weird.
So, be sure to show interest in her via flirting, occasional compliments and by the way you come across, while also letting her feel as though you’re not trying to push her into anything.
As a result, her family will pick up on the fact that there’s still a spark between you and her and will encourage her to follow through on it and give you another chance.
You can the guide her back into a relationship with you and enjoy the new love you have with her, as well as the friendship you still have with her family.
Another tip to help you hang out with your ex’s family is…
2. If your aim is to stick around and hopefully get them to put a good word in for you, just understand that she isn’t going to care if you don’t re-attract her first
The truth is, no matter how great of a guy you are and how much your ex’s family likes you, their opinion of you doesn’t really matter, because they’re not the ones dating you.
So, even if you hang out with them and they say things like, “I can’t believe you and my daughter/sister broke up. She’s crazy to let a guy like you go. I’m going to talk to her and see if I can convince her to reconsider,” it doesn’t really matter.
What matters is how your ex feels and if she doesn’t feel enough respect, attraction and love for you to make her want you in her life, then nothing anyone else says (even her family) is unlikely to change that.
The bottom line is this: There is only one person who can change her mind and make her want you back and that person is you.
If you use interactions with her to reactivate her feelings for you, then the idea of giving you another chance will be something she wants to do.
So, focus on that.
By the way…
Some of the things that will reawaken your ex’s sexual and romantic feelings for you are…
- Using humor to make her smile and laugh and feel good every time you interact with her, rather than trying to convince her to give you another chance by telling her how much her family likes you and how they think you should be together.
- Maintaining your confidence around her regardless of what she says or does to make you feel insecure or unsure of yourself (e.g. she says that her feelings for you are dead, she acts like she’s angry that you’re hanging out with her family).
- Flirting with her to create sexual tension, rather than treating her like she’s now just a platonic friend that you’re not interested in in a romantic or sexual way.
- Showing her via your attitude, conversation, actions and behavior that you’ve leveled up as a man (e.g. you’re more confident and emotionally strong, more ballsy, more of a challenge).
- Showing her that even though you do still care for her and want her back, you’re not sitting around feeling depressed or hopeless without her. Instead, you’re happy and are getting on with your life (e.g. pursuing your goals and dreams, doing the things you wanted to do but never got around to when you were with her, partying and having fun with friends).
The better you are at making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, the more open she will be if her family then encourages her to give you another chance.
On the other hand, if you don’t reactivate her feelings for you first and her family puts in a good word for you, she may get annoyed with them interfering in her life.
That can then cause strife in her family (something you probably don’t want) and she may even go out of her way to hook up with and get into a relationship with another man just to spite them and you.
Another tip to help you hang out with your ex’s family is…
3. Avoid discussing the relationship problems you had with her
As tempting as it may be to want to talk about the relationship with your ex’s family and possibly even ask them for advice or for help in discovering what really went wrong, it’s not a good idea.
Once again, doing that just puts them in an awkward position where they have to be between you and their daughter/sister.
This is especially true if your ex has confided in them and they know about certain things that turned her off that you may not be aware of.
They then feel stuck and awkward, because you’re discussing the problems you had with her, but they can’t advise you on what to do without breaking her trust.
Additionally, if you say anything negative about your ex or the relationship and it gets back to her, she can use that to convince her family to stop spending time with you.
So, the right thing to do is to just not put them in that kind of uncomfortable situation.
Instead, just talk about your ex in a positive way whenever she gets mentioned in conversation and then, change the subject to get her family members to talk about themselves or other topics.
Not only will her family be grateful to you for making it easy for them to continue being your friend, they will likely also tell your ex that you’re not badmouthing her.
She will then feel more comfortable with the idea that you’re hanging out with her family, even though the two of you are not a couple anymore.
She will also feel respect for you for being a good man about the break up.
Of course, when she respects you, she will also feel some attraction for you.
As a result, her guard comes down and she becomes more open to talking to you on the phone or seeing you in person.
You can then build on her feelings for you and get her back.
The next tip to help you hang out with your ex’s family is…
4. Be clear on your motives, because it will come through in your body language, behavior and vibe
If you’re not really interested in hanging out with your ex’s family and it’s all a ruse to be around her more so that you can hopefully convince her to give you another chance, it will eventually get noticed.
For example: A guy whose motives are more about getting his ex back, than about genuinely being friends with her family might…
- Spend most of his time talking about her and not showing any interest in anything else her family has to say during conversation.
- Only ever hang out with her family if he knows for sure that she will be around too.
- Say things to her family that he hopes she will overhear and be impressed by.
Not only will this make them feel used by you, when your ex finds out, she will lose respect for you for using her family to get to her.
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