Here’s what you need to do to get your ex back if she won’t answer your calls:
1. Get her to agree to one phone call
Call her one more time at a time that you think she will answer.
If she doesn’t answer, send her this text message, “Hey [insert your girlfriend’s name here], there’s something quick I want to ask you over the phone. If you don’t ever want to talk to me again after we talk on the phone, I will accept it and leave you alone. If I don’t hear back from you by tomorrow, I’ll try calling you the next day.”
If she texts back and says something along the lines of, “I’m available now,” just go ahead and call her.
If she texts back and asks, “What do you want to ask me? Just text me the question,” you can reply and say, “This is better said over the phone.”
If she doesn’t text anything back, just call her the next day.
If she doesn’t answer when you call, don’t text her again right away.
Instead, just wait for the next day and call.
Then, if she still doesn’t answer, text her this, “Hey [insert your girlfriend’s name here], I know that you don’t want to be with me anymore and I accept that, but I just want to ask you something quick over the phone.”
By this stage, her curiosity will most-likely have gotten the better of her and she will either reply to say that you can call her now, or she will answer your next call.
That’s how you get on another phone call with a stubborn ex girlfriend who won’t answer your calls anymore.
By the way…
Only use the text message as a way to make her drop her guard so she will agree to talk to you on the phone.
Don’t make the mistake of hiding behind texts and thinking that you’re making progress that way.
Texts are the worst way to try to get a closed off ex girlfriend back.
She will feel annoyed and turned off by the texts and will almost certainly get to the point where she stops replying or decides to block your number.
So, only use texts to get her on a phone call.
When on a phone call, you can properly re-attract her and get her to feel good talking to you again.
You can then get her to meet up with you in person.
Not all guys know this though, so they end up ruining their chances to get their ex girlfriend back.
For example: A guy might feel nervous about talking to his girlfriend on the phone because he worries that she will just reject him again and might feel so annoyed with him that she demands that he never contact her again.
So, rather than being a man about it and getting her back by using attraction, he hides behind text messages and hopes that she slowly changes her mind.
He may think to himself, “If she hasn’t been answering my calls, it’s probably better not to talk to her on the phone right away. I’ll just stick to texts to explain my feelings to her and show her how sincere I am. Then over time, when she realizes how badly she hurt me by breaking up with me via text, she’ll start to feel sorry for what she’s done. Then, she’ll be the one calling me and I’ll get her back.”
If her texts start to become cold, distant or show that she just doesn’t care about him and the relationship anymore, he might feel upset that about that.
Not knowing what else to do, he might try to seek pity by texting her things like, “Did what we had together mean anything to you at all? I mean, how could you just break up with me via text and then not even have the decency to answer my calls anymore? It’s like our relationship never happened. All the great times we had just flushed down the toilet. How can you be so cold hearted like that? I love you more than anything. I guess you didn’t feel the same way. Regardless of how you feel about me, I just want you to know that I still care for you and I want to make things right between us.”
He’s hoping that she will feel guilty for being so selfish and self-centered and then give him another chance.
While that might work on some women (e.g. very young women, women who are inexperienced with relationships, women who are still in love with their ex), it just doesn’t work in most ex back situations.
Most ex back situations (where guys actually need help to get their woman back) are when the woman no longer has feelings for him and doesn’t want to be with him anymore.
She is capable of dealing with the break up, finding a replacement guy and moving on from her ex.
Guys who are in a situation where their ex woman still loves them and wants to be with them, don’t arrive here looking for help.
Those guys just need to call her, say hi and suggest a meet up and they’ll get her back.
However, in almost all ex back cases (your case probably fits into this category), the woman is over it and isn’t interested in getting back together with her ex.
So, with the example earlier where the guy was texting his ex things like, “Did what we had together mean anything to you at all? I mean, how could you just break up with me via text and then not even have the decency to answer my calls anymore? It’s like our relationship never happened. All the great times we had just flushed down the toilet. How can you be so cold hearted like that? I love you more than anything. I guess you didn’t feel the same way. Regardless of how you feel about me, I just want you to know that I still care for you and I want to make things right between us” she’s just not going to care or be interested.
She will think something like, “If he thinks that whining, complaining and trying to make me feel bad is going to change my mind about him, he has another thing coming. If anything, his current behavior is only making me feel more certain about my decision to cut off all communication with him. He’s just talking about his feelings for me and what he wants. He doesn’t even know what will make me feel attracted to him again. He just wants me to feel guilty for dumping him via text. Well, I don’t feel guilty. I felt turned off by him near the end of the relationship and I still feel that way. Unless he can change how I feel, I’m moving on.”
So, don’t waste time using text message to try and make your ex want to give the relationship another chance.
You should only text her to get her to agree to talk to you over the phone, if she doesn’t answer your calls.
Remember: Call first, text second.
Texts should not be your number one approach with her.
I know that you probably think that she prefers texts, but who cares what she prefers?
You’ve got to do what works.
…and texts don’t work on a girl like her.
You have to have the balls to call.
Once you get her on a phone call with you, the next most important thing that you need to do is…
2. Get her smiling, laughing and feeling happy to be talking to you again
Rather than being too serious and getting into long discussions with her about how you messed up and how sorry you are, I recommend that you use humor to break the ice and make her feel a bit more relaxed.
For example: When she answers the phone, laugh and say, “Finally, I get through to you. Getting hold of you is harder than getting hold of the president!”
Then, joke around with her a little bit and make her feel good.
Of course, sometimes a woman will make it difficult for her ex to interact with her by being cold and distant towards him.
For example: She might answer the phone and say something like, “What do you want?” or, “Don’t try to suck up to me. Just say what you want to say and then leave me alone. I’m not interested in making chit-chat with you.”
Naturally, this might make a guy might feel upset and even a little bit dejected and he may think to himself, “It’s hopeless! She’s just not interested in me anymore. I can’t do this!”
Yet, here’s the thing…
Taking a woman’s coldness too seriously is actually counter-productive.
It makes you feel insecure, which then makes you appear unattractive to her.
Always remember: Women are attracted to confidence, not insecurity or self-doubt.
This means that you should have the confidence not to take her drama so seriously and always remain in control of your emotions.
Don’t let her little outbursts throw you off because if you do, she will feel turned off by your self-doubt and inability to be the man and lead the dynamic.
So, if your girlfriend is initially being cold, distant and even a little bitchy towards you when you get her on the phone, don’t let it bother you.
Instead, turn her coldness into something to laugh and smile about together.
When you make a woman laugh and smile, you are helping her to forget the pain, anger and resentment that she felt towards you.
Even if she tries to fight it, she won’t be able to stop herself from relaxing and opening herself up to interacting with you again.
If you can build on those good feelings while talking to her, she will stop wanting to hang up the phone as quickly as possible and even look for reasons to keep you on the line longer.
Then, you need to…
3. Ask her to meet up with you as friends to say hello
You can’t truly get an ex back unless you meet up with her in person, so make sure that you don’t avoid the meet up.
You’ve got to get to the meet up and be prepared to fully re-attract her, so she naturally wants to get back with you.
Don’t go to a meet up with the same knowledge about attraction that you had when in the relationship.
That won’t work.
You’ve got to level up.
You’ve got to be able to attract her in ways that you weren’t able to in the past.
So, make sure that you arrange a meet up when talking to her on the phone.
For example: After a bit of light-hearted conversation where you’re making her laugh and smile, you can say, “Anyway, so it has been fun talking you again” and let her say something, (e.g. “Yeah, you too”).
Then say, “I know that we’re never going to get back together. That’s fine and I accept that. However, I think it would be fun to catch up for a quick coffee as friends to say hi sometime this week. What do you think?”
If she says something along the lines of, “No, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” or “I’m not ready to see you again,” don’t make the mistake of giving up and then cutting off contact for weeks in the hope that she changes her mind.
So many guys make that mistake…
Here’s the thing…
If a woman broke up with a guy via text and has been refusing to answer his calls, she probably isn’t going to care if he stops contacting her after she says no to meeting up.
Rather than worrying that he’s not contacting her anymore, she may think something like, “He went to all that effort to get me on a phone call with him and then just went quiet when I said no to meeting up. What a wimp. I guess I was right about breaking up with him after all. I almost believed that he’d changed when he made me laugh over the phone that day, but now I see that he’s still the same guy I broke up with. I’m glad he’s not calling me anymore…it gives me more time to move on and find another guy who isn’t going to be so immature. Maybe I should even block him number to teach him a lesson if he eventually decides to call me. Hopefully that will get him to realize that he should have gotten me back sooner, rather than giving up after my initial no.”
Don’t let that happen to you.
If you want to get her back, you’re going to need to be confident in yourself and not lose hope when she initially says no.
After all, a woman will almost always initially say no to her ex as a way of testing his confidence and sincerity about wanting her back.
She wants to see if he has the confidence to continue believing in himself and getting her to feel attracted to him again, rather than being an insecure, emotionally weak guy who needs her to make the ex back process easier for him.
She also wants to see if his efforts to get her back are sincere (i.e. because he really loves her, really will be different this time around), or if he was just doing it because wanted sex a few more times before breaking up with her.
So, if your girlfriend is initially reluctant to meet up with you, don’t give up right away.
Instead, say (in a confident, easy-going tone of voice) something like, “Hey, it’s just a quick catch up to say hello as friends. It doesn’t mean that we’re going to get back together just because we’re drinking coffee. That would only happen if we were drinking beer. Seriously though, it’s no big deal and if you want to say goodbye at the meet up, I promise to never contact you again after that. You have my word on that. If you don’t want to ever speak to me again after we have this coffee, I will never, ever contact you again.”
In most cases, a woman will agree and say something like, “Okay, maybe just a quick coffee, but that’s it,” or, if she’s more easy going and has a good sense of humor, she might say, “Fine, but you can forget about that beer! It’s coffee only” and have a laugh with you about it.
Then, just go ahead and make plans to meet her at a suitable time for both of you.
At the meet up…
4. Make her feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you
Getting your ex to agree to see you in person is a major step to getting her back.
However, it’s not the end of the road.
You still have to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new and improved you in person.
You’ve got to let her experience the changes in you and feel attracted to that.
So, don’t think that simply getting to a coffee with her means that you’re definitely going to get her back.
You have to make her feel those special feelings that bring a man and a woman together in a romantic way.
For example: Some guys go to all the trouble of getting their ex woman to meet up with them, only to then turn her off by being nervous, insecure and being on their best behavior.
The woman then thinks to herself, “Well, this was a big waste of my time! I can see now that he’s still the same guy as before, so my instincts to break up with him were right. I need to finish my coffee as quickly as possible and get the heck out of here. Then, if he ever contacts me again, I will block his number. Its’ over!”
Remember: The only thing that matters to her right now is her feelings.
You have to make her have feelings for you.
It’s obvious that you have feelings for her and want her back, but that isn’t her problem.
She is focused on herself now.
If she is going to want to give you another chance, you have to make her feel sexual and romantic attraction for you again.
For example: If she comes to the meet up and is acting cold and distant towards you and possibly saying something like, “I don’t know what I’m doing here. I think this was a big mistake,” rather than letting that make you feel nervous and insecure around her, just use it as an opportunity to show her your new and improved confidence and emotional strength.
You can jokingly say something like, “Yes, it was a big mistake. What a horrible situation we are in. We’re having coffee. This is such a disaster” and then laugh, to show her that you’re not going to be dragged into her fake drama.
Likewise, if she says, “Why are we even meeting up like this? We’re broken up?” you can jokingly say, “Because I needed someone to buy coffee for me. Thanks” and then have a laugh.
That doesn’t mean you now need to make her pay for the coffee.
It’s just a joke.
Essentially, you need to make sure that you don’t take her tests of your confidence so seriously.
You’ve got to understand what women say things that they don’t even mean, just to test a guy’s confidence and see how he will react.
If a guy is able to remain confident and be a good man by leading the conversation towards love and laughter, a woman simply cannot stop herself from feeling attracted to him again.
Finally, at the end of the meet up make sure that you…
5. Get a warm, goodbye hug and if possible, get a kiss and transition to sex that day or night
If you’ve been re-attracting her during the meet up, getting her to give you a goodbye hug won’t be difficult at all.
She will be feeling attracted and open, so it will feel totally natural to hug you and say goodbye.
Simply say to her, “Hey, I’m glad we had this catch up. I’m impressed at how cool we’ve become as ex’s after everything that happened between us. We’re not enemy ex’s who hate each other anything like that. We’ve been mature about it and are now just friends. So, let’s head off now. Come here, bring it in for a hug goodbye.”
Adding in the part about just being friends will make her feel like she is losing the romantic, sexual relationship with you that she is now feeling open to again.
Women love when guys offer a bit of a challenge when she is feeling attracted and interested.
Of course, don’t go too far and start acting really hard to get.
It’s just about adding in subtle things that make her think, “Oh no…I don’t want to just be friends. I want him to kiss me. I want him back!”
So, don’t go too far with playing hard to get or being a challenge.
Just keep it subtle and light.
Anyway, about the hug…
If she seems a bit reluctant to hug you, don’t worry.
Sometimes a woman will do that just to test a guy’s confidence and sometimes she will do it because she doesn’t want to look too keen.
So, remain confident and keep moving into the hug.
Make it a warm hug and if she seems open, lean in and give her a kiss.
If she doesn’t pull away, deepen the kiss and then take the initiative and head back to your place or hers and lead up to sex.