The best message to send to your ex is one that gets her on a phone call with you.

You can’t get an ex back entirely via text (most women won’t agree to meet up with an ex just via text), so you need to go through the following steps to get her on an actual phone call.

1. First try to call her.

2. If she answers, re-attract her on the phone call, arrange a time to meet up in person and get her to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you in person.

3. If she doesn’t answer, send her this text message (e.g. if her name is Belinda), “Hey Belinda – was just trying to get in touch because I have something quick that I wanted to ask you on the phone. I guess you’re busy at the moment. I might try to call another time.”

She will then either reply with something like, “Sorry I missed your call – I was busy. You can call me back now” or “What did you want to ask me?”

Whatever her response is (it will differ depending on how much your ex is trying to avoid you), just call her.

If she didn’t reply to your attempt to call and the follow up text, just try to call her in a couple of days.

BTW: If you’re worried about calling her and just want to text first, here are some examples of how to flirt with her via text…

Why You Must Get Her on a Phone Call at Some Point

Text messaging an ex

If you want to get your ex back, you shouldn’t just stick to text.


  • A text message can easily be ignored or misinterpreted.
  • She can lose interest in texting if it seems too difficult, or there isn’t enough of a spark between you and her.
  • She can assume that you don’t have the confidence to call her after she dumped you, which then makes her feel even more turned off.
  • She can’t see how confident you are feeling when you text. She can only assume and if she currently thinks of you in a negative way (e.g. thinks you’re insecure, needy or desperate when it comes to her), then she’ll likely assume that when she reads your texts.

You should aim to get her on the phone and get her back before she loses interest and moves on.

At the very least, you should transition from typed texts to voice texts, so she can hear your confidence and actually get the jokes you’re trying to say, by listening to how you express the words.

The Text Back Fantasy

Some guys make the mistake of believing that all they have to do is send an ex the right text message and she’ll automatically think, “OMG! I can’t believe I broke up with him! I want him back!”

I’d love to tell you that there’s a perfect message to send to your ex, which will make her come running back to you, but I would be lying to you.

So, I’m just going to deliver you the real truth.

That is, sending your ex a message is not the answer to getting her back.

You’ve got to make her feel respect and attraction for you on a phone call and in person, to actually get her back for real.

Non-verbal communication examples

According to many studies, body language and the tone of a person’s voice makes up almost 90% of communication when talking in person.

Why is this important? When you send a message to your ex, she cannot see your body language and she cannot hear the tone of your voice, so everything boils down to how she interprets your message.

If a woman is annoyed with her ex-boyfriend and perceives him to be a needy guy who doesn’t understand how to be the man she needs him to be, how do you think she’ll react to his message?

She is most-likely going to look at anything that he sends to her in a negative light, which is why he needs to focus on getting her on a phone call so she can experience his confidence, charisma and charm by listening to the tone of his voice and how he is saying what he is saying.

As the old saying goes, “It’s now what you say, but how you say it that counts.”

Sending her cute or romantic messages or messages that are intended to make her jealous or remember the good old days, is not going to work. If she currently doesn’t feel much respect or attraction for you, she is most likely going to read the messages through the filter of her current negative perception of you.

Where Guys Go Wrong

Okay, so let’s assume that a guy wants to send a message to his ex girlfriend (fiancé or wife) to tell her how sorry he is and that he wants her back.

Sometimes, a guy will make the mistake of texting something like, “I’ve been missing you so much. I’m sorry for how I treated you. Can you please consider giving me another chance? I can’t live without you.”

Apart from saying, “I can’t live without you” there is nothing really bad about the message he sent, but it’s still not going to work.

Why? A message like that isn’t going to make her feel a lot of respect and attraction. She might get the message when she is feeling happy without her boyfriend and when she reads it, she will feel as though she doesn’t need him to feel happy.

However, if he had said that to her on the phone while also getting her laughing and enjoying the call with him (this makes her feel attracted and at ease), she would associate some of her feelings of happiness in that moment with him.

She would then be much more likely to say, “Yes” if he asked to meet up with her in person.

Yet, if he hides behinds messages and tries to get her back with text on a screen, she might have one of the following reactions to the message:

1. She looks at the message, rolls her eyes and thinks, “Hhhh…not my ex again! I wish he’d get the message that it’s over and leave me alone. Does he think he can get me back with a message? Yeah right…I’m ignoring this and getting on with my day.”

2. She reads the message and she thinks something like, “How pathetic. I’m glad you miss me you jerk, because you didn’t appreciate me when you had me. Now you think I’m going to come back and experience the same old crap with you just because you said you’re sorry? No way.”

She then phones her best friend and tells her all about how insecure, needy and desperate he is being because he’s resorted to sending her pathetic messages begging her to take him back. They laugh and make fun of him.

She loses even more respect for him as a man and she feels comfortable moving on with her life without him being in it.

Why has this happened?

Firstly, the above message might seem like he is showing her how much she means to him, how sorry he is and how desperately he wants to make it up to her, but without seeing his body language and hearing the tone of his voice, all she is seeing is a guy who is trying to make her feel guilty about how bad he’s feeling without her and hoping that she takes pity on him.

This doesn’t work because not only don’t women like being manipulated, a deeper reason is that a sexual, romantic relationship between a man and a woman cannot be based on pity.

Yes, some women may feel pity and get with a guy for a while because they are kindhearted, but it never lasts and when she realizes that he’s still the same guy she dumped before, she will simply dump him again.

Secondly, telling her that he can’t live without her is usually a great reason for her to want to move on. Women don’t want to feel like they are a man’s reason for living. Women want to be with a guy who is rising through the levels of life and reaching for his true potential, not hiding from his potential behind her and the safety of their relationship.

Thirdly, sending his ex a message before he has dealt with the reasons for the breakup and before he’s fixed his issues is as good as saying to her, “Nothing’s really changed, but I still want you back.”

Can you see why that isn’t going to be appealing to her? Before you message your ex, you have to show her that you’re serious about getting her back by changing, improving or fixing the things that caused her to break up with you in the first place.

Then, when you contact her, she will be able to see that you’ve made the effort, and she will feel understood and will be happy to interact with you again.

There’s Only One Message You Should Ever Send to Your Ex

Even if you do manage to send your ex the best message ever written in the history of smartphones, chances are high that she will misinterpret it or not respond to it in the way you were hoping.

Without her being able to see your body language and hear the tone of your voice, she will simply assume that you’re only sending her a message because you’re needy and desperate without her, which will turn her off even more.

The ONLY message that you should send to your ex is one where you get her on a PHONE CALL, so you can get her to feel respect and attraction for you on the call and then arrange a meet up.

Sending your ex any other type of message will usually cause her to pull even further away from you. She will play games with you via text, ignore important messages that you send her and misinterpret what you’re trying to get her to understand and feel.

So, make sure that you only send a message to your ex to get her on the phone. When your ex talks to you and she hears in your voice how confident and emotionally secure you now are without her, she will usually be intrigued enough to want to see you in person.

If she’s not, you need to amp up her feelings of attraction by getting her laughing and enjoying talking to you on the phone. She will then become more open to meeting with you in person because she won’t be worried about feeling awkward around you.

Meeting up with her in person has to be your number one goal right now. At the meet up, she will be able to see that you are now a much better man than you were when you and her were together.

She will also feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you and begin to open herself up to the possibility of being in a relationship with you again.

So, don’t waste any more time trying to find messages to send to your ex. Send the message I provided at the start of this article and then reattract her on the phone, before getting her to agree to meet up with you in person.

If you’re not sure what to say on the phone when you talk to her, don’t worry, I will give examples of all that in my program Get Your Ex Back Super System.

Imagine this…

You call her up tomorrow, get her laughing and enjoying talking to you, get her respect back and get her to agree to meet up with you in person.

At the meet up, you make her feel respect and attraction for you in new and exciting ways. She enjoys how she is feeling and opens up to getting back with you.

Hours, days or weeks later, she is in your arms and saying that she loves again.

Do you want to make that happen with her?

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