If the relationship has broken up and your girlfriend says that she misses you, it either means:
1. She really does miss you and is hoping that you have the confidence to get her to meet up with you in person.
At the meet up, she is then hoping that you make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you and the relationship naturally rekindles and begins again.
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2. She misses you because she hasn’t yet been able to properly move on, but she still wants to move on.
If that’s the case, then she’s just saying that she misses you to put it out there, but she doesn’t really want to get back together. For example: She might have just said it because you were texting her or messaging her and she had nothing much else to say.
3. She doesn’t miss you and is just saying that to get your hopes up.
When she sees that you’re still desperately missing her and hoping to get back with her, she will use that to make herself feel better and continue moving on without you.
She might even add in things like, “I’m confused…I miss you, but I’m not sure if we should be together” to hopefully get you to reply and try to convince her to give the relationship another shot.
When she finds out that you’re not trying to meet other girls and are just waiting around for her, it may help her relax in knowing that she will be able to find a replacement before you do.
4. She doesn’t miss you much at all, but was just saying that to be nice.
She might still care about you and your feelings, so to make you feel better and lift your spirits, she said that she missed you. She still intends to move on without you, but she wanted to do something nice for you by saying that she missed you. She knew that it would make you feel better.
If you are still together and your girlfriend says that she misses you, it either means:
5. She is trying to tell you that she likes you and wants to see you more.
For example: You’ve just started dating and she wants you to know that she hopes you continue to pursue her. She doesn’t want you to feel as though she’s not interested.
She hopes that when you read her message saying that she misses you or when you hear her say that on the phone, it then causes you to contact her, arrange a date, have sex with her and deepen the connection that you and her share.
6. She is just testing to see how you will react.
Will you act like you don’t care, tell her that you miss her too (in a relaxed, easy-going way) or admit that you’ve been missing her like crazy and haven’t been able to eat or sleep properly when she doesn’t call you?
Sometimes, a boyfriend will become too obsessed with his girlfriend too quickly. If a woman has had relationship experience with guys who become obsessed too easily and quickly, she might want to steer clear of another relationship like that because those guys are usually become needy, clingy, too jealous, etc.
7. She is checking to see if you miss her too.
She is hoping to find out if you’ve been seeing other women or completely forgetting about her when she’s not around because you’re busy with your career or studies.
If you’ve been really busy, but you tell her, “Hey – great to hear from you. I’ve been really busy this week. I miss you too and I hope to see you soon. I will give you a call in a couple of days” she then knows that she’s still important to you and she can then feel excited about potentially meeting up with you soon.
Women Don’t Always Say What They Really Mean
If women tend to confuse you, don’t worry – you’re not alone.
Most guys go through much or all of their life never really understanding what women want and what they really mean when they say things.
To get you up to speed, I’ve made this free video that explains 7 things about women that seem strange, weird and even annoying to guys who don’t understand where women are coming from when they do it…
As a man, you have to understand that women aren’t men. Women think, behave and act differently to men for very good reasons.
For example: Has your girlfriend ever starting acting weird by being quiet or or becoming irritable all of a sudden? Then, when you asked her, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” she said, “Nothing. I’m fine!” even though she really wanted to say, “No, I’m definitely NOT fine.”
Why doesn’t she just tell you that she’s not fine when you ask her?
Another example is if you ask her if it’s okay to go out partying with your friends without her. She might say, “Of course it’s okay with me if you go out with your friends tonight without me there. Have fun…bye!”
Yet, what she REALLY wants to say is, “If you loved me, you would realize that I’m NOT okay with you going out without me tonight. If you actually cared about me and were proud to have me as your girlfriend, you wouldn’t even consider asking me if this was okay. You would invite me and we’d party with your friends as a couple.”
Why doesn’t she just say that?
Most Women Talk to Men in “Code”
Some women are straight up and tell guys exactly what they mean, but most women don’t.
Rather than telling a guy what they really mean, they speak in a “code” that you need to understand if you want to be successful at picking up women and keeping a relationship together. If you don’t ever fully understand women speak in code, you will probably end up feeling resentful and irritable towards your girlfriend and getting into regular, unnecessary arguments.
At this point, some guys reading along might be thinking, “Why do women have to play these stupid games? Why can’t she just be straight with me?”
The answer is simple: Women are not men.
Although most men will usually say exactly what’s on their mind, many women won’t. Here are three of the main reasons why:
1. To avoid emotional or physical abuse
In the past (and in many countries around the world today), women were emotionally abused and even beaten if they voiced their opinions to their man. So, a woman will often say, “It’s fine,” even when it isn’t, rather than put herself in a position where she can be potentially hurt by her man for disagreeing with him.
That doesn’t mean that you’re the type of guy who will want to beat her up for stepping out of line in a conversation, but it does mean that she has an in-built instinct to avoid confrontations with a man that she is in a relationship with.
2. To avoid giving him a way to excuse his behavior
Sometimes, a girlfriend doesn’t want her boyfriend to brush over or ignore her feelings by trying to reason with her or come up with excuses for his unattractive, disrespectful or unloving behavior.
For example: If a girlfriend says “No, I don’t want you to go out with your friends tonight. Stay home with me please? I’ll make you some of that cake you like” it’s easy for her man to then say, “Look, I promise to spend time with you tomorrow night. I love you, okay? Don’t worry” and then brush off her feelings like that.
If she then says “No” again and asks that he stays home with her, she’ll end up sounding like the controlling, nagging girlfriend and she doesn’t want to come across as that.
However, to her, saying “No” about him going out isn’t her way of trying to reschedule another evening together, but rather about a deeper problem, which he is clearly failing to notice when he brushes over her concerns like that.
The deeper problem is that if he were proud to have her as his girlfriend, then he wouldn’t mind her coming out to party with him. Likewise, if he were seeing her as his potential wife in future, he wouldn’t want to go out flirting with other women and potentially end up cheating on her if he got drunk and met a cute girl.
Instead, he would want to build up months of fun, partying memories with her before they made the transition to be a more committed couple (i.e. they got engaged) and then started doing things that committed couples tend to do (e.g. hanging out with other couples, moving into together, getting a pet together, going on holidays together or with family, spending time with each other’s family, etc).
If she sees that he isn’t on the same wavelength as her and is treating her like a casual dating relationship, but she wants something more serious, she might start out saying things like, “I miss you…we hardly spend time together” to see if he picks up on what she really means.
Sometimes, a woman will come right out and say, “Hey, I want you and I to spend time together and when we’re bored of partying, we then settle down, get married and start a family” but most times she won’t.
Instead, she will just say things like, “I miss you. Do you miss me?” and ask things like, “Where do you see our relationship going? Do you think we’ll be together two years from now?” or “What do you think of marriage?”
If her guy doesn’t pick up on her cues, she will stick around and wait if he’s the type of guy who is worth waiting for, but if she’s already been losing a lot of respect and attraction for him throughout the relationship, she will start to question whether or not she should be with him.
The more respect and attraction she loses for him, the more open she will become to flirting with other guys and potentially dumping him and moving on.
3. To avoid teaching him how to be a man
By having to “spell things out” for her boyfriend, a woman can end up feeling like she’s his teacher, or worse, his mother and this then kills any respect and attraction she may have for him.
Why does it kill the respect and attraction? Women want to be with a guy that they can look up to and respect, not a guy that they have to lift up, teach and carry around.
When a woman loses respect for a guy (e.g. she feels stronger than him, can’t rely on him to be a man, has to mother him, etc) she then loses touch with her feelings of attraction for him. If that goes on for long enough, she will eventually fall out of love with him.
Missing You When You’re Still in a Relationship With Her
In a relationship, it is the man’s responsibility to maintain and build on the respect, attraction and love between himself and his woman.
If a guy becomes neglectful of this responsibility, his girlfriend will gradually begin to feel unhappy in the relationship and start feeling that something is just “not right.”
Eventually, this will lead to her lose respect and attraction for him as her man and may even cause her to break up with him.
So, rather than sitting around saying, “My girlfriend said she misses me” and hoping that doesn’t decide to find herself a new guy, ask yourself, “Which part of my attitude, behavior or actions that I’ve been displaying lately are making her feel this way?”
Her missing you may be a good thing (e.g. you’re a cool, confident guy who is rising through the levels of life and reaching for your true potential as a man. She is trying to spend more time with you and is enjoying the challenge. She will stick by you and hope that you reward her with more of your time if she’s good to you) or it could be a bad thing.
If it’s a bad thing, she is missing you because you’re not spending enough time with her and you’ve also been saying and doing things that have been causing her to lose respect and attraction for you.
In that case, she might miss you for a while, but if she doesn’t start feeling the type of love, respect and attraction for you that she needs to justify being faithful to you, then she might decide to break up with you or begin seeing other guys behind your back and then break it off with you.
If her saying that she misses you is setting off alarm bells in your mind and you’re now worried that you’re not paying her enough attention, consider the following… Consider this…
1. Have you been taking her for granted?
One of the biggest relationship mistakes that guys make in a relationship is to slip into taking their girlfriend (fiancé or wife) for granted.
Often, this is not something a guy will do intentionally, but the pressures of everyday life can make him become neglectful of her needs by behaving in certain ways that, although to him is nothing big, to her it’s a sign that he’s no longer willing to make her feel loved, appreciated and valued in the relationship.
In her mind, she will be thinking, “Does he even care about me?” which is fine if you’re the type of guy that makes her feel intense attraction, respect and love. However, if you don’t really know how to make her feel a lot of attraction for you and your relationship is going through a bit of a rough patch, she might instead think, “Is he the guy for me?”
A classic example of taking a woman for granted in when a guy changes plans that he’s made with her, often and at the last minute, or worse still, lies about how busy he is to get out of doing something with her that she wants but he’s not particularly crazy about (like visiting her parents, or going shopping, going to the movies, going to her friend’s party, etc).
Although plans can and do change at the last minute, if this is a common scenario in your relationship, it can become a problem. To your girlfriend, she will begin to see your cancellation of plans as meaning that you’re really saying, “You’re not that important to me. I’m going to treat you this way and you’re going to stick around because you’re my girlfriend. Deal with it.”
If she sees your behavior and having that type of meaning, she’s naturally going to feel unimportant in your life and begin feeling like you’re taking for granted.
If that goes on for long enough, she might try to fill up the emotional gap that you’ve left wide open and decide to flirt and even have sex with other guys behind your back.
However, if she’s a good woman who clearly loves you, rather than fight about it, cheat on you or dump you, she’ll instead say something, “I miss you” in the hopes that she is starting to feel neglected. She the hopes that you will start to honor your commitments to her more often (e.g. keeping your dates with her, doing things with her that you’d prefer to get out of, etc).
When you can show her that you’re putting in that extra effort, she will feel that, not only do her feelings matter to you, but she is also able to sometimes get your undivided attention, which will then make her feel loved, valued and will put an end to her desperate cry for attention.
Also, you have to be aware that just being with her in person is not enough to make her feel like you care about her, love her, find her sexy and appreciate her.
Just because a boyfriend might see his girlfriend daily, sitting in silence in front of the TV together is not the same as spending quality time with her. They might be sitting next to each other watching TV, but that isn’t going to make her feel that she’s actually getting his undivided attention.
Spending quality time together is about connecting mentally (e.g. talking about life), sharing experiences that make you connect (i.e. doing fun, interesting or challenging things together) and connecting physically (e.g. hugging, kissing, having sex, etc).
When your girlfriend says she misses you, she needs you to give her the type of quality time that will bring you closer together and deepen your love and attraction for each other.
2. Are there external circumstances that are keeping you apart?
Sometimes there are external circumstances that keep a boyfriend and girlfriend apart, which is why she ends up saying that she misses him.
If this is the case for you, there is always something that you can do to make her feel loved, even when you can’t physically spend as much time with her as you both would like.
For example: Do any of the following situations apply to you and your relationship with your girlfriend? If so, there are some simple solutions below that you can implement immediately to make her feel that you are “there” for her…
1. Do you live far apart from each other? Is your relationship with your girlfriend a long distance relationship?
Long distance relationships can work as long as you are willing to change up your approach a little to adapt to the situation of being apart.
It might feel like a pain in the butt to have to do this, but you should try to schedule some quality time on the phone, on Skype or using another video chat service (e.g. Facetime, Facebook video chat, etc) with her.
Spend time “connecting” with her as often as possible (e.g. talk about things in a positive way, get her feeling good about talking to you and connecting about life, the challenges she is facing, what you’re up to, etc).
Then, make a point of planning times to meet up in person. Set up definite times and dates that suit you both and make sure you stick to those dates no matter what.
2. Are you both very busy with important things in your lives like exams, a big work assignment or running a booming business?
Temporary projects at work, exams or busy business schedules don’t have to cost you your relationship. Being busy is no excuse for not taking out some time to have a more balanced approach to life.
You might not be able to meet up all the time like a normal couple, but try to make time to talk to her and spend even a few minutes of quality time together (every few days if necessary).
When you do talk to her or meet up with her, if your mind always seems to be on other things, she will feel as though you’re not really with her. You might be there in person, but you’re not being present enough with her to show her that you actually care about her and love her.
When you can be present enough to give her your undivided attention (even briefly), she will feel connected, appreciate the quality time and she then won’t bug you about missing you as often.
3. Are there reasons why you and your girlfriend can’t see each other often enough? For example: You work different shifts, your relationship is secret, etc.
Working night shifts or being unable to see each other often because other people can’t find out about your relationship can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be a problem.
Find a way to fit in short, but quality dates together. Rather than plan one long dinner date every once in a while and then not see each other for the rest of the time, try to fit in short dates regularly.
For example: Meet for a sandwich in the park during a lunch break as often as possible, or have one coffee or one drink together twice a week. Grab a motel for an hour and have some fun or cuddle and kiss on the beach after work or somewhere else that people you know won’t be able to see.
You Can Make Your Girlfriend Feel the Way That She Really Wants to Feel in a Relationship
Sometimes, saying, “My girlfriend said she misses me,” and feeling helpless can simply be because you are overlooking the obvious in your relationship with her.
Ultimately, all your girlfriend really wants to know is that she’s loved and appreciated by you. When you make a woman feel what she really wants to feel when around you, the times apart will be easier to bear because she will feel loved.
Rather than thinking, “What more does she want from me? Why isn’t the time we spend together enough? Must I give up all my other interests just to please her?” try instead to find an answer that will benefit you, her and the relationship.
At the end of the day, it’s not the overall amount of time you spend together that matters to most women; it’s how “together” and connected you both are in the time that you share.
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