When a girlfriend tells her boyfriend that they need to “talk” it essentially means that she’s no longer feeling enough love, respect and attraction for him to justify being in a relationship.
Her instincts are telling her that she should break up with you, but she’s not quite sure how to go about it.
So, before she decides to fully break up with you, watch this video to ensure that she changes her mind about breaking up…
To get her to reconsider her decision, you need to get her respect back, then her attraction and she will then begin to reconnect with her feelings of love for you.
However, if you ignore what she is saying and just hope that she gets over it, she will gradually begin to fall out of love with you and may eventually break up with you.
Stay Calm and Re-Attract Her
If your girlfriend has given you those four, horrible words of, “We need to talk,” then you’re probably not feeling optimistic about what’s going to follow.
Chances are that you’ve been thinking things like…
- She’s going to dump me, I can feel it!
- I don’t know what I’m going to do if she breaks up with me. I can’t live without her in my life.
- There’s probably nothing I can do to make her change her mind.
- It’s too late; it’s over for us.
- What if she hooks up with another guy immediately after breaking up with me?
- Is she interested in another guy already?
Prior to her saying that you and her have to “talk,” you were probably feeling relaxed, happy and content about the fact that you have a girlfriend, she loves you and she will be yours for life.
Yet now, you’re probably feeling as the rug has been pulled out from under your feet. You might not be able to eat or sleep properly because you’re worried about losing her.
Don’t worry…you can fix this.
Even though your relationship looks like it’s in serious trouble at the moment, there are many things you can do immediately to make your girlfriend feel differently about you. You don’t have to wait for her to break up with you and you don’t have to wait until it’s too late.
When you make her feel differently about you and get her to see you in a new light, and you can do that starting right now, she will automatically begin to reconsider her feelings for you.
Making her feel differently about essentially comes down to making her feel attracted to you and respectful of you as a man once again.
For example: To make her feel respectful towards you, she’s going to need to see that you’re pushing forward in life towards your biggest goals, ambitions and dreams, rather than hiding behind the safety of being in a relationship with her.
In terms of making her feel attracted to you, a lot of that will come down to your ability to make her feel girly and feminine around you, rather than feeling neutral or worse, feeling like the more masculine/dominant one in the relationship.
It’s up to you to begin interacting with her in ways that trigger her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you.
You cannot expect her to want to stay in a relationship merely because you love her and care about her; you have to let her experience the types of emotions that she needs to feel when in a relationship.
Don’t expect her to explain all this to you either, because…
Women Usually Don’t Say What They Really Mean When it Comes to Dating and Relationships
If you have “the talk” with your girlfriend, she’s probably not going to tell you what’s really bothering her about the relationship.
She’s more likely to use one of those clichéd statements like, “I don’t feel the same way about you anymore,” or “I need some space to figure out what I really want in my life,” or “It’s not you, it’s me,” rather than actually come out and tell you what is really bothering her.
Why? Women don’t want to give you all the real, deeper reasons why they are unhappy in the relationship because they don’t want to teach you how to be a man.
A woman wants her boyfriend to know how to be a man without her having to teach him. If she has to “mother” him and show him how to be the kind of man she really needs, her respect and attraction for him will diminish and she will feel turned off by him at a deep level.
This is why guys who are able to get their girlfriend to feel differently about them, start by identifying the real reasons for her unhappiness in the relationship.
Right now you might not know what these reasons are, but consider the following…
1. Have you been taking her for granted?
Most guys would not intentionally do things to make their girlfriend (or fiancé or wife) feel neglected, unloved or unappreciated. Yet, life sometimes has a way of getting in the way and some guys end up taking their woman for granted without even noticing that they’re doing it.
Taking your girlfriend for granted is not just about getting her do all the housework or all the shopping by herself. Often, it’s simply failing to appreciate the efforts that she makes to look good for you.
It can also come down to canceling your plans with her at the last minute. Yes, plans do change, but if you’ve been canceling your plans with your girlfriend regularly by using the “We can do something together another time,” excuse, it’s only naturally that she will begin feeling that she’s taking second place in your life.
To keep a woman happy to be in a relationship with you, it is vital that you continue to deepen the love, respect and attraction between you, rather than taking it for granted and thinking that she won’t ever leave you.
In the past, a woman would stay with one man for life because she had to save her virginity for marriage and then respect the vows she made on her wedding day.
In today’s world, a woman can leave whenever she wants. If a guy wants a woman to stay with him for life, he has to be able to guide her into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction, rather than just expecting that she will stick around because things felt good at the start.
2. Have you been letting her wear the pants in the relationship?
Some guys believe that the only way to keep a woman happy in a relationship is to let her “wear the pants” and follow her lead. Yet, although a woman might enjoying having power over a guy for a while, she will eventually lose respect for him because of it and when that happens, she will lose touch with her feelings of attraction for him.
You will often hear women on TV saying that today’s woman is independent and doesn’t need a man to lead and tell her what to do. This can be confusing for guys who aren’t experienced enough with women to know that what women say and what they actually do are often two completely different things (e.g. a woman says she wants a nice guy and then hooks up with a bad boy).
Confused guys often end up suppressing their masculinity in a relationship (i.e. they let her wear the pants, they try hard to impress her and get her approval, etc) because they assume this is what their woman wants.
In reality, regardless of how intelligent, strong and independent a woman is, the truth is that she still wants her man to be a man.
She doesn’t want to feel that she has to “mother” a guy and lead him through the steps of a relationship. A woman wants a guy to be mentally and emotionally stronger than her so she can relax and be the feminine woman she wants to be.
If you force your girlfriend to take on your natural, masculine role in the relationship, she won’t feel like a real woman and she will not enjoy being around you.
By you “wearing the pants,” it doesn’t mean that you have to lead everything, decide on everything and boss her around. Instead, it means that you simply need to take on the role of being the more emotionally strong one and lead the way to a better life for you and her.
You can also get her to take responsibility of certain tasks, make decisions at times and lead the way, but you still have to be the one who she can rely on when she breaks down and cries or gives up when things get tough.
Not all women will break down and cry or give up when things get tough, but if a woman is feminine (i.e. she is girly, emotional) and doesn’t have the mindset, energy or attitude of a man, she won’t like having to think, act and behave like a man.
If you make your girlfriend feel like she has to be a man like you, she will eventually become bored of being around you and will yearn to be with a man who can make her feel like a feminine woman again.
3. Have you become clingy, needy and insecure?
A common mistake that is often made by guys who say, “My girlfriend said we need to talk,” is to become emotionally needy or insecure.
For example: A guy might begin to ask for regular reassurance that she still loves him and wants to be with him and will explain that without her, he is nothing and will essentially crumble and die. He might also try to make her feel guilty by suggesting that he would commit suicide if she left him.
“If you and I weren’t together, I don’t even know if I would want to live. How would you feel if you were responsible for me committing suicide? I will do it. You are everything to me, so what’s the point of living if I don’t have you?”
Any type of emotionally weakness (e.g. insecurity, neediness, anxiety, clinginess, social fears, etc) is a sexual turn off for women. A woman might put up with being with a guy who is emotionally weak for a while, but if he doesn’t fix his issues and improve himself, her lack of respect and attraction for him will cause her to begin falling out of love with him.
Women are attracted to the strength in men, not the weakness, so the more a guy tries to hold on to her in an emotionally weak way (e.g. begging, crying, pleading, etc), the more she pulls away and the less attractive he becomes in her eyes.
You Can Change How She Feels About You
It doesn’t matter if your girlfriend currently isn’t feeling what she really wants to feel in a relationship. What matters is that you now begin to trigger her feelings of respect and attraction for you. When you do that, she will naturally begin to get over her idea of breaking up with her.
Right now, she is in a relationship with you, so you have a perfect opportunity to fix things before it results in an actual break up. Getting her to reconsider her decision essentially comes down to you improving yourself to become more attractive to her that you have been lately.
There may be some things that your girlfriend finds attractive about you at the moment, but if she feels like she “needs to talk,” it means that the things that are turning her off are outweighing the things that are keeping her in the relationship with you.
If you want to change the negative feelings she has towards you right now, you have to make changes to your way of thinking and behavior that is turning her off.
For instance: If you’re being clingy and insecure, you need to become more confident in your sex appeal to her, your value to her and your ability to keep her happy in a relationship.
If you’ve been letting her wear the pants in the relationship, you have to start taking the lead and allowing her to relax into feeling like more of a feminine woman when she’s with you.
You don’t have to fully fix everything and become perfect to get her to feel differently about you, but you do need to start working on those emotional issues properly.
If you have begun to fix your issues and improve yourself emotionally as a man, she will be able to see it in your actions, body language and conversation style and she will feel a renewed sense of excitement about being in a relationship with you.