If you are making your girlfriend feel more attraction, respect and love than her ex-boyfriend did, then you’ve got nothing to worry about.
However, if he using an ex back system like the one I provide here at The Modern Man, you need to careful because he will most-likely be making her feel a lot of respect and attraction for him and making her question whether or not she should be with you.
Regardless of how good your relationship is right now with your girlfriend, she can instantly begin to feel turned off by you if she notices that you feel threatened by her ex-boyfriend.
Watch this video for an example of how insecurity about your attractiveness to her can ruin your relationship…
What your girlfriend will want to see is that, no matter what he says or what she does, you always maintain confidence in yourself and know that you’re a better option than him.
She also wants to feel like if she did get back with her ex boyfriend, you would easily be able to attract another women like her or a woman who is even more beautiful than her.
If your girlfriend gets the sense that you feel insecure because you think her ex-boyfriend is more attractive to her than you are, it will automatically begin to make him more attractive in her eyes. Why?
It will create a contrast between you and him. He will seem confident and you will be coming across as insecure. Since women are attracted to the emotional strength in men and turned off by the weakness, your girlfriend will automatically begin to feel turned off by you.
Of course, none of this would be happening to you if you were your girlfriend’s first love, but, if you’re saying, “My girlfriend’s ex boyfriend wants her back,” then she’s clearly had some previous experience with other guys.
Inevitably, your girlfriend has love and relationship baggage, which right now is coming back to haunt you.
So, a question to ask and answer here is: Should you be at all worried that your girlfriend’s ex boyfriend wants her back?
Is Your Girlfriend Giving You Reasons to Doubt Her Full Commitment to You?
Your girlfriend’s behavior will let you know whether she’s interested in taking her ex boyfriend up on his offer for a reconciliation, or whether the idea of being with him makes her cringe.
For example: He might be texting her or trying to chat to her online.
If your girlfriend seems upset about this and tells you, “Damn! It’s my ex again! He’s really driving me crazy…I wish he’d just get the message and leave me alone!” while she deletes his message, she’s clearly letting you know by her conversation, actions and body language that she’s not even remotely interested in getting back with him.
If she runs into him when you’re out together and she gets aggravated and says something like, “Damn! There’s my ex again. Can we leave?” then it means that is probably over him and is is now focused on being in a relationship with you.
On the other hand, if she’s being secretive about his messages, or if you detect some underlying sexual tension between them when they meet unexpectedly, then you may have cause for concern.
If you ask her something like, “So, what’s really going on between you and your ex?” or “So your ex boyfriend wants you back, how do you feel about it?” and she seems uncomfortable and answers vaguely, “It’s complicated,” or “I’m just not sure how I feel about him right now,” then she clearly hasn’t resolved her issues with him.
If this is the case, it might be a good idea for you to step back and let her figure out who she really wants to be with.
This might mean that you will choose to cut your losses and move on and find yourself another, better girlfriend than her who is emotionally ready to commit fully to you.
Alternatively, you might choose to move on and date other women and wait until she comes crawling back to you with an apology.
However, what you must not do is make any of the following mistakes that guys who find themselves saying, “My girlfriend’s ex boyfriend wants her back,” usually tend to make.
My Girlfriend’s Ex Boyfriend Wants Her Back: 3 Mistakes to Avoid Making
It’s not a nice feeling to know that your girlfriend might be interested in opening herself up sexually to her ex-boyfriend. Just the thought of her having sex with her ex probably gets you feeling nauseous, angry or panicked.
However, regardless of how much it might hurt you to think that she might be considering him over you, it’s important that you don’t…
1. Become clingy and needy.
Sometimes, when a guy feel like his girlfriend is losing interest and opening herself up to the idea of being with another guy (or guys), he will react by becoming clingy and needy.
For example, he might:
- Constantly call or text her.
- Regularly need her to reassure him that she loves him and will pick him over her ex.
- Avoid hanging out with his friends or working on his life goals just so he can be available to her 24/7.
- Feel sad, lonely or lost without her and need her constant reassurance that she loves him and wants him, in order to feel good about himself.
A guy like this might believe that all he’s doing is lavishing his woman with the attention, love and adoration that she deserves; after all, what better way to show her that he’s a better guy than her ex, right?
Yet, this type of behavior often has the opposite effect and results in turning the woman off both him and the relationship.
Generally speaking, a woman wants to be in a relationship with a man who makes her feel lucky to be with him, rather than feeling like she’s doing him a favor by being his girlfriend.
If your girlfriend is being pursued by her ex boyfriend, being clingy and needy around her will only make him look more appealing to her.
Rather than thinking, “Wow, I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend. I would never go back to my ex because he could never give me this type of attention,” she may instead begin to think, “Right now, any other guy would be a better option than feeling suffocated like this by my boyfriend. Maybe my ex isn’t that bad after all…maybe I should meet up with him.”
2. Pick a fight with her ex boyfriend.
Yes, it’s not cool when your girlfriend’s ex boyfriend doesn’t get the message that she’s with you now, but that’s his problem not yours.
Again, unless your girlfriend is giving you cause to doubt her loyalty to you (in which case, you should just dump her and walk away if she doesn’t change), picking a fight and trying to beat up her ex boyfriend up for wanting her back will only make you look childish, immature and insecure.
Getting into a fistfight to defend your woman might seem like the romantic thing to do; after all, isn’t that what they do in the movies, TV shows and music videos? Yet, in real life, picking a fight with her ex will only make your girlfriend question her decision to be with you.
She won’t necessarily pick her ex over you because you got into a fight with him, but she may begin to think that you are insecure about your attractiveness and value to her.
She may also begin to worry that you are the type of guy who can’t control his emotions when threatened, so she will wonder if you would ever get violent with her too.
You simply have to realize that her ex-boyfriend is nothing compared to you. You are better than him and if she doesn’t realize that, you need to dump her.
If you are afraid to dump her because you’re worried that you wont be able to get another hot girlfriend, then you will most-likely fall into the trap of being emotionally insecure during this time, which will turn her off and may cause her to want her ex back.
3. Try to compete with her ex boyfriend.
You’re in, he’s out. Your girlfriend picked you and she’s with you now.
You’ve got to see it that way and believe in yourself, rather than thinking that you now have to compete with him.
Badmouthing your girlfriend’s ex boyfriend by giving her a long list of all his faults, or telling her how much better looking, muscular, rich, smart or good to her you are, only makes you look insecure.
Your girlfriend already knows all these things about both him and you. Just as there’s a lot of good reasons why she broke up with him, there are also a lot of good reasons why she is with you.
Right now, she has picked you. She likes you and wants to be with you, so embrace that and don’t worry about her ex.
Women are very good at reading a guy’s body language to determine whether or not he feels insecure. If you think that your girlfriend’s ex boyfriend is better than you, it will come across in your body language, vibe and conversation style and your girlfriend will pick up on it.
She will then instinctively feel more attracted to him because he will appear more confident and masculine in the way he thinks, feels and behaves. All women are more attracted to men who believe in themselves and don’t see other men as being competition to them, so make sure that you hold onto the belief that you are better than him.
4. Accuse her of cheating or wanting her ex boyfriend back.
Most people have a past, which is why it would be naïve of you to assume that your girlfriend never had feelings for another guy before she met you.
Yes, she may have loved him and enjoyed being with him, but he is her ex and you are her new boyfriend. You need to believe in yourself and your attractiveness to her, otherwise her ex will become a more appealing option than you.
Just because your girlfriend’s ex boyfriend wants her back, that’s not her problem.
Even if she has some unfinished business with him (like she’s still collecting all her stuff from his place, etc.), and she has to meet up with him from time to time, or chat to him online, via text or on the phone, it’s not a sign that she’s cheating on you with him, or an indication that she wants him back.
Some insecure guys will regularly check their girlfriend’s Facebook, LinkedIn, Whatsapp, Twitter, Instagram or other social media pages to see how often she’s communicating with her ex. They might also read her text messages while she’s not looking.
A guy like that may then question her about certain posts or text messages, especially if, in his eyes, they sound “suspicious.” If he’s feeling especially insecure, he might even accuse her of being unfaithful or of wanting to get back with her ex.
However, it’s understandable that when you’re saying, “My girlfriend’s ex boyfriend wants her back,” being suspicious of your girlfriend’s loyalty and intentions might feel like the natural, normal thing to do.
Yet, you must understand that doing so is the quickest way to lose her respect and attraction for you as a man.
It’s fine to feel a bit protective over your woman and to show her that you care. However, if you’re too suspicious and protective because you’re afraid she’ll go back to her ex boyfriend, it will only cause her to lose respect and attraction for you.
You have to ensure that she can naturally maintain her positive perception of you, and that her feelings of respect and attraction for you continue to grow over time.
If you chip away at that respect and attraction by being insecure, she will naturally begin to look at her ex (and even other men) in a more positive light and she will begin to wonder why she is with you.
If you want your relationship to work, you have to give her your full trust knowing that she may break that trust. If she breaks your trust, then that is her problem.
You have to know that you’re a great guy and that she is lucky to be with you. Fearlessly give her your love and trust and if she decides to stomp all over that, it is her loss.
She will only want to leave you though if you are making her lose respect and attraction for you. Right now, you have a perfect opportunity to improve her feelings of respect and attraction for you by remaining confident in yourself and your attractiveness to her.
Deepen the respect and attraction she feels for you by showing her that you don’t feel threatened by her ex-boyfriend and you know that you’re a better option than he is.
Even if you secretly think that he might be a better option than you, it’s important that you don’t let your girlfriend pick up on that. Let her see that you believe in yourself and your attractiveness to her.
Make Your Girlfriend Feel Lucky to Have Picked You
No matter what your girlfriend’s ex boyfriend says or does, you need to remain relaxed and easy-going. It’s not a competition between you and him because your girlfriend has already picked you.
When your girlfriend can see that you aren’t worried that she might have some lingering feelings for him and are completely confident about your place and value in her life, it will make her feel a whole lot of respect and attraction for you.
Rather than sit around doubting yourself by saying, “My girlfriend’s ex boyfriend wants her back,” realize that you are really better than him.
Once you adopt this belief, you will have nothing to worry about because you will naturally be thinking, behaving and acting in a way that deepens your girlfriend’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for you.