The fastest way to get your ex back is to actively make her have some feelings for you again.
Three examples of feelings are attraction, respect and love.
In most cases, a guy can make his ex-woman have feelings for him again immediately, or within a few days of trying.
How can he do that? He can actively re-spark some of her feelings by email, text, social media, on a phone call, or in person.
Once you have re-sparked your ex’s feelings for you, she will then relax her guard and begin to feel drawn to you.
She suddenly has feelings for you again and no matter how hard she tries to fight it, she can’t ignore the fact that she is feeling drawn to you now. She wants to be around you, she wants to see you, she wants to be in your arms again.
At that point you simply need to guide her through the rest of the ex back process and she will be yours once again.
Where most guys go wrong, is that they either go inactive and they ignore her in the hopes that she comes running back, or the guy continues to talk to her in ways that are unattractive to her.
For example: If a woman says to a guy, “I don’t wan’t to be with you anymore,” a guy will usually then beg and plead with her and say things like, “Please give me another chance,” or he’ll try to ask her why, “Please tell me why you’re breaking up with me. Tell me what I need to do, I’ll do anything, I’ll change anything.”
But the thing is, neither of those approaches work.
Begging and pleading doesn’t work because women aren’t attracted to the emotional weakness of men.
Women are attracted to the emotional strength of men and turned off by emotional weakness, so in moments like that, it simply makes her have even less feelings for him.
As for asking her why she’s breaking up with you, that doesn’t help either because a woman doesn’t want to be a guy’s teacher in life about how to be a man.
If she teaches her guy how to be the man that she needs now, she fears that he will need her to teach him again in the future.
If that keeps happening time and time again, she will feel like she has to take care of him, or as though she is his big sister, mother, or teacher in life.
She wants him to figure out how to be a man without her help, rather than asking her to tell him what he needs to change to make her happy.
This is why some guys will waste months trying to ask a woman for another chance, when she just isn’t interested because he doesn’t know how to make her have feelings for him anymore.
Likewise, some guys will waste weeks or months ignoring their ex in the hope that she comes back, but if she doesn’t have feelings for him, she’s not going to feel like she’s missing out on much, so she’ll usually just move on.
Actively Make Her Have Feelings For You Again
The fastest way to get her back is to be active, rather than inactive.
By active I mean that you’re actively making her have feelings for you again, rather than ignoring her and hoping that it does the trick.
A lot of guys come to me for advice on how to get their ex back, after they’d been ignoring their woman for 30 or 60 days and they come to me and ask, “Why isn’t it working, Dan? Why isn’t my woman running back to me?” and the reason why is that ignoring a woman just doesn’t work in most cases.
I’ve only seen that approach work in about 20% of cases, and when it does work, the woman comes back temporarily, and then she sees that the guy hasn’t changed, and she breaks up with him again.
So, not only has the guy lost a lot of time where he’s been ignoring her and she’s been moving on without him, but if he does get another chance with her, she breaks up with him because she sees that he really just hasn’t changed.
He’s still stuck at the same level that he was at when she broke up with him, and he’s just not able to make her have the type of feelings that she wants to feel.
On the other hand, when you actively make your ex have feelings for you again, she then starts to wonder, “Why do I miss him all of a sudden? Why am I worried about losing him now?” because you have successfully flicked her feelings back on, you flicked that switch, you’ve re-sparked her feelings.
From that moment onwards, you just need to continue saying and doing the types of things that are going to make her have feelings for you again rather than continuing to say and do the types of things that were turning her off in the past, or that have been turning her off since the breakup.
Stop Turning Her Off and Start Turning Her On
During or after a break up, some guys turn their woman off further by:
- Trying to convince her to give him another chance even though he doesn’t know how to make her have feelings for him again.
- Begging or pleading for another chance in the hope that she takes pity on him.
- Displaying emotional weakness or being insecure.
- Asking her to tell him what he needs to change to make her happy.
- Being extra nice to her in the hope that she sees how much he cares and then changes her mind. (A woman doesn’t really care how much a guy cares if she doesn’t have feelings for him. He needs to make her have some feelings for him first, otherwise she’s just not going to care how much he cares).
- Constantly texting or messaging her about his feelings.
- Apologizing about things that she doesn’t really care about (e.g. a guy is apologizing for not treating her better during the relationship when what she really cares about is that he doesn’t make her feel feminine enough around him. She feels more like a friend, she feels neutral, rather than feeling like his girl. So, when he apologizes about not treating her better, she doesn’t really care about that and she’s not going to tell him what she really wants him to do).
- Showering her with gifts.
- Being afraid to flirt with her or joke around with her during conversations and instead just being neutral, polite, cautious and hesitant about what he says or does.
- Lacking confidence around her.
None of those things make her have feelings for you again because they’re not the type of things that turn a woman on and make a woman want to get back with a guy.
However, when you create a spark of attraction, she then starts to feel intrigued.
She starts to wonder, “Why am I feeling this way?” and she wants to text you, she wants to speak to you on the phone, she wants to look at you on social media, and she wants to see you in person.
When you trigger her feelings of attraction for you again, it makes the negatives of your relationship seem less important, because she naturally feels drawn to you, in a way that feels good to her.
She can’t stop herself from wanting to interact with you via text, on the phone and in person, even though she previously thought that she was over you. She feels drawn to you, and from there you can build on that spark of attraction and show her that things really are different now.
Without sparking her feelings of attraction for you again, it’s going to be very difficult for you to get her back no matter what you try to do.
For example: If a guy tries to ignore his ex in the hope that she comes running back, she’s not going to care if he’s ignoring her if she doesn’t feel attracted to him or doesn’t have feelings for him.
She’s going to be thinking, “Yeah, good for you…you’re ignoring me…I’m moving on, I’m feeling great. Bye!”
Yet, if he was to spark her feelings of attraction and actively make her have some feelings for him again, and then he didn’t contact her for a couple of days, that’s a different story. Then she’s going to start to miss him.
Don’t Ignore Her For More Than 7 Days
When I’ve helped guys to successfully get their woman back, what I found is that a guy doesn’t need to use any more than 3-7 days of space.
Anything more than that and it’s usually a huge waste of time.
As long as you are sparking her feelings for you again, even just a day or two without her hearing from you will often result in a message, either on social media, on your phone, or she’ll call you, she’ll click ‘like’ on something, she’ll send you an email, she’ll suddenly show up where you are, etc.
Actively making her have feelings for you again is so important.
When a guy is trying to beg and plead with his ex and say, “Please give me another chance,” or he’s asking her, “Please tell me why,” and she’s not feeling attracted to him, she doesn’t have feelings for him at that point, she not going to care.
It just doesn’t matter to her because she doesn’t have feelings for him.
If he’s trying really hard to reason with her and explain to her that he really can change, she’s usually just going to say something like, “Look, I know that you mean well but I’m sorry, I just don’t feel attracted to you anymore,” or “I don’t feel the same way anymore,” or “I need time apart,” or “I just don’t want to be in a relationship anymore.”
Essentially, what she’s saying is that she just doesn’t have feelings for him, and he doesn’t even know how to make her have feelings for him.
He’s just begging, pleading, convincing, asking, going on and on about the same old things, but it’s not triggering her feelings for him.
By the way, when I talk about attraction and making her have feelings for you again, a mistake that a lot of guys make is thinking about attraction in terms of the physical.
Guys will go and buy lots of new clothes and shoes and work out at the gym, and really work hard to add an extra centimeter to their biceps and maybe a little bit more definition on their abs or whatever, or lose a bit of weight, put on a bit of weight, etc.
However, if you are one of the guys who understands how a woman’s attraction really works, you will know that a woman’s attraction to a man’s physical appearance isn’t as powerful as her emotional attraction to him.
A woman’s emotional attraction to a guy is based on how he makes her feel by the way he talks, interacts with her, his body language, his attitude, the way he responds to her and reacts to her, etc.
It’s about who he is.
When she’s interacting with him, is she feeling good? Is she feeling turned on? Is she feeling like she can look up to him and respect him?
Or is she feeling turned off? Does she feel like she can’t really look up to him and respect him? Does she look down on him?
Does she feel like she’s emotionally stronger than him? Does she feel turned off in all those sorts of ways?
That is what really matters.
If you are serious about getting your woman back, you must understand one thing…
Her emotional attraction for you is what she calls her feelings.
If she’s saying to you that she doesn’t have feelings for you right now, it means that the way that you’re talking to her, the way that you’re interacting with her, the way that you come across to her, doesn’t trigger those feelings (emotional attraction) inside of her.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that you can’t start to trigger those feelings (e.g. respect, attraction, love).
You can adjust the way that you’re talking to her, you can make some changes and improvements to the way that you talk to her and interact with her. You can react differently to what she says and you can respond differently.
You can do that.
When you interact with her in ways that spark her feelings for you, everything changes.
The process of getting her back becomes really easy, because she is feeling open to you, she’s feeling drawn to you, she likes interacting with you, she enjoys it, she feels good when she’s interacting with you.
However, if you continue to interact with her in ways that turn her off, then getting her back is going to be a very difficult, if not impossible process for you.
She’s just going to be saying to you, “Sorry, I don’t have any feelings for you,” because you’re not saying and doing things that are making her have feelings for you.
If you don’t know what to start saying and doing when you interact with her, then all of that information is provided in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System.
All of the examples of what to text her, what to email her, what to say to her on the phone, what to say to her in person, how to behave, how to pass her tests, how to get her to bring her guard down, how to get her to feel respect, attraction and love for you again, are included in the program.
By the way…
If your ex isn’t currently talking to you, and won’t respond to your texts, emails, or phone calls, don’t worry about that. There are techniques that you can use prior to that point to get her to bring her guard down. All of that is explained in the Get Your Ex Back: Super System program.
I developed the program by helping more than 100 phone-coaching clients to get their woman back, so I know about all the problems that guys experience when trying to get a girlfriend, fiance or wife back.
I know that most guys who are starting out are at a point where their woman doesn’t want anything to do with them. It’s not as simple as calling her up and saying, “Hey! Let’s catch up,” and then he re-attracts her.
Guys who are looking for help to get their woman back are usually at the point where they’ve screwed things up and the woman is saying, “Get away from me,” or she’s no longer responding to what he’s saying or doing.
So, just know that I’ve got you covered there. I’ve got all those techniques for you.
My program has all of my best, proven to work examples of what to do to get her to bring her guard down, get her to text with you, get her to answer phone calls, get her to meet up with you, get her to bring her guard down, get her to forgive you, get her to feel respect and attraction for you, get her to fall in love with you again.
The Best Gift You Will Ever Give to Her
One final point that I want to make for you, is that you are actually going to be giving her a gift by getting her back, because the love, respect and attraction that she will feel for you will be beyond anything that she’s experienced before.
You will open her eyes to the fact that falling back in love after a breakup is one of the most amazing feelings that she will ever experience in life.
When she feels more attracted to you than she ever has before, because you are now making her feel attracted in new and exciting ways, she will realize that her love for you is more powerful than she ever knew.
You will show her what true love really feels like.
When I hear back from guys who have used my techniques to get their ex back, I’m often told that the woman cried with joy when their relationship got back together, because she was so overwhelmed with how good she was feeling.
That is the power of actively making her have feelings for you again rather than wasting time ignoring her, or wasting energy to convince her to give you another chance by telling her how much you care.
When you spark her feelings for you again and then build on that, all of her walls come down and she literally wants to be back in your arms again.
Being held by you feels good.
It feels right.
She might be confused at first because she was certain that she wanted to break up with you, but her heart will be full of new feelings for you that she won’t be able to ignore.
What she probably doesn’t realize now is that falling back in love in you will be one of the best feelings that she’s ever going to experience in life.
Of course, it’s going to feel great for you too, but you are going to be giving her an unforgettable gift by getting her to fall back in love with you and allowing her to experience the true power of love.
You are going to make her have such strong feelings for you that she not only wants to get back together, but she doesn’t want the relationship to break up again.
As you begin to make her have feelings for you again, her heart will start to fill up with new, exciting emotions and she will feel compelled to be around you.
You then simply need to guide her through the final steps of the process until she is back in your arms and feeling so happy to be with you again.
What a lot of guys don’t know, is that getting a woman back after a breakup is an exciting, rewarding and fulfilling process for the man and the woman.
It feels good for both of them.
However, I just want to remind you though, that is only when you’re making her have feelings for you again, when you’re re-sparking her feelings and you’re building on it.
If you are trying to get your ex back without even making her have feelings for you again, then it’s going to be a really difficult process for you. It’s going to be drawn out and it will be highly unlikely that you get her back.
On the other hand, when you focus on making her have feelings for you again and building on that, it becomes very easy and things just start to fall into place.
You guide her from one step to the next until she’s back in your arms, telling you that she loves you again and she’s feeling happy to be back together with you.
Are You Serious About Getting Her Back?
So, what are you going to do about your woman?
Are you going to just ignore her and hope that she comes running back?
Are you going to continue to try to convince her to give you another chance, even though you are not re-sparking her feelings for you?
Are you going to continue to ask her why? Are you going to try to be really nice to her in the hope that she takes pity on you, or are you actually going to make her have feelings for you again?
Are you going to re-spark her feelings and make her feel new and exciting emotions when she’s interacting with you?
Are you going to give her the gift of seeing the true power of love (i.e. having the experience of falling back in love with a guy that she broke up with, he improved, he made her feel even more amazing than he’s ever made her feel before, and she then gets to experience the true power of love)?
Other guys have done it, and you can do it too, so the question is, what are you going to do?
What are you going to do about her?
Are you going to ignore her? Are you going to hope that she comes running back by some magical reason?
Are you going to try to convince her, or are you going to actively make her have feelings for you again and give her the gift of falling back in love with the guy that she should be with?
Okay, so I hope this post has been helpful for you, and if you want to follow a simple, step-by-step process to get her back, go ahead and watch my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
It’s 10 hours of video, and by the end of watching 10 hours of video, you will be ready to contact her, make her have feelings for you again, get the relationship back together and enjoy an even better relationship than you had before.