Acting as though you don’t care about getting your ex back to make her change her mind only works on some women (e.g. if it’s her first relationship, if she is unable to find a new guy to replace you, if she still loves you and wants to be with you).
However, almost all other women will simply use the fact that you don’t care to move on even faster, so they can get revenge on you (i.e. by hooking up with a new guy and posting up photos on social media of her hanging out with him) for not caring about getting her back.
The best approach to use is to confidently get her back by reactivating her feelings and guiding the relationship back together at a pace that works for the both of you.
Some women will get back with their ex immediately, whereas some take days, others weeks and in really bad cases, it takes more than a month to fully get her back.
So, rather than wasting a lot of time playing mind games with your ex by hoping that acting like you don’t care will make her run back to you, just focus on actively re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you every time you interact with her (whether you’re texting her, interacting with her on social media, calling her on the phone, or meeting up with her in person).
When you reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you again, it changes her perception of you (which right now is mostly negative) and she begins to see you in a more positive light.
When that happens, she can’t stop herself from wanting to interact with you again, even though she previously thought that she was over you and didn’t want anything to do with you anymore.
All of a sudden, she feels drawn to you and from there you can build on that spark of attraction and get her to change her mind about the break up.
However, if you just act as though you don’t care about getting her back and don’t do anything to activate her feelings of respect and attraction for you again, the chances of making her change her mind are low.
Acting Like You Don’t Care Often Makes Things Worse
Sometimes, a guy might try to get his ex back by begging and pleading with her, apologizing excessively and promising her that he will change if she gives him another chance.
If that approach doesn’t work, a guy might then think, “I’ve tried everything to make her change her mind. I don’t know what else to do now. I’m desperate to get her back. Maybe if I just act like I don’t care about getting her back, she will realize her mistake and come running back to me. Yeah! I’ll make her feel worried that I don’t care anymore and she will then feel the need to contact me to stop feeling that pain. Then, when she contacts me, she will want me back and it will be much easier! I’ve worked it out! I will act like I don’t care!”
Yet, although that can work in some cases (about 20% of ex back cases that I see), in 80% of cases, playing mind games with a woman simply doesn’t work.
Here is what can happen when a guy tries to get his ex back by pretending that he doesn’t care about her.
1. He wastes time by acting like he doesn’t care and she then moves on without him.
It’s common knowledge that humans always want what they can’t have.
So, when a guy gets broken up with and his ex is saying things like, “Look, you just have to accept that you and I are broken up now. Stop trying to make me change my mind. It’s over,” it’s understandable that he might think, “Okay then, fine. I’ll change her mind by pretending that I don’t care if we get back together or not. When she realizes that she has lost me completely, she will panic and will come running back to me for another chance. I’ll teach her a lesson by making her feel rejected. She will regret this!”
Yet, in most cases, it just doesn’t work and the woman simply moves on.
To begin with, when a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because she has lost respect and attraction for him over time.
So, when she’s sitting at home thinking about her ex relationship, chances are high that she’s not remembering the good times.
Instead she’s likely saying to herself, “I can’t believe how badly he hurt me. I would never put myself through something like that again. I wasted my time with him because he just doesn’t understand what I want or what we women want. He just doesn’t get it. I hope he doesn’t think there’s a chance of us ever getting back together again. Maybe I need to move on to make sure that I can be in a position to tell him that I have a new guy and can’t get back with him. Yeah, I’ll go out with the girls this weekend and see if I can find a new guy.”
So, when her ex then interacts with her (e.g. on a phone call, or in person) she will likely be cold and distant towards him and she might say something like, “I hope you don’t think there’s a chance that we’ll ever be together again? You’re crazy if you do. We’re not getting back together. I’ve made up my mind.”
To hopefully trick her by acting like her doesn’t care, he might then say something like, “What makes you think I want to get back with you? I’m perfectly fine without you in my life. I’m moving on, so don’t worry – I don’t want you back.”
Secretly, he’s hoping that she’ll suddenly starting wanting him because he no longer wants her.
He’s thinking, “People want what they can’t have, so I am going to show her that she can’t have me!”
Yet, if a woman doesn’t have feelings for a guy anymore, him saying that he doesn’t want to get back with her will usually come as a relief to her.
She will think, “Cool. That turned out better than I thought it would. He’s leaving me alone and I can now move on and do all the things I’ve missed out on by being in an unhappy relationship with him, like hanging out with my friends, going clubbing, dancing and hopefully finding the love of my life. This is going to be great!”
So, if your ex doesn’t have much or any feelings for you right now, don’t think that acting like you don’t care is going to make her want you back.
A woman won’t care if you don’t care about her, if she doesn’t have feelings for you.
Instead she’s going to use the get out of this relationship free card that you’re giving her (i.e. by telling her that you don’t care about getting her back) as her reason to put your relationship behind her and move on.
If you genuinely want to make your ex change her mind and get her back, then don’t waste time pretending that you don’t.
The fastest way to get he back is to be active, rather than inactive.
By active, it means actively triggering her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you again, so she wants to get back with you.
In a case where a woman is still secretly in love with a guy and is hoping that they can work things out, if he then says, “I’m not interested in getting back together again with you,” she will most-likely feel hurt and close herself off even more.
She might then say to herself, “I can’t keep allowing him to do this to me. He’s hurt me enough already. This is where it stops. I’m going to focus on totally erasing him from my mind and my heart and I’m going to move on. I deserve better than this. I’m going to hook up with some new guys asap and get him off my mind completely.”
So, don’t try to trick her if she doesn’t feel much or anything for you right now.
The best way to get a woman back is to actively re-attract her and guide her back into a relationship with you.
That doesn’t mean you should harass her or bombard her with texts or phone calls.
Instead, just re-attract her and get her back.
Once you have re-sparked your ex’s feelings, it makes getting her back so much easier and more natural.
She wants to get back with you for her own reasons, rather than feeling like she has to get back with you to make you feel better about yourself.
2. He acts like he doesn’t care, so she shows interest, pretends to want him back and then punishes him by rejecting him once again.
When a guy puts on an act of pretending like he doesn’t want her back, a woman will test him to see if he’s being honest with her, or if he’s just lying to her to make her run after him.
For example: A guy might say to his ex, “I’m fine without you. I think it’s actually a good thing that we’re broken up. Let’s go our separate ways, meet new people and forget about each other. What do you say?”
She might then test him to see if he really means what he’s saying, or if he’s just putting on an act by responding with something like, “Ohh…I’m actually sorry to hear you say that. I thought we could try and make things work between us. I still care about you a lot and I miss you at tmes, but since you don’t feel the same way about me… then okay. Let’s forget about our relationship and move on.”
If he then quickly responds by saying something like, “No! No! I didn’t say I don’t care about you. Of course I care. You’re the woman I love. I would be so happy if we got back together,” she will know that he was only acting as though he doesn’t care about getting her back to make her change her mind.
So, to get revenge, she will then reject him again by saying something like, “Let me think about it. I will get back to you in a few days.”
She will then let him wait and will text him something like, “I’ve realized that I don’t really want to get back together. I think you were right… we should move on and meet other people. I hope you’re not mad. I will always have a place for you in my heart, but I just don’t want to get back together now. I wish you all the best.”
Sometimes though, a woman will get back with a guy for a day or a week to make him show her that he really loves her and wants to be with her.
When she has fully pulled him back in, she will then dump him once again to get revenge for acting like he didn’t care.
She might say something like, “I’m not sure if I’m ready to be in a relationship with you again. Maybe we can get back together in future, but I want to be single now. I hope you can respect that.”
It’s Better to Be Real
If you want to get her back, it’s better to be real, honest and emotionally strong and just guide her back into a relationship, rather than playing games.
Of course, most people won’t tell you that.
When a guy wants to get his ex woman back, people will often say things like, “What’s the matter with you? Why do you want to chase after a woman who has dumped you? That’s weak, man. You should forget about her and move on. Clearly she doesn’t want you. Man up and get over her. Just get another woman and forget all about her. Who cares about her?”
Yet, they are wrong.
There’s no shame in wanting your ex back.
Watch this quick video that I made on the subject…
Just because your relationship has broken up, it doesn’t mean that you have to forget all about it and never want to be with her again.
The choice is yours.
You can choose to walk away and make a clean start with another woman if you want to, or you can choose to get your ex back if you want to.
There’s nothing wrong with either option.
In fact, quite often, getting back together after a break up can be an exciting, rewarding process for both the man and the woman.
When you fully take on the responsibility to maintain and deepen your woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time, you will make the second time around even better for the both of you.
As long as you don’t try to get her back in a needy way (e.g. begging and pleading with her for a second chance, apologizing excessively, asking her to tell you what to do to make her happy), just don’t worry about what other people say about you want her back.
If you want to get your ex back, do it.
Getting Her Back Without Acting Like You Don’t Care
The fastest way to make your ex change her mind is by actively making her have feelings for you again, rather than acting as though you don’t care about getting her back.
You can do that by…
- Making some changes and improvements to the way you are interacting with her (e.g. you’re more confident now and no longer react in the insecure, emotionally sensitive ways that you used to).
- Making her smile, laugh and feel excited to be talking to you again.
- No longer letting her trick you into losing your cool if she’s being bitchy or cold.
- Making her feel girly and feminine in your presence.
- Showing her, via the way you think, talk, behave and interact with her that you’re a new and improved man now.
When you interact with her in ways that trigger her feelings of respect and attraction, you don’t have to put on an act to get her to change her mind, because the real you is more than good enough for her to want to change her mind and give the relationship another chance.