If you’re wondering, “Why did me and my girlfriend break up?” here are 5 possible reasons why.
1. Did you take her for granted?
In the beginning stages of a relationship, everything seems perfect and it’s difficult to imagine not thinking your girlfriend is the most amazing woman in the world, and wanting to spend as much of your time with her as possible.
Yet, over time, life happens and other things (e.g. work, studies, bills, friends) begin to take up more of your attention than the relationship. It’s not intentional, but it’s also probably one of the main reasons why a woman will break up with a man.
No guy sets out to take his woman for granted. In fact, most guys would probably say, “I would do anything for my girlfriend (fiancé or wife),” or “I would rather die than hurt my girlfriend.”
However, when a guy lacks relationship experience and doesn’t fully understand that it’s his responsibility as the man to maintain and grow the respect, attraction and love between him and his girlfriend, he might make the mistake of thinking that the love will take care of itself, and he gets comfortable with the idea that his girlfriend belongs to him and nothing will ever change that.
For example: A guy might fall into the trap of thinking that, because he says “I love you” to his girlfriend, it is enough to keep her feeling loved and appreciated.
Yet, if his actions don’t support his words, for instance, if he says, “I love you” and then spends a lot of time hanging out with friends playing TV games and ignoring her, she’s not going to feel like he really means it.
Alternatively, if he tells her that he loves her, but fails to notice her when she makes an effort to look good for him (e.g. wears something sexy, gets a new hairstyle), she will feel unappreciated.
The truth is, the majority of guys don’t even know that they’re doing it.
If right now you’re asking, “Why did me and my girlfriend break up? I just don’t know what went wrong,” it could be because you allowed yourself to slip into a comfort zone, where you assumed that she would continue to feel loved and appreciated simply because you were together.
However, if a guy doesn’t actively work on growing the respect, attraction and love between himself and his woman over time, she will not stick around.
In the past, a woman had to stay married for life, even if she was miserably unhappy.
In today’s world women can do whatever they want, and if her guy takes her for granted and stops actively making her feel the respect, attraction and love she needs to feel fulfilled in the relationship, she will break up with him.
2. Did you become clingy or needy?
If you don’t have a clear understanding of what being clingy or needy is, it’s very easy to write it off as something that would not apply to you and your relationship with your girlfriend. So, the dictionary definition is:
Clingy (adjective): Too emotionally dependent.
Needy (adjective): Constantly needing emotional support; insecure.
In other words, when a guy gets to the point in his relationship where he feels that he cannot live without constant contact with his girlfriend, he is being clingy, and when he needs her to constantly confirm that she loves him, he is being needy.
No, being an attentive boyfriend who likes to spend time with his girlfriend, takes care of her needs and shows her genuine affection, attention and love is not being clingy or needy.
However, the mistake that some guys make, is they use their relationship with a woman as an excuse to hide away from life.
For example: A guy might stop hanging out with his friends, give up his interests and even stop following through on his dreams because according to him, “My girlfriend is the most important thing in my life. Apart from her nothing else matters. My friends feel boring to me and nothing I do without her is much fun anymore.”
Then, when he is with her, he will say things like, “Do you really love me? You know that I wouldn’t be able to live without you, right? You are my whole world. You’re not going to dump me, are you?”
What a guy like this doesn’t realize is that even though a woman likes to feel that she’s special and important to her man, she doesn’t want to feel like she’s his only purpose in life, or like she’s doing him a favor by being with him.
A woman wants to feel that even though her man has so many other things going for him (e.g. his pick of beautiful women), he has picked her.
That makes her feel lucky to be with him, and her respect, attraction and love for him will grow.
Naturally, there are women who enjoy having a man who has nothing else going on in his life other than being at her beck and call, but these are usually domineering or insecure women who are afraid of losing him if he realizes there’s something better out there for him.
However, the majority of women respect and appreciate a man who has more going on in his life than her, has goals and dreams and is reaching for his true potential as a man, is socially active, and yet at the same time is loving, supportive and someone she can look up to and respect.
If you and your girlfriend broke up, could it be that you slipped into the habit of putting her above yourself in the relationship?
3. Did you let her become the leader or boss of the relationship?
Have you ever heard guys saying, “I have to check with the boss first,” or “I don’t know if my girlfriend will let me do that,” or “She wouldn’t allow me to do that. I’d get into trouble with her” over something very simple or innocent?
This happens when a guy makes the mistake of believing that, by allowing his girlfriend (fiancé or wife) to wear the pants in the relationship, it will keep the peace between them and she will be happy.
However, the strange thing is that, even if a woman enjoys bossing her man around for a while, when the relationship dynamic goes out of balance (i.e. she takes on the masculine role and he takes on the feminine role), she will start to become angry, resentful and even bitchy towards him.
Rather than keep the peace, by allowing her to wear the pants in the relationship, she eventually loses so much respect and attraction for him that she breaks up with him.
Right now you might not fully understand why a woman would break up with you if you are giving her what she wants (e.g. to make all the decisions, be in control).
Yet, when you realize that women are instinctively drawn to the strength in men (e.g. confidence, masculinity, purpose, determination) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. insecurity, self-doubt, letting her be the boss and push you around), you will see that by handing your power over to her, you only managed to get her to lose respect for you as a man.
When a woman doesn’t respect her man, her attraction for him will fade, and the sex will likely slow down or dry up altogether.
Eventually she will break up with him because she simply cannot relax and be a feminine woman in contrast to his masculine strength while she still has to lead in the relationship.
4. Did she stop feeling sexy around you?
At the beginning of a relationship, when you can barely keep your hands off each other, telling a woman how beautiful she is and making her feel sexy is easy.
However, eventually the initial lust and romance settles down, and it’s easy for a guy to begin taking his woman’s sexiness for granted.
What most guys don’t realize is that women are a lot more insecure than they let on.
For example: A woman might walk around behaving like she’s the sexiest woman on Earth, dress in sexy clothes and have hundreds of guys trying to hook up with her, yet deep down she is thinking, “I just hate my thighs; they look so big,” or “If only my ears didn’t stick out so much, I’d look so much better than I do right now.”
In a relationship, this insecurity can become even worse if her man unknowingly points out her flaws (e.g. “Those jeans look too tight. Have you put on even more weight?” or “You should wear more makeup to hide those spots on your face. I don’t like how you look anymore”).
In his opinion, he might feel that he’s encouraging her to improve herself, however, from her point of view he is saying, “You’re ugly. I don’t think you look sexy anymore.”
When a woman feels that she has lost her attractiveness to her man, she will lose confidence in herself and the relationship will quickly begin to go downhill from there.
5. Did you stop reaching for your true potential as a man?
During the early part of a relationship, when the main focus is on the sex and romance, a man and a woman won’t usually discuss their goals and ambitions in life in too much detail.
To a woman, as long as the guy looks like he’s got goals and has purpose and direction in his life, she will feel more attracted to him and she will be happy to be his girlfriend.
However, even if a guy manages to hook up with a woman by attracting her in other ways, if when they are in a relationship together she realizes that he’s actually a slacker, is stuck in a comfort zone (e.g. stuck in a boring job, living at home with his parents), and he’s not interested in making anything of himself, her respect and attraction for him will fade.
Women like the idea of being with a man who is rising through the levels of life and reaching for his true potential.
That doesn’t mean a guy has to be famous or rich for a woman to feel attracted to him and love him, but it does mean he should have purpose and be moving forward in his life.
If a woman realizes that her man is stuck in his life and isn’t even interested in getting himself unstuck, she will begin to fall out of love with him and eventually break up with him.
You Can Get Your Girlfriend Back
The great news is that if you’re asking, “Why did me and my girlfriend break up?” you’re the kind of man who is willing to learn from his mistakes and change.
So, if you want to get back together with your girlfriend, the main thing you need to focus on is renewing her feelings of respect and attraction for you as a man, and her love for you will begin to flow again.
Even if, right now, she is saying things like, “I never want to see you again,” or “I don’t love you anymore,” you have to understand that her love for you is not dead. It simply means that she doesn’t feel like she wants to be in love with you right now.
However, when you make her feel differently (e.g. by showing her that you understand the reasons she broke up with you, make her feel understood), she will not be able to stop herself from feeling respect and attraction for you again.
When that happens, her guard will come down and, whether she wants it to or not, the love she felt for you will begin to flow back into her heart.