I’ve heard many reasons why marriage isn’t worth it for men.
Here are just a few of the things that men often think, worry about or ask when it comes to marriage…
- 50% of marriages end in divorce.
- A woman can lose attraction for a guy and decide to divorce him, even though she promised to stick with him for life.
- A woman can take 50% of a man’s money and assets if she divorces him.
- Why settle for one woman when you can be with many women throughout life?
- A woman can stop wanting to have sex with her husband and he is then stuck in a sexless marriage.
When you look at that list, it’s understandable why a guy might ask: Is marriage worth it for men?
Personally speaking, I am now married after living the bachelor lifestyle (i.e. sleeping with new women all the time, having multiple girlfriends at once) for over 10 years.
Being with new women all the time was great and I truly enjoyed it.
I could have kept doing that for life, but one day, something changed in my mind and I suddenly became open to having just one girlfriend at a time (i.e. committing to one girl).
Then I met my wife.
Just like previous girlfriends, she quickly proposed marriage to me and I said no, just like I’d said to other girlfriends.
She accepted it and said that she just wanted to be with me, so it didn’t matter.
Yet, she occasionally brought it (the idea of getting married) up and I kept saying no.
Then, she asked if would be open to having a child with her and after thinking about it for a bit, I eventually said yes.
That then caused me to become more open to getting married and the next time she proposed, I said yes.
Now, as I type this 8 years later, we have two children together and are just as in love as we were in the beginning.
The only difference, is that we’ve gone through so many experiences together, which have brought us even closer and made the relationship even stronger than it was before.
I’m confident that her and I will be one of the 50%+ of couples who last for life, so for me, marriage is worth it.
By being married, I get to have a loving wife who adores me, two beautiful children and a stable home environment, which allows me to focus on my work, rather than spending loads of time going out picking up, dating and sleeping with new women all the time.
5 Potential Pros and Cons of Getting Married
1. Approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce
That is both a pro and a con, because you could be one of the approximately 50% who make it.
Divorce rates differ around the world, but in most Western countries (I live in the West), an average of 50% of couples get divorced.
That is a big number and if you’re the kind of guy who has been raised in a single parent family because your parents got divorced, have experienced the negative effects of divorce in some way, or have experienced a number of painful break ups with your boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, you probably feel a bit turned off by the idea of being in the 50% who don’t make it.
Yet, the reality is that it is possible to make a woman want to stick with you for life AND be happy together.
Additionally, when married and truly in love, it creates a type of power that only a happy, committed couple have.
On my own, I was happy and I was making progress in life.
Yet, with my wife supporting me in her feminine way and me leading the way as the man, it has helped me become even stronger, wiser, more effective and more successful in life.
Essentially, because you know that the love is mutual and because the relationship is happy and secure, you don’t spend time worrying, stressing or trying to fix the relationship (or find a new girlfriend if you’re single and don’t get married).
As a result, you have so much more free mental and emotional energy to focus on your purpose in life, or your biggest goals, dreams and ambitions.
2. A woman can lose attraction for a guy if he turns into a needy, emotional guy over time
When a man sees a woman, he automatically feels attraction for her based on how she looks.
If she’s beautiful, or even just attractive, a guy will consider having sex with her and even starting a relationship with her, even if he doesn’t like her personality.
Women, on the other hand, are different.
Although a woman can find a guy physically attractive, if she then notices that he is nervous, insecure or without direction and purpose in life, she will instantly begin to lose attraction for him.
On the other hand, if a man notices that a pretty woman is shy, nervous or unsure of herself, it will often INCREASE his attraction for her, because she will seem vulnerable and he will feel more confident around her.
So, it’s important to understand that men and women feel attraction for different reasons.
If you get into a marriage and are initially confident, but then lose confidence over time, you will literally become less and less attractive to your wife.
She may try to support you emotionally for a while, but if she notices that you’re not growing up emotionally and are becoming less of a man, she will seriously begin to think about leaving you.
Threatening to leave often makes a man feel motivated to finally fix himself and man up, rather than expecting her to put up with his insecurities and weakness.
That right there, is something that makes marriage worth it for men.
It’s the kind of relationship you don’t want to mess up and as a result, are much more willing to man up, grow up and level up, so your woman remains attracted to you for life.
As a result, both you and her win and you become a stronger, more successful, more capable and powerful couple over time.
Yet, if a man doesn’t level up and expects his wife to just put up with it, then neither of them win.
It’s a lose-lose situation because he becomes weaker and she has to become a divorcee and try to attract a new man, even though she will have gotten older and lost some of her youthful attractiveness.
3. A woman will take 50% of a man’s month and assets if she divorces him
We’ve all read the horror stories in the news about a woman divorcing her rich husband and walking away with at least half of his wealth.
Yes, that happens and no, it’s not cool.
Yet, if you are avoiding marriage because you’re afraid tgat a woman will take 50% of your wealth, there are ways around this, like signing a prenuptial agreement.
I got my wife to sign one and even though she cried about it initially and thought it meant I didn’t trust her, she signed anyway because she wanted me to have peace of mind.
If she’s the right woman, she will sign a prenup out of love and respect for you.
If she’s a gold digger with bad intentions, she will fight it and refuse to sign it and in that case, you definitely shouldn’t marry her.
4. Why settle for one woman when you can be with many women throughout life?
Having sex with new women for life is something that appeals to a lot of men.
If this is your view, then by all means don’t get married.
There’s nothing wrong with a guy who chooses to spend his life having sex with new women.
Every guy should choose the path that he feels is right for him and that will bring him the most happiness, joy and fulfillment in life.
For some being the happiest and most fulfilled means being with many women, whereas for others, it is being in a committed, happy marriage and creating a family that loves each other, supports each other and remains close for life.
Yet, just know that you can change if you meet the right woman.
For example: A guy might think that he never wants to get married, or be committed to one woman for life, but then he meets a woman who makes him feel so good, so in love and so happy that he changes his mind and wants to commit to her.
Likewise, a man might think that he wants to marry one woman and avoid the whole dating scene, but then he learns how to attract and pick up new women for sex, realizes how easy it is and how much fun it is and then decides that he wants to play the field for a while (i.e. sleep with new women, date lots of women, have a lot of short term relationships).
5. A woman can stop wanting to have sex with her husband and he is then stuck in a sexless marriage
Yes, that can happen, but it doesn’t have to.
A woman will only stop wanting to have sex with her man if he no longer understands how to attract her and make her want him.
When a man understands his role in a relationship with a woman and knows how to maintain her attraction, the sex doesn’t stop and only ends up feeling more and more enjoyable, because you connect on such a close, intimate level without really having to try.
Deciding to Marry is a Decision Only You Can Make
Is marriage worth it for men these days?
If you’re pro marriage, you will likely say yes and if you’re anti marriage, you will probably remain that way for along time, regardless of what anyone says to you.
Personally, I don’t believe marriage is something people have to do to keep a relationship together for life.
Proof of that is the hundreds of thousands of couples who live together for life without ever saying, “I do.”
Yet, if you’re in a relationship with a woman who loves and respects you and whom you love and respect, and if marriage feels right for both of you, then getting married may be something you choose to do to show your commitment to each other.
If you approach the relationship correctly, I can tell you from personal experience that it will become one of the most valuable, powerful and fulfilling things in your life as a man.
I say “one of” because your main focus in life as a man should be your purpose, or your biggest goals, dreams and ambitions other than being with her.
Women do not want to become your purpose in life.
You still have to remain being a man and let her be your woman, rather than becoming more like her and making your life all about being in a relationship.
Your life as a man is more than just a relationship with a woman and if you understand that, it will be one of the things that makes her want to stick with you for life.
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