Many modern men are facing loneliness, boredom and frustration because a major component of their life is missing. What is it? First, let me ask you: When do you have the MOST fun? Is it when you are bored and alone on the couch?
I’m guess that your answer would be a certain NO. So, when DO you have the most fun? Personally, I think that fun is BEST when it is shared with others.
Sure, it’s great to be alone sometimes…but, not lonely. If you stop now and think back to all the fun times you’ve had in life, I’m pretty sure most (if not all) of them would have been around friends, family, a girlfriend or other cool people you know.
Here’s the thing…
If fun is best when shared with others, why do so many modern men HIDE away from socializing? Why do guys avoid the happiness that comes with having fun with people? The answer to that would require a huge explanation. So, instead I’ll give this some more context by telling you about a movie I saw a while back. It’s an extreme example of hiding away from socializing, but it raises some interesting points. The movie is called Into the Wild, with the lead role played by Emile Hirsch. It is based on a true story.
Christopher McCandless (played by Emile Hirsch) thinks that being a part of society is a scam and he’d rather be by himself to explore life and be with his own thoughts.
Personally speaking, I can appreciate where he is coming from and have often dreamed of having a mountain home, a wife and living off the land to be alone with my philosophical thoughts about the universe. Yet, I have found that I learn and grow more when involved in an active society.
Anyway, as the movie unfolds, you begin to see that he is alone…and lonely. Near the end of the movie (I won’t spoil it for you by saying what happens), he has a massive realization and writes down the following 6 words, “Happiness is only real when shared.”
Although I don’t agree 100% with that statement, I do think that happiness is better and more enjoyable when shared with other people. Now, at this point you might be wondering what the “moral of the story” is in this article and where I’m going with it. In case you haven’t already thought ahead and worked it out, let me tell you: Many modern men avoid socializing.
For a lot of guys, it seems like the LESS social interaction they can have the BETTER. However, this not only leads to a shrinking circle of friends and a boring lifestyle, but it also keeps these men AWAY FROM WOMEN.
I remember coaching a guy who came to me complaining about not being able to get a girlfriend for the previous three years of his life. When I asked him about his lifestyle, I discovered that he went to work every day during the week, came home and ate dinner, watched TV and browsed the Internet until it was time to go to bed… almost every night.
On the weekends, he would catch up with his one friend and they would basically keep to themselves. They didn’t enjoy going out to bars or socializing and meeting new women…and he was wondering WHY he couldn’t get a girlfriend.
It was no surprise to me that he was ALSO a guy who suffered from “that one special girl I’ve always liked” syndrome. Meaning, he’d met a girl YEARS AGO who showed him a bit of interest…and he was still hung up on her.
He and the girl stayed in touch via Facebook and e-mail, but nothing ever happened between them in person. While he sat around wondering whether or not she liked him, she was out there having sex and relationships with other guys.
He often talked about her with his friend, going over and over what he’d done right and wrong and wishing that she would just call or show him a clear signal of interest. Meanwhile, he was SURROUNDED by millions of women in his city…but, none of the women were ending up in his bedroom.
Over the years, I’ve found that the guys who avoid meeting new people are usually the ones who struggle the most with women. Their life becomes SMALL and they only know a “few people”…often, NONE of which can introduce them to single women.
However, not ALL guys are like that. Over the years, I’ve also been lucky enough to meet a lot of guys who are NATURALLY good with women.
EACH and EVERY time, these are the kinds of guys who start conversations with people ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE. If they are in a clothing store, they will start talking to the shop assistants…then, next thing you know – some of the browsing customers get involved too.
Then all of a sudden, the Natural is getting a phone number from the female shop assistant or a female customer. These guys NEVER complain about not being able to meet women…and it’s pretty obvious why.
However, what if you’re not used to talking to people in your everyday life? What if you’re the sort of guy who keeps to himself most of the time? CHANGE. You have to decide to change how you’ve been approaching life so far.
Keeping to yourself will only do one thing: Keep you to yourself.
I believe that fun is often the best when it’s shared with others…especially when you’re sharing fun times with beautiful women, who love you and really want to be with you. Being able to have that in your life is a big part of what being a man is all about.