Here are 4 reasons why breaking up can actually be a good thing for both you and the relationship…
1. It gives you an opportunity to become a better man, get her back and enjoy an even better relationship than before
Have you ever seen couples who’ve been together for a long time, but all they seem to do is argue, fight, criticize each other, or treat each other like an annoying brother or sister?
If you have, you may have thought to yourself, “Those two just shouldn’t be in a relationship. They don’t have enough love, respect and attraction for one another. Why do they stay together if they can’t get along?”
Now imagine this…
They broke up.
The man then took the time apart to change and improve and become a better man.
For example: If he was insecure and self-doubting in his relationship with his ex woman, he focuses on becoming more confident and self-assured as a man.
If he wasn’t assertive enough and he allowed his ex to dominate him with her forceful personality, he becomes more emotionally dominant and ballsy.
If he was too nice and allowed her to get away with throwing tantrums to get her way all the time, he now has the balls to laugh (in a loving, but dominant way) at her attempts to intimidate him with her bad behavior.
If he was too emotionally immature (e.g. he was drifting aimlessly through his life), he now has definite goals that he’s working towards and making progress on.
So, when he then interacts with his ex and she can see that he has changed, improved and become a much better man than he was before, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.
She will naturally feel drawn to him again and become open to getting back together, because she will see that the relationship could now be so much better than it ever was before.
In the same way, you don’t have to fear a break up with your woman.
Yes, it’s definitely not a nice feeling to get broken up with, but you can use the break up to your advantage by seeing it as an opportunity to level up as a man, get her back and enjoy an even better relationship with her than you did before.
So, if you’ve just broken up with your woman, rather than feeling sad and hopeless about the situation, start becoming a better man instead and realize that you can turn things around and get her back.
By making attractive adjustments to your behavior and approach to her, she will automatically feel drawn to the new and improved you.
Her eyes will open to the fact that falling back in love after a break up, is one of the most amazing feelings she will ever experience in her life.
As a result, her guard will come down and she will open herself up to giving the relationship another chance.
Another reason why breaking up can be a good thing is…
2. It improves your understanding of what it takes to keep a relationship together
Although it’s usually not intentional, a lot of guys fall into the habit of taking their woman and their relationship for granted.
For example: A guy may think, “I love her and she loves me. What more do we need to do? Everything else will take care of itself. She loved me so much at the start and she will always remember that and stay with me because of it.”
Yet, that’s not how it works…
For a relationship to thrive, the love, respect and attraction a couple feels for each other needs to be nurtured and grown over time.
If a man doesn’t know how to do that, the love will gradually fade away and get replaced with more negative emotions such as anger, resentment or boredom.
Of course, you may not have realized this during your relationship with her, which is probably why she is now your ex, right?
Don’t worry – many guys make the same mistake and end up taking their woman and the relationship for granted.
The good news is that when you improve your understanding of what it takes to keep a relationship together for life, you will easily be able to get your ex back and keep her in a relationship.
So, what does it take to keep a relationship together?
Here are a few examples:
- You need to maintain and build on your woman’s feelings of love, respect and sexual attraction for you over time. This does not require a lot of effort. In fact, it’s easy to do when you approach it correctly because it results in her doing most of the work to try to impress you and keep you happy. All you need to do then is treat her well and all will be fine.
- You need to maintain your confidence around her, regardless of what she says or does to make you feel insecure, jealous or angry (e.g. she throws a tantrum, says means things to you, talks about other men that are attractive). If you can maintain your confidence under that kind of pressure, she won’t ever want to leave you because she will know that 99.9% of guys just don’t have the self-belief that you do. Women are attracted to self-belief in men because it makes them feel safe, protected and assured that he can handle anything that life throws at him.
- You need to believe in your attractiveness and value to her, so can too. If you don’t feel worthy of her, she will eventually start to feel the same way and want to find a man who does feel worthy of her.
- You can’t treat her like a neutral friend, a buddy, one of the guys or roommate and expect the sexual spark between you to remain alive. You have to look at her, talk to her and treat her like she is your sexy woman, as well as being your loving friend.
- You need to mature as fast as her, or preferably, a bit faster than her. If she feels like she’s maturing faster than you, she will start to feel as though you are holding her back from experiencing new levels in life.
As you can see, there are many ways that you can either build on your woman’s feelings or destroy them over time in a relationship.
Now that you and her have broken up, the most important thing for you to do is to learn from your mistakes so that your new relationship with her, really will be so much better this time around.
When you interact with her and she senses and notices the changes in you, not only will she feel compelled to give the relationship a second chance, but she will also begin worry about you losing interest in her now that you are so much more attractive.
Another reason why breaking up can be a good thing is…
3. It gives you a chance to catch up to her level of emotional maturity and then start again
Sometimes a woman will mature a lot faster than her guy (e.g. she’s ready to stop partying and wants to settle down/focus more on her studies, but he only wants to hang out with his friends, get drunk/play video games/be irresponsible).
If she warns him about that and he doesn’t change, she will eventually get to the point where she’s had enough and break up with him.
He might see it as something that occurred all of a sudden, but in reality, it’s a decision she has building up to for some time.
Here’s the thing…
Even though it sucks to get broken up with, in some cases, it’s the wake up call that a guy needs to become more emotionally mature and focus on building a better, more secure future for himself.
For example: He might…
- Stop hanging out with his single, immature friends and start focusing more on his studies/work/projects.
- Set some long-term goals and start making progress on them.
- Get a better job, or work towards getting a promotion at his current place of employment.
- Move into a place of his own if he was still living with his parents or living with roommates.
When his ex woman sees that he has quickly grown up, matured and is now at a different level to the one he was at when she broke up with him, she will automatically feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.
When that happens, her defenses come down and she allows herself to reconnect with the love she once felt for him.
As a result, she will then begin to open up to the idea of giving him another chance because he’s now at the same. or a very similar level of emotional maturity as her.
Another reason why breaking up can be a good thing is that…
4. It highlights your strengths and weaknesses as a man
No one is perfect.
So, admitting that you have some weaknesses is not a sign that you’re a bad person, an unlovable man or a failure.
Instead, when you know what your weaknesses are, you can then work on turning them into strengths and as a result, become an even better man than you are already.
Start off by making a list of what you perceive as your strengths and weaknesses and then look for ways to turn those weaknesses into strengths.
For example: Maybe one of your weaknesses is that you’re too much of a nice guy in relationships with women, so you ended up allowing your ex to dominate you and always get her way.
On the other hand, one of your strengths is that you have a great sense of humor and you can make her laugh.
Now, imagine that you’re interacting with your ex (on the phone or in person) and she’s throwing a tantrum and blaming you for everything that happened in the relationship.
Naturally, she will be expecting you to respond like you always have in the past, by taking all the blame, treating her as the leader of the relationship and hoping that it pleases her.
However, instead of that, you use humor (i.e. your strength) to stand up to her and turn her bad mood into something that you can both laugh about.
For instance, you might say laugh (important) and say something like, “Oh yeah! It’s all my fault…I’m such a monster aren’t I? You poor thing… how did you ever survive? You deserve a medal or something for putting up with me all that time,” which will then stop her in her tracks and make her think, “Huh? What’s going on here? That’s not how he’s supposed to react. He usually just cowers under my pressure and bends to my will. Why is he so much stronger all of a sudden? Has he finally grown a pair of balls? Whatever the case, I like it. This is how I always wished he would be.”
In that way, not only have you used your strength (i.e. your sense of humor) to your advantage, but you’ve also converted your weakness into a strength by standing up to her rather than letting her get the upper hand and dominate you as usual.
As a result, she then can’t stop herself from feeling a bit attracted to the new, emotionally stronger version of you who now has the balls to stand up to her.
She then starts to look and think about you differently.
If you think about it, that probably wouldn’t have ever happened if you and her didn’t break up and you didn’t come under pressure to man up.
The break up has literally given you the opportunity to level up and start reaching your true potential as a man.
You start to see that you are actually a lot stronger (emotionally) than you previously realized.
The man in you was there, but he was hiding because he was afraid of how she would react.
Of course, this was just one example of where a guy might have gone wrong and what he needs to change to re-attract your ex.
For example: You might have been very manly and ended up going too far with that, to the point where you treated her badly, didn’t care about her feelings and took her for granted.
Re-attracting a woman in a situation like that requires a different approach.
You need to start being a better man to her, but don’t do it in a way that makes you come across as being desperate, sucking up to her or turning into a wimp.
You’ve still got to maintain your manliness, but just be a good man to her at the same time.
4 Mistakes to Avoid After a Break Up
As you may have realized by now, breaking up can be a good thing for you and the relationship.
However, there are also some drawbacks and pitfalls to avoid.
So, to ensure that you are successful at getting your ex woman back, be sure to avoid making one or more of the following mistakes:
1. Falling into a downward spiral of depression
Sometimes a guy allows a break up to ruin his life.
Rather than seeing the break up as a chance to become and be a better man, he begins to feel unworthy of his ex and potentially, unworthy of other women too.
He may begin to think, “I don’t blame her for dumping me. If I was her, I would done the same thing! She’s just too good for me, that’s all. I don’t deserve her and she finally figured that out. Now, I’ve lost her for ever! I’ll never find another woman like her.”
What he probably doesn’t realize is that women are attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, self-belief, courage, boldness) and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, self-doubt, desperation, self-consciousness, timidity).
So, if he interacts with his ex woman and she senses that he has sitting around feeling sad and depressed without her, she will feel turned off by what she perceives as his lack of emotional strength.
He might hope that she will pity for him and want him back because of that, but a lasting, sexual, romantic relationship cannot be based on pity.
It just doesn’t work.
So, don’t be the sad, depressed ex who ignores life and keeps to yourself now that she has left you.
Lift your chin up, know that you are worthy of her and get ready to re-attract her the next time you interact with her.
Be a man about this and take control of the situation.
She’s your woman, so get her back.
Don’t leave it all to chance.
Get her back.
The next mistake to avoid is…
2. Cutting off contact when you really want her back
In some cases, a guy will cut off contact with his ex, even though he wants her back, because he doesn’t know what else to do.
He may think, “If she doesn’t hear from me, she might start to miss me and then she’ll send me a text, or message me on social media to give me a sign that she’s open to us getting back together.”
Yet, that almost never happens.
When a woman has disconnected from her feelings of respect, love and attraction for a guy, him not contacting her doesn’t come as a big shock to her.
Instead, she just uses the time apart to get over him and move on.
So, unless your ex is still in love with you and wants you back, cutting off contact with her isn’t going to make her come running back to you.
For her to come running back, you need to use every interaction you have with her from now on to reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you again.
Some women will get back with a guy right away based on feeling a spark with him, whereas other will required 2-3 meet ups before they completely commit to being back in a relationship.
It really depends on you and your ability to re-attract her as you interact with her.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Comparing other women to your ex
No relationship is the same.
The connection that you share with each woman will always be different and special in its own way, but it will never be the same.
If you focus on comparing any new woman you meet to your ex, chances are high that she will never make you feel the same way because what you and your ex had together was unique.
So, don’t put yourself through that.
Know that you can re-attract your ex and enjoy a better relationship this time around and if you don’t want that, you can attract other women and enjoy relationships with them instead.
The next mistake to avoid is…
4. Thinking that it’s impossible to get her back
When a woman is saying things like, “Forget about ever trying to get me back, because it’s never going to happen. My feelings for you are completely dead and you need to accept that and move on,” it sounds like the truth.
It sounds like she could never, ever change how she feels.
So, a guy might think to himself, “Well, that’s it then. It’s over. Her mind is made up and I won’t ever be able to change it. As much as I want her back, it’s just not possible.”
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that by thinking in that insecure, self-doubting, defeated way, he is actually preventing himself from being the kind of man who can attract her back (e.g. confident, self-assured, determined, assertive).
If she senses his self-doubt and insecurity when they interact on the phone or in person, she will feel happy about her decision to remain broken up with him.
On the other hand, if he remains confident in himself and his attractiveness no matter what she says or does, she will naturally respect him for that.
He doesn’t ever have to say anything like, “I am confident in my attractiveness to you.”
Instead, he needs to project that by the way he talks, behaves and reacts and responds as he interacts with her.
Women can pick these things up and when a guy has that type of confidence in himself, they automatically respect it.
When a woman respects a man, she can then feel attracted to him.
When respect and attraction are in place, the love naturally starts to flow back into her heart.
So, rather than adopting a defeatist attitude and thinking, “It’s impossible to get her back,” focus on preparing to re-attract her the next time you interact with her.
When you do that, her feelings for you will automatically begin to flick back on.
She will stop trying to move on and will start to realize that breaking up with you was actually a good thing, because you are now a much better man than you before.
Suddenly, the impossible (i.e. her not wanting to get back together ever again) becomes very, very possible and real.