Here’s how to convince a woman not to go through with a breakup…
1. Suddenly make her feel attracted to you in new ways
She has already experienced your approach to attraction and feels bored of it enough to want to leave you.
So, if you keep approaching her in the same old way, she won’t feel inspired or motivated to give you another chance.
Instead, she will assume that staying with you will mean more of the same, which just isn’t appealing to her anymore.
This is why you need to focus on making her feel attracted in new ways, rather than sticking to your old approach.
- Be more flirtatious with her, rather than being so neutral like a friend.
- Be confident in your value to her, rather than behaving like a sad, confused and rejected boyfriend (or husband).
- Be more easygoing and lighthearted, rather than becoming defensive, frustrated or angry when she starts arguments.
- Use humor to break both you and her out of the stressed, negative mood you are in.
- Be more of a playful challenge at times when talking to her, rather than being so straightforward all the time.
- Have the courage to playfully say no to her about some things, rather than just complying with everything she asks because you fear her reaction.
- Be more genuinely complementary, rather than being so critical. However, don’t do it in a way where you’re sucking up to her. Let her sense that the compliments are real and are honestly just being a loving man, without trying to suck up to her.
- Be more manly in your behavior, rather than being neutral or worse, behaving like her at times.
- Be more emotionally independent, rather than dependent. Emotionally dependent means to be needy, clingy, jealous and in need of her reassurance to feel good about yourself.
When you attract her in new ways, she then begins to realize that sticking with you would mean a new, more enjoyable experience.
So, she naturally begins to change her mind about breaking up and wants to stick with you.
2. Let her sense that you have changed the subtle stuff that has been turning her off
Don’t tell her that you’ve changed the subtle things that have been turning her off (e.g. your insecurities, your inability to handle her moodiness) because she probably won’t believe you.
As the old saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.”
So, show her that you’ve changed the subtle stuff based on your actions, behavior, conversation style and the way you react to what she says and does during interactions.
BTW: Women will rarely admit or openly talk about the subtle things that turn them off.
It’s just something you need to know and understand as a man.
If you don’t know or understand, here are some examples of subtle things that ruin a woman’s feelings for a man when in a relationship:
- How he takes what she says so literally, rather than understanding that sometimes women say things that they don’t actually mean (e.g. “I hate you” or, “You always do this/that”). When in a relationship with a woman, you must relax and not take everything she says or does so seriously. If you can do that, both you and her will be so much happier because she’ll be free to be a feminine woman (i.e. girly, emotional) and will respect and love you for being the man (i.e. manly, in control of your emotions). If she has to be like a man and only say things that she means, then she will not be happy. You have to let her be girly, feminine and emotional and not be upset about it. You be the man and let her be the girl.
- How he can’t cope with her moods (e.g. when she’s throwing a tantrum, sulking, being difficult or argumentative). He takes it personally, gets annoyed, upset or begins sucking up to her in an attempt to fix the situation. He doesn’t understand that women feel turned off by men who follow a woman’s moods. What a woman wants is a man who maintains control of his emotional state, regardless of how a woman is behaving. She also wants him to occasionally use humor and flirting to break her out of her bad mood, rather than trying to have discussions with her, or accuse her of being crazy.
- How he has failed to be the leader in the relationship. He may have been able to do that early on in the relationship when they were dating, but he ended up handing over power to her. She feels like she is the more dominant one and is annoyed by how he looks to her to make all, or most of the important decisions. Alternatively, she knows that he wants to decide, but is afraid to do so because he doesn’t want to upset her. So, he lets her decide to hopefully keep her happy. Yet, that turns women off because almost all women don’t want to feel like a mother, or big sister to a guy. She wants to feel like his girl.
- How he’s too affectionate all the time (e.g. always touching and kissing her, saying, “I love you” multiple times a day and expecting her to say it back). She’s either not that sort of woman, or she is, but doesn’t feel like being that way with him because the attraction isn’t mutual due to the subtle ways he turns her off. If the attraction was mutual, his affection would be enjoyable, but since it isn’t, she looks at him as being needy, clingy and annoying.
Those are just a few examples and every relationship is different, so you will have to think about the subtle things that apply in your relationship.
When you get clear on what to change and immediately start making adjustments or improvements, she will feel understood without you having to explain it to her.
She will then want to work things out because some of her reasons for wanting to break up will have disappeared.
3. Use a more effective, mature approach to conversations with her
For example: You can do that by…
- Asking questions to understand her point of view, rather than just trying to be heard, or trying to get her to understand your point of view.
- Being more willing to listen to her point of view, rather than getting defensive when she says things that you don’t agree with.
- Being confident enough to use humor when a situation becomes too tense, rather than getting more annoyed, frustrated, or walking away in anger.
- Standing up for yourself in a dominant, but loving way if she is being unreasonable, disrespectful, or just putting the blame on you because she’s frustrated and doesn’t know else how to handle the situation in a mature way.
- Talking calmly about a difficult problem even if she’s getting upset, shouting, or crying.
- Looking below the surface of what she’s saying to pick up on the subtle things that are upsetting her in the moment (e.g. she complains about you not cleaning up after yourself, but what she’s saying without using the words, is that she feels taken for granted. She snaps at you for asking who she’s been talking to on the phone or on social media. What she really wants to say is stop being so clingy, jealous or controlling and just trust that she won’t cheat or leave you).
- Using a more effective and mature approach to conversations with her, ensures that you don’t end up pushing her further away emotionally than she is already.
When conversations with you start to feel more enjoyable, she realizes that you are putting in the effort to listen, learn and change.
As a result, her desire to break up begins to fade away.
4. Make her feel more love for you
When there’s a lot of negative tension, fighting and general unease in a relationship, a couple usually won’t want to be romantic with each other.
In other words, they won’t be as flirtatious or playful, will avoid hugging, kissing and will usually have a lot less sex, if at all.
They might also look for excuses to avoid each other (e.g. constantly play with their phone when around each other, spend extra time at work, find chores around the house to keep busy with, go places alone, distract themselves with hobbies).
When that happens, a couple slowly begins to disconnect from each other and one, or both of them will eventually fall out of love.
Then, rather than feeling like a couple in love, they feel more like strangers and in some cases, even enemies (e.g. during a fight).
Soon enough, a breakup will happen.
If something like the above has been happening in your relationship, then you need to focus on making her feel more love for you while you still can.
One of many ways to do it is to create a relationship dynamic that allows her to relax and feel safe and protected.
5. Let her sense that you’d be able to move on easier than her
Show her via your actions and behavior that even though you do want her to stick in the relationship, you don’t actually need her.
Important: Make her sense or feel it, without saying it to her.
By not sitting around moping and putting all your focus on saving the relationship.
Instead, even though you’re committed to fixing things with her, you also spend time making progress on your own goals, have fun with friends and enjoy life independently of her.
Approaching your life in that way eases some of the stress you may be feeling lately and also makes you seem more attractive to her (i.e. because women feel attracted to emotionally independent men who care for them, but don’t need them).
If she senses that you’re not insecure and are confident and continuing to move forward in life, she will know that other women will find you attractive.
Therefore, you won’t really have any problem moving on and replacing her.
Yet, she may struggle because she’s now feeling more attracted to you and if she leaves you and is unable to find a better guy, she will then trying to get you back.
So, rather than breaking up with you, she feels motivated to stick with the relationship and make it work.
6. Apologize for what you’ve done and tell her that you don’t expect her to forgive you
You can say something like, “I know that things have been difficult between us for a while and I’m truly sorry about that. Of course, it doesn’t excuse my behavior and I don’t expect you to forgive me just because I’m apologizing. However, I genuinely do regret hurting you and I want you to know that.”
Saying something like that softens a woman’s heart because she gets a sense that you’re being genuine, rather than just saying it to get what you want (i.e. for her to forgive you and not want to break up anymore).
She then feels more willing to forgive you because it’s in her best interests (i.e. she won’t have to lose you and end up missing you and regretting the breakup).
Important: Make sure that you apologize in a confident, emotionally strong way.
Don’t say it in a way where you seem insecure, unsure of yourself or as though you are seeking pity from her.
Be confident, emotionally strong, genuine and matter of fact about it.
7. Maintain control of your emotions when she tests you, or if she’s being unreasonable
A woman will usually test a guy’s confidence and emotional state, to help make up her mind about whether or not to break up with him.
If he reacts in an attractive way (e.g. confident, in control of his emotions), she will feel compelled to give him another chance.
If he reacts in an unattractive way (e.g. insecure, loses control of his emotions), she will feel compelled to leave him.
An example of a test is where a woman will become very unreasonable leading up to a breakup.
She will refuse to discuss things, make issues out to be bigger than they really are, or even go as far as not wanting to interact with him without a friend or family member present.
If he then reacts by becoming very upset, angry or getting into fights with her, she will use that as extra reasoning to leave him.
On the other hand, if he remains calm, confident and in control and also has the courage to use humor at times to get rid of negative tension, she will realize that he deserves more respect from her.
When she starts to show him more respect, or think of him in a more respectful way, she then naturally begins to reconnect with her feelings of attraction for him.
When that happens, she knows that there’s no point breaking up because she will just miss him and want him back.
The Easy Way to Get Her to Love You Again
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