Don’t worry – you can still get her back.
However, before doing that, it’s important that you understand the 5 possible reasons why she hasn’t responded yet:
1. You texted her in a neutral way
After using No Contact a guy might break his silence by sending his ex a feeler text to see how she will respond to him.
For example: He might text her something along the lines of, “Hey, how have you been?” or even just a simple, “Hey,” and then wait for her to get back to him.
Yet, in most cases, rather than get a response like, “OMG! Where have you been??? I’ve been thinking about you and wondering why I haven’t heard from you for so long. What have you been up to? Are you okay? Let’s get together sometime so that we can catch up,” the guy usually either gets a short, cold reply like, “What do you want?” or he gets ignored completely.
Why?
When a woman has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy and he then ignores her for a few weeks, or even months and when he does contact her he’s being all neutral and boring about it, rather than feel motivated to respond to him, she usually thinks something along the lines of, “Weird. I can’t believe he’s contacting me out of the blue after all this time to say hi. What does he expect me to do… run after him all of a sudden? Doesn’t he realize that I’ve been moving on and I’m pretty much over him now?”
She then likely puts him out of her mind and forgets all about his unimpressive text to her.
This is why, if you want to get a response from your ex, you need to make sure that you make an impression on her right away so she can’t stop thinking about you.
How can you do that?
By using some humor to break down her defenses and get her thinking things like, “What has gotten into him all of a sudden? He’s so funny and cute. I wonder what he’s been up to?”
She then becomes open to talking to you over the phone and meeting up with you in person to see for herself what has changed about you.
Remember: What you want is to spark your ex’s sexual and romantic feelings for you and being neutral or nice just isn’t going to accomplish that.
You have to be bold and make sure that when you interact with your ex, whether it’s via text, on a phone call or in person, you’re activating her feelings for you.
When that happens, her guard comes down and getting back together again becomes something that she’s open to.
Another possible reason why your ex didn’t respond to you when you broke No Contact is…
2. She is annoyed that you didn’t try to get her back the normal way
The normal way is to call her, meet up with her, re-attract her and reconcile.
Using No Contact is a mind game that only works on a very small percentage of women.
In almost all other cases, a woman will use the time apart to fully get over her ex and move on.
Here’s something you might not be aware of…
Once a woman has calmed down after a break up, she might find herself thinking things like, “I can’t believe we’ve broken up. It feels so weird to be without him. I wonder what he’s up to? I wonder if he’s going to call me to check how I’m coping. Maybe if he does we will be able to talk things through.”
So naturally, if she doesn’t hear from her ex at all (i.e. because he’s using the No Contact Rule to try and get her back), she will begin to think that he’s moving on.
She will then focus on closing her heart off completely and moving on with her life as well.
If her ex then contacts her unexpectedly after a few weeks (or months) of complete silence, she may end up feeling really annoyed with him and thinking things like, “Now? He contacts me now after all this time and expects me to respond to him? What a jerk! He had his chance with me weeks ago but he chose to ignore me instead. Well, whatever chance he had is now gone. He should have been man enough to call me when he had the chance. It’s too late now.”
She then ignores him back and refuses to respond to his attempts to contact her.
Of course, the good news is that you can still turn things around and get her back.
How?
You need to call her right away and do what she was likely hoping you would do weeks/months ago (i.e. start re-sparking her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you).
By the way…
If your ex won’t answer your calls either, you can text her this:
“Hey…I accept that we’ve broken up, but I just wanted to ask you something quick over the phone. Don’t worry, it’s not serious. I’ll call you in 10 minutes.”
Then, try to call her 10 minutes later.
If she still doesn’t answer, leave it for a day or two and then call her again.
Chances are, she will be curious about what you want and she will answer this time.
If not, text her this: “Hey! I tried calling you yesterday to ask you something quick, but I assume you were too busy to answer. No problem. I might try to get hold of you some other time so I can ask you that question.”
She might then text you back asking, “What do you want to ask me?”
Whatever her response, just make sure you call her, not text her back.
Then, when you get her on the phone with you, focus on maintaining your confidence with her regardless what she says or does to put you off (e.g. she’s cold and aloof, she tells you that she doesn’t want to talk to you again).
Use humor to break down her defenses and make her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you again and get her to agree to meet up with you in person, so that you can fully reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you and begin getting her back.
Another possible reason why your ex didn’t respond to you when you broke No Contact is…
3. She is testing to see how you will react
In almost all ex back cases, a woman will rarely jump at the idea of getting back with her ex right away.
Instead, she will usually play a bit hard to get (e.g. by not responding to her ex when he contacts her), to see how he will react.
For example:
- Is he going to lose confidence in himself and start doubting his chances of getting her back just because she’s not making it easy for him, or will he stay emotionally strong and sure of himself and continue to go after her?
- Will he start begging and pleading with her to respond to his texts, or will he just pick up the phone and call her instead?
- Will he find a way to get hold of her even though she’s ignoring him, or will he walk away and give up on getting her back just because she’s being a little mean?
- Will he try to suck up to her (e.g. send her flowers, write her soppy e-mails) in the hope that she will forgive him and open up to talking to him again, or will he maintain his emotional masculinity regardless of how she’s behaving towards him?
If he fails to pass her test, it will prove to her that he’s not really the man she wants to be in a relationship with.
She will then ignore him for real, because she is now convinced that she won’t be giving him another chance with her.
However, if her ex passes her test by remaining confident regardless of how she treats him, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling a renewed sense of respect for him as a man.
When she feels respect for him again, she will naturally start to feel some attraction for him too and when that happens, her defenses will come down and she will open herself up to talking to him on the phone and even meeting up with him in person to see what happens next.
Another possible reason why your ex didn’t respond to you when you broke No Contact is…
4. She wants you to pursue her more before she shows signs of interest
Sometimes, a woman is potentially worried that if she responds to her ex right away when he contacts her, she’s opening herself up to the possibility of him pulling her back in and then rejecting her.
So, to avoid that from happening she may decide to wait and see what he does next (i.e. will he continue trying to get her back or will he just walk away and move on).
Alternatively, a woman might feel a bit hurt that her ex has been out of touch with her for so long and she may want to see how much he really cares about her before she shows interest.
In her mind she might be thinking things like, “He never got in touch with me once after the break up, not even to see how I was coping. That made me feel like he didn’t care about me at all. Now all of a sudden he’s back in my life. Yet, I can’t trust that his feelings for me are genuine. I think I’ll just wait and see what he does next. If he really does still have feelings for me, he will remain persistent, even if I don’t respond to him right away. Then I will know that he does still care for me and I will feel more comfortable about opening up to interacting with him so that we can see how things progress from there.”
In either case, it’s up to you to put your ex at ease and show her (via your actions, behavior and the way you respond to her when she’s being cold and aloof) that you are serious about getting her back.
Of course that doesn’t mean you should chase after her in a needy or desperate way.
Instead, you just need to get her on a call with you and start dissolving her defenses by making her laugh and smile, flirting with her to create some sexual tension and showing her that you’re now a new and improved man.
When you do that, her resistance will automatically crumble and then the way opens up for you to get her back.
Another possible reason why your ex didn’t respond to you when you broke No Contact is…
5. She has no evidence to show her that you’ve changed the things about you that caused her to break up with you
Some guys hope that using No Contact will make their ex forget about all his mistakes and want him back.
Yet, although this can work sometimes (e.g. if a woman is struggling to find a new man, she’s really young and inexperienced when it comes to break ups and can’t handle the pain, she’s still secretly in love with her ex), in most cases, a woman won’t fall for it.
Instead, when a guy doesn’t contact his ex after the break up and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him, she ends up holding onto her negative memories of him, because she simply has no evidence to suggest that he would be able to do change and improve.
If he then breaks No Contact, rather than jump at the chance to interact with him, the woman usually thinks something along the lines of, “Why should I even bother responding to him? So far, all his actions have indicated that he’s the same jerk he was when we broke up. It would just be a waste of my time.”
So, if you want to get your ex back, you first need to show her that you’ve really changed and that means you need to do things differently to the way she’s expecting you to.
For example: If you contact her and she doesn’t respond, rather than chase after her in a desperate way, use the method mentioned above in Point#2 to get her on a call with you.
If she’s being offish or even bitchy towards you over the phone, rather than get upset and start doubting your chances with her, use humor to ease the tension and make her feel more relaxed.
If she pretends that she doesn’t want to see you in person, rather than feel insecure and start doubting your attractiveness to her, maintain your confidence with her.
The more she can see proof that you’re not the same guy she broke up with, the more open she will become to hanging out with you to see how she feels.
You can then easily build up her feelings for you again and get her back.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Breaking No Contact
If you’re not getting a response from your ex, it could be because you’re making some of the following mistakes:
1. Hiding behind texts, rather than calling and getting her to meet up in person
Sometimes a guy might decide to play it safe, by breaking No Contact with a text message to his ex, only to feel dejected if she doesn’t respond.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Imagine how that must come across to her.
She hasn’t heard from him for a few weeks or months and suddenly a message from him pops up on her screen and he’s acting like he’s been around all this time and asking how she is.
In her mind, she’s probably thinking something along the lines of, “What the hell does he want? He’s been ignoring me all this time and now he wants to say hi. Well whatever! I can’t even be bothered to answer him.”
The fact is, for your ex to want to respond to you, you need to reactivate her feelings for you first and you can’t do that via text.
So, if you want her back, you need to be emotionally courageous enough to make the first move.
You need to get her on a phone call right away, where you can spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you again.
Only then will she drop her guard and open back up to you.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Believing that she would be eternally annoyed if you called
Many guys make excuses why they don’t want to call their ex on the phone.
For example: A guy might say things like, “I don’t want to put her in an awkward position by calling her. My approach is important if I’m going to have a chance with her again,” or “What if she gets annoyed with me for calling her and then makes it impossible for me to interact with her, which means I won’t be able to get her back?”
He then actually annoys her even more, by texting, e-mailing or sending her messages via social media instead.
Here’s the thing…
It is possible that your ex will initially be annoyed when you call her, but she will relax and open up if you spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
So, don’t make excuses not to call her and do what works to get her back.
In other words, you need to attract her on a phone call and in person and then get to a kiss, sex and then a relationship with her.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Assuming that her non response means that she’s not interested
There are many reasons why a woman might not respond to an ex who has been ignoring her.
For example:
- She doesn’t want to come across as too eager, so she’s playing hard to get.
- She wants to see if he’ll pursue her even if she doesn’t jump at the chance to talk to him, or if he will just give up and walk away for real this time.
- She’s afraid of showing interest and then being rejected by him.
- She’s unsure of his motives for contacting her after ignoring her.
- She wants to take things slow and see if they are meant to be together.
- She knows about the No Contact Rule and she’s angry with him for using it on her, so she’s trying to get revenge on him by not responding to him.
As you can see, your ex may actually have a very good excuse for not responding to you that has nothing to do with not being interested.
However, if you allow yourself to assume the worst, you risk losing her for real because you were too afraid to take a chance on truly getting her back.
Don’t make that mistake.
Believe in yourself and get her back, even if she doesn’t initially make it obvious that she is open to getting back with you.
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