When a man has been dumped by the woman he loves, he may find himself wondering, “What the heck do I do know? Can I get her back? Will she want me back?”
He might also feel very lonely, depressed and even embarrassed that his once great relationship with her has ended up in ruins.
They used to be happy, but now she doesn’t want anything to do with him.
What can he do to get her back?
Unfortunately, when a man is unsure what to do, he will often make one or more of the following mistakes, which drastically reduce the chances of him getting her back.
1. Waiting too long to start the ex back process and she then moves on without him
In some cases, it’s possible to get a woman back immediately or within a few days, if a guy figures out where he has been going wrong (i.e. he has been turning her off by being too insecure) and interacts with her to make her feel re-attracted and begin to question her decision to break up with him.
He can then get to a hug, kiss and begin to make up with her.
In all other cases, a guy can get his ex woman back within 1-2 weeks if he approaches the ex back process properly (i.e. focuses on re-attraction).
Unfortunately, a lot of guys wait many weeks or even months before they build up the courage to start re-attracting their ex woman and getting her back and in some cases, the woman has already moved on by then.
He can still get her back if she has moved on, but he has made the process more difficult for himself.
If you want her back, don’t put yourself in that kind of position.
Make it as easy as possible for yourself by getting started with the ex back process TODAY (i.e. figure out what subtle things about you were turning her off, learn what to do instead so you can attract her in new, subtle ways and then interact with her to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you).
When she feels a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, it plants seeds of doubt in her mind about the break up.
She wonders things like, “Is it really over between me and him? Should I give him another chance? What would it be like to hook up with him again? What would it be like to see him again? What if I don’t see him again and he meets a new woman who finds who he is now very attractive? What if she’s prettier than me and he then loses interest in me?”
When you plant those seeds of doubt in her mind about her decision to break up with you and cause her to begin imagining what it would be like to get back with you, or to lose you, she naturally opens up to meeting up with you in person.
On the other hand, if you wait many weeks or months to get started on that, you may end up regretting it when you find out that she has a new boyfriend and is in love with him, or is at least dating him and hooking up with him.
So, if you want her back, don’t wait too long to get started.
2. Sending out feeler texts to see if she is interested and then giving up if she doesn’t respond positively, or at all
When a guy isn’t feeling confident about his chances of getting an ex woman back, he might decide to at least give himself a chance by sending her a feeler text (e.g. “Hey” or, “Hey, how’s it going?” or, “Hey, I just thought I’d say hi”) to see how she will respond.
If she sounds happy to hear from him, he’ll then take it as a sign that she’s interested and then keep texting, or call her and set up a time to meet.
On the other hand, if she seems cold, distant or disinterested, or if she doesn’t reply to his initial feeler text, he might then assume she is over him and still doesn’t want anything to do with him.
As a result, he then gives up and tries to deal with the pain of losing her forever.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Even if a woman is interested, she won’t always show that via text.
Instead, she will remain guarded because she doesn’t want to come across as being too eager and risk him rejecting her.
For example: Sometimes a guy will text his ex girl, just to see if she is missing him and is still open to being with him.
He doesn’t want to get back with her, but just wants to make himself feel better by knowing that she is open to him and has been missing him.
So, if a girl opens herself up to that, shows interest in her ex and then discovers that he’s happy without her, seeing a new girl or simply not interested in getting back with her, it can make her end up feeling like the one who got dumped, rejected or left behind.
This is why, many women will either not respond to an initial feeler text, or will respond, but in a distant or cold way.
In other cases, sometimes a woman will play games with her ex via text to make herself feel better.
For example: She will say that she misses him, or even ask what he thinks about the idea of getting back together.
It’s simply her way of checking to see how much he is missing her, if he is unhappy without her and if he is still hoping to get her back.
If she isn’t interested in him, but he is interested in her, she can then lead him on via text for days or weeks, but never agree to catch up in person.
She just feeds off the interest he is showing her and uses it to make herself feel more confident and secure as she moves on without him (i.e. by dating other men).
So, what should you do?
- Don’t rely on your ex’s response style via text to tell you how she is really thinking.
- Don’t stick to just texting her. Get to a phone call (audio or video) as soon as possible, so she can feel attracted to your confidence and the conversation can be more real and effective.
- Don’t ask her if she is still interested via text. Instead, make her interested by using attraction techniques (e.g. flirting, being a bit of a challenge, using ballsy humor).
- Don’t give up if she doesn’t respond to a feeler text, or even two feeler texts. There are other ways to get an ex to contact you.
Another common mistake that guys make when they don’t really know where to start to get their ex back, or what to do to make her change her mind is…
3. Feeling overwhelmed by how much he thinks he needs to do because he doesn’t yet know how simple attraction really is to understand and master
Here’s the thing…
Your relationship and break up was unique.
That is true.
There were also some complex things that went on between you and her, which lead up to to the break up.
Thankfully though, the solution to get her back is simple and natural.
It’s all about re-attracting her.
When you understand how to re-attract an ex and you do it, you instantly see how easy it actually is.
You begin to realize how much power and control you actually have over your interactions and relationships with women, now that you have a better understanding of how a woman’s attraction works and how women tend to just go with how they feel.
This means that a woman can literally go from hating her ex, or feeling disappointed and turned off, to loving him and feeling impressed, attracted and excited to be around him again.
It’s the same guy, but he has simply changed his approach to attraction.
So, up until this point, you may have been thinking that getting your ex back was a difficult, if not, impossible thing for you to do.
You may have even convinced yourself that there’s no way she would give you another chance, after what happened between you.
Yet, the truth is, just because you don’t yet know exactly how to re-attract her and get her back, it doesn’t mean you can’t learn it and then do it.
4. Assuming that to get a woman back, a man has to go through a long period of no contact
This is one of the biggest myths out there when it comes to getting an ex back.
The reason why is that for women to get a man back, it usually works well to cut off contact with him after he has dumped her.
The man feels like he doesn’t have power over her anymore and wants to contact her to see if she is still missing him, or he can’t get laid or get a new girlfriend for weeks or months and then contacts her.
The same rule doesn’t apply for men who want to get women back though.
In almost all cases where a man is trying to get a woman back, she is no longer attracted to him, isn’t interested in getting back with him and can easily attract new men for sex, dating or relationships.
So, when a guy cuts off contact for 30 to 60 days after a break up, he will almost always find that his ex girlfriend or wife simply moves on without him.
Now, of course, cutting off contact can work on some women in some cases, but it’s usually only when the woman still has strong feelings for her ex and doesn’t really want to be broken up with him, or if by some chance, she isn’t able to meet a new man and move on and then becomes lonely and misses her ex.
However, in almost all other cases, if a woman has disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for her ex, then not hearing from him for 30 to 60 days actually helps her get over him and move on.
She has time to get on dating apps and line up dates with new men, or date the guy at work (or university) who has a crush on her, be introduced to men via her friends, or go out to party, get drunk and flirt with new men who are keen to hook up with her.
So, if you decide to use No Contact on your ex (i.e. not contacting her for 30 to 60 days), just know that it can backfire and result in you losing her to another man.
On the other hand, if you take action right away and begin re-sparking her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you, she could be back in your arms today, within a few days, or at the latest, 1-2 weeks.
5. Trying to get her back by telling her how you feel, before you even re-attracted her
If a woman no longer feels attracted or in love with her ex, him pouring his heart out and telling her how much he still cares, isn’t going to make her say, “Wow! Oh, you care about me do you? You love me? Oh, well that makes all the difference then. Let’s get back together!”
That’s not how it works.
If you want her to care, you have to make her feel attracted to you again, so she looks at you in a sexual and romantic way, rather than looking at you as an ex that she is over and no longer wants anything to do with (sexually and romantically).
6. Asking her if she is open to talking about the relationship, before you begun re-attracting her
The relationship you and her had is over, at this point.
You can get the relationship back, make it even better than before and make her love you, respect you and feel more attraction than she ever did before, but you’re not going to get that by discussing the relationship if she’s currently not attracted to you.
Always remember: Attraction first and everything else after that.
When your ex is feeling attracted to you again, she will naturally start to feel as though what you and her had isn’t over.
She thought she was over you, but she’s now getting that feeling ‘down there’ and wants to be close with you physically.
As a result, she begins to image kissing you, being held by you and having sex with you and it feels good to her.
She also starts to imagine falling back in love with you, feeling amazing together and being able to have more mature, harmonious relationship this time around.
When she is imagining those things (AFTER you have re-attracted her first, by interacting with her and using attraction techniques), she will naturally open up to the idea of having a relationship with you again, or at least hooking up with you to see how she feels.
You don’t even have to ask her if she’s open to discussing the relationship, or try to convince her to give you another chance because she will want to herself.
She will feel compelled to meet up with you, be close with you and explore her new, exciting feelings for you.
If you don’t think that is possible with your ex, then you simply aren’t aware of how a woman’s attraction actually works.
It’s so easy to do.