After a break up, a woman will often hope that her ex man will rise up to the challenge, re-attract her and get her back.

She won’t make it very obvious to him though, but she will give him signs and hope that he picks up on them, takes action and gets her back.

Here are the 7 signs to look out for…

1. She is still open to talking to you or texting with you

When a woman does this after a break up, it’s usually because she is hoping that you have what it takes to reactivate her feelings of respect and sexual attraction and then guide her back into a relationship.

If you are able to make her feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, she will feel compelled to give the relationship another chance because it won’t feel like she is over you anymore.

She will feel drawn to you in a sexual and romantic way, so the thought of leaving you and never seeing you again will just be too painful for her at that point.

So, if your ex is still open to communicating with you, it’s important that you look at it as a sign that she might secretly want you to fight for the relationship and get her back.

It doesn’t mean that she has forgiven you for your mistakes, or is still very attracted to you and in love with you.

Instead, it just means that she is open to the possibility of you re-attracting her and getting her back.

If she was trying to avoid that possibility, she would delete your number, block your number, unfriend you from social media and ask you to leave her alone and never speak to her again.

If she is open to communicating with you, she is almost certainly open to getting back with you if you can play your cards right.

Essentially, she’s looking out to see:

  • If you have made some changes and can now give her the kind of attraction experience she always wanted, but never got from you.
  • If you have the confidence and emotional courage to get her back, especially when she’s being cold, distant and doing her best to discourage you.
  • If you can read between the lines/pick up on her subtle hints that she does want you back, but simply isn’t being very open about it at the moment.

This is why, when getting a woman back after a break up, you always have to be confident and look at her actions as a sign that she secretly wants you back.

There’s no point doubting yourself because it will turn her off and make you hesitate to take action when you need to.

If you hesitate (e.g. you don’t call, you don’t push for a meet up, you don’t hug her or kiss her at the meet up), you will most likely lose her, even though she was secretly hoping that you would fight for the relationship and get her back.

So, you just have to be confident about this and do what it takes to get her back.

Confidence is so important.

It’s one of the core personality traits that women find irresistibly attractive in men.

It’s kind of like how attracted we are to physical aspects of a woman, such as her breasts, thigh gap or feminine looking face.

A woman’s physical appearance is attractive to us men as a man’s confidence is to women.

In fact, in most cases, a woman would rather be with a confident, average looking guy than a good-looking, insecure guy.

Confidence in a man is so important to women, so make sure that you have got truckloads of confidence to offer her during the ex back process.

Don’t be offering her insecurity, self-doubt and nervousness and expecting her to want you back.

That’s not how it works.

You’ve got to be confident.

The more confident you are from now on, the more naturally attractive you will be to your ex.

If you want to be confident, you have to believe in yourself no matter what she says or does to make you feel insecure.

If you can do that, you will be able to effectively use every interaction with her, whether over the phone or via text, to re-spark her feelings for you (i.e. because you’re being very confident) and get her back.

However, if she secretly wants you to rise up to the occasion and fight for the relationship, but you’re sitting around doubting yourself, then soon enough, you will watch on in disappointment as she moves on with another guy and is happy with him instead.

So, if you want to avoid losing your opportunity with her, just rise up to the challenge, get her back and then enjoy the great times ahead with her.

Another sign that your ex might be hoping that you fight for the relationship and get her back is that…

2. She likes your posts on social media

She likes your posts on social media

There are several reasons why a woman might click like on her ex’s social media posts.

For example: A woman might do that because…

  • She wants him back and is trying to signal that to him by liking his social media posts.
  • She is a nice person and is trying to make her ex feel better after the break up.
  • She’s trying to show him that she’s not holding a grudge against him for what happened and still thinks of him in a positive way.
  • She wants to still be friends on social media, even though they’re not together anymore.
  • She wants to mess with his head (e.g. he begins asking himself, “What does it mean when she likes my social media posts? Is she still interested in getting back? What should I do? Should I post more? Should I contact her? Do I need to wait until she gives me a clearer sign?”).
  • She wants to make him contact her, so she can then reject him again and get emotional revenge on him for what happened between them.

As you can see, there isn’t just one possible reason why your ex will click like on your social media posts.

She could be up to no good and just trying to mess with your head.

Yet, focusing on the potential negatives isn’t going to help you feel confident enough to contact her and get her back.

So, what I recommend is this…

If your ex likes one or more of your social media posts, you should believe that the #1 reason why she did it is because she wants you back and is encouraging you to take action and fight for the relationship.

You could be wrong, but it doesn’t matter.

What matters the most when getting a woman back is that you interact with her and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you.

Even if she was initially intending just to mess with your head, she will quickly change her mind about you because you will have changed how she feels by making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.

All of a sudden, she will begin thinking things like, “Why do I miss him so much all of a sudden? After we spoke on the phone the other day, all I’ve been doing is thinking about him. Maybe this is a sign that we’re meant to get back together. I’ve got to follow my heart and stop messing with him.”

Seconds later, you get a text on your phone and she’s saying hi.

From there, you’ve got to follow through and get her to meet up with you in person, so you can properly re-attract her and get her back.

Another sign that your ex might secretly want you to fight for the relationship is…

3. She contacts you to ask how you’re doing

When a woman doesn’t have feelings for ex anymore, she’s usually not going to care about what happens to him or what he’s going through.

Instead, she’s going to be thinking something along the lines of, “I hope he misses me and feels horrible for what he did,” or “I hope he’s really suffering,” or even, “I hope his heart is broken and he never finds another woman like me.”

Harsh, I know, but that’s relationships for you.

After a break up, things change.

Women can become very nasty, rude, mean and cold.

There are reasons for that though…

So, if your ex is calling you up and asking things like, “Are you okay? Have you been taking care of yourself?” it’s most likely because she still has some feelings for you.

Don’t doubt it.

Doubting your attractiveness to her only makes you come across as insecure, which is unattractive to women.

You’ve got to see it as a sign that she really does have some remaining feelings for you and felt the need to contact you because she was thinking about you and missing you.

So, what you need to do is use the interaction as an opportunity to spark her feelings of respect, attraction and love.

If you do that, she then finds it even more difficult to remain broken up with you.

She feels drawn to you and wants you back.

Another sign she might be hoping that you fight for the relationship and get her back is…

4. She tries to keep you in her life by asking you to help her with random things

Yes, your ex may be a manipulative bitch who likes the idea of keeping you around, giving you hope that she might want you back and then using you to be her personal slave, but chances are, she isn’t.


She’s not that evil, right?

Hopefully not!

In most cases, women aren’t bitches like that, so if your ex is still contacting you and asking you to help her with random things, it should mean that she’s simply looking for excuses to interact with you.

This is a good thing!

She’s hoping that you see through her actions and realize that she really is missing you and hoping that you are confident enough to get her back.

Think about it this way…

After a break up, most women cut off communication with their ex guy and don’t want to see him, hear from him or think about him again.

They do that to help themselves move on with less pain and heartache after a break up.

Coming up with excuses to see you

So, if your ex keeps you around with excuses like, “You know that I’m hopeless with DIY stuff. I need to hang a painting on the wall of my new apartment. Can you please come over and take care of it for me sometime? I wouldn’t bother you if I could do it myself. I also don’t have anyone else that I can ask to help me. So, can you do that for me?” it may be a sign that she secretly wants you to fight for the relationship and get her back.

The key is to use every opportunity you get to be around her as a way of reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for you.

Don’t make the mistake that so many guys make with an ex and think, “I mustn’t do anything that might scare her off. I have to behave like a nice, sweet, platonic friend when we’re together and simply focus on making myself so helpful that she will realize how much she needs me and we can then get back together again.”


If you want your ex back, you have to make her feel strong sexual and romantic feelings for you based on the changes you’ve made to yourself since the break up (e.g. you’re more emotionally masculine now, you have the confidence to use ballsy humor, you’re more charismatic).

You also have to have the courage to flirt with her and create some sexual tension between you.

When you approach the ex back process in that way, it’s so much easier and quicker to get a woman back.

On the other hand, if you focus on being on your best behavior and treating her like a friend, she may think, “There’s no spark between us anymore and he probably feels that too. Maybe that’s why we haven’t gotten back together yet. I should forget about a relationship and start to move on. It’s over now.”

Another sign to look out for…

5. She talks positively about good times that you and her shared

As always, there is no guarantee that when a woman is saying things like, “We sure did share some good times together, didn’t we?” or “Remember the time our car broke down in the rain and we both got soaked wet while trying to hitch a ride home? That was fun. We shared a lot of those great moments together,” that she wants to get back together.

However, it’s possible, right?

Of course it is!

She could be trying to hint to you that she is looking at your relationship in a positive light and is hoping that you do something to get you and her back together.

The question is though…

How are you going to view it?

Are you going to think about it in an insecure way and say to yourself, “Nah…she’s just being nice. It doesn’t really mean anything,” or are you going to say, “Ha! She’s clearly still not over me. I can get her back. I’m going to use every opportunity from now on to show her that her feelings for me are real and only getting stronger”?

Remember: The more confident you are about your attractiveness and value to her, the more naturally attracted she will feel to you.

Be warned though…

It’s not about telling her that you feel confident though.

Don’t tell her.

Just let her sense it based on how you talk, behave and react to her.

Re-attract her with your confidence

She will pick up on it and it will naturally make her feel more attracted to you.

If you tell her, you are putting her in the position where she essentially has to say, “Oh, good on you. I’m proud of you,” which then makes her feel like a mother or big sister figure in your life.

If you just show her and let her experience it, she then feels like your girl.

…and that’s what she ultimately wants.

Another sign that she might be hoping that you fight for the relationship and get her back is…

6. She doesn’t want to talk about her dating other guys, or only talks about it briefly and then changes the conversation

Again, there is more than one reason why a woman might avoid talking about dating other guys with her ex.

For example:

  • She’s not sure if she wants to move on, or try to patch things up with her ex.
  • She wants to fully secure a relationship with a replacement guy before she tells her ex about it.
  • She doesn’t want him to move on before she does.
  • She’s only just opened herself up to dating again and it feels weird discussing it with her ex.
  • She’s still angry with him for what happened and doesn’t want to open up to him.
  • She doesn’t want him to become angry about it, or potentially turn violent.
  • She doesn’t feel like she has to tell him about it now that they’re no longer a couple.

Alternatively (and this is reason that you should believe is true for you), she doesn’t want to talk about dating other guys in case her ex starts believing that she’s over him and then decides to move on and find himself another woman.

Rather than discouraging him by saying she’s dating again, she may simply avoid talking about dating other guys and if he pushes her for an answer, she might say something like, “Yes, I’ve been on a few dates, but it didn’t work out. I’m not ready for a relationship yet.”

So, if your ex is doesn’t want to discuss the topic of whether she is dating other guys and hasn’t moved on yet, just look at it as a positive sign that she secretly wants you back.

Finally, another sign that your ex might want you to fight for the relationship is…

7. She regularly asks if you’re seeing anyone new

Of course, your ex may just be asking if you’re seeing anyone new because she doesn’t want you to move on first.

Alternatively, she might be curious to find out if you have been able to move on, or if you’re struggling to find a girl after having your confidence destroyed when she dumped you.

There are many different potential reasons for her asking about it.

However, what I’ve found by helping 100s of men to get women back is that, more often than not, when a woman asks her ex if he’s seeing any women, it’s usually because she is missing him and secretly hoping that they get back together.

So, what should you do if your ex asks, “So, are you seeing anyone new?”

Rather than saying, “No,” to make her feel sorry for you, or saying, “Yes” to hopefully make her feel jealous, just use it as an opportunity to spark her feelings for you.


Turn it into a joke and make her laugh and smile.

For example: You might say in a joking way, “Of course not! I’m just sitting home alone pining for you. I haven’t taken a shower in weeks and I’ve put on about 200 pounds/kilos from emotional eating,” and have a laugh with her about it.

Alternatively, you might say, “Yes, I’ve got 5 new girlfriends. Is that okay?” and then have a laugh to show her that you’re joking.

Alternatively, you might say, “Yes, I got married last week. We eloped to Vegas and had a drive through wedding” and then have a laugh to show her that you’re joking.

Approaching her question in that way ensures that you are doing the most important thing of all.

What is that?

Making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.

She feels respect for you for having the balls to joke around in a moment like that, rather than feeling like you need to be totally serious and be on your best behavior.

She feels attracted to you because you have the ability to make her laugh, smile and enjoy talking to you.

As you may have heard many women say, “I like a guy who can make me laugh.”

This is especially important in stressful or uncomfortable situations.

It takes balls and confidence to take a risk to joke around in a moment like that.

A woman might test her ex by pretending to not find it funny and saying, “Be serious. This isn’t a time for joking around.”

What should he do then?

Laugh at her for being so serious and say something like, “Oh, Little Miss Serious Pants. Okay, let’s be serious. Everything needs to be so serious. Now that we’ve broken up, there can be no laughing, no smiling and especially no feeling good. We’ve got to be serious, unhappy and not ever smile. Oh, okay…I get it now” and then have a laugh.

In other words, he doesn’t let himself get bowled over by the fake anger of his ex woman.

He doesn’t crumble under her pressure and start sucking up to her.

He remains confident and believes in his attractiveness to her.

That is what works.

Wasting Precious Time

The biggest mistake that I see men make when they want to get an ex woman back is that they waste time.

A guy will waste days, weeks or even months wondering, “Does my ex secretly want me to fight for the relationship? Is she giving me signs that I’m not picking up on?”

Meanwhile, as each day passes, she becomes happier without him and begins to forget him for days without even thinking about him.

She moves on.

Yet, he is waiting around, wasting time and not doing anything to get her back.

When she doesn’t come running back after days, weeks or months, he hopes that it’s because she doesn’t miss him yet and all he needs to do is stay out of her life for a bit longer (e.g. 30 or 60 more days).

Yet, that time passes too and she still doesn’t come back.

Not knowing what else to do, a guy might then say to himself, “Maybe if I give her another month or two of space, it will give her a chance to really miss me. She will then contact me and make it obvious that she wants me back.”

Yet, in almost all ex back cases where a guy is trying to get a woman back (who no longer feels attracted to him) that just doesn’t happen.

She simply moves on without him.

She gets used to not having him in her life, meets new guys, has sex and possibly falls in love with a new guy.

How about you?

Have you been wasting time hoping that she will come back on her own?

Ignoring a woman for 30 to 60 days works on some women who can’t deal with the pain of losing their man, but most women have no trouble at all moving on and finding a replacement man to fulfill their sexual and emotional needs.

So, if your gut instinct is telling you that your ex might secretly want you to fight for the relationship, you need to be the more emotionally strong one of the two of you and just do what it takes to get her back.

Do what it takes to get her back

You need to do what it takes to get her back even if she initially gives you mixed messages, or is a little distant and closed off.

Don’t expect her to be nice and easy and give you super obvious hints, such as suddenly sending a text message like, “I miss you so much. Can we talk?”

That would be great to get such an obvious, direct text from your ex, but after helping men to get ex women back for many years now, I rarely come across cases where a woman makes it that easy.

In most cases, the woman doesn’t want to make it easy because she wants to test her guy’s confidence, avoid looking desperate herself or avoid getting rejected if she shows interest when he has lost interest and no longer wants her back.

This is why you just need to be strong and do what it takes to get her back.

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