If your ex is an easy woman to get back (e.g. because she still loves you, she can’t deal with the pain of being without you or is unable to move on with someone new) she will give you signs that she’s open to reconciliation.
For example: A woman who is open to reconciling might give her ex some of the following signs:
- Contact him without him contacting her, just to say “Hi,” or to chat about random things.
- Tell him that she wants to be friends and still see each other.
- Talk about the good times they had together.
- Be willing to get together for a catch up.
- Regularly ask him if he’s seeing any other women.
- Tell him that she misses him.
- Tell him that she’s not interested in dating anyone else right now because she’s still trying to get over the break up.
Of course, not all women are easy to get back, so you might not have been getting those signs from her.
For example: If your ex is an attractive, independent woman who can easily move on without you, she might not give you any signs because she doesn’t want to make it easy for you to get her back.
So, what should you do if you aren’t seeing any obvious signs that she wants to reconcile?
You need to be emotionally courageous enough to contact her and begin the ex back process now, rather than being weak and ignoring her because you don’t want to give her any more power than she already has.
You contacting her doesn’t give her power.
Instead, you are simply being a man about it and being the emotionally courageous one out of the two of you who is willing to face potential rejections from her along the way as you get her back into a relationship ASAP.
Wasting Time Looking For Clear Signs From Her
Sometimes, a guy can waste a lot of time waiting for clear, obvious signs from his ex that she’s open to reconciliation to the point where she ends up moving on because he gives her way too much space.
What you need to understand is that not all women give clear signals of interest when a guy is trying to get them back.
A woman can be open to the idea of getting back together with her ex, but at the same time, she might not want to seem too easy.
To avoid looking desperate or over-eager, she may even act completely uninterested when he contacts her.
For example: When a guy mentions getting together for a meet up, a woman might say something like, “Hmmm… I don’t know. Maybe it’s too late for us,” or “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” and then wait to see if he is emotionally strong enough not to give up at the first sign of resistance from her.
Alternatively, if a woman is a little bit more open to the idea of meeting up with her ex, but still doesn’t want to come across as being too eager, she might say something like, “Okay, maybe we can catch up… but I’m too busy this week,” or “Maybe I can catch up sometime later this week, but it will have to be quick. I’ll give you 10 minutes and then I’m leaving.”
Regardless of the amount of interest that your ex is currently showing towards you, it’s up to you to be emotionally strong enough to take the lead and reactivate her feelings for you.
If a guy isn’t confident about how to get his ex woman back, he will often try to convince himself to just wait and hope that she contacts him and makes it obvious that she wants to reconcile.
For example: He might be saying, “If I contact her and she’s not open to reconciliation, she will reject me…and I can’t handle that kind of feeling again. She already destroyed my confidence and happiness by dumping me and I just don’t want to feel that way again,” or “Why should I bother trying to call my ex if she’s not even interested in getting back together again? Maybe it’s better to wait for her to give me a sign that she’s interested and then I’ll make my move.”
Yet, ignoring a woman and hoping that she does all the work to get the relationship back together rarely works.
Even if a woman is still in love with her ex, she might not make it clear to him and will wait for him to make the first move at reconciliation.
She wants to see what kind of man he is and whether or not he has the balls to get her back, regardless of how cold she is being towards him.
If he lacks the confidence to simply pick up the phone and arrange a meet up with her, it’s unlikely that she will wait around forever in the hope that he grows the balls to make something happen.
If you want to get your ex back, you must be emotionally courageous enough to contact her and begin the ex back process, rather than waiting around for signs from her that it’s okay to be contacting her.
Remember: Women respond positively to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, determination, going after what he wants without giving up when things get difficult), and feel turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, self doubt, giving up when things get tough).
If You Wait Too Long, She Might Be Gone
Where some guys go wrong is that they wait way too long to get a sign from their ex that she wants to get back together again.
Before he knows it, she’s moved on and is happy with someone else, or when he tries to contact her, she is completely over him and enjoying life as a single woman.
From the 100s of ex back cases I’ve worked on, I’ve found that some guys will waste weeks or even months waiting for signs that their ex is open to reconciliation.
He just waits and hopes because he doesn’t know what else to do.
A guy like that is often hoping that his ex will somehow make it clear that she wants him back (e.g. text him and say, “I miss you. Want to catch up?”) so he doesn’t have to face the possibility of her rejecting him if he reaches our to her to initiate a reconciliation.
Yet, because he’s so worried about being rejected by her and because he feels unworthy of her, he won’t see the subtle hints that she is giving him as a sign that she’s open to a reconciliation.
For example: A woman might say to her ex man, “I think we should be friends. We should stay in touch.”
Rather than agree with her about being “friends” and then immediately organize a meet up where he can reactivate some of her feelings for him in person, he instead says, “Sure, lets be friends. Text me or call me if you want to say hi” and he then waits for her to contact him.
Even though she has given him an opening so he can actively get her back by being friends and staying in touch, he still waits for her to give him even more signs (e.g. ask him for a meet up, tell him that she still loves him and can’t seem to move on) before he can believe that his ex is open to a reconciliation.
Then, when she doesn’t hear from him for a long time, she might begin thinking, “Oh well…I guess he isn’t interested in getting back together with me after all. It looks like it’s really over between us,” and will then likely move on and start having sex with other guys.
Here’s what you need to get clear on…
It doesn’t really matter if your ex is giving you signs that she’s open to reconciliation or not.
What matters is whether or not you are actively making her have feelings for you again when you interact with her.
When you interact with her, either on a phone call or in person, you need to have the courage and ability to reactivate her feelings for you via the way you talk, behave and react to her.
Once you’ve re-sparked her feelings for you, the next step is to confidently guide her back into a relationship.
“So… What’s Happening?”
Another way that guys go wrong is by sending a woman too many “feeler texts” to see if she responds with signs of interest.
For example: A guy texts his ex something like, “So, what have you been up to? Are you seeing anyone else yet?” in the hopes that she will respond by saying, “No I’m not seeing anyone. I still miss you. Want to catch up?”
Alternatively, he might text, “Hey… I was thinking about you today because I remembered something we did together. Do you remember how we went to Dave’s house party this time last year? That was a great night.”
He’s hoping that by reminding her of the good times they had together, she will realize how much she misses him and then possibly respond by texting him something like, “Yeah I remember that. We really had some good times together as a couple didn’t we? Do you think we should get back together again?”
However, a woman will rarely come out and tell a guy that she wants to get back together with him via text unless she is really still desperately in love with him and can’t get over the pain of breaking up, or she is unable to attract a better guy to replace him.
Here’s what you need to remember about texting your ex…
Even when a woman says that she misses her ex via text, or asks him if he wants to get back together, it doesn’t guarantee that it’s a sign that she is open to reconciliation.
In some instances, it’s simply a woman’s way of checking to see how much her ex is missing her, and if he is unhappy without her.
So, don’t waste a lot of time randomly texting your ex in the hopes that she’ll give you a clear sign that she is open to getting back together again.
The point of sending any text to your ex should be to get her on a phone call, where you can actively reactivate some of her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
When talking to her on the phone, you can make her smile, laugh and feel happy to be talking to you again.
From there, you then need to arrange a time to meet up with her where you can continue to reactivate her feelings, by saying and doing the types of things that are going to make her feel respect and attraction for you again.
An Example Of How to Reactivate Her Feelings For You
Rather than wait to get a sign from your ex to let you know whether she’s open to reconciliation, you can pick up the phone and start the ex back process right away.
Imagine that you’re calling your ex up to ask her to meet up with you for a cup of coffee to say hello and have a chat in person.
You can either use that phone conversation to spark some feelings of attraction and desire in her, or you can leave her feeling like she had a talk with a friend, a brother or an ex that she no longer has any romantic feelings for.
For example: When you call her up, you can say something like, “Hi Caroline, I just called to see if it would be okay to meet up for some coffee sometime. There’s something I want to talk to you about.”
Obviously, that’s not going to leave her feeling attracted, feeling happy to be talking to you and feeling excited about the idea of seeing you in person.
On the other hand, you can say something like, “Hey Caroline, I was driving past this little Italian pizza place today and I instantly thought of you.”
She will likely then ask, “Why?” and you can reply by saying something like, “Well, I was just remembering how good you looked that time you ate pizza and had cheese all over your face. You were a total mess that night.”
At this point, she will probably be laughing and feeling a little self-conscious.
You can then say, “Anyway, so I thought I’d give you a call to say hi as a friend. How’ve you been?”
Then, have a bit of a chat with her and add in some more humor to lighten the mood.
By talking to her in that way, she will be impressed to see that you’re confident enough to joke with her, even though you and her are now broken up.
After a bit more laughter and easy-going conversation, just say, “Anyway, so we should catch up and say hi sometime this week. Of course, it’s just as friends, so it doesn’t have to be anything serious. We can catch up to say hi for a quick coffee, but no pizza though because I don’t want to see a repeat of that Mozzarella moustache you had that night.”
She will most likely be laughing, smiling and enjoying the conversation with you because she can sense that you’re being easy-going and are not pressuring her to do anything.
She will also notice that there’s a little bit of teasing and flirting going on, which will be exciting to her and make her wonder, “What’s going on here? I really like talking to my ex now. It’s fun. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea to get together for a bite to eat, or a coffee, and see where things go from there.”
After helping 100s of guys to get women back, I’ve found that when you make an ex smile and laugh when you’re interacting with her, she won’t be able to stop herself from enjoying talking to you again.
When that happens, most or all of her negative, angry feelings she still has about you begin to fade away.
Her guard comes down and she becomes open to meeting up with you and seeing where it goes.
Make Your Move
When a woman wants to reconcile with her ex boyfriend, fiancé, or husband she may or may not give him obvious signs to let him know.
You should not wait around forever hoping that your ex is one of those easy women who give clear signals.
Most women want a guy to have the courage and ability to reactivate her feelings and confidently guide her back into a relationship, regardless of whether she’s being open and obvious about her interest in a reconciliation or not.
If a woman realizes that her ex is too insecure or self-doubting to call her up and start the ex back process, she will likely just move on with a more confident man.
So, if you are serious about getting your ex back, you have to make a move right away rather than worrying about being rejected by her or failing the ex back process.
Even when an ex is saying, “Leave me alone. I don’t ever want to see you again,” it’s almost always still possible for a guy to get her back when he reactivates her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
When you reactivate your ex’s feelings for you (e.g. by making some adjustments to your behavior and the way you are talking to her and interacting with her) she will open up to the idea of getting back together again, even if she was previously sure about being broken up with you.
Her feelings of respect, attraction and love become flooding back and
she becomes open to reconciliation.
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