It depends on the man, how much he loves the woman and if he is emotionally strong enough to deal with the break up properly.
Here are common 5 examples of how a man will deal with a break up:
1. A man accepts it, gives her some space for a week and then gets her back
One of the best ways for a guy to deal with a break up, is to get his ex back by reversing the break up.
This doesn’t mean that he runs after her in a desperate, needy way and begs and pleads with her until he wears her down and she agrees to give him another chance, only for her to break up with him a few days or weeks later when she realizes that nothing has changed.
Instead, it’s about him being emotionally mature in his approach to the ex back process and doing what needs to be done to, not only re-attract his ex, but also to become a better man in the process.
A guy like that will firstly avoid causing a scene when the break up happens.
Instead, he remains calm and emotionally strong and says something along the lines of, “Although I do still care for you and would have preferred that we try to work things out, I accept your decision to break up. I promise I won’t pressure you into doing anything you don’t want. We can just be friends from now on, okay?”
By saying that to her, he immediately sparks some of her feelings of respect for him again, because he’s being so emotionally strong and mature about the break up.
He then gives her a week of space where he doesn’t contact her at all (i.e. no texting, messaging her on social media or calling her on the phone).
This gives her time to calm down and begin to miss him.
Of course, he then doesn’t waste that week by sitting around moping and thinking negative thoughts like, “I miss her so much! This is so unbearable. I just can’t function without her in my life.”
Instead, he uses the time wisely, to quickly prepare himself to re-attract her when he finally interacts with her again (i.e. in a week’s time).
For example: Some of the ways he might prepare himself are…
He gets control of his emotions so that he doesn’t do anything stupid that could compromise his chances of getting his ex back (e.g. drunk text or call her in the middle of the night and tell her how much he still loves her, promise her that he will do anything she wants for another chance with her).
He realizes that although her misses her and wants her back, he doesn’t need her to feel good about himself and to be able to live a happy and successful life.
He comes up with a clear list of reasons why she broke up with him (e.g. he wasn’t manly enough for her, he had become too jealous and possessive, he took her for granted, he wasn’t supportive enough of her goals and dreams, he didn’t make her feel attractive and desirable anymore).
He starts working on improving those things about himself.
He begins leaning on how to re-attract her in new and exciting ways.
Then after giving her a week of space, he calls her on the phone to say hello.
Of course, like most typical women, she pretends not to be happy to hear from him and says something like, “Why are you calling me? What do you want?” to see how he will respond.
However, rather than get upset and feel unsure of himself, he uses humor to break down her defenses and make her open up to talking to him.
He makes her laugh and smile and she begins to feel really happy to be talking to him again.
He also flirts with her to create sexual tension between them and make her open up to wanting to see him in person again.
When he senses that she’s feelings sparks of respect and attraction for him again, he suggests they meet up in person as friends.
At the meet up, she notices by way of his attitude, body language, behavior and the way he responds to her, that he’s a completely different man to the one she broke up with.
This causes her to feel rushes of respect and attraction for him again.
At the same time, he continues to build the sexual tension between them.
Then, when the time is right and he senses that his ex is feeling attracted to him (e.g. because she keeps licking her lips, she touches him on the arm or leg, she plays with her hair or throat), he leans in and gives her a hug and then progresses to giving her a kiss.
They then go back to his place, hook up sexually and decide to get back together again.
Another example is…
2. A man breaks down emotionally, cries and starts begging for another chance
Sometimes, a guy isn’t emotionally strong enough to stay in control of his emotions after a break up.
As a result, he panics and begins crying, begging and pleading with his ex to change her mind, by saying things like, “Please baby! Don’t do this to me! You know that you mean everything to me and that I wouldn’t be able to live without you. I know that I stuffed up, but I will do anything to make it up to you. Please don’t walk away from what we had together. I beg you! All I’m asking is for one more chance to make things right again. Please!”
Yet, rather than make his ex think, “Wow, I never realized it, but his feelings for me are really deep. No other guy would beg and cry this way, so this must mean he really loves me. I’m definitely going to give him another chance now, because I will never find another man who is as devoted to me as him,” she instead pulls away from him even more.
A woman’s attraction to a guy is based mostly on his ability to make her feel like she can look up to him and respect him as a man.
So, when he starts begging, crying and being emotionally weak and needy, he actually makes her feel even less respect, attraction and admiration for him as a man, than she already does.
He’s turning her off further, when what he should be doing is quickly re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for him again, so she naturally becomes unsure about her decision to break up with him.
As a result, she feels certain that he’s not the man she wants to be with and he ends up losing her for real.
This is why, if you want to get your ex back, make sure that you don’t deal with the break up in this way (i.e. cry, beg and plead).
However, if you have already lost control of your emotions in this way, it doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around and get her back.
As long as you have learned from your mistake, you can hold your head up high, knowing that you’ve become and are currently becoming a better man because of what happened.
You’re no longer the same man who broke down and cried and begged her to change her mind and you’re also not the same guy that she broke up with.
You are a better man now.
So, don’t worry about how you behaved in the past (e.g. cried, begged and pleaded).
It’s what you do from this moment onwards that counts.
So, from now on, focus only on making your ex feel strong sparks of respect and attraction for the new you during interactions (e.g. by being confident and self-assured, making her laugh, smile and feel good to be around you, staying emotionally strong even when she is being cold and unfriendly towards you) and watch how easily she changes her mind about being broken up.
Another example is…
3. A man accepts the break up, but spends years trying to get over her and move on
Another way that some guys deal with a break up is to accept it and then try to move on.
A guy like that might think something along the lines of, “I don’t really have a choice about this. If she doesn’t want to be with me anymore, I can’t exactly force her. I have to accept it and move on, even though I don’t want to.”
He then spends months and even years trying to get over her.
For example: He might…
- Go out drinking and partying with his single friends and pretend that he’s enjoying the single life again.
- Hook up sexually with lots of random women.
- Join dating sites or use dating apps to meet new women.
- Accept blind dates from well-meaning friends.
Yet, no matter how much her tries to forget about his ex, at the back of his mind he’s usually thinking things like, “I’m just not happy. No matter how many women I’ve been with since my break up with my ex, I can’t seem to find a girl that compares to her. She was my ideal woman and I let her get away and I don’t believe I can ever feel satisfied in a relationship with another woman. Maybe I’m just destined to live my life alone.”
He might then close himself off and stop dating other women altogether and end up living a sad and lonely life.
Alternatively, he might decide to ‘settle’ for a woman that he’s not really attracted to or in love with, in the hope that she will never leave him and he won’t have to experience the pain he felt with his ex ever again.
He then either ends up feeling resentful and bitter, or is shocked when she actually does leave him, because he’s not being a confident, emotionally masculine man that women are naturally attracted to and want to be with.
So, don’t let this happen to you.
If you decide to accept the break up with your ex and move on, make sure that it’s because you want to, not because you feel that you have to, based on her feelings at the time of the break up.
Remember: Just because she’s saying that she’s over you, it doesn’t mean she will continue to feel that way a week from now when you re-attract her and make her feel strong surges of respect and sexual attraction for you again.
So, don’t walk away if what you really want is to get your ex back and then find yourself wasting years of your life wanting her back.
Get her back now.
You really can!
Another example is…
4. A man loses a lot of confidence in himself as a result of the break up and then is unable to attract a quality woman
Sometimes, a guy allows the pain of a break up to destroy his confidence.
He might then begin thinking things like, “I’m such a loser! If I couldn’t even hold on to my ex who said she loved me, what chance do I have of ever attracting another woman who doesn’t even know me?”
If he then happens to go out and interacts with other women, they immediately pick up on his feelings of unworthiness (i.e. it’s in the tonality of his voice, his body language, the way he seems so hesitant and unsure of himself around them and how he fails their confidence tests) and feel turned off by him.
He then gets rejected, which only validates his negative thoughts about himself.
Yet, here’s what a guy like that doesn’t realize…
A woman likes the idea of being with a confident, emotionally strong man who believes in himself and in his value to her.
So, when a guy is being insecure and doesn’t believe that he’s good enough for her, it does nothing to spark her feelings for him and make her want to talk to him, have sex with him, date him or be in a relationship with him.
This is true whether a woman is someone he’s met for the first time, is in a relationship with, or is an ex.
His confidence is what attracts her and his insecurity is what turns her off.
Of course, there are women out there who prefer to be with a man who doesn’t believe in himself (e.g. unattractive women, women who like to dominate guys when in a relationship) and eventually, he might find one of those.
He then ends up in a miserable relationship with a woman he doesn’t really feel attracted to or want, because that’s the best he believes he can do.
Yet, all it takes is for him to start believing in himself again and not only will he be able to attract better quality women, he can also get his ex back if he wants to.
He just has to believe that he is good enough.
Another example is…
5. A man walks away, hooks up with new women and gets on with his life
For some guys, a break up is a break up.
It happens, but it’s not the end of the world.
A man like that usually knows that he can have pretty much any woman he wants (i.e. because he is confident in himself and in his value to women).
So, rather than let the break up bring him down, he just moves on to the next woman and the next relationship.
He will then just enjoy having sex and hanging out with her, until she breaks up with him, or the novelty of the relationship wears off and he becomes bored, or meets another woman that catches his eye and he decides to move on instead.
Either way, he doesn’t waste any time moping about and feeling sorry for himself.
He also doesn’t give his ex a second thought, because he’s too busy moving on, meeting new women, having sex and enjoying his life without her.
Which Man Are You?
Based on the examples mentioned above, the question you need to ask yourself is, how do you intend to deal with your break up?
- Are you going to be the man who does what needs to be done to get your ex back as quickly as possible?
- Are you going to be the man who falls apart emotionally and then begs or pleads with her for another chance, therefore making her feel even more turned off by you than she already is?
- Are you going to be the man who wastes years of his life wishing he had had the courage to get her back when he had the chance?
- Are you the man who will lose confidence around other women, based on your inability to keep a woman interested and therefore, end up turning off quality women and only being able to attract women that you don’t really want?
- Are you going to be the man who moves on by sleeping with new women?
The choice is yours.
However, if you do decide that you want to be the man who gets his ex back into a relationship that is even better than before, you need to make sure that you approach the ex back process in the correct way.
If you don’t, you could turn your ex off even more and make getting her back more difficult for you.
This is why, you need to avoid making these 3 mistakes:
1. Wanting her back, but not doing anything about it
If you know that you want your ex back, don’t waste time thinking things like, “What if she doesn’t want to talk to me? Maybe I should just give her a few weeks of space to allow for things to calm down between us and then maybe I’ll try and get in touch with her and see what happens. I just don’t want to come on too strong right now and make her close up even more.”
The truth is, the longer you take to start the ex back process, the more time you’re giving your ex to move on and potentially meet, have sex with and start dating someone else.
Even if your ex still has feelings for you and is actually hoping you will try to get her back, if she notices that you’re not making a move, she’s likely going to assume that you ‘re not interested in her anymore.
She will then force herself to get over you and move on.
Don’t let that happen to you.
If you want your ex back, there is no better time to make it happen than right now.
So, get her on a phone call or to a meet up with you, re-attract her and get her back.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Sending her a text to see if she is interested and then giving up if her reply suggests she isn’t
Sometimes, a guy reaches out to his ex via text, only to feel disappointed when she doesn’t reply.
He then just assumes that she’s moved on and gives up on getting her back.
Yet, here’s the thing…
She might actually be interested, but not wanting to show that too obviously via text.
So, if you happen to text your ex and she doesn’t respond or she doesn’t seem too interested, don’t give up.
Instead, get her on a phone call where you can make her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you and show her (via the tonality of your voice and the way you interact with her) that you’re a new man.
Then, once you’ve sparked some of her feelings for you, her defenses come down and she opens back up to meeting up with you in person to see where things go from there.
However, if you give up at the first sign of resistance from her, you may lose out on the opportunity of getting her back.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Remaining stuck at the level you were at when she broke up with you
A guy will sometimes waste a lot of time sitting around missing his ex and wanting her back, rather than actually getting to the bottom of why she broke up with him in the first place.
If he then happens to contact her to try and get her back and she notices that nothing about him has changed or improved, he makes it easy for her to permanently walk away because he’s the same guy as before.
He’s stuck at the same level that he was at when she broke up with him (e.g. he’s still not ballsy enough to stand up for himself when she is talking down to him, he still feels insecure and like she’s too good for him, he still treats her more like a friend than a desirable woman, he still looks at her as being the main purpose of his life, rather than being a man who is happy and moving forward with or without her).
As a result, she loses even more respect and attraction for him and feels like she’s better off without him in her life.
He then can’t get her back, or attract or keep other women of her quality and caliber.
So, if you want to get your girl back, don’t stay stuck at the same level you were before.
Learn from your past mistakes.
Quickly improve your ability to attract her and make her feel respect, attraction and love for you again.
Then, contact her and show her that you’re a new and improved man (e.g. more confident, more emotionally masculine, more charismatic, more exciting).
When she can see that you really are at a different level as a man now, the idea of giving you another chance starts to feel like something she’s willing to do.
You can then guide her back into a relationship with you and enjoy the good times ahead.
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